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Re: Randoms (2/1 - 2/29)
I'm a little more apprehensive of how the newborn stage is going to go this time around, mainly because of DD1 being a toddler. She goes to daycare full time during the school year, but her daycare is 45 minutes away from our house, on the work end (not the home end) of our commute. So she'll be home with us for the first couple of weeks. When H goes back to work, he'll take her to daycare, but then he's taking off all of July and so she'll be home with us again. It's just too much of a pain to drive her all the way there, go home, then drive all the way back to get her later and all the way home again.
I also feel a little differently this time around, as I'm sure most STMs do. Pregnancy is a little less magical this time, and I'm more ready to be done and have my body back than I felt at this time with DD1. As much fun as it is to feel the baby kicks and everything, I'd rather have my baby in my arms than keep being pregnant. Obviously I want her to keep cooking as long as possible though.
edit: fix word
I have benefited from reading the responses. As a stm I'm anxious about the 4th trimester and balancing nurturing my toddler (2yr) and bonding with a new baby. I'm so worried my ds is going to feel neglected or replaced. As excited as I am about this baby, I'm equally sad about how it will affect our first and how it will change the dynamis of our family.
Trigger warning
married since October 2015-started trying immediately
dx: PCOS, anovulatory
rx: provera metformin progesterone
*TW*
BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
BFP March 2017 ~ EDD December 13, 2017
di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
*End TW*
BFP Sept.2019
Trigger warning
married since October 2015-started trying immediately
dx: PCOS, anovulatory
rx: provera metformin progesterone
*TW*
BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
BFP March 2017 ~ EDD December 13, 2017
di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
*End TW*
BFP Sept.2019
In other news, I ordered a dress from Rent the Runway for an event this weekend and it was supposed to arrive today. Well I check my email at like 9 PM last night and they sent an email saying my dress was out of stock so they sent another one. Soooo frustrating because I spent forever looking for a bump friendly dress that I actually liked that was available in long.
And omg yes the transition to 4th tri will be a million times better if you have a support system or supportive partner. H made dinner, did laundry, learned how to change diapers, would get up in the middle of the night when DS woke up and give me a chance to get situated before handing him over to bf, made sure I stayed fed and hydrated and went to all the appointments. I was lucky he stayed home 4 weeks last time and he'll do that again this time for sure, it was a lifesaver especially because I don't have helpful family members.
MH is at the vet hospital with our cat now and we just got the results of his ultrasound. There’s some kind of mass in his intestines and a thickening of the intestinal wall. They’re not sure if it’s cancer or just an obstruction that may have perforated slightly. Either way they don’t want to do a biopsy, because there’s a higher risk of perforation which would be very bad. So we’re going to do the recommended surgery to remove that portion of intestines. If it’s a non cancerous mass, then he will be good to go. If it’s cancerous, we will not seek any further treatment and just keep him comfy for as long as he wants to stick around. It’s expensive and I never thought I would be the person to spend thousands of dollars on surgery for a cat, but he’s not even 7 yet and he still has many years left in him if it’s not cancer. If we don’t do anything, he will definitely die in a short timeframe and I just can’t let him wither away if it’s totally fixable.
*I had an abyssinian growing up who was lethargic, wouldn't eat or move, and just looked like the end was near. They discovered an obstruction and did surgery. He had eaten over 30 hair ties... he liked to bat them around and apparently he was also eating them after he finished hunting them. He lived another 10 years after the surgery. I hope you have a similar outcome.
Eta:autocorrect
Just FYI for anyone else with pets it might be worth considering pet insurance. We bought it when we first got our puppy because I would rather spend the $30-$40/month that I won't even miss and know that if anything big comes up we will be covered and not struggling to make a difficult decision based on finances especially knowing that golden retrievers can be prone to cancer and hip issues etc. But also I'm an actuary and a very risk averse person in general so this might not be everyone's cup of tea
So much this. I'm very worried about how the 4th trimester will affect my relationship with DD. I struggle a lot when I don't get enough sleep and DD is in that trying threenager stage so I'm worried that I'm going to lose my patience all the time and hurt our relationship even more than having to share me is going to change it.
To chime in on the rest of the conversation, I didn't love being pregnant the first time, but also really struggled with the 4th trimester. H is a true parenting partner, but I still felt very alone most of the time (probably some unrecognized ppd there). Being across the country from family wasn't horrible (MIL is going to be overwhelming this time now that we're closer), but when they did come visit they weren't very helpful in the ways I expected them to be. We also didn't have much of a support system where we were and the ones that we thought we had dropped off the grid. One of them later told me that she didn't want to be around anyone after her kids were born so she didn't think I would, but I craved human interaction, especially after H went back to work at 6 weeks. Though going back to work at 12 weeks was hard and felt too soon, it was so freeing and helped me feel more like a person and less of an insufficient cow.
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
For pet insurance, I decided to buy it because it will usually cover bigger things like emergency surgery or expensive treatments. I know I'm still paying out of pocket for labs and check-ups, but it would be nice to have the big unexpected stuff covered if it comes up.
I guess if there’s a bright side to not having any geographically close friends is that they can’t get much more distant than they already are. I’m really hoping this baby is helpful for making mom friends nearby.
When I first got Oliver, I was a poor student so pet insurance was not in the budget. By the time I could afford it, I asked our vet at the time about it and he said that Oliver probably wouldn’t qualify because of some minor health history, so I didn’t look into it more. Of course it would be nice to have that now, but oh well. I’m just glad that we are able to afford the surgery and it won’t create a hardship for us.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022