@TJtheGoat Same! I think I need to send my MIL a “thank you for being sane and respecting boundaries” card!
I’m so sorry so many of you have to deal with crazy or disappointing MILs. I’m astounded by some of the things they’re saying—@harrierwife it sounds like your MIL actually shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a delivery room!
Oh, my MIL caused drama while MH and I were engagement ring shopping. She knew where we were and kept calling him. Eventually on the 5th call he picked up thinking it must be an emergency and she told him that she found out his father was f***ing his office manager.
They stayed together so the invitation could have "Mr and Mrs ______" on it.
I feel bad for the gals with awful MILs! I have a little different relationship with mine -- she's not that much older than me. She had DH when she was 18 and I'm not quite 4 years older than he is, so she's only 15 years older than me -- and she has two younger daughters too, who I have a 15- and 17-year age gap with, so they're more like nieces than sisters-in-law. We weren't all that close before -- she's always been nice, and we get along just fine, but never went out of our way to foster a great relationship. But this summer, DH's younger sister stayed with us for three weeks, the older sister for two weeks, and my MIL for a week (that was one heck of a June) and that actually made a HUGE difference in our relationship. She's been great since then, and especially since I got pregnant.
The ONLY thing that made me just about pick my jaw up off the floor was when I told her about my depression early on, and she told me if I wanted to terminate, I still had time to do that. I know that's a pretty controversial topic so not trying to get into that, but for me that's very very very very much not an option, and hearing that, especially from someone who was encouraged to do the same thing (she was a senior in HS and DH's dad, who she wound up marrying, was a student teacher) and chose not to -- thankfully, or I wouldn't be married to DH -- was super jarring. But I think she was just trying to be understanding, albeit in a WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU SAYING way, and since I shut that down RIGHT away, she's been checking in on me more frequently but not in an overbearing way...more like an older girlfriend (which, I have friends older than she is -- she'll have JUST turned 50 when Baby is born -- who check in on me like that too, so that makes sense).
@ki1244 perhaps she just wanted to show support SHOULD that have been a choice you were considering - maybe it didnt come across that way.
When my brother and his now wife got pregnant with my nephew they were broken up (got engaged broke up then found out they were preggo). I told my brother that he shouldnt get back together with her unless he was doing it for the sake of their actual relationship not because of the baby. He could be a dad to the child regardless.
I am so sorry for all these MIL horror stories. My relationship with mine was fine through my early relationship with my SO, but when wedding planning got into it's final stages we started to see true colors. Now I have horror stories, but they're not baby-related. I'm with @runyogamom though, I set boundaries and express myself so my MIL doesn't come near me. She also has a grandchild already so I don't expect she'll be around much.
Hate to put DH on flame (he really is an angel), but this morning while I was changing he tapped on my belly and said "Look at that baby belly!". Sorry hun, but that's no baby, that's just the three cookies I had last night.
@wearyfuzzball oh mine definitely pointed mine out a few nights ago. No sweetie that’s the pizza we just ate. Also I’m all for a Flame your DH thread. I’m so lucky to have DH but he gets all the eye rolls too!
@ceicket1688@wearyfuzzball I feel bad flaming poor DH, who has been really great, but at every u/s he keeps asking, “Hypothetically, could you tell us the sex from this?” He’s a VERY bad Team Green player.
@Bababatty lol! DH picked a girls name and I picked the boy one so he’s DYING to know who gets to name our first. I can’t team green because of him lol.
When I told my grandma I was pregnant her response was “oh no”. Thanks grandma glad you’re excited 🙄
I also had some who’s first response was “well when is the wedding?” Not a congratulations or a wow, just when is the wedding. Thanks, your disapproval of my lifestyle is overwhelming. Lol
@flutterjen That is awful, I don't know why people assume everyone has the same goals in life on when they want to have kids, get married etc. My family actually had the opposite reaction. When I called them to tell them I was engaged they all thought I was going to tell them I was pregnant 😂
Lol when my husband called my dad to tell him he was proposing to me (not asking for permission because I would have killed DH for doing that...) my dad said good luck with that. I guess he didnt think I was going to say yes to getting married?
