Bumping this one For dinner last night I had a big plate of ravioli, maybe two hours later I was hungry again so I'm looking through the fridge minding my own business and my mom goes, "how can you be hungry again?! We had a big dinner" I didnt snap but I came back pretty quick with "oh I'm sorry are you growing two babies? No? Then you don't get to tell me when they're hungry or not!" And made myself an English muffin
DH and I bought a bunch of onesies at Target today cause they were on sale. I guess because they weren't all pink (a mix of white, gray, blue, and beige) the cashier felt the need to comment assuming we are having a boy. "Looks like someone must be having a boy!" After we politely said no, she says "oh then these must be for someone else... " I again politely say no, we're having a girl. She then gives me a judgemental look and proceeds to tell me how she guesses some of them are neutral colors so that could work for a girl. ?!? B, I'll dress my baby in whatever colors I want. I don't need your approval.
Edited for clarification cause words are hard these days
My Mom and I have been hitting thrift stores all week. She’s finally convinced that I’m going to put a baby girl into blue and green dinosaur onesies, but anytime I add something pink or flowery to the pile, she throws it back in the bin when my back is turned in case Blast turns out to be a boy.
She says “but people might call your little boy a girl”. Well, yes, but they are going to do that regardless of what I dress baby in.
Ughhh. Idk which are more annoying, the comments about how my baby “must be small” or the ones about how I’m not eating enough.
My sister made the nastiest face when I told her the name we were thinking of, then added, “why??”. Because she’s *MY* child and it’s a name *I* like????? And I’ve seen her mention it to others and waited to see a reaction from them. Why do people care so much?
This isn’t judgey per se but there are also people who think I can’t do ANYTHING at all. You can’t stand for too long. Don’t carry that box. That’s too heavy! Sit down. Why is Laura the one who went to the store, she’s pregnant?
PEOPLE I’M JUST GROWING A HUMAN, I’M NOT INCAPACITATED!
@laurasauruss for real. We aren’t useless. I asked my mom what I could make for 4th of July and she said “nothing. Put your feet up, have someone rip up some sheets and boil some water. That’s what they do for pregnant ladies in the movies.” I was flabbergasted. Woman, what in the hell. Lol
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
My boss's boss told me I'm not allowed to lift anything at work (we were moving desks so I had a box). I'm sure it's a liability thing, but still annoying.
So I was a BM in my friend's wedding yesterday. The make up artist was like "oh, so you must have 6 weeks left?" I was like "um no, 3 months". Very odd, since I'm actually quite small bumpwise, and literally every other person I saw that day was like "omg you are so small". I guess women who haven't had kids don't actually know what big vs. small is lol.
@laurasauruss that shit bugs me too. I just respond to every person with, “my two year old weighs 35 lbs so if it’s lighter than him I can handle it.” Most people shut up at that one and I even haven’t gotten some “I guess you’re rights.”
@jemmerjams along similar lines to people not knowing what big vs small is...
we did a game at the last baby shower I attended where you guess when baby will arrive, how long and the weight. My one friend guessed the baby would be 12 inches... the rest of us cracked up and after she saw everyone else’s guesses, she started laughing too and said “I guess that’s small? I clearly have no idea how long Babies are.” Hahahaha
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
A random woman lectured me this weekend about why I should be a SAHM and quit my job instead of leaving my kids with "strangers" She literally went on and on about how much of my kids life I was missing out on my working. I just ignored her but I wanted to respond "B*tch are you going to pay our bills"
@britvahok no clue if I've already mentioned this on this thread, but I had an older gentleman coworker tell me like 5 years ago that women who have kids shouldn't work because it's better for the kids blah blah blah. Nice guy, but man, you can't say that shit! This is 2018, we can work or be a SAHM, and neither is a bad choice!
@britvahok, H's grandma is a huge proponent of natural birth, and every time one of the grandchildren is pregnant multiple lectures are given (to both spouses...) She has it in her head that she like pioneered the natural birth/husbands in the delivery room movement in the US. Or, at least, her corner of it. It drove H's sister crazy when she was pregnant (she ignored virtually everything and was induced both times, lol).
H and I both have already gotten one lecture each. It annoys him. I essentially ignore her. I get it if this is her hill to die on, that's fine. At the end of the day, she won't be in the delivery room with me and has 0 control over how my birth experience goes. I'll do what I want/need to and gloss over the details later.
