Oh no @cmjenkies I am so sorry. Sending you all the e-hugs, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, especially having to deal with it while pregnant! I can’t believe he won’t even give councelling a shot! I hope you have friends and family who can help out.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Omg. @cmjenkies I am so sorry. I can’t inagine what you are dealing with right now. As a fellow TTM, I would absolutely broken if DH came and said that to me NOW. And to not give any real reasons? That just doesn’t make any sense! I’m so so sorry.
I’m just catching up as best as I can. DS is feeling better, but now DD and I have some kind of gastro issue going on. I’m letting Octonauts take the lead for a few mins so I can try and take my mind off of it.
@megpants209 This is like 2 pages late, but I sent DH home with DD and our dog when I had DS. He came up everyday with DD until we came home, but I didn’t see having DD’s life uprooted for a few days. Her life had been uprooted enough. We are lucky, though. Our hospital recommends rooming-in, but they’ll help as much as I need them to. I utilized the nursery when necessary.
Holy shit @cmjenkies... I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I hope for your sake he comes to his senses and at least agrees to some counseling, for clarity if nothing else. If it's truly out of the blue, could there be some kind health problem underlying it? 11 years (and everything that came with those years) is a lot to suddenly turn your back on.
@cmjenkies I'm saying tons of fucks right now on your behalf. The timing for this is absolutely shitty. Please vent as much as you need to here. You know that we support you and that we're all sending good vibes and hugs your way. I hope that he might get to a point where he agrees to counseling, and that counseling might help sort out whatever is going on, but if that doesn't happen, I hope that you have a very good support system, and that you're both able to work out a good system to co-parent. No matter what happens, you are and will continue to be a great parent.
@cmjenkies wow I’m so sorry to hear that. As you described it seems so sudden and out of the blue. I couldnt imagine how you feel and I’m sending you lots of hugs and a ton of crotch kicks to him. Wtf. Like PP have said, is he going through a stressful time? I cant believe he would just give up without trying counselling or anything. But just know you have all of us as support and you will be kick ass at the newborn stage regardless if hes there or not.
@ThePax89 We discussed it a week or two ago in some thread. Here are the meeting minutes (LOL): The general feel was that we will at some point, but probably late in the third trimester just so we can get to know everyone well first. Everyone agreed that the Bump app sucks.
@ThePax89- slight addendum that there are several of us who are not on FB, and we're gonna have to say bye or decide whether to create nom de plume FB accounts to stay connected! (I'm plotting hot fake names for this purpose ;p)
@cmjenkies I seriously cannot fathom how he can do that to you - to just wipe his hands of your relationship like that is truly unbelievable. Since it seems he is not willing to give counseling a try or to try and work everything out, I would at least try to have the convo with him about being a father to his children and needing to be there to help you with this new LO as well. That AT LEAST he can do. Has he said anything of the sort? Unbelievable!
Holy fuck, @cmjenkies. I am so fucking sorry. To just call it like that isn't fair to you or your family. He's being a selfish dick. I would kick his ass if I was closer.
@cmjenkies , that is entirely so shitty. Don't give up just yet! If he isn't open to counselling, he still owes you an explanation, either he's seriously ill (mental health/stress, etc) or he's not telling you something. No one just up and walks away for no reason with 11 years and 2+1 on the way.
@cmjenkies I’m so sorry you are going through this. It is just not fair to you or your kids. You do not need this right now. That is absolutely so shitty. Please keep sharing with us so we can support you. I agree with @cass06_07, he still owes you an explanation even if he doesn’t want to do counseling.
@ThePax89 - Yes to FB. I’ve been stalking out the BMB’s preceding ours and it looks like December just made the move so maybe around Thanksgiving we should start to consider the process for the move, get some Admins/ Mods in place, set some ground rules, etc.
@sjnsjnsjn - I’m going to need you to not say bye and come play on FB. I’ll be sad if we loose some of you Facebook-less folks!!
@cmjenkies I’m so incredibly sorry that this is happening to you. What your DH is doing to you and the kids is not okay! He definitely should tell you something.
@cmjenkies Holy sh!t- I’m so sorry you’re going thru this right now... Glad you have a safe space here to talk about it. He is completely off base to think this is a) an appropriate time to be making what sounds like a rash decision and b) adding such stress while you’re carrying his child.
@cmjenkies jeez Louise that is ridiculous! Is he just having some sort of selfishness crisis? Is he open to therapy? I’m so sorry he dropped this on you and that you have another stress during pregnancy
@cmjenkies I'm so sorry you're going through this. I, albeit under different circumstances, was pregnant and had dd1 alone. I didn't have other children to take care of at the time, but going through the newborn stages alone has it's challenges, but a lot of it had to do with her being my first child. You have conquered 2 newborn phases already! You have so many tools in your toolbox that will help you power through and rock this on your own. Will there be tough times? Yes, but you can do it and it'll be better than being stuck in a marriage with someone who has given up and coule end up being toxic to you and your family.
Our RainbowBaby H arrived at 37 weeks on 12/20/16!
Baby E arrived at 37 weeks on 01/31/15!
