June 2019 Moms

Innappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

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Re: Innappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

  • @stardustdreams my coworker for 4 years slways asked whenever i was sick if i was pregnant.... then i passed out on her at work this summer which had her worried but also made her dial back asking if I was pregnant. She stopped asking just in time for me to be pregnant lol

    People are dumb tho like in your case where obviously it wasnt the case.
    wendyann19
  • @dntstpbelieveing  this is amazing to see, gives me hope that we can still travel as we like just with some adjustment!
    dntstpbelieveing
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  • @canuckbaby I don't know why people feel like they can be so comfortable to ask! I personally don't feel comfortable asking people if they're pregnant. I also don't notice and wouldn't keep it in my mind unless the person actually says something. This is why if I talk to someone that I don't mind knowing I bring it up in the context of the conversation, but if no... then I don't feel people should ask! 

    @dntstpbelieveing I think it's awesome that you haven't stopped traveling. I also traveled around once a year with my kids. First with my DD when she was 8 months old and then the year after that with my DD as a toddler and DS as a 4 month old. I'm not going to lie and say it was a breeze but it was well worth it. I didn't get many opportunities to travel in the past so I'm going to jump on and take them as they come. I'm sorry health concerns came up and you had to postpone travel. I hope things improve for you soon.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    canuckbaby
  • @stardustdreams it is definitely an adjustment traveling with DS! But I would never say it isnt possible/worth it. I am hoping in the next couple years we will get back to international travel but for now we have bought an RV and will be touring the US for vacations! 
    harrierwifeki1244
  • WHY DO I KEEP COMING BACK IN HERE

    Y'all have convinced me to keep the news off Facebook/social media entirely. JHC. 

    I have really, really thick skin, but I cannot stand people poking their noses into my business. Sheesh. 
    battleangelki1244
  • @harrierwife I’m strongly considering not saying a thing. Just seeing people and them being like “OMG WHAT?”
    harrierwife
  • @battleangel Thanks to not living near any family, I seriosuly
    considered not telling them until
    the baby was born. Just send them a photo of me with a new baby 🤣 They aren’t all that bad really, I just think it would be a heck of a thing to pull off. 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    R born: July 8th, 2017
    N born: June 30th, 2019
    Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
    (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
    011sammie017canuckbaby
  • OMG because two wasn't enough...take a long walk off a short dock
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 



    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    cricket1688
  • @battleangel our friends eloped with us as witnesses in vegas. Best wedding ever. My parents assumed if my husband and i got married we would just show up from one of our trips married lol. We did the destination thing. I have a huge family that would all expect to come should we have it locally. It was easier/cheaper and i honeymooned with my parents LOL

    Also we are beating the jets right now lol
  • @battleangel You are not alone!! We got married by ourselves, since it's possible in our jurisdiction for one of the to-be-spouses to also be the officiant. The courthouse gave us all the paperwork and we signed it paper one beautiful morning on a rooftop patio over coffee and eggs. We then had a party for 50 people later that evening. My mother to this day doubts that we ever signed anything, despite having a scanned copy of the certificate.

    @canuckbaby ahem, i thought Winnipeg won tonight? :D

    battleangelTJtheGoat
  • @canuckbaby lol!!!! My honey is DANCING but he’s so mad it went to OT lol. He’s gonna flip his lid when we play the Jets. The Kings are his secondary team. 
  • @marijaa333 we were up and at least we got a point @battleangel lol i have lots of jets on my hockey pool so its a small win for me there regardless lol hello laine

    Also love the roof top patio

    We legally got married on a Sunday morning with some family with a JP at my DH grandmas nursing home with a church service next door singing hymns lol. 
    marijaa333
  • My husband received a book this weekend called “Pregnancy Sucks for MEN: what to do when your miracle makes you BOTH miserable” from the same friend who kept telling him I was going to go off the deep end during my pregnancy. It was all I could do to not start crying right there in front of the friend and prove him right. 

    I’m very sensitive about my mental health and how I treat others when I’m having a bad time (always have been), but honestly I’ve been okay. I haven’t been sad or stressed or anything (anything not medical) and he keeps implying that both DH and I are lying when we say so. 
    harrierwifeki1244
  • My husband received a book this weekend called “Pregnancy Sucks for MEN: what to do when your miracle makes you BOTH miserable” from the same friend who kept telling him I was going to go off the deep end during my pregnancy. It was all I could do to not start crying right there in front of the friend and prove him right. 

