Saw this on Nov18 and snagged it. I thought it would be fun. Maybe this will have to become a every month or every other month thread as I am sure it will get worse as we get further along!
I bet we have all been judged or questioned for what we do while growing our tiny humans, and it's impossible to be "perfect" for everyone so...I thought this would be a fun place for everyone to share and vent about the most ridiculous things they have been judged for while pregnant (or as parents).
Re: Crazy Judgement from others
This baby was planned and even if it wasn't that's none of your business.
Seriously wtf.
@nasalot188 gross. Seriously, deeply gross. I hope someone said something.
I'm very lucky that my MIL has never once put pressure on us to get married (we waited 6 years) or to have kids. We always knew she wanted a grandchild (especially with DH being an only child) but were so thankful for her support and understanding without even having to have the conversation!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
When DH told his ex he was having a vascetomy reversal her response was "Oh. You want more kids? Good luck with that."
Agreed with @britvahok - that is pretty disturbing.
As for mine- I just practice my unwanted advice response- that’s good to know, will take it under advisement, did you get a piece of cake?
@melopoly - I got a script down really quick to make sure it was perfectly clear that this was my choice. A lot of people were taken off guard because I also am not in any recognizable relationships.
Some people are judging me because of the spacing of DS2 and this LO and if this pregnancy was planned. DS1 and DS2 are 5 years apart and I got questions then about whether my pregnancy was planned.
Now she dresses herself, and will ONLY wear pink, purple, or some combination.
I’ve definitely had people tell me that I’ll end up with a girl who likes pink and glitter and lace. I’m like “so what? At least I’ll know she likes it from her own choice.”
I'm not even trying for “professional” anymore...just give me the long and warm socks, some leggings, and an oversized sweater for work appropriate.
You can also find this incredible post in the Sleeping Options thread, because this day was ruined before I even got out of bed.
I've been pretty lucky that no one has been too judgey... but it's still early haha. I have gotten a lot of comments of people who ask a question just to argue my stance or tell me about how they did it when they were pregnant.
Someone asked what food I missed the most and I said I don't really miss anything but it's a little difficult that I'm not eating cold deli meats when our boss caters a monthly meeting with sandwiches, and she said, "Well I ate deli meat when I was pregnant and my kids turned out fine."
And at a baby shower I hosted, the guest of honor was talking about the childcare class she took at her hospital and what she learned, and someone had to comment about how everything she learned is ridiculous or silly and she didn't follow any of that when she was pregnant.
Things like that. Roll my eyes.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
She hasn't been a nurse of years and gets offended when anyone disagrees with her about anything
@sarahzett ugh so sick of relatives telling me how everyone turned out fine. My mom pulled this one on me the other day how my grandma and everyone in the 60s smoked and drank while pregnant and they're all normal. I had to hide my laughter on that one.
The only real judgement I've gotten so far is for:
1. DH and I deciding not to share the baby's name until after she is born.. for some reason everyone is upset about this. LIke she will have the dang name for the rest of her life, you can wait 6 months. Plus I don't want your opinion.
and
2. I work in the aerospace industry as an engineer and sometimes we do hazardous stuff. MIL was not happy when I told her I had no plans of changing my work responsibilities (except working with certain chemicals). I know my job better than she does and would never do anything that carried a real risk of harming my child. That's what safety and hazard controls are for. Also, it bothers me that apparently my life is now worth more that I'm pregnant. She didn't care about the hazards of my job before and probably will go back to not caring once the baby is out of me. I guess the other people I work with who have families of their own are chopped liver too. The logic is baffling to me. Everyone wants to go home at the end of the day.
Edit spelling and punctuation
I really want to know what my SS's mom said. He mentioned that she made a comment about me being pregnant after I tagged him in the announcement on FB, but he claims he doesn't remember what she said after the fact. She's got my SS, a SS of her own, and an 18 month old, so she doesn't have room to judge me for having a third kid.
Only judgment I get is from my boss when I've needed days off because of cramping. And I'm fairly certain everyone watching me is judging me right now because I fell and hit my belly on the steps last night and I'm cramping so bad, but I refuse to leave work.... for the above mentioned reason regarding my boss. Can't win.
oh, and also that we must be trying for another girl (we have three boys and one girl right now). this one really throws me because the genitals my baby is born with tell me basically zero about who they are going to be as a human, so why would that be a deciding factor in my decision to have another child??
i just hate feeling like i am supposed to defend our decision to people. i got it before we had kids, and now i get it because we are choosing a large family. ugh.
ETA @Lisa3379 i think i need to work on mine. DH always teases me because i swear complete strangers feel drawn to tell me their life stories on a fairly regular basis.
However... @knottieamusements I was told about 5 years ago by an older gentleman that women who have kids shouldn't work because it's better for the kids if the mom stays at home. Like WTF?? I didn't know what to say then, just did the "smile and nod" thing. There is no right or wrong answer regarding being a SAHM or a working mom. Either choice is great, and in both ways you are providing for your child. I've had a couple of engineer friends who have said they want to be a SAHM after they have kids, and I know plenty of working moms as well. Why do people need to make things so black and white??
Fun fact too! I went back to my Jan ‘17 board to look at the names thread. So many people said they would be naming baby xyz for sure, but the baby is named something completely different! I don’t need to say it’s one name but then have to turn around and explain why it was changed or why it’s so and so.
@jellybelly114Good for you standing up for your job. You are right - you know it better than your MIL. My husband and I both work in the aerospace industry as well and he's an engineer. There are plenty of practices in place to ensure you are safe and it sounds like you will be speaking up to ensure they are followed.
Thanks for mentioning the name thing. We also aren't sharing the name until after baby is born. We haven't told anyone that's what we're doing yet but I'm going to prep myself for the complaints lol. I love that our family and friends are excited and I've been happy to share a lot, but this is the one thing we want to keep to ourselves.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20