April 2022 Moms

The Great Big Question Thread


Re: The Great Big Question Thread

  • @Ivorytower2 No experience with the Solly but we lived in Hawaii for the past seven years where it’s hot and humid almost every day, and we used the Boba Air. It’s very lightweight and breathable and usually DD only got sweaty if I was sweating, too. We used it until she was about three years old. My only complaint is that if she was in it for long periods of time she would get marks on the backs of her knees, but we would just tuck a blanket underneath them to prevent it. I think the minimum weight is 15lb though so that may not help you :(
  • @Ivorytower2 I prefer beluga baby wraps and happy baby carriers.
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  • @Ivorytower2 I have a beluga baby and love it for the early days
  • edited January 2022
    @emky0704 wasn’t even a question for us… husband, myself and grandparents all got TDap vaccine. I didn’t request it from family who would visit like once with the baby but if they were to have regular contact, firm yes 

    clarifying that this was for my first baby. I got it for my 2nd but not sure others needed again (can’t remember)
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • Thanks @doxiemoxie212 @doula-mama ! I will check out the beluga! @aloha_mama Thanks I will check it out. I already have a structured carrier that I love but nice to know there is another option that might not be as hot as Ergo. 
  • I had DS5 back when Tula was all the rage so I bought one of those.. I found my tula to be much more comfortable than my Lilebaby and stuck with that one. I got one of their "coast" carriers that has mesh for the back piece where baby is to help keep him cool.

    I'm definitely checking out the Beluga as well! I have the Ktan but I think I'd like the flexibility of wrapping and tying instead.
  • Yall are really sleeping on happy baby carriers. I really cannot reiterate enough how they are the absolute best.  :p 
  • @doxiemoxie212 I’ve been looking at those since you suggested them a while ago but I just don’t know about that $155 price tag! The wraps are beautiful, though… And I’m totally in love with their onbuhimos so maybe I’ll figure out a way to splurge on one.
  • @Ivorytower2 maybe consider a ring sling over a wrap. Way less fabric and so much easier to put on. I had wildbird slings with DD5, but they have kind of turned into a dumpster fire of a company. LoveHeld has been highly recommended to me. 
  • Also, does anyone else feel like their baby will never have a name? We had a short list of 5 first and middle name combos, but looking at it again they a just feel meh. 
  • @meow719 I'm lucky enough to not be in that boat. We figured out the name early on but I don't envy you. It's all I could think about until we decided so I would be stressing if we didn't know yet. I would keep looking at new names, you never know when inspiration will strike
  • @aloha_mama don't get an HBC wrap, they're not nearly as good as beluga baby. You can always sell an HBC for more than you paid. Like, most of my friends have flipped theirs for $300. 
  • @meow719 we were on that train for a long time, but this baby is finally named Elliott. I thought we'd never get here. 
  • @meow719 *if* this baby is a girl, she will most likely come home without a name. And I’m mostly at peace with that. 
  • Still no name here! But I’m not too worried yet…our first didn’t have a name until a couple weeks before she was born! 
  • @doxiemoxie212 Elliott was on our list for a bit, but it got ruled out for a reason I can no longer remember lol.

    We had liked Garrett until DD5 said she liked carrot instead when we told her that name. There is a good chance he will have reddish hair so clearly that is out haha. 
  • I’ve had plenty of patients that couldn’t decide on a baby name until baby was delivered or even afterwards. Hawaiian culture puts a lot of emphasis on a name and many families look to older relatives for permission of a certain name or to have them tell the new parents what the new name will be, often waiting until the last minute. And I have had Orthodox Jews that don’t name their baby officially until their naming ceremony. Nothing wrong with not having a name picked out when you deliver! Hawaii state law requires a birth certificate to be submitted before 5 days of life or you have to pay a fee and visit the county courthouse, but every state is different. 
  • meow719 said:
    Also, does anyone else feel like their baby will never have a name? We had a short list of 5 first and middle name combos, but looking at it again they a just feel meh. 
    This is our 3rd and I feel like at this point in time I had the names picked and things monogrammed already I was so confident. I’m not at all this time around. My husband and kids like a certain name, but it doesn’t feel 100% I I’m telling myself we may just have to wait until the hospital. 
  • @Blondesweety444 @littlestbear03 One of my favorites is watching at the end of Pixar movies for the “production babies” list! 
  • @aloha_mama I am not familiar with this list. What is it?!? All the babies that were born while they were making the movie?
  • @aloha_mama @Blondesweety444 I'm curious too! What is that list?

    But seriously props to all of you who take a chill approach to naming. I'd be too stressed to go to the hospital not knowing but I love when people have cool stories about how/when the name finally came to them and they just knew
  • @knitkiwi that's what happened with DS5....I was reading through the list of actors. I'm pretty sure DH was barely listening to me "John, David, Brandon, Simon...." and then we just looked at each and went "done, that's it!" There was no question in our minds that was his name. 

    This time around it wasn't quite as dramatic. I had a list of names I liked and I told him I had one name in particular that I really liked. When I told him he said I really like that name too. So then we were done! I still feel a bit iffy about the middle name we have picked, but I don't see any other good family name options at the moment.
  • @knitkiwi I get stressed too (and we haven't settled for this one yet either)... last time, we were down to two names and couldn't decide. Finally, it was too stressful so we wrote them on two pieces of paper and let our son pick (he wasn't even 18 months at the time so had no idea what he was doing lol)
  • I was not as chill about it last time. I had a stress dream about having our son before even beginning to talk about names - so that morning I told DH we needed to start talking about names!

