April 2022 Moms

The Great Big Question Thread


Re: The Great Big Question Thread

  • I'm torn on what size bathing suit (and summer clothes) to buy baby: 3-6 months or 6-12? 
    I'm having her as a planned C-section the last week of March... my two boys were off charts in size at birth... she is currently 75th%ile 
    I know no one can know for sure-- but any guesses? 
    She will be 3 months old entering summer at the end of June 
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • @winterviolethope I would buy the smaller one, although with DD I would just get her in the ocean and the pool naked until she was almost a year old lol
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  • @winterviolethope I’m team swim diaper and nothing else at that age!
  • @monstera13 we always put a swim diaper on under a suit... the suit is more there for sun protection-- keeping her arms and body covered since she cant wear sunscreen yet. 

    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • @winterviolethope Ahh gotcha. In that case I’d go for the bigger size!
  • @winterviolethope @monstera13  I was just going to say, if it’s just for sun protection I’d get the bigger size so it lasts longer! Baby girl swimsuits are so cute though!
  • This may be a question for a separate thread, but I thought I’d start here since it’s still early. When do people think they might be comfortable starting a FB group for regular contributors? I’ve loved having mine from DS’s BMB, and I think it’s a lot easier to share things in that private setting as opposed to a public forum that anyone can read. 
  • @monstera13 I do have a Facebook, but I personally don’t use it besides being a part of a few groups and following some business pages. I would feel much more comfortable being in a private group however. I’m sure I would open and check it much more in order to continue participating in this group. For me, since I’m much more comfortable posting in a private group than a public forum, I’d be willing to transfer over any time now!
  • @monstera13 DD3's bmb moved before babies started being born (we were due in June... and I think we moved in April) so that we weren't posting photos of our kids on a public forum. This board is quite a bit quieter, though, to be honest, so it's a little different. Ultimately I would probably move at any point, but it would take me a while to feel comfortable friending, etc. You can lock down privacy settings pretty well on fb in private groups if you take the time to do it.
  • @monstera13

    I like the idea of ultimately moving to Facebook, but I don’t think I would be comfortable doing that yet. This board is so quiet and I agree with doxie that it would take me a long time to feel comfortable. Maybe a private group would be a good next step - would give people a chance to participate more, maybe start different kinds of threads, and engage with one another a bit more. Some weeks it just feels like everyone posts their update and that’s it (and I’m totally aware that I’m writing this not even having participated this week!).
  • @monstera13 I was JUST thinking about this.  My last BMB moved I think when everyone was into their 3rd trimesters, we did a thing where we kinda monitored who was let in based on how much they participated.  Like for instance, some people ONLY posted on HDBD - which was WAY more popular of a thread than it has been with us - so those people weren't let in because literally no one "knew" them.  We had a lot more threads going and it was a lot more active back then though too, so, we felt more at risk to trolls I suppose.  That said, I would be comfortable whenever everyone else is.  I agree that it is way easier to have conversations on there than it is on here.  I've never done a private Bump group, so I'd be fine with that too.
    IAmPregnant Ticker
  • monstera13monstera13 member
    edited January 2022
    Thanks everyone for your thoughts so far! I’m definitely not trying to rush this, just get the convo started. 

    My last BMB did a private bump group for a month or two before doing another move to FB right before birth. IMO, two moves was kind of annoying, and it was mostly the same group of people so kinda pointless. I think the only ones that were in the private group but didn’t move to FB just didn’t have FB accounts and don’t want to make one. 
    *ETA- But if people felt more comfortable doing a private bump group first, I would do that. 

    I agree with others that the group would need to be private. It’s pretty easy to make a group secret (non-searchable) so that people need to a link to join, which the admins could distribute to everyone who was chosen to join. 
  • I've also been wondering about this! My first BMB moved over to a private group really early on because the trolls were running rampant for some reason and the Admins were banning everyone left and right :D . And then right around this time we moved over to FB. I recall this specifically because the birth of DS5 was one of our first posts in the FB group. 

