April 2022 Moms

The Great Big Question Thread


Re: The Great Big Question Thread

  • What self care do you plan on doing before birth or have done before a previous birth? Looking for other ideas and when I was tracking haircut schedule I was trying to time them out so I can get a fresh haircut like the week before my C-section but wondering if I was cutting it too close. I always try to get a pedicure a few days before birth. Sounds so dumb but it feels so great that late in pregnancy and it's nice to have my feet look good for a few weeks when I still can't reach them.

    Work wise, I always block my last day at work as a half day only and use the afternoon to clean out the office, write notes on transfer patients and put my email out of office and change my phone message over. I do the same when I come back and block that morning for no patients just set up appointment with IT to get all my updates done make sure I have my new passwords loaded and move stuff back into office read upcoming patients files etc. It makes coming back less stressful as usually I'm juggling daycare drop off too and that's a hot mess the first week. As in I'm a hot mess.

    What do you like to do? 
  • @rbflei in the past Ive thought about a foot massage-bc I go over and there's a spa here with 60 min reflexology foot massages and they'll only do them if you're past due or real close. I also do a haircut right before but still look a mess, lol. 

    As far as work, despite knowing I'll go over I never work up to due date...this time I'm done the week before.  This allows me relax time with no kiddos and also time to get nursery shit set up that I e neglected. My first pregnancy I didn't know if go over and I just binged Parenthood and did chores, lol. That's some quality self care! 
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  • @rbflei last time I was really just focused on trying anything to induce labor, so I tried reflexology massages, acupuncture, long walks, like anything under the sun. Things like haircuts were actually way too painful for me - sitting up that long was just way way way too hard if they weren't even like .01% chance going to induce labor lol. I think this time I might book stuff like massages and hair cuts for 4-6 weeks after my due date so I have scheduled time to get out of the house and take care of myself AFTER birth.
  • Have anyone's breasts started leaking? This is my first pregnancy. I'm only 22+6 and yesterday, last night and today have been leaking a bit on one side. I didn't expect it to start happening this early on.
  • @constantinabee Not leaking, but I can express colostrum from one side already.  I'm 25 weeks tomorrow.
    IAmPregnant Ticker
  • @constantinabee Totally normal! I started at 18 weeks. 
  • Thanks @shlecks & @aloha_mama for the reassurance.
    Both sides have now leaked. On the right I have also noticed small brown spots (blood?) on the inside of my bra.
    Possibly a dumb question but I don't want to wear a bra to bed. Is there any kind of breast pad or something to prevent the leaking coming through my pajamas? It is only a small amount but a bit embarrassing if I don't notice and get up because I live with my in-laws :/
  • @constantinabee Not a dumb question at all! There are breast pads you can buy if you’re worried, they’re designed to catch leaks when/if you’re breastfeeding so they’ll definitely cover up these little colostrum leaks. They sell them almost everywhere in the baby section, usually by the pump supplies. There are disposable and re-usable kinds, just make sure to switch them out each night to keep everything clean.
  • @constantinabee It can also be normal to have some spots of blood from your nipples, because your blood vessels are growing so much now, but make sure to bring this up with your OB at your next appointment. Colostrum can be a very dark shade sometimes, as well. Don’t try hand expressing at this time because it can cause preterm contractions.
  • @constantinabee I just bought some Knix leak proof tops that I’m SOO excited to try postpartum. I leaked all day and night when I had DD1 and used reusable pads and switched them out when they got too damp like @aloha_mama said, but I did have to wear a bra with them. 
  • @lemonlove86 I got some of those as while back when I was still nursing my second, but they ended up not being big enough in the cup (even the largest size lol)… but they have an awesome return policy, which was nice
  • @lemonlove86 I just bought some disposable breast pads for now but I do see it being a problem if I'm not wearing something more secure under my pajamas because they'll just move. I found a similar brand over here that makes leak proof tops so I'll see how I go and maybe get those down the track. I also bought a couple of haakaa ladybugs which may be useful for this too. All this being said, I haven't had any more leaks in the last couple of days.
  • When is it a good time for baby to meet grandparents? I'm a FTM and considering inviting my vaccinated mom to come visit soon after delivery but not sure when it would be safe and when I might actually feel like having company. 2 weeks? 2 months? What have some of you done or plan to do?
  • @knitkiwi I think it depends on a couple of things and how the answers fit into your comfort level. Are they close, and just coming for an afternoon, or coming to stay for a few days (and if so, where are they staying)? Also, are you generally relaxed around them and are they helpful? So, if they are over, will you have to entertain them/play hostess, or will they get you a glass of water/do the dishes from the meal (not saying they have to clean your whole place, but at least not make extra work)? And of course, will they respect that baby wants to be with you, and not get offended if they only get short periods of holding the baby? 

