May 2020 Moms

Randoms (2/1 - 2/29)

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Re: Randoms (2/1 - 2/29)

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  • As someone who had a really easy newborn (knock on wood) the first 3 months were sooo much easier than pregnancy. BUT it definitely got way harder/more exhausting after DS stopped sleeping all the time and I had to go back to work. 
  • @sunshinesea22 I'm with you in being glad this conversation is happening. 
    I have benefited from reading the responses. As a stm I'm anxious about the 4th trimester and balancing nurturing my toddler (2yr) and bonding with a new baby. I'm so worried my ds is going to feel neglected or replaced. As excited as I am about this baby, I'm equally sad about how it will affect our first and how it will change the dynamis of our family. 

    Trigger warning


    me: 28 dh: 34
    married since October 2015-started trying immediately
    dx: PCOS, anovulatory
    rx: provera metformin progesterone
    *TW*
    BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
    1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
    BFP March 2017  ~  EDD December 13, 2017
    di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
    DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
    *End TW*
    BFP Sept.2019


  • @sunshinesea22 I'm so sorry about your cat. It's so hard, pets are like family members for many and it's hard seeing them unwell. It's not like they can tell you exactly what's wrong so you can help them either.:( 

    Trigger warning


    me: 28 dh: 34
    married since October 2015-started trying immediately
    dx: PCOS, anovulatory
    rx: provera metformin progesterone
    *TW*
    BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
    1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
    BFP March 2017  ~  EDD December 13, 2017
    di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
    DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
    *End TW*
    BFP Sept.2019


  • @rachelg777 that's so frustrating! hopefully the dress will be cute and work for you! I've never tried Rent the Runway, but I've heard a lot of great things about it! 
  • @chewie5990 Thanks I hope so too! I've used them a handful of times before and have never had an issue. I will say they do have great customer service. They sent a couple other options (after I called telling them I need a pregnancy friendly dress...) that should arrive tomorrow so fx!
  • @sunshinesea22 we do what we can do for our pets.  Regardless what the mass is, surgery is going to make your cat much more comfortable and provide a better quality of life at this point.  Fingers crossed he makes a full recovery.  I know our vet surgery center also offered payment plans through a third party if necessary, so definitely ask about your options if this is causing you any level of financial stress on top of the emotional stress.
  • ...
    As a stm I'm anxious about the 4th trimester and balancing nurturing my toddler (2yr) and bonding with a new baby. I'm so worried my ds is going to feel neglected or replaced. As excited as I am about this baby, I'm equally sad about how it will affect our first and how it will change the dynamis of our family. 

    So much this. I'm very worried about how the 4th trimester will affect my relationship with DD. I struggle a lot when I don't get enough sleep and DD is in that trying threenager stage so I'm worried that I'm going to lose my patience all the time and hurt our relationship even more than having to share me is going to change it.