Also when we first got together we moved in quickly and then got a dog so we called our parents to tell them they were going to be grandparents. My mom was excited but my dad .... may have stopped breathing all i know is the phone was silent then my mom started talking. I told her to tell him it was a dog not a baby (he was very excited when I told him that I was actually preggers now lol)
DH and I have been happily married for 11 years, recently found out that we are pregnant with our first. When we've told his friends, the most common question is "Do you know who the father is?" (Even his grandfather!) I know they're joking, but what the hell? Who asks that?? We haven't told the rest of his family yet, but now I'm kind of dreading it especially knowing how nosy my MIL is and crazy the rest of the family are.
I got one! It wasn’t that bad but it was definitely situationally funny at least to me so I wanted to share.
Mini backgroud: I occasionally give the teenage neighbors (like 11-14) a ride places, like Walmart or the movie.
So I was driving one of the neighbors and a new friend of hers I hadn’t met before home. I called my husband to make sure he had put on the potatoes for dinner, and my phone said calling “Hubby’s Name”. So the neighbor asked if I was “My Name, Hubby Last Name” and I said yeah. She said, “Oh you got married!” And I said, “Yeah, we’ve been married for almost 3 years.” And then the girl in the back (who I literally just met today) blurts out, “Is he the one who got you pregnant?”
Uh, yeah. My husband got me pregnant.
It didnt even offend me, I just started laughing at the absurdity of the situation and question.
(Btw, I know even on here just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you’re married to or even together with the father, and in no way do I mean this to be judgemental of anyone . Just sharing a funny story from my perspective)
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
So we announced on Facebook on Friday. This girl posted something like “congratulations! I didn’t know you were trying to have a baby.” Yeah lady, that’s because you’re my friends older sister who I have never been close with and haven’t seen for 10 years. *eyeroll* I know the subtext is “you’re not married”. She’s very judgmental and very religious.
Edit: becuase for some reason my phone refuses to spell because correctly. Now it’s making me doubt myself
I was pumping gas at Costco on Saturday and some random old dude hops out of the truck at the pump behind mine. He looks at his belly, looks at mine and then goes "So, you eat too many beans too?!"...I was just like "uhh haha, no, not the case here" and he responds "well either way, we both have too much gas!" and laughs to himself.
It was still pretty early in the pregnancy when my husband and I went to a friendsgiving. I went out to a bar with this same group of friends several weeks before and ordered water. Well, at the party I was just drinking water, and the host's wife pulls me and my SIL (who DID NOT KNOW I WAS PREGNANT!) aside and starts BAWLING about how happy she is for me and my husband. I'm looking at SIL like, "WTF is happening?" She looks equally as mortified.
I didn't confirm anything, but when the wife asked how our parents reacted, I coldly replied, "We haven't told them yet." Instead of taking the hint and shutting up, she started gushing about how happy they will be to find out.
I don't know who was more upset, me or my SIL who did not want to find out about her first niece/nephew this way.
TL:DR - I was drinking water at a party and friend's wife started crying about how happy she was for me and my husband, in front of my SIL before we told ANYONE.
Its finally happened. A weird encounter this pregnancy. It happened with the school janitor, who was moved to night duty for creeping all the teachers out but came to help with the craft fair my students were working.
Janitor: *2 in from my face* “Are you going to be a mommy?”
Me: “Uh... yes. Well, again. I have a daughter already.”
Janitor: “It’s a girl.”
Me: “Oh...”
Janitor: “I will have more information about the baby for you after Christmas break.”
Me: “Oh?”
Janitor: “Don’t tell me anything else about the baby.”
Not really inappropriate but definelty annoying - my step mom this morning told me I shouldn’t be wearing jeans anymore and I’m crushing the baby. She has been making comments along the way since we told her the news. Mostly I find them annoying because she’s never been pregnant but speaks very matter of fact on the topic
@cricket1688 ugh. My step mother in law is the same way. Never been pregnant (can’t actually), never even had babies (got DH around 5) and yet thinks she is some baby expert. Obviously she could know some stuff, but everything she spouts off is total nonsense. I feel ya.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@tuxielove93 yes this is exactly like my step mom. It’s tough. She also believes everything she sees on tv and doles our advice that’s voodoo nonsense. Oyy family. Just practicing deep breaths over here
@carleym93 LMAO okay, did you ever see 17 Again with Zac Efron? There’s a janitor on there who does the voodoo go back in time magic. Maybe the same is happening for you! Like, not going back in time but forecasting the future lol lol lol
So this isn't really inappropriate but getting irritating at this point. So many people commenting "oh hopefully it's a boy" about the baby b/c we have a girl already. I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT!!!!!! Yes it would be neat to have 1 of each gender but it would also be neat to have 2 little girls. Also irritating (or maybe I am just over bitchy this week), we had a celebration of life this past Sunday and told the rest of our family that came that we were expecting another baby. Everyone was happy but alot of people asked if it was planned. What does that matter????