    I’m very sensitive about my mental health and how I treat others when I’m having a bad time (always have been), but honestly I’ve been okay. I haven’t been sad or stressed or anything (anything not medical) and he keeps implying that both DH and I are lying when we say so. 
    That is just RUDE IMO. Would your husband be receptive to taking to this friend? It sounds like boundaries need to be set with this individual and their opinions.  
    cricket1688harrierwife
  • @battleangel - No. No no no no no. 

    MH has a friend that is feeding him that sort of BS, too. "They go crazy man, just wait...." Frankly, this friend's wife was crazy before she got pregnant. She also recently took out a 10k loan at 18% interest in her husband's name and still refuses to tell him what the money was for but that's another story....

    I agree with @ohheyitsb - I think boundaries need to be set - or at least have a few words with YH? That toxicity doesn't belong in your marriage OR your pregnancy. 
    ohheyitsbantera23marijaa333
  • Oh hell no @battleangel that kind of book can go straight to the trash along with that kind of negativity surrounding women and pregnancy. I feel bad for that dudes wife if he's married. That's plain disrespectful. And makes me angry for you. 
    antera23
  • @battleangel that makes me ragey for you. there is no place for that especially since it sounds like he's just refusing to drop the subject.
  • DH has already told this friend that we really don’t need it because I’m a happy, well adjusted, easy to communicate with woman but he still shoved it in his hands. DH is going to see this friend again this week and tell him (without their wives) that it wasn’t okay to assume my pregnancy is like his wife’s or that we are not handling our problems and the information he needs about the baby well. He reads and researches on his own and compares notes with me. 

    I read some of the book on good reads to be sure I wasn’t judging it by the rude cover, and it seemed so off-putting, like no man would ever want to have a pregnant partner. It made me really sad to think I ruined his life by us starting our family. 
    antera23harrierwife
  • “I noticed you aren’t drinking, is it for a good reason?” Wink wink nudge nudge take a walk in traffic and mind your damn business. 
    dntstpbelieveingvv826
  • @battleangel What a horrible book! I don’t know why anyone would write something that wants to sow division between partners during pregnancy. It seems like exactly the opposite of what you should do—and the opposite of what most pregnancy books do. I’m sorry YH’s friend is so unsupportive, and really judgemental. I also put the blame on whoever thought it was a good idea to publish that book in anything other than a tongue-in-cheek manner. Ugh!
  • @battleangel if only the morons who thought that book was useful would follow its premise and not reproduce...
    TJtheGoatbattleangel
  • Hi everyone! I had expected this thread to be bumped to the top of the forum with all the family gatherings this week, but hopefully that means you ladies didn't have to encounter anything too awkward/inappropriate! 

    DH and I are expecting our 1st, a baby girl, due 6/3/19. I was hoping my first post wouldn't be in a thread like this, but what do ya know!
    So just a little background...DH were incredibly lucky and are so grateful to have conceived after our 1st try. My SIL however has not been so lucky and has struggled with IF for quite some time. Therefore, we have been very careful to be sensitive to her situation and really downplay our excitement/avoid talking about it excessively when she's around. My MIL on the other hand...let's just say this will be her 1st grandchild and she wants the world to know! 
    So during Christmas dinner yesterday, my MIL says to SIL's stepkids, "do you guys know what she's carrying in that baby bump?" (We just found out the gender last week) and the 12 yo stepdaughter snarkily replies "cancer?" 
    Ummmmm....excuse me?!?!? Who says something like that?! But then worst of all, my SIL LAUGHED! The pure shock and pain from such an insensitive comment and reaction brought me to tears and I had to take a few minutes collecting myself in the bathroom before I could face them again. I truly hope none of you have to experience anything like that!! 
  • @love2teach1st Omg. I mean kids say crazy things, but laughing was kind of mean. That definitely would have upset me too. I’m sorry. I hope she just laughed from absurdity and not anything more malicious than that 

    It finally happened! I got a “if you have a girl you’ll have a perfect family and be done!” Comment. Insert dramatic eye roll. I would be THRILLED to have two boys, or a boy and girl, or whatever. Really doesn’t matter, and isn’t going to have a bearing on having future kids (my sanity levels with 2 will be the decider on that thank you very much). 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    R born: July 8th, 2017
    N born: June 30th, 2019
    Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
    (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
    love2teach1st
  • @love2teach1st That's awful!