    I am fine going to a private group or FB at this point. On FB I wouldn't friend most of you quite yet until we have more time. But I'm good either way since a group on FB can still be fairly anonymous these days.

    Overall this group has been very quiet, and I'd really love to get to know some of you more! If a private setting helps with that I'm down!<3 
  • I hardly ever use my FB but I’d be happy to see everyone’s faces eventually! I didn’t do a BMB last pregnancy so I don’t know what the usual MO is, maybe the private board would be a good middle ground. There’s maybe like 10 of us that post consistently anyways. 
  • Someone want to throw up a voting poll for group preferences?. I'm fine with what everyone decides. I'd probably be more active on FB because the bump app really sucks on my phone. But I'm cool to go with the majority on this!
  • I’ll put up two polls- one for private group vs straight to FB, and one for timing. 
  • I am so much more active on FB than this app because this app is just another thing for me to open. Plus, since it’s public, I don’t share a ton here. DS3 group we moved a month or so after babies were born. DD1 we moved at like 8 or so months. I would love to move earlier because this app drives me bananas
  • @doxiemoxie212 oh god you just gave me flashbacks to 1 AM feedings with DS and going on FB and chatting with the other moms who were also awake. It was a life saver on those low days
  • @kiwi2628 exactly, like I'm in this bmb probably 90% for the motn threads in April lol
  • Like others, I’m much more active on FB than here (although lately it’s all been a struggle lol). I’m happy to follow the majority and love whenever, but I don’t think it’s worth doing a private group here, since we’re such a quiet board
  • @doxiemoxie212 @kiwi2628 the MOTN chats were the only way I stayed awake while pumping. I absolutely would have fallen asleep during those 😂 I am also looking forward to those!
  • I've never moved to Facebook in a private group before, but I'd be willing to with a small group like this. Last kid it was all just a little too much but now I of course I need to know what these MOTH boards are you speak of. 
  • I’m down for whatever. I would love love to have MOTN support/commiseration buddies once the babies are here. That helped me so incredibly much when I had TB with my first two.
  • AvrilmaiAvrilmai member
    edited January 2022
    like @doxiemoxie212 I'm only on TB when i'm on my desk top and not the app on my phone, the app is rough for me. 

    eta: WHY is TB putting a giant gap after you tag someone...grrr

    TTC#1 10/2016
    TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. 
    BFP finally in 12/2018

    TTC#2 06/2021
    planning FET

    "Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
    some doors are open, some roads are blocked" 

  • @monstera13 Thanks for starting this conversation. I had been thinking about it. I think it would be easier to move somewhere more private, my vote is for Facebook because the formatting is easier but I would be okay with a private bump group too. I just only participate during the weekends when I can use my work computer, and that seems to be when everyone is the most quiet.
  • @Avrilmai I was wondering the same! For a minute I thought you all had agreed to some new format for tagging and messaging that I had missed, lol.
  • I guess this is the place to really be. I always follow the randoms thread but never to the question thread, 3rd time mom and didn’t feel I had to many questions… 

    so I’m not super active on here, but I would be on FB. The bump is hard to read and follow sometimes. Not that my vote or input is as valuable since I am not super commenty any didn’t even know the question thread was the PLACE TO BE! Lol
    ******************** BFP Warning *******************
    I'm 29 and DH is 32 we have a MFI (low count) 
    IVF #1 starting in August. ER 9/5/13 23 eggs we are fertilizing 15. 9 frozen
    ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
    7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
    Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
    Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
    FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
    FET #2 - 3/3/14 - 5AB Blast -- Beta #1 3/12 - 152 -- Beta #2 3/14 - 358
    FET #3 06/09/16 - 5AB Blast - Beta #1 6/18- 245 -- Beta #2 06/20 - 600
     PAIF/SAIF/PAL/SAL welcome!