Married my Marine 05.23.14
*TW* TWIN LOSS 7.2.15 BFP 9.7.15 CP BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16 BFP 10.14.17 CP BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
@cmjenkies if this is completely out of nowhere for you and he hasn’t given you any reason get a lawyer. You have 3 kids to think about and unfortunately he’s not the first grown ass man I’ve heard of waking up one day and not wanting to be a H/D anymore. He owes you the truth and he owes you answers but let’s face it you may not get any witch just makes him a bigger Ahole. I would make sure you protect your self and your children so again get a lawyer the timing on this just seems really off you about to have a baby meaning you’ll be out of work and everything else. I’m really sorry your going though this. The new born stage along is vary hard but you can do it. DS 2 was born was H was deployed so I had a 1year old and NB for 6 months on my own. It sucks but you got this.
I check the Bump app more frequently than I check my Fb app, since y'all are way more entertaining than most of my acquaintances (and reading about poop and unpopular opinions is way more fun than reading constant depressing headlines in my newsfeed).
I’m ready to make my pseudonym account for FB!!! (Since I don’t have one any more) Can’t imagine doing this pregnancy thing without y’all so you can bet I will do this FB switch right away!!
Still putting in a plea to go somewhere other than FB! I just quit a few months ago and I don't want to go back, but want to still have this community!
So, update on the evolving bullshittery that is my life:
Come to find out, last week, he stuck his dick in one of his coworkers. He’s had feelings for her for several months now. Oh! And he “loves her.” (..but apparently “this isn’t about her.”) She knows he’s married, that we have children, and that I am pregnant.
Ya’ll. I want to light him on fire. I can’t quite verbalize how I’m feeling other than I am in so much emotional pain that it has becoming physical pain.
What a fucking piece of shit, @cmjenkies. He deserves all your rage. I'll echo what others have said, I really hope you have a solid support system. And we are here for you.
@cmjenkies a few moms in my last group went through sudden 'I want a divorce' and in the end those ladies are rocking it solo. That being said i would at least talk to a lawyer, and start getting everything in writing. EVERYTHING. A lawyer may also have good resources for counseling, mediators and good reasons to get DH to realize he should try it.
Not sure what state you're in, but some require you to be separated for a period of time before you can file or anything so look into those rules, etc. Hopefully he comes around, but if he doesn't you want to be in the best place possible!!
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@cmjenkies I cant believe that! What a sack of shit. That’s actually unfair to shit to be compared to him. Wow. For him to do that to not only you but his kids as well is horrible. In my opinion you are not the only one he cheated on. I am so sorry you are going through this and you have all the support of all of us. Do you have family and friends close by? I cant imagine the pain you’re going through.
@cmjenkies - Fuck him. I am so sorry. And so angry for you.
Like a few other girls have said, I’d consult a lawyer and see what your options are. You hold all the cards now because he’s the asshat who fucked up.
@cmjenkies I am so sorry you have to go through that shit. I have nothing else nice to say and am totally angry for you... if he was mine, he'd be on the doorstep already along with all his shit.
@cmjenkies He's absolute trash, and so is his coworker. Who the hell does that?! I'm so sorry you have to go through this, you and your kids deserve so much better.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@cmjenkies oh FUCK THEM BOTH. I am so heartbroken for you. That is beyond devastating and I really, really hope you’re able to lean on other supports right now and take care of yourself and your babies.
They’ve got really strict fraternization rules in his workplace due to the nature of their work and it is taking everything inside of me not to go to his HR department and report them so that they are no longer able to ever be scheduled in the same shift again.. but I can’t fuck with his job like that.
Re: Weekly randoms (10/22-10/26)
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I’m just catching up as best as I can. DS is feeling better, but now DD and I have some kind of gastro issue going on.
@megpants209 This is like 2 pages late, but I sent DH home with DD and our dog when I had DS. He came up everyday with DD until we came home, but I didn’t see having DD’s life uprooted for a few days. Her life had been uprooted enough. We are lucky, though. Our hospital recommends rooming-in, but they’ll help as much as I need them to. I utilized the nursery when necessary.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I’m late to the party and catching up!
@danixbanani24 I can’t believe this. She’s ridiculous. I’m sorry. Like you said… may be time to look for a sitter. You do not need this MIL drama!
@okayestmom12 umm that blew my mind. Never even seen that candy corn thing before!!!
@Kayjay44 You look AWESOME!
@cmjenkies I’m so sorry you are going through this. It is just not fair to you or your kids. You do not need this right now. That is absolutely so shitty. Please keep sharing with us so we can support you. I agree with @cass06_07, he still owes you an explanation even if he doesn’t want to do counseling.
@sjnsjnsjn - I’m going to need you to not say bye and come play on FB. I’ll be sad if we loose some of you Facebook-less folks!!
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
@cmjenkies - how are you doing?
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I don't want to go back to Facebook either!
Come to find out, last week, he stuck his dick in one of his coworkers. He’s had feelings for her for several months now. Oh! And he “loves her.” (..but apparently “this isn’t about her.”) She knows he’s married, that we have children, and that I am pregnant.
Ya’ll. I want to light him on fire. I can’t quite verbalize how I’m feeling other than I am
in so much emotional pain that it has becoming physical pain.
Not sure what state you're in, but some require you to be separated for a period of time before you can file or anything so look into those rules, etc.
Hopefully he comes around, but if he doesn't you want to be in the best place possible!!
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Like a few other girls have said, I’d consult a lawyer and see what your options are. You hold all the cards now because he’s the asshat who fucked up.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
I'm so sorry. I dont know what else to say. Please take care of yourself and those little ones.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
They’ve got really strict fraternization rules in his workplace due to the nature of their work and it is taking everything inside of me not to go to his HR department and report them so that they are no longer able to ever be scheduled in the same shift again.. but I can’t fuck with his job like that.