I feel big and I'm getting way more comments about my body/bump this time than with DD. Suddenly over the last 3 weeks or so. I've gotten two "so, any time now" comments - nope, three more months ! And a ton of the guess at what I'm carrying crap "You're having a boy aren't you?" - Nope, a girl, sigh, nope they are not wrong, did DNA test and ultrasound.... Even my doctor who I LOVE walked in the exam room on Friday and said "Wow, you really popped since your last appointment!"
@jemmerjams yup! exactly. People need to mind their own bodies. And its true long torso hides the bump, I'm the same Doesn't mean baby isn't hiding in there.
@jemmerjams@nasalot188 Everyone is completely different and how they gain weight and/or carry the baby. For people to be commenting on that when they aren't doctors is silly! Don't listen to them.
For example I'm still at my pre-pregnancy weight but that is because I lost 8 lbs in my first trimester and gained it back my 2nd trimester, now that I'm off metformin. My belly is growing fast and furious! My OB even said that I'm tracking on the larger side for my fundal measurement and will need to give me a growth ultrasound in a month to see how big baby is. So my OB is not concerned, but now I'm concerned I'm going to have a LARGE baby! LOL
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie take the measurement or even the ultrasound with a grain of salt. Neither are very reliable. I read up on both but can only remember the details of the ultrasound. The u/s is a guess and can be off as much as 2.5 pounds +/-
I always see everyone say it can be 1lb to 2.5lbs difference from ultrasound to actual size, but I have to say it is soley dependant on the machinery and the person doing it. We have a radiologist (I think that's the word?) Not an ultrasound tech that does ours. She is the only one who works the entire clinic, has done so for multiple decades and has never been more than a few ounces off. She has quite the reputation, and one of the reasons I chose our clinic. She was 1oz off with DS, and had he not had his meconium movement in utero, probably would have been the exact weight she said. But in other places (especially ones where a tech does it and someone else reads it) I've seen up to 2lbs difference. Totally depends on the circumstances.
@sliztee mine is the exact opposite! Lol Unless necessary for baby (and they have good reasoning/proof) I refuse induction before 40 weeks. (DS was 39+6, 3 hrs shy of 40 weeks) Mainly because I know body is capable of doing it, and also because I am petrified of it leading to C-section! With that being said, since our U/S lady is so dead on, and DS got stuck, OB has already said if DD reaches 9lbs, we will do a C-section. (DS wasn't quite 9lbs and got stuck horribly. He's lucky he has no lasting effects, but it messed me up!) So fingers crossed she doesn't out gain her brother!
Today, I was standing in line in our company cafeteria talking to one of my acquaintances while I ordered a cold cut sandwich. She asked if my OB let me eat cold cuts. I am so surprised with the way the rest of my day went I didn’t bite her head off.
Look, I will eat what I choose to eat. I do not need to defend my choices to anyone. No, cold cuts aren’t something I am supposed to eat, but neither is the fish at the other end of the line, and the romaine at the salad bar was also on my prohibited list a few months ago. What the fuck am I supposed to eat???
And yes, I have them heat up the cold cuts before I eat my sandwich, even though I don’t like them hot.
ETA: Sorry for spilling more bitchiness on you all. It has been a really fucking long day.
Went to a fancy retirement dinner for my boss last night and one of the women there grabbed my belly and went, “you still have three months to go?? You’re so big.” Fuck you. First of all, my bump is adorable. Second, who says that?!
I haven’t gotten many offensive comments but I do think it’s interesting that the ones I have gotten have all been from women. All the men I work with have been nothing but supportive and kind.
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@sarahzett I feel the same way. Guys ask “how are you feeling?” Then offer you the shaded seat. Women make all the comments. Ugh. Also, seriously? Don’t touch the belly without permission!
The other night we were hanging out with one of DH’s good friends and his girlfriend. She showed up late and was obviously in a bad mood, so I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. But, yeah.
I know DH told his friend this is an IVF baby, so I assumed she knew, and that’s fine, but I’ve never talked to her about it, nor do I feel the need to. She walks in and leads with “so hows your science baby?” I was so shocked I don’t think it registered at the time, but afterwards I was super pissed. Even DH, who’s pretty even keel, was offended.
@halfanewt that is super fucked up. Basically everyone and their mom knows this is an IVF baby and no one has ever said anything like that to me. I am mad for you
WTH?! My ex and his wife had their son via IVF after an unsuccessful first attempt. I was so overjoyed for them. If anyone had said something stupid like that to either of them I would've punched their lights out!! Why is it any of her business how your child was conceived anyway? That's just like when people learn I'm expecting #5 and they comment on how "busy" my husband and I have been. Really?!
Checking out at Kroger today the cashier was saying hey to DD then caught a glimpse of my bump and says “Mom’s not expecting *another* baby, is she!?” With the most disgusted look on her face. When I tell her yes she let’s out a huge sigh and continued to tell me the rest of the time how it’s way too soon for me to have another baby and saying things like “and she is going to be *how old* when the baby comes?” And sighing the whole time. Like, thanks for your unsolicited opinion random old lady. What was I thinking not asking you what you thought 6 months ago when I made this decision?? I think my eyes almost rolled out of my head.
@SawyerRichardson wow! Why do people think it's okay to give their unwanted opinion? My kids will only be 14 months apart and I haven't even received that type of crazy judgement. I'm actually really surprised people haven't made rude comments because I'm 7 months pregnant with a 11 month old.