  • Exactly what @kiwi2628 and @doula-mama said. I’ve found my mom and MIL to be very helpful in the early days. My mom was at all 3 previous births, my MIL ended up being at the first, and then watched the boys at our home during the other two. And then I let them duke it out between themselves what schedule they want, but typically they’ve both taken turns staying with us a couple days. 

    I’m not sure what will happen this time. This is the first time DH will actually have paternity leave so our moms may end up coming later? I think they’ll still want at least a quick visit early on. But they both work hard at being helpful, even things like greeting any visitors that pop up, and helping with meals. I am very spoiled!
  • I fourth what the others said...I told my dad he had to wait a month because he requires hosting and is not helpful. H's family has always met the kid early but bc we go to MIL's to get the kids, and let her come visit at the hospital both times, along with FIL and his grandma, my BIL and FIL. No one can come to the hospital this time but MIL is watching the kids at our own house instead of hers so she'll be in our space immediately and probably be helpful and nesting, so I'll have to let go and let her be here. 

    I def thinks it comes down to how much work it will be for you. 
  • It’s probably redundant, but I agree with what other said. My mom (who lives out of state) came to the birth and stayed with us for about a week after, but she didn’t require any work on my end. Indeed, she told me that she just wanted to take care of the chores and the house so I could heal and spend time with DS, and she did just that (with Grammy cuddles too of course). My ILs require hosting, so they came for a brief visit to meet him but didn’t stay with us (and this was before COVID and having to worry about vaccination statuses). This time, I don’t plan to have any visitors for the first month or so except my mom. 
  • @knitkiwi it really depends on your relationship. My mom will be watching my two older children and she will see us the day we get home (because of covid rules at hospital). 
    With my first, she was there during labor and waited until the baby was born.
    If you are close, I’d imagine she’d expect to
    see the baby asap. But if she’s traveling from out of state - Could be different. 
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • I just had my glucose screen today and the test results are already in. I only have the raw data, but it looks like I'm low in a few areas on my test, and high in another. After some googling, I think it's telling me I'm anemic and have low iron, folic acid, and B-12. It's frustrating because I take a bunch of vitamins to address these needs and eat a primarily high vegetable/lean protein diet. Maybe my body isn't absorbing nutrients well? Trying not to panic... I understand anemia can lead to complications for the baby 😬. Anyone else going through this or have experienced it?
  • @willowhisper First, don’t panic. I was anemic in the last pregnancy and went full term with a healthy baby.

     I’m anemic as well this time. My doc’s advice was to take an iron supplement (ferrous sulfate 325 mg) with a vitamin C supplement to aid in absorption, and to take these at a different time of day from my prenatal. I was also told to avoid taking it with milk or anything else containing calcium. Maybe that will help you too? 
  • @willowhisper sounds like they uploaded the CBC panel. Very normal to be slightly deficient at this point in pregnancy, that's why they run the test, and they'll just recommend different supplements as needed. The glucose portion is literally just one test, just fyi. 
  • Any STM+ with recommendations on budget-friendly convertible booster seats? I’ve been looking around because DD6 is still in her 5-point harness seat, and she won’t max out of it for a while but I think we just need something easier to handle. I can’t afford the most popular seats I’m seeing, especially because we need to buy another infant seat since DD’s expired last year, but of course don’t want to compromise on safety ratings, either. Anything under $200 would be best.  
  • Thanks @monstera13. I got in touch with my doctor and they said my anemia is pretty mild and normal. It's been recommended that I just incorporate more iron rich foods and to contact them if I have any symptoms of extreme anemia, like dizziness, fatigue, headaches, etc. I am a bit of a health nut so I already feel like my diet is pretty good, so the doctors advice was a little annoying. I guess I'll just stay mindful and take it easy. 
  • bluecampanulabluecampanula member
    edited January 2022
    @aloha_mama What is she in now?

    I got an evenflo maestro for DS6 a couple years ago. It’s under 100 and worked as an in between seat (I wanted our nice RF seat for DS4 but he was definitely not ready for a booster). He’s almost 7 now and fairly tall and just this past month I switched him to a backless booster because the maestro was no longer giving a good seatbelt routing. But it had given him good practice at sitting correctly so I’m ok with that. 