To be honest maybe I am just being a sensitive bitch mess this week.....I kind of feel like one but I am tired of people's commentary. Just say congrats and leave it at that. Stop with the gender comments or the planned/unplanned debate. AHHHH!!!
@BlondePeanut I can’t believe it but I haven’t gotten that yet. People have asked if I have a feeling either way, but no one has said “on it better be a girl since you have a boy!” I also could not care less either way. I probably won’t hold back much if people do say something like that to me.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@canuckbaby I had trouble losing weight after I had my 2nd baby several years ago and in addition I have abdominal separation and a tendency to have a "food bloat" due to some sensitivities that I haven't figured out yet. So back then I had a really big belly but it was never consistently big and I was still only overweight. Yet people asked if I were pregnant all the time. It didn't bother me so much except that one of my classmates in grad school would keep asking every week. Sometimes she would ask again when I say no, I'm not pregnant. I mean I understand, at times I felt like I waddled like I did when pregnant but my abdominal issues in addition to back pain, sure, I might look like I could be pregnant but I just don't understand the persistence. If I say no I'm not pregnant then just drop it. She was my classmate for a whole year and obviously my abdomen was consistently the same size... if I were pregnant it wouldn't be, not for a whole year. It really pissed me off. I felt very weird about my body when I was in grad school due to these comments and I felt loads better when I was done.
Called for NIPT results today. Doc has to review them first before nurse is allowed to give details. But when she realised I was 'only' 12.5 weeks, she said it was far too early for me to be finding out sex yet and I didn't need to know right away anyway. -.- She should have just left it at 'Oh doc hasn't seen it yet and I cant legally give you results'.
I’ve been trying to really watch what I say to my close gf who just gave birth and make sure I sound supportive etc. it’s hard BC we moms/mom 2 be seem to have heightened sensitivity. Some stuff is beyond rude pregnant or not. But I’ve caught myself getting worked up over some stuff that never would have bugged me before! It’s such a hard balance. That being said, my dad yesterday told me DH and I should cut back on the travel now and also we should get rid of our dogs BC they will eat the baby. Like listen old timer, we’re traveling as much as we can before our first kid arrives and dogs and children have been living together since the dawn of time.
@cricket1688 I know what you mean. I"m getting salty and spicy over the smallest things. The colleague at work who knows is keeping me in line by changing conversations or letting me know to shut it with a quick kick, nudge or question. The comment about the dogs is also annoying. You and your partner know how your dogs will react. And they're going to be the best of friends.
@011sammie017 I’m learning to just say “thanks for the advice” and they can take it how they want but I find it shuts down the conversation. “I’ll takw that into consideration” is another goodie
@cricket1688 we get comments a lot because we didn't stop traveling. We usually do about one big trip a year (some sort of international with smaller camping/domestic trips throughout the year) but everyone told us we would have to stop because of DS. Nope. He is awesome and is totally adaptable and loves traveling. We motified this year mostly because I've had some health stuff come up beyond pregnancy and people are like see we told you, no if I weren't sick we would 100% still go somewhere international.
Re: Innappropriate Comments/Questions Thread
I’m so sorry so many of you have to deal with crazy or disappointing MILs. I’m astounded by some of the things they’re saying—@harrierwife it sounds like your MIL actually shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a delivery room!
They stayed together so the invitation could have "Mr and Mrs ______" on it.
Its been a wild ride.