  • Same here as @FishyMom! I joined this BMB late but was much more active on my first BMB being a FTM. And lol @doxiemoxie212 always gotta peep out everyone's profile pic stickers to really know who we're dealing with here 😉
  • I'm the same as @FishyMom - not super active here. I seem to log in lots when nothing is happening and then have a big break and a lot has been said so it's hard to jump in. I'd likely be more active on FB.
  • Warning, about to get personal here:
    How's the sex going? I'm not talking about arousal/desire, I mean physically - is it going okay?
    Because over the past month I've become so swollen and sore that I cannot hande any penetration (other activity seems to be okay). My doctor tells me that's normal, that all the extra blood and weight and swollen veins cause this. But I swear every article I read about pregnancy sex just says "It's safe! More blood flow means you'll enjoy it more!" Anyone else having the same issue?
  • @emky0704 better than last time. But I've been there. I'm sure some of it was anxiety but also everything was more work and I was generally swollen tired and uninterested. Which did not help. @doxiemoxie212 is usually on these reminding us sex should not hurt and that can be a sign of pelvic floor issues. Never hurts to do some pelvic floor PT. But also I want to say I was like 4 months post partum before I was interested in sex again last time. Probably some combination of hormones, C-section recovery, baby anxiety, the list goes on. When I look back I know why this one was 5 before we got pregnant again. But this time is not like that for me so just remember there is stuff you can do if it's physical pain, mentally it comes around and every pregnancy is different.
  • @emky0704 Everyone has their own normal! Just because it’s safe doesn’t mean it’s always enjoyable. We stopped for a few weeks because of fears of preterm labor and were just recently cleared by my MFM to start again, but when we do have sex it’s maybe once or twice a week, and that has been good enough for me. Maybe if we were having sex more often it would be different. More blood flow and heightened sensitivity means you CAN enjoy it more but doesn’t mean that you WILL. And if you don’t, there’s nothing wrong with you, maybe you just need to take a break to let things settle down in that area for a bit. Forcing it when you’re already swollen and sore is just going to make you more swollen and sore. 
  • @emky0704 yes, and I'm trying to come to terms with it. Penetration also feels unpleasant for me, though I'm not sure everything is swollen for me. I was definitely looking forward to the "more blood flow means you'll enjoy it more" but it hasn't been the case at all for me. Sorry things haven't been good for you either :(
  • @emky0704 yes! Same thing for me, everything seems swollen and somewhat sore down there. My midwife says it is normal due to more blood flow. This in combination of my concern of sex causing spotting has given me zero drive. We went through IVF so my sex life has been almost nothing since April. Hoping things return back to normal after baby arrives.
  • @FishyMom I actually love this comment. We need a nodding and understanding emoji. Perfect feeling almost all the time.
  • @emky0704 Yeah, pretty much the same over here. We try once every week or two, but neither of us has finished in a couple months because it’s been too uncomfortable for me to keep going. But it’s still nice to be close and intimate, so we just enjoy that as much as we can.
    Me: 30 // Hubs: 31
    Married May 2019
    Baby #1 due April 19, 2022
  • Moses basket… Yes or no? We gave our crib and pack ‘n play away a few years ago to our neighbor so we’re starting from square one. We made the mistake of having DD only sleep in her Mamaroo at night, which came back to bite us in the butt when we tried to transition her to her crib in her room, so I’m thinking about other options. I like that the basket is lightweight and portable, and our bed is pretty low so she’ll still be in arm’s reach if I set the basket on the floor. And we’re planning on doing some camping trips next year so it would solve the problem of having baby have their own space in the tent. It just seems like baby would only fit in it for such a short period of time…
  • @aloha_mama how much are Moses baskets? Can you get ones that go on top of a stand or something so its like a bassinet? 

    We have a Pack N Play with all the bells and whistles and I don't think that was more than $150-maybe even closer to $100-and while definitely not as light as a Moses basket, we used it for a lot longer than I assume we'd use the basket. We took it on trips til DS6 was 2 and out of his crib so he could sleep in it. So if they are expensive, I'd still go buying a new Pack n Play, and that might be more like a crib when that transition comes. 

    It doesn't help for camping, I guess-it would take up a lot of space. I'd love to know what camping people do when they have infants. 

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