Parenting / not parenting comes with so much judgment it's ridiculous. I don't think there's any other life decision or profession out there that comes saddled with so much judgment no matter what you do.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
DH and I live on a boat on the west coast, and we often get people who imply that this was an accident... It's like, no, we're both 34, we tried for sixteen months, I had to deal with a multitude of tests, and eventually use fertility meds - we damn well wanted this baby, and badly! Just because we have a bit of an alternative lifestyle, doesn't have any impact on whether or not we'd decide to start a family.
I finally came across someone that was weird! I picked up my parents’ dogs at the groomers and brought DS with me. The woman working there asked what I was having, and I said a boy. She had this bummed expression and said “aww... oh well”. Lame. I said “nah, boys are awesome.” She then says “yeah, but you can’t dress them in the cute frilly little girl stuff.” Because that’s what’s important.
@mamabearcj I did say something like “well, if they want to wear that stuff they could”. I almost said that I wouldn’t dress my daughter in frilly stuff anyway, but decided to leave that one alone.
Reviving this as we all grow bigger.. I posted my maternity pictures on Facebook because I really do love them but idk why people can't just say "you look wonderful" or whatever and move on!? My great aunt comments on several pictures with varying comments all saying "wow now you look big! ... still beautiful" why can't it just be beautiful? Why you gotta tell me how big I look? I know I look big. I dont need your confirmation.
I'm so over the "when are you due...oh wow he's gonna be a big baby." Yeah, probably if be goes full term. I'm short (5'3") and DH is 6'3", there's a good chance he'll be a long chunky baby. I don't need you commenting when I already feel huge
I had a lady come up to me at an event with a kid under 1 year and asked when I was due. Said early Oct and she was like oh, wow I thought you were due much sooner. Really? You had a kid recently yourself so you should know what dumb things NOT to say! I am tall and I have a long torso so I know I don't look all that large. Ah people.
my standard answer when people ask when i am due (unless it is someone who actually cares) is "this fall" and most seem to just take it, either because it is good enough or because they don't really know how to follow up. if i give a better answer than that it just opens the door for some stupid comment! (not that pregnancy has me crabby or anything )
@norahkate - I wish I had taken that approach. I got really sick of “well, baby should come on X date because it is my/my spouse’s/my former neighbor’s neice’s birthday.”
@knottieamusements yes!!! Idgaf when your neighbor’s dog’s bday is and he’s ugly and stinks anyway so maybe I don’t want my child to share his bday with him. +1 to people being shocked by how far away my due date is. What’s it to you anyway? Yes it’s a long ways away but I’m the miserable one. Not you. It’s like they think they’re making “polite conversation”. And I know people are just being nice but I’m also a little tired of “congrats, lady!” On what? My hemorrhoids? You’re pretty brave assuming I’m pregnant. Yup I’m grumpy.
Re: Crazy Judgement from others
For example I'm still at my pre-pregnancy weight but that is because I lost 8 lbs in my first trimester and gained it back my 2nd trimester, now that I'm off metformin. My belly is growing fast and furious! My OB even said that I'm tracking on the larger side for my fundal measurement and will need to give me a growth ultrasound in a month to see how big baby is. So my OB is not concerned, but now I'm concerned I'm going to have a LARGE baby! LOL
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
@sliztee mine is the exact opposite! Lol Unless necessary for baby (and they have good reasoning/proof) I refuse induction before 40 weeks. (DS was 39+6, 3 hrs shy of 40 weeks) Mainly because I know body is capable of doing it, and also because I am petrified of it leading to C-section! With that being said, since our U/S lady is so dead on, and DS got stuck, OB has already said if DD reaches 9lbs, we will do a C-section. (DS wasn't quite 9lbs and got stuck horribly. He's lucky he has no lasting effects, but it messed me up!) So fingers crossed she doesn't out gain her brother!
Look, I will eat what I choose to eat. I do not need to defend my choices to anyone. No, cold cuts aren’t something I am supposed to eat, but neither is the fish at the other end of the line, and the romaine at the salad bar was also on my prohibited list a few months ago. What the fuck am I supposed to eat???
And yes, I have them heat up the cold cuts before I eat my sandwich, even though I don’t like them hot.
ETA: Sorry for spilling more bitchiness on you all. It has been a really fucking long day.
I haven’t gotten many offensive comments but I do think it’s interesting that the ones I have gotten have all been from women. All the men I work with have been nothing but supportive and kind.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
I know DH told his friend this is an IVF baby, so I assumed she knew, and that’s fine, but I’ve never talked to her about it, nor do I feel the need to. She walks in and leads with “so hows your science baby?” I was so shocked I don’t think it registered at the time, but afterwards I was super pissed. Even DH, who’s pretty even keel, was offended.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Fuckin Kroger.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
@mytrueloves that is so true. No matter what you do someone is always going to have an opinion on it.
I posted my maternity pictures on Facebook because I really do love them but idk why people can't just say "you look wonderful" or whatever and move on!? My great aunt comments on several pictures with varying comments all saying "wow now you look big! ... still beautiful" why can't it just be beautiful? Why you gotta tell me how big I look? I know I look big. I dont need your confirmation.
+1 to people being shocked by how far away my due date is. What’s it to you anyway? Yes it’s a long ways away but I’m the miserable one. Not you. It’s like they think they’re making “polite conversation”.
And I know people are just being nice but I’m also a little tired of “congrats, lady!” On what? My hemorrhoids? You’re pretty brave assuming I’m pregnant.
Yup I’m grumpy.