October 2018 Moms

Crazy Judgement from others

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Re: Crazy Judgement from others

  • @tinattt23 and @cdepperschmidt yes to the nursing thing!!! They weren’t too bad with A but with E, there was constant questioning on if she was eating enough, or if she needed formula (my parents even offered to buy it) since she’s so tiny. Then they kept asking how how long was I going to nurse her... I finally snapped at my parents and they stopped. It was more obnoxious to me because she was my 2nd. I’d still be nursing her now if she didn’t self wean after I got pregnant. 
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  • Hot damn you were in my N14 group!!! lol I knew I recognized your name! 
    I WAS!!!! Hahaha! So you are dealing with that lovely 3 1/2 age too huh?!?! 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • KFrobKFrob member
    All of the comments about car seats, breastfeeding, and CDs are blowing my mind!!  Why would you question anything that has to do with safety?!  My mom breastfed me and my brother and also CDed both of us so maybe my family is crunchier than I thought?  We did BLW and I expected some comments on that but my grandmother looked at me baffled and was like kind of like "how else would you feed the baby, that's how I fed all my kids".   
  • @sammierose464 BLW = Baby lead weaning.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • This one hasn't happened in a while, and isn't fully Pregnancy related. I hated when my mom would tell me "just wait until you have kids of your own" on topics related to my step son. I do have a kid. No, I didn't give birth to him, but he's my son. So yes, I've had a kid of my own for almost 3 years.


    Ugh, everyone did this to me with E. "It's not the same, just wait." Unless it's something specifically related to pregnancy or child birth, I can guarantee you that whatever discussion y'all are having about your kids applies to me too. I got him when he was older (12) but I could still contribute to all the conversations. Everyone but the other stepmoms gave me the side-eye or cut me out. 6 years and one baby later, I stand by what I said in the beginning.

    @sammierose464 Have you announced yet? I had a lot of people try and tell me that I would love Z *so* much more once they knew I was pregnant. I ignored those comments until he was born, then I made sure to tell them that no, I did not love him more. I loved them differently, sure. But I don't love one more than the other.


    E will be 18 on July 24th
    Z was born October 16, 2016
    #3 Due October 9, 2018

    MC - November 29, 2012
    CP - November 15, 2014
    D&C for MMC - October 13, 2015




  • Seriously the breastfeeding thing, I don’t know about yours, but my kids wouldn’t even use a soother during those desperate times let alone a bottle of formula lol. They wanted the boob and that was it!

    I was told by an older lady that I was crazy for having my first 2 so close together (they’re 18 months apart) ??? 

    I’m dreading telling my friend that I’m a bridesmaid for because knowing her comments the first thing she will say is either “I thought you were going to wait till you were married first!” Or “so much for waiting until you’re married!” Yes, I did say that long ago but we agreed we would rather have another baby first because we don’t want the huge age difference between them and we just wanted a baby now! Not later. Marriage can wait, we are happy and content the way we are.
    And she will also be overly concerned about the bridesmaid dress fitting because we are picking them out in May this year (a year before the wedding) I’ll be 16 weeks or so and obviously I won’t have a baby belly anymore when the wedding happens. I just don’t want to deal with her OCD and rude comments at all!
  • @mama2b723 My face got huge with my last pregnancy and I’m so insecure about it looking back! I would be bothered by those comments too. 
  • @krzyriver Thankfully I haven't heard that one lately, but I have heard it before. Yeah, I will have a different connect to this baby since I gave birth to him. However, I will love both of them the same. 
  • Sooo....

    We always talk about how after baby is born, nobody says anything about baby’s name.  I found out yesterday just how big a lie that is.  

    I’m talking to a woman that I know to see and have friendly conversations with, but not someone I would consider a friend, especially not a close friend.  Unsolicited, she gives me her opinion on what her SIL named her daughter, and how it was a a boring name.  

    I’m like, dude, I know you are a teacher and the name is relatively common, but really?  You don’t know me, and your complaining about your neice’s name? I tried to change the subject but she brought it up a couple of times.

    *sigh*

    (Yes, I know what most people mean is they don’t question the name to the parents’ faces.)