    And the seat is light enough that I’m planning to bring it with us when we fly so DS4 can have a harness seat when we arrive. 
  • @aloha_mama My DS isn’t big enough for a booster yet, but I second @bluecampanula ‘s suggestion of the Evenflo brand. That’s what we use, and it’s a great mixture of being more affordable but still safe and well-made. 
  • @bluecampanula She’s in a Britax Marathon, which I love, but it weighs an absolute ton, takes forever to switch to another car, and she can’t get out of it by herself. She’s still under the height and weight limits by quite a bit but DH hates hauling it around and if I can at least have one kid able to get in and out of the car unaided that would be great. Thanks for the recommendation! (You too, @monstera13!)
  • @aloha_mama I bought ours at Walmart for a 5 point harness seat when I realized that DS6 had outgrown the height limit of his convertible a couple years back-like by a lot. I panicked and purchased one at Walmart and it was definitely under 100 and is so light, easy to transfer, etc. I tried to find which one it is for you but without heading out to the car none of the ones on the website are jumping out. I'd say its Safety 1st, Cosco, Graco or Evenflo, all of which are under $100 on the website. It looks like with a cursory glance on Carseats for Littles, the safety and fit ratings are all fine for the brands in the harness state, with a not super favorable booster conversion rating if its a booster that retains its back and the child is closer to 4-looks like the fit was fine for older kids without the harness. The Cosco Finale is $48 and has pretty favorable ratings on CSFL with a harness. I feel like with that price, if you have to buy a backless booster when your kiddo is older, you'll still be under $100 total. 

    All this to say, Walmart has some well rated options that are under $100, lol. I'll look tomorrow and post what seat we have.
  • @aloha_mama the downside of the evenflo maestro is that it’s probably the hardest out of any of our seats for a kid to buckle and unbuckle. I think my son eventually got it. But he was pretty determined to do it himself, especially since he had been able to do it himself in our other seats.  The lower buckle makes a loud click when it’s locked into place, so it’s easy to know if it’s really in, but I’ve found it’s also easy for a kid or new adult to think it’s buckled when it hasn’t actually been pushed all the way in if they don’t know to listen for the click. 

    There’s a lot of things I like about it, but I wouldn’t buy it if hoping my kid would have an easier time with the buckles was my main motivation. 
  • Has anyone here suffered from DVT? I had to go to the ER last night because my left leg was in excruciating pain and started turning purple. They confirmed it's a pretty significant blood clot in my leg and put me on blood thinners which I will have to take twice daily as an injection in my abdomen. I'm still unable to walk and am scared about how this is going to affect my next 3 months of pregnancy and my desire for an unmedicated/intervention free birth in a birthing center. 
  • @willowhisper I haven’t had this happen to me but I’m so sorry!!! I had a medicated hospital birth so I can’t really speak to your birthing situation but I just trusted the experts in the room during delivery and I’m sure your care team will take great care of you!
  • @willowhisper yikes! I have not but so glad they caught it. Hopefully you recover quickly and it won’t have to impact your birth plan too much, although I’d guess there will be more specialized monitoring to ensure it doesn’t happen again.
  • Just got a call from my midwife and she told me I'm now considered a high risk pregnancy and am no longer eligible to deliver at the birthing center. The blood thinners I'm on increase my chances of bleeding to death, so my husband and I are pretty rattled. Doing research on hospitals now.
    Sorry... I know this isn't a question, but more an update. 
    Get your steps in and stay hydrated! Blood clots are awful. 
  • @willowhisper I don’t have personal experience but I can tell you what usually happens! USUALLY when you are on blood thinners, you would call your hospital when you are in labor and let them know you’re on those twice-a-day injections. USUALLY they will advise you to stop taking them at that point. Depending on how your labs look on admission (they will most likely run lab work to see how your blood is clotting) you will be okay to continue everything as normally. If your labs are off they may put you on a heparin IV drip. Your blood thinners may only affect how soon you can get an epidural or spinal anesthesia, but since you want an unmedicated/intervention-free birth this hopefully won’t be a concern for you. I’m so sorry this changes your plans for where you’ll deliver— I’m in the middle of the same for other “high risk” reasons and it’s been hard to let go of my idealized vision. 
  • @willowhisper Really glad you are ok and getting the shots needed. Changing plans can always cause anxiety but hopefully now that you are getting the treatment you need things will go more smoothly even with some changes to you birth plan. 
  • @willowhisper my best friend has a blood clot issue from when we were in high school. She's had 2 kids and what @aloha_mama said is pretty on point with what she had to do. She did a natural birth for both and it was good. She recommends finding a doctor with experience with it all and it'll help you a lot and even though you wanted a birthing center, being in the hospital can give you peace of mind because if there is an issue then they can intervene right away and that helps your chances of leaving healthy and happy.
  • @aloha_mama I would recommend you as Carseats for the Littles (CSFTL) on Facebook because they can give more specific recommendations based on the vehicle(s) you drive, etc. Not every booster/car seat fits well in every vehicle. 
  • @willowhisper ahh I missed the birth center part. Would your midwife be able to go with you to the hospital as an advocate, or at least refer you to an OB who will respect your birth plan (insofar as it isn’t interrupted by heparin, etc)? 
  • @hoosiermamajayden unfortunately I can't bring the midwife with me. However, I did just hire a team of rotating doulas the morning before my medical crisis. They gave me their on call number and said I can call or text whenever I want. They will attend my birth no matter where I go. 
  • Thanks @robbenson, I hadn't thought of it that way. 
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