    To chime in on the rest of the conversation, I didn't love being pregnant the first time, but also really struggled with the 4th trimester. H is a true parenting partner, but I still felt very alone most of the time (probably some unrecognized ppd there). Being across the country from family wasn't horrible (MIL is going to be overwhelming this time now that we're closer), but when they did come visit they weren't very helpful in the ways I expected them to be. We also didn't have much of a support system where we were and the ones that we thought we had dropped off the grid. One of them later told me that she didn't want to be around anyone after her kids were born so she didn't think I would, but I craved human interaction, especially after H went back to work at 6 weeks. Though going back to work at 12 weeks was hard and felt too soon, it was so freeing and helped me feel more like a person and less of an insufficient cow.
  • @bananapanda Pet insurance is great in theory but it doesn't always work, at least in my experience. My cat goes to the vet alot and it covered her regular appointments and vaccinations which was great. It did not cover all of the tests that we did to figure out why she was sick. So I ended up wasting extra money on the tests plus the monthly pet insurance. That was just my experience, but I know other people had really good experience. 
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
  • @pirateduck I'm definitely struggling with the friend thing right now too. I'm the first of my friends to have children and I really dont think they know how to act. Definitely feels isolating though
  • +1 for the friends dropping off. @randic22 I'm also the first of my friends to have kids and it's been really interesting to see the differences in reaction. I was thinking about a friend the other day and realized that she hasn't reached out to me since I told her I was pregnant in October and it just occurred to me it might be because she doesn't want to talk about baby stuff at all.
    Me: 31 ~ DH: 34 
    FTM
    BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
  • Yeah it's pretty disheartening. I even do my best not to bring up baby stuff unless asked. I find myself wishing one of my friends would just get knocked up so I had a mom friend lol Pretty messed up
  • I couldn’t make a friends Halloween party because it was first trimester and I didn’t feel well enough. I haven’t been invited out with that group since. Not sure if it’s related, but it feels that way. Luckily I do have other groups of friends, but it doesn’t make it feel any better. My friend who has an 18 month old said everyone is excited to see baby when she’s a newborn, but that slowly teeters out too. 
  • The friend situation is hard especially if you are the first to have children. In my experience, a lot of them came back after having their own. I have also been able to keep friends that aren't planning on having children of their own. It just depends...those friends are considered "aunts" and "uncles" because they want a relationship with me and my family. It did take lots of talking through to let them know that I can be a person outside of being a mother and that not everything has to involve my children. So I do get nights out with friends for dinner to just be me for a while. It is nice to have.
  • I feel like friends don't always know if you are feeling up to . hanging out or doing things when you are pregnant/have little ones. After I had DS1 I reached out to people to let them know I am still me and would like to see them but after reaching out once I let it go. 
  • I'm somewhere in the middle. About half of my close friends have kids and the other half do not. Looking back, I still stayed in contact with my friends when they first had kids but I didn't always ask to hang out because I didn't know if they would be up for it. I have/do offered to come over to hang out with them and their kids, but didn't always invite them out. Especially during pregnancy, I just assumed that if they wanted to hang out they would ask. Now that I'm pregnant, most of my friends still keep in touch but I really don't hang out with anyone. Most of that is just our busy schedules and the fact I moved further away. I do have 1 friend, who I've known since childhood, who hasn't reached out much or even offered to see me. Luckily, that's the vibe from most of my friends. 
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
  • @sunshinesea22 I hope surgery goes well and you get good news. But either way I'm sure he'll be feeling much better after getting the blockage taken care of. 

    For pet insurance, I decided to buy it because it will usually cover bigger things like emergency surgery or expensive treatments. I know I'm still paying out of pocket for labs and check-ups, but it would be nice to have the big unexpected stuff covered if it comes up.


  • Also schools are already closing for tomorrow I am waiting to see if DS will be one. I also am debating even if they are open keeping him home based on the roads. There was a district that a bus rolled over in today, luckily no one was hurt but still I would rather he stay home with me then be out on dangerous roads.
  • @mamaj1220 I'd take a snow day tomorrow! But we're not in the thick of it and even this morning every other district delayed but not mine! 😭
  • @jrouge12 we are getting hit starting tonight and then it supposed to get worse throughout the day so I am thinking we might stay home just to be safe. 
  • @sunshinesea22 Glad it was obstruction over tumor. I hope he recovers quickly!
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @sunshinesea22 that's good to hear, and hopefully he is back to himself in no time!
  • It is a blizzard here, we are getting inches by the hour and the DOT has asked everyone to stay off the roads there is a travel ban, but people are still out driving and the main highway through town that connects us to everything else is now blocked and backed up until at least 3 pm because people did not listen. I am annoyed by this because what if someone has a real emergency and now the trucks cant get through! 


  • @mamaj1220 I know this storm is widespread, so I don't know if you're near me or not, but we're in a similar situation, many places have seen over 20 inches of snow in less than 24 hours and it's not stopping anytime soon.  Most major highways are closed indefinitely.  I somewhat foolishly drove to work (probably should have turned around), it took me about an hour instead of 40 minutes.  I was off the last day and a half feeling crappy and had an OB appointment, so I felt like I needed to go in today (and don't want to burn more PTO if I don't have to).  Here's hoping everyone in the storm areas are safe and have heat and electricity etc.!
  • @pirateduck I don't think I am, you are out west right? I am in the Finger Lakes Region of NY. I had to call and cancel my OB appointment for today because I was not driving up there and my boss text me first thing this morning and was like you should work from home so I am staying put and then we are going to try and build a snowman in a little bit since I have flex hours today anyways. Will you be able to get home? 
  • We're having an ice day here in Maine. Schools, daycares, even restaurants and shops are closed. 
    DD #1: April 2017
    DD #2: May 2020
    Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022

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