The ONLY thing that made me just about pick my jaw up off the floor was when I told her about my depression early on, and she told me if I wanted to terminate, I still had time to do that. I know that's a pretty controversial topic so not trying to get into that, but for me that's very very very very much not an option, and hearing that, especially from someone who was encouraged to do the same thing (she was a senior in HS and DH's dad, who she wound up marrying, was a student teacher) and chose not to -- thankfully, or I wouldn't be married to DH -- was super jarring. But I think she was just trying to be understanding, albeit in a WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU SAYING way, and since I shut that down RIGHT away, she's been checking in on me more frequently but not in an overbearing way...more like an older girlfriend (which, I have friends older than she is -- she'll have JUST turned 50 when Baby is born -- who check in on me like that too, so that makes sense).
@ki1244 perhaps she just wanted to show support SHOULD that have been a choice you were considering - maybe it didnt come across that way.
When my brother and his now wife got pregnant with my nephew they were broken up (got engaged broke up then found out they were preggo). I told my brother that he shouldnt get back together with her unless he was doing it for the sake of their actual relationship not because of the baby. He could be a dad to the child regardless.
I also had some who’s first response was “well when is the wedding?” Not a congratulations or a wow, just when is the wedding. Thanks, your disapproval of my lifestyle is overwhelming. Lol
Also when we first got together we moved in quickly and then got a dog so we called our parents to tell them they were going to be grandparents. My mom was excited but my dad .... may have stopped breathing all i know is the phone was silent then my mom started talking. I told her to tell him it was a dog not a baby (he was very excited when I told him that I was actually preggers now lol)
We haven't told the rest of his family yet, but now I'm kind of dreading it especially knowing how nosy my MIL is and crazy the rest of the family are.
Mini backgroud: I occasionally give the teenage neighbors (like 11-14) a ride places, like Walmart or the movie.
So I was driving one of the neighbors and a new friend of hers I hadn’t met before home. I called my husband to make sure he had put on the potatoes for dinner, and my phone said calling “Hubby’s Name”. So the neighbor asked if I was “My Name, Hubby Last Name” and I said yeah. She said, “Oh you got married!” And I said, “Yeah, we’ve been married for almost 3 years.” And then the girl in the back (who I literally just met today) blurts out, “Is he the one who got you pregnant?”
Uh, yeah. My husband got me pregnant.
It didnt even offend me, I just started laughing at the absurdity of the situation and question.
(Btw, I know even on here just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you’re married to or even together with the father, and in no way do I mean this to be judgemental
of anyone
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Edit: becuase for some reason my phone refuses to spell because correctly. Now it’s making me doubt myself
I was pumping gas at Costco on Saturday and some random old dude hops out of the truck at the pump behind mine. He looks at his belly, looks at mine and then goes "So, you eat too many beans too?!"...I was just like "uhh haha, no, not the case here" and he responds "well either way, we both have too much gas!" and laughs to himself.
So weird. So uncomfortable.
I didn't confirm anything, but when the wife asked how our parents reacted, I coldly replied, "We haven't told them yet." Instead of taking the hint and shutting up, she started gushing about how happy they will be to find out.
I don't know who was more upset, me or my SIL who did not want to find out about her first niece/nephew this way.
TL:DR - I was drinking water at a party and friend's wife started crying about how happy she was for me and my husband, in front of my SIL before we told ANYONE.
Janitor: *2 in from my face* “Are you going to be a mommy?”
Me: “Uh... yes. Well, again. I have a daughter already.”
Janitor: “It’s a girl.”
Me: “Oh...”
Janitor: “I will have more information about the baby for you after Christmas break.”
Me: “Oh?”
Janitor: “Don’t tell me anything else about the baby.”
Then he just walked away. WTAF
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
To be honest maybe I am just being a sensitive bitch mess this week.....I kind of feel like one but I am tired of people's commentary. Just say congrats and leave it at that. Stop with the gender comments or the planned/unplanned debate. AHHHH!!!
Ok I'm done now lol
@cricket1688 that’s insane. Your step mom is ridiculous!
I also could not care less either way. I probably won’t hold back much if people do say something like that to me.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
-.-
She should have just left it at 'Oh doc hasn't seen it yet and I cant legally give you results'.
I know what you mean. I"m getting salty and spicy over the smallest things. The colleague at work who knows is keeping me in line by changing conversations or letting me know to shut it with a quick kick, nudge or question.
The comment about the dogs is also annoying. You and your partner know how your dogs will react. And they're going to be the best of friends.