Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Randoms (2/1 - 2/29)
I'm a little more apprehensive of how the newborn stage is going to go this time around, mainly because of DD1 being a toddler. She goes to daycare full time during the school year, but her daycare is 45 minutes away from our house, on the work end (not the home end) of our commute. So she'll be home with us for the first couple of weeks. When H goes back to work, he'll take her to daycare, but then he's taking off all of July and so she'll be home with us again. It's just too much of a pain to drive her all the way there, go home, then drive all the way back to get her later and all the way home again.
I also feel a little differently this time around, as I'm sure most STMs do. Pregnancy is a little less magical this time, and I'm more ready to be done and have my body back than I felt at this time with DD1. As much fun as it is to feel the baby kicks and everything, I'd rather have my baby in my arms than keep being pregnant. Obviously I want her to keep cooking as long as possible though.
edit: fix word
I have benefited from reading the responses. As a stm I'm anxious about the 4th trimester and balancing nurturing my toddler (2yr) and bonding with a new baby. I'm so worried my ds is going to feel neglected or replaced. As excited as I am about this baby, I'm equally sad about how it will affect our first and how it will change the dynamis of our family.
Trigger warning
married since October 2015-started trying immediately
dx: PCOS, anovulatory
rx: provera metformin progesterone
*TW*
BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
BFP March 2017 ~ EDD December 13, 2017
di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
*End TW*
BFP Sept.2019
Trigger warning
married since October 2015-started trying immediately
dx: PCOS, anovulatory
rx: provera metformin progesterone
*TW*
BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
BFP March 2017 ~ EDD December 13, 2017
di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
*End TW*
BFP Sept.2019
In other news, I ordered a dress from Rent the Runway for an event this weekend and it was supposed to arrive today. Well I check my email at like 9 PM last night and they sent an email saying my dress was out of stock so they sent another one. Soooo frustrating because I spent forever looking for a bump friendly dress that I actually liked that was available in long.
And omg yes the transition to 4th tri will be a million times better if you have a support system or supportive partner. H made dinner, did laundry, learned how to change diapers, would get up in the middle of the night when DS woke up and give me a chance to get situated before handing him over to bf, made sure I stayed fed and hydrated and went to all the appointments. I was lucky he stayed home 4 weeks last time and he'll do that again this time for sure, it was a lifesaver especially because I don't have helpful family members.
MH is at the vet hospital with our cat now and we just got the results of his ultrasound. There’s some kind of mass in his intestines and a thickening of the intestinal wall. They’re not sure if it’s cancer or just an obstruction that may have perforated slightly. Either way they don’t want to do a biopsy, because there’s a higher risk of perforation which would be very bad. So we’re going to do the recommended surgery to remove that portion of intestines. If it’s a non cancerous mass, then he will be good to go. If it’s cancerous, we will not seek any further treatment and just keep him comfy for as long as he wants to stick around. It’s expensive and I never thought I would be the person to spend thousands of dollars on surgery for a cat, but he’s not even 7 yet and he still has many years left in him if it’s not cancer. If we don’t do anything, he will definitely die in a short timeframe and I just can’t let him wither away if it’s totally fixable.
*I had an abyssinian growing up who was lethargic, wouldn't eat or move, and just looked like the end was near. They discovered an obstruction and did surgery. He had eaten over 30 hair ties... he liked to bat them around and apparently he was also eating them after he finished hunting them. He lived another 10 years after the surgery. I hope you have a similar outcome.
Eta:autocorrect
Just FYI for anyone else with pets it might be worth considering pet insurance. We bought it when we first got our puppy because I would rather spend the $30-$40/month that I won't even miss and know that if anything big comes up we will be covered and not struggling to make a difficult decision based on finances especially knowing that golden retrievers can be prone to cancer and hip issues etc. But also I'm an actuary and a very risk averse person in general so this might not be everyone's cup of tea
So much this. I'm very worried about how the 4th trimester will affect my relationship with DD. I struggle a lot when I don't get enough sleep and DD is in that trying threenager stage so I'm worried that I'm going to lose my patience all the time and hurt our relationship even more than having to share me is going to change it.
To chime in on the rest of the conversation, I didn't love being pregnant the first time, but also really struggled with the 4th trimester. H is a true parenting partner, but I still felt very alone most of the time (probably some unrecognized ppd there). Being across the country from family wasn't horrible (MIL is going to be overwhelming this time now that we're closer), but when they did come visit they weren't very helpful in the ways I expected them to be. We also didn't have much of a support system where we were and the ones that we thought we had dropped off the grid. One of them later told me that she didn't want to be around anyone after her kids were born so she didn't think I would, but I craved human interaction, especially after H went back to work at 6 weeks. Though going back to work at 12 weeks was hard and felt too soon, it was so freeing and helped me feel more like a person and less of an insufficient cow.
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
For pet insurance, I decided to buy it because it will usually cover bigger things like emergency surgery or expensive treatments. I know I'm still paying out of pocket for labs and check-ups, but it would be nice to have the big unexpected stuff covered if it comes up.
I guess if there’s a bright side to not having any geographically close friends is that they can’t get much more distant than they already are. I’m really hoping this baby is helpful for making mom friends nearby.
When I first got Oliver, I was a poor student so pet insurance was not in the budget. By the time I could afford it, I asked our vet at the time about it and he said that Oliver probably wouldn’t qualify because of some minor health history, so I didn’t look into it more. Of course it would be nice to have that now, but oh well. I’m just glad that we are able to afford the surgery and it won’t create a hardship for us.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022