  • @knottieamusements I read that and literally could only respond with a head tilt and furrowed eyebrows. Why on earth does she feel the need to share that? That's kind of crazy it's getting to her so much that she needs to bring it up multiple times. Clearly she was looking for some validation on her UO.
  • @chopchop25 - That is kind of my thought too. I only validated that being a teacher has to make picking out names hard.  I’m not sure she recognized the difference though.  
  • @knottieamusements oh ya! Biggest lie ever! *MOST* people are too polite to say anythino after the baby is born/they see it. But I've heard (and witnessed) tons of horror stories about shit said to parents about babies name, while holding the baby. Sometimes it goes beyond off handed comments and involves shitty, manipulative bs, tears, trying to bribe the parents to change the name. It's crazy the entitlement of some family (mostly parents/grandparents/in laws) especially when it comes to thinking they have a say in naming (or should). People are horrible lol
  • @knottieamusements yeah we’ve gotten a fair few comments about Elsa’s name, both before and after she was born, ranging from “so... her name is Elsa. What do you actually call her?” to just “yeah I hate it.” Birth didn’t do much to slow the comments down.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @DunkinDecaf People have actually told you they hate her name to your face? That's terrible! My DD has a very different name but it has a lot of meaning to us. We've gotten some weird looks sometimes and I'm sure some talk behind our backs, but never anything to our faces. People suck.
  • Seriously @DunkinDecaf? That's awful! What is wrong with people!?
  • Wow.. just wow. So after we broke the news to our families about the pregnancy (who were all crying happy tears!!), I told my friend (who i really can’t  stand but I’m stuck in her wedding as some of you may know). It took her about 30 mins to finally say “well damn, Im happy for you”.. 
    Her first response was asking me if I can still be a bridesmaid... I’m due October 2018... HER WEDDING IS MAY 2019... I knew this would be her first question. 
    Then she preceded to ask me more judgmental questions, “I thought you were starting online school in September?” , “I just thought you wanted to be married before having another one” ”Austin and I are doing things opposite way of you then..”
    Wait.. it gets better.. 
    She then sent a text that made my blood boil, “you better get your tubes tied after this one”
    WHAT?!?! We have 2 beautiful children 5 1/2 and 4. We WANT a third child and possibly more FYI... (I never said these things back to her but still made my point to make her question sound stupid although she hasn’t no idea what she is saying is bizarre.

    I don’t need her support, I never have the past couple years, but I spent the afternoon crying in my vehicle because I’m so sick of her selfish, rude personality. How could someone say those things to me when I have perfectly happy family just because we aren’t married yet. 

    Sorry for the longest rant ever.. 
  • I’m too nice I guess, it’s a weakness.. we’ve been friends since 7th grade which is why I haven’t said F you and your wedding. Although i reeeeeally want to. 
    Thank you. 
  • Ugh sometimes long term friends can be the worst! It is like they think they can take advantage of you or be rude and get away with it because you have so much history. I'm sorry she said those hurtful things to you. You are a way nicer person than I am to deal with that BS. I hope she realizes that she was rude and apologizes 
    Me 33 DH 41
    TTC since 2016
    Due: October 12, 2018
    Location: Ontario, Canada

  • edited April 2018
    Yes that’s exactly it! She has always been a rude person too so that makes it worse. 
    Thanks!

    edited for typo
  • How unbelievably rude! I can't imagine someone would feel any of that is appropriate.
  • @ohmotherofboys That's just awful! I can't even wrap my mind around why she would think or say anything like that.  I'm sorry you experienced that.  Just because we know someone is being nasty and their words shouldn't matter doesn't mean they don't hurt.  I'm glad that you and your SO are planing your life around your wants and needs and not following someone else's path just because it's traditional. Congratulations on all of the beautiful babies you have today and might have in the future.  
  • @arome2311 Thank you for those kind words! :smile:
  • @DunkinDecaf - People I know and have a certain rapport with definitely get more leeway than a lot of other people on various things.  It also matters how much I like you.  

    My Dad can call my dog Wally, but I totally marked a potential contractor for a remodeling job off my list for presuming to do the same thing.  (My dog’s name is Walter; he is not a Wally.)
  • @sliztee I probably sound crazy for dealing with her but fortunately I haven’t really had to deal with toxic people besides her, especially a long term friendship, I’ve kept my distance from her for a couple of years though.
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