My mom is annoying the shit out of me. Since she found out I was pregnant (Friday) after NOT congratulating me, she's been ranting to others about how big I am and that I must be further along than I admitted. Then she goes on to send this lame ass passive aggressive text to our whole family about how there are "secret pregnancies" in the family. Wtf lady?! This is why I didn't bother sharing from the start.
@britvahok - I’ve had a few people (all older) lecture me about being a SAHM. I basically nod and smile, and don’t bother to point out that I am also a single Mom; who is going to pay the mortgage if not me?
@ummibtihaj - That is awful. As an aside, I find it incredible that she is claiming that you are further along than you admit- you’re six months! What benefit is there to lying about how far along you are?!?
I'm so over the majority of my family in general. It's really growing tiresome and keeping my distance really makes life easier. To add further insult to injury, most of them are indifferent at best to my husband for no other reason than he's not from the US. Seriously people, we're coming up on our 10th anniversary this week. Get over yourselves.
@ummibtihaj god that sounds awful, so sorry! When my fam drives me crazy (LBH it's mostly my MIL) I take solace in the fact that I am starting my own family with a partner I love and trust and we get to shape our home however we want to with whatever traditions and values we want to so f*ck everybody else.
@ummibtihaj that is awful! I am so sorry your mom/family are such...special people
As for the SAHM comments, I love to be an asshole right back with comments like 'I want my child to learn to be independent, and thats so much harder if I stifle them with being present all the time'- obviously kids of SAHMs can be independent, but if you wanna be an asshole to me, I will be an asshole right back
I keep seeing comments from Moms along the lines of “after 6weeks home with baby, I was so ready for leave to be over...”. I’m pretty sure I will be able to sympathize when I get there, even though right now the thought of leaving my baby at day care terrifies me.
That said, it isn’t so much that I want to be a SAHM, as I want to be a Stay-at-home-Person - independently wealthy, and doing whatever the F I want.
As far as being a SAHM, I get slack all the time for the choice I've made. My family can't understand why I went to college only to stay home. While my husband went back to school we had a deal that I would work, but once we were in a financial position for me to stay home I did. I'm not sure why everyone is so concerned since it doesn't affect them one way or another. My kids love me being available when they arrive home from school and that I can volunteer or chaperone their field trips. Plus we have summers free to do what we want not just on weekends To me this is worth it and I'm not willing to trade it because others think I should.
I hate that people try to shame mothers in particular regardless of the choice they make.
Power to all the stay at home parents out there. I love my kids to death, but I am not cut from that cloth. If either one of us were going to SAH it would be DH. He’d be an awesome SAHD and would get way more sh*t done around the house than I ever would. Plus it took me two University degrees to get where so am (shockingly the Drama Major didn’t do a lot for me...) and I love my job.
Power to all the stay at home parents out there. I love my kids to death, but I am not cut from that cloth. If either one of us were going to SAH it would be DH. He’d be an awesome SAHD and would get way more sh*t done around the house than I ever would. Plus it took me two University degrees to get where so am (shockingly the Drama Major didn’t do a lot for me...) and I love my job.
Im with you, I’d like to work 80% maybe, but if we had a SAH parent, it would totally be Dh.
I keep seeing comments from Moms along the lines of “after 6weeks home with baby, I was so ready for leave to be over...”. I’m pretty sure I will be able to sympathize when I get there, even though right now the thought of leaving my baby at day care terrifies me.
That said, it isn’t so much that I want to be a SAHM, as I want to be a Stay-at-home-Person - independently wealthy, and doing whatever the F I want.
I want to be a stay at home dog Mom but for some reason, I can’t find anyone to pay me a corporate salary for that. Weird. Lol.
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
I hate that people try to shame mothers in particular regardless of the choice they make.
This.
Whole heartedly agree.
@HoosOnFirst, I would love something at like 70-80% for a better balance (I currently work well over 40 hrs/wk most weeks). I just see myself being too stressed out/stir crazy at home full-time. I give SAH parents a ton of credit for what they do.
I'm so impressed with SAHP because there's no way I could do that and be sane. My kids will be better off and happier if I go to work. I need that to balance me out, without it I can be a very mean impatient person.
Afm mine is a general bitchiness. I got way too many comments about how small I was with DS. Now I'm being told this one will be a girl (team green) because I'm "carrying in my back/butt." I'm thanks for telling me my butt is getting huge, I so appreciate it. Also because I'm getting so many comments I even watched that stupid video thier bumps ads throw in about what your bump shape means. Apparently it means I'm a STM who is in not as good of shape as I was the first time. Hmmm - while I dislike that second part I'll own it. Truth. (Tbh I really wanted to see if placental placement had anything to do with shape/ how you carry. I think it would make sense and be super cool to know.)