    We announced to my family and my ILs. I expected some rough comments, but the worse I got was during a conversation about my MS. I mentioned that I have not been able to drink coffee and my husbands aunt said "Good, because that's really bad for the baby". This is the same aunt who laughed when I said I wasn't having red wine for dinner, because "not drinking during pregnancy is not necessary". 🤦‍♀️
    harrierwife
  • I had my first unappreciated comment so far this pregnancy. It was from this lady who is my MIL’s, cousin’s mom (ha did you follow that?). She said “Oh honey, you barely look pregnant. You’re probably like me and you just gain wait all over!” UGH so I don’t look pregnant because I just look generally fatter!?!?? I got out something that was like “oh you know, it’s just a little uncomfortable getting bigger.” Then, to make it worse, she said “Oh that’s probably because you used to be so thin before!”  Ahhhhhhhh! It was particularly hard because I have felt very self conscious about gaining the weight and I struggle with not feeling like I look good and having no control over it. I had to walk away because I almost started sobbing. I told my H about it later and I just started bawling my eyes out saying I’m just gross and disgusting. I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but it just hit on probably the most sensitive thing for me right now. I have a hard time telling myself that I look beautiful and this just really made me feel terrible. 

    It wasn’t as judgmental or cruel as the thing some of you other ladies have encountered but it was the most upsetting thing I’ve personally experienced so far
  • @love2teach1st kids say insensitive things sometimes without knowing but at 12 that little beat knew what she was saying. I’m sorry that happened. 
    love2teach1st
  • @love2teach1st I agree with @battleangel at 12 years old you know what you are saying but also had my 12 year old been the little s*** that said it she would have at the very least gotten an earful. I'm sorry you had to go through it!

    @chrssyms I'm sorry, those type of comments are so unnecessary. whether you gain 100 or 5 it is nobody's business but by what I saw in your bump pic you are rocking this pregnancy!
    love2teach1stchrssyms
  • ki1244ki1244 member
    edited December 2018
    @chrssyms wait, what? Was she talking about someone else? I just looked at your bump pic and you look fantastic. If that's after weight GAIN, I need to put down the Christmas cookies. Screw her.
    vv826chrssyms011sammie017
  • @ki1244, @vv826 and @ohheyitsb. Thanks ladies! Yeah I think my terrible 1st trimester MS preventing me from working out which just always makes me psychologically a little bit grosser with myself. Thanks for the support!!

    i agree it really isn’t anyone’s business how much weight you have gained or lost probably ever - even pregnant! People probably should just stick to “You look great!” Haha even if it’s not quite true 😂
    chachacharrrmin
  • My FIL called my belly a "puppy pouch" on Christmas morning. WTF is a puppy pouch?! 
  • My MIL said "oh my God how are you going to take care of it??"  we own both our cars and our house, completely paid off, and we both work. I guess we'll take care of it just fine thankyouverymuch.
    catmommac
  • @knottie7060b4b33a84ac43 I hate people calling your unborn baby “it”!!! 

    Also: please change your UN to something other than “knottieAlphabetSoup” so we can know who you are :)
    ki1244catmommac
  • @love2teach1st
    gobsmacked. Not sure what would be deemed as an inappropriate word on TB but I have some choice ones in mind for that child.
    love2teach1st
  • I am very skinny, I always have been. I run and eat healthy. I know my body and don't eat for comfort. So by today's standards I am very skinny.

    My sister (who is all sorts of evil) said at Christmas that I was anorexic and was harming the baby.

    As someone who has struggled with feeling beautiful and always teased for my weight it is really hard to hear that. I have never had an eating disorder but I have known people who have and it just isn't something you joke around with.
  • ohheyitsb said:
    The same person also asked how much weight I've gained and I simply said "enough" and then asked her how much she's gained. She's not pregnant. 

    cricket1688
  • @amaren-2 I'm so sorry your sister said that to you. I wish people would learn that it is NEVER appropriate to comment on someone else's weight. 
    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    TJtheGoat
  • jhems776jhems776 member
    edited January 2019
    Not sure this really is or it goes here. I should have stepped in and stopped this but now it's been going on a while. My parents and now my dad's side of the family are calling this baby Little "First letter of DS's name". Like this baby needs an identity outside his brother and I don't know if I'm going to have a name the first letter of DS's name (sib sets with the same first letter are kind of a thing on that side). Ugh, I really should have stepped in, mom guilt now. 
  • @amaren-2 that is an awful thing for your sister to say to you. I’m sorry you had to hear that. 
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