    FWIW on not feeling sure about names - I think when you have a baby and give it a name, you love that baby and that name becomes “them” so I think uncertainty will fade.
  •  @aloha_mama that's so cute!! I had no idea they did this!
  • @Blondesweety444 @doula-mama those are both great stories! 

    @aloha_mama wow, I'm going to have to start watching the full credits now. That's so cool!
  • @doxiemoxie212 that is so cool about your mom. What did she do for them? 
  • Anyone have suggestions for questions to ask on a hospital tour if you are having a planned C Section? 
    These are what I have so far (some are related to C-Section and some are general)
    • Are we able to order delivery for meals? 
    • Can spouse leave and come back or does he have to stay once he arrives (covid related)
    • Do you foresee visitor policy changing by end of March if cases stay low? 
    • Guaranteed a private room? 
    • Is there a lactation consultant on site? 
    • How often are they there? Guaranteed a visit? 
    • Delayed bath?  Delayed cord cutting? 
    • Skin to skin immediately following c-section? 
    • Do residents or med students ever observe? Will we be asked permission first ? 
    • Assuming my partner can stay during my csection?
    • What’s the post-operative pain relief offered? 
    • How soon after surgery will baby be available to me to nurse?
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • edited February 2022
    @winterviolethope Thank you for the reminder! Im hoping for a vaginal delivery but saved your questions as a reminder for my tour. It’s been 7 years since I gave birth and this will be a new hospital and I feel pretty clueless and starting over. 
  • @winterviolethope Great list! Maybe ask about the eye gunk they put in their eyes after delivery. It’s optional, but I can’t remember what it’s called. I think it helps with bacteria that may have gotten in the eye. Also any other measures that are taken immediately after delivery as far as meds, supplements, bilirubin tests, and circumcision procedures if that applies to you. I’ve never had a CS, but would think these questions are across the board. 

    Another topic is security measures. Many hospitals have specific measures they take to eliminate kidnappings etc. these would be things like security bracelets matched to baby and DH/SO and electronic tags attached to the umbilical area. Some have alarms that go off if baby crosses the threshold of certain doors. 

    Can DH or SO order food from the hospital? Is there a special meal for delivery that you’ll get, what hours can you order food from the hospital, is there a limit to the food you can order? 

    Will your pedi visit you and baby in the hospital? 

    What is the ratio on a normal day for RNs to mother/baby after baby is born?

    Can you bring a roku or have access to internet TV? 

    What about newborn photos? Does the hospital work with specific photographers for in-room photos? Can/should you bring your own swaddle or outfits? How are these scheduled?



  • @boymom312
    thank you! 
    We just had our tour 
    The eye thing is actually a requirement in our state (I remember from when my sons were born)… well actually it was in NY. I’ll have to check NJ (where I am now) but I had assumed it would be the same. 

    They went over security, newborn photos etc on the tour but those are all good questions- one fun thing is they offer complimentary post-natal massages for mom! Very excited about that and super happy to be out of a city hospital and In the burbs!
    we are guaranteed a private room whereas in NYC they are first come first serve and cost an extra 800/night out of pocket. With both my boys I had to share the first night until one opened up and it was torture! 

    This is our first girl so no worries about circumcision this time but we did have poor experiences with both our boys being circumcised - or almost circumcised - by the doctor on staff at the hospital.
    Both times- three years apart- they missed something wrong with both our boys. One they didn’t circumcise and we luckily later brought him to a pediatric urologist who needed to preform a procedure and circumcise him under anesthesia. The other son did get circumcised at the hospital and they totally missed that he had a mild case of hypospadias. Luckily, we returned to the same urologist who assured us it was way too mild to consider fixing and he’d be totally fine. But, both these things were caught by our pediatrician at home and not at the hospital. 
    So, I highly urge if you get your son circumcised to get it done by a urologist or even a Mohel- they generally do a much better job than the Ob on site per our pediatrician and person experience 

    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • @winterviolethope I’m sorry that you had such poor experiences with the circumcisions of your boys. That must have been both heartbreaking and frustrating. We have 3 boys, this is our first girl. All of my boys were circumcised at the hospital the day after delivery by their pedi. All went well and the results were as expected. Not sure if it makes a difference, but their pedi was older, experienced, and well practiced. We love him and trust him. If we were to have another boy, I’d make the same choices. Nothing against urologists, I’m sure they are amazing, but the part about it being done under anesthesia is where I get nervous. 



  • Especially since you are getting a surgery, I would ask about the staff taking your insurance.  I had an issue where the hospital and doctor took my insurance but some assisstant/helper didn't and they were a part of the csection team and I was billed out of network for them. I was not happy and it wasn't easy to clean up.
  • @boymom312 glad it went smoothly for you guys! We needed to have it done under anesthesia because he had webbing and chordee? But it was a simple out patient procedure and all is perfect now lol. But, if they went ahead with the circumscion in the hospital; it would have had to be a more complicated procedure because they needed the extra skin In surgery and it really bothered me that the hospital didn’t catch it! 
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
  • Heartburn almost all the time. Tums aren't cutting it. Any other suggestions? 
  • @meow719 almond milk has been magic for me. I have a small glass right before bed or whenever I need relief. It could also help to snack on almonds during the day.
    ...Hopefully you don't have a nut allergy!
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