With my first pregnancy I was also told by so many people I looked 'so small'. It may sound like a compliment but it's not....all you do is worry that your baby isn't growing properly or that you aren't eating right etc. Everyone thought my baby would be under 6lbs....nope! Almost 8lbs! I showed them
@nasalot188 literally me. I get told that all the time. Which makes sense, because I haven't actually gained weight (also having a long torso helps hide the bump). I brought my lack of weight gain up to my OB a month ago, and he wasn't super concerned and said he usually sees pretty big babies in women who didn't gain a lot or were sick a lot. Baby takes what they need!! Sometimes I do worry about it, but I'm assuming since I'm not starving myself, and I'm still able to work out, etc, I'm probably doing ok.
Re: Crazy Judgement from others
For dinner last night I had a big plate of ravioli, maybe two hours later I was hungry again so I'm looking through the fridge minding my own business and my mom goes, "how can you be hungry again?! We had a big dinner" I didnt snap but I came back pretty quick with "oh I'm sorry are you growing two babies? No? Then you don't get to tell me when they're hungry or not!" And made myself an English muffin
Edited for clarification cause words are hard these days
#TeamGreen
My Mom and I have been hitting thrift stores all week. She’s finally convinced that I’m going to put a baby girl into blue and green dinosaur onesies, but anytime I add something pink or flowery to the pile, she throws it back in the bin when my back is turned in case Blast turns out to be a boy.
She says “but people might call your little boy a girl”. Well, yes, but they are going to do that regardless of what I dress baby in.
My sister made the nastiest face when I told her the name we were thinking of, then added, “why??”. Because she’s *MY* child and it’s a name *I* like????? And I’ve seen her mention it to others and waited to see a reaction from them. Why do people care so much?
This isn’t judgey per se but there are also people who think I can’t do ANYTHING at all. You can’t stand for too long. Don’t carry that box. That’s too heavy! Sit down. Why is Laura the one who went to the store, she’s pregnant?
PEOPLE I’M JUST GROWING A HUMAN, I’M NOT INCAPACITATED!
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
Um. Thanks?
So I was a BM in my friend's wedding yesterday. The make up artist was like "oh, so you must have 6 weeks left?" I was like "um no, 3 months". Very odd, since I'm actually quite small bumpwise, and literally every other person I saw that day was like "omg you are so small". I guess women who haven't had kids don't actually know what big vs. small is lol.
we did a game at the last baby shower I attended where you guess when baby will arrive, how long and the weight. My one friend guessed the baby would be 12 inches... the rest of us cracked up and after she saw everyone else’s guesses, she started laughing too and said “I guess that’s small? I clearly have no idea how long Babies are.” Hahahaha
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
H and I both have already gotten one lecture each. It annoys him. I essentially ignore her. I get it if this is her hill to die on, that's fine. At the end of the day, she won't be in the delivery room with me and has 0 control over how my birth experience goes. I'll do what I want/need to and gloss over the details later.
@ummibtihaj - That is awful. As an aside, I find it incredible that she is claiming that you are further along than you admit- you’re six months! What benefit is there to lying about how far along you are?!?
Edited because typing is hard.
As for the SAHM comments, I love to be an asshole right back with comments like 'I want my child to learn to be independent, and thats so much harder if I stifle them with being present all the time'- obviously kids of SAHMs can be independent, but if you wanna be an asshole to me, I will be an asshole right back
That said, it isn’t so much that I want to be a SAHM, as I want to be a Stay-at-home-Person - independently wealthy, and doing whatever the F I want.
I hate that people try to shame mothers in particular regardless of the choice they make.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@HoosOnFirst, I would love something at like 70-80% for a better balance (I currently work well over 40 hrs/wk most weeks). I just see myself being too stressed out/stir crazy at home full-time. I give SAH parents a ton of credit for what they do.
Afm mine is a general bitchiness. I got way too many comments about how small I was with DS. Now I'm being told this one will be a girl (team green) because I'm "carrying in my back/butt." I'm thanks for telling me my butt is getting huge, I so appreciate it.
Also because I'm getting so many comments I even watched that stupid video thier bumps ads throw in about what your bump shape means. Apparently it means I'm a STM who is in not as good of shape as I was the first time. Hmmm - while I dislike that second part I'll own it. Truth.
(Tbh I really wanted to see if placental placement had anything to do with shape/ how you carry. I think it would make sense and be super cool to know.)