@madreofdragons YES. Almost daily: "Hannah! I can't find ______. I've looked everywhere." Then, without fail, the first spot that I suggest he check ("again") is exactly where it is. And every time he acts amazed, like I'm some kind of wizard.
@madreofdragons Yup! It doesn't happen often though, thank god. H is very tidy and systematic about all his stuff, and every item has its place, so he very rarely misplaces anything. When something does go missing though, he's at a loss and has NO IDEA how to search or where to begin. Instead of looking he just paces around aimlessly, getting more and more flustered. Usually I end up finding it for him.
... Oh boy, just realized a kid will most definitely mess his system up. This could get interesting!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Seeing the “TW” can be annoying, but it is the considerate thing to do. I go through waves of intense anxiety and appreciate the warning because I can, and sometimes do, pass on reading. I also believe everyone should be able to share and talk about loss and seek support (Been there) but understand that not everyone on the board is in a state of mind to handle it.
In other randomness... my OB is going to love me tomorrow. Today I found out I’ve been repeatedly exposed to someone with MRSA over the past month. The person in question is now in the hospitalized and having surgery for it
@sjnsjnsjn and @ohsunnydays yeppp found out late this afternoon and the person has apparently had it for MONTHS but didn’t know it. I feel like it probably isn’t a major issue but definitely need to tell them tomorrow.
@okayestmom12 Right there with you. I don't know why kids can be fine ALL DAY but start coughing at 1 am for some reason. Currently listening to my youngest across the hall praying the medicine I gave him will kick in soon.
@madreofdragons I call it “man looking” ha. Ill say to my husband “did you look or did you man look” and he usually responds with man look.
@megpants209 so delayed in responding to stuff but with my first DH stayed at the hospital with me for 2 or 3 nights. This time he wont unless baby comes late at night, he may stay that night. We have a 3 year old at home so he will just go back to her every night. I’m also at a hospital thats an hour and a half away and I have to be admitted at 28 weeks so ill be used to being there alone for a while ha.
I've had such a crazy busy week at work and of course I caught DD's cold. I feel miserable and it's just getting worst by the day. To top it off I occasionally DJ for a local community center's fundraisers and events and have an event tomorrow night. I know I'm going to feel miserable so that should be fun...
I'm a bit late with this but @madreofdragons I'm pretty sure I'll be induced at 39w for GD too. I was with DD too. I plan on discussing with my doctor at some point but just haven't yet.
Okay so background is that my MIL is an entitled a-hole with absolutely no filter for her mouth. She has in the past made comments about my weight and family etc etc. Anyway, took years for me to get up the nerve to stand up to her and I do hold my ground but now with my son I am just going to lose my shit on her REAL SOON.
DS has been having poop accidents at school - on purpose. He does it during nap/rest time because he gets bored and wants to go home so he forcefully poops himself. We've been enlisting family to go and change him and put him back in the classroom so he learns but it's a process. Yesterday was MIL's day on duty - lo and behold he has a poop accident. We call her and she gets really huffy and says she has a contractor at the house and she can't leave right away. I had no one else to go (normally I do). My DH asked her to please try and hurry as she has used this contractor before and left him in the house? She got nasty with him as usual because she's a selfish a-hole. Long story short, she didn't pick him up for an HOUR. An hour he had to sit in his own filth and in the principal's office stinking up the place. I am mortified and deeply upset about it.
Cue to this morning, I drop DS at school and the principal stops me to speak about it. Not like in a chastising way but she was concerned about him having to sit for that amount of time as well. I speak to my DH and he decides to speak to his mother about her behavior. He was very calm and logical and said we don't expect you to drop everything immediately but an hour is really too much and anyway she reacted like an overgrown toddler herself by claiming she wasn't an hour late (she was), the teacher is an a-hole (she isn't), don't call her on her days off anymore to be of assistance (punishing a 3 year old and us, very nice), and she would like to see my sister get there on time when she works further away (my sister gets there in 20-30 minutes flat...not exactly an hour).
I'm so pissed off - my MIL holds it over our heads that she is doing us this favor of watching her grandson. And while we are GRATEFUL and we KNOW it is a favor, I hate that it is lorded over us and that we can NEVER say anything critical to her about OUR child because of this. Any time we've tried to say "please do x instead of y" we are met with this response of being defensive and that we should "count our lucky stars". I'm so sick of it! I'm so sick of her acting childish and being this way. What am I going to do when the new LO comes? I honestly think I will be hiring a babysitter for two days a week because I can't tolerate this behavior. UGH. Her behavior has always been this way for 15 years (length I've been with DH)! I just don't feel she should be allowed to say or do whatever she wants all the time because "that's how she is". I want to say something to her so bad but I know DH handled it as best he could but I know it'll come up again because it always does. I'm so frustrated.
@danixbanani24 wow she sounds like a piece of work to me. I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to set her straight. How can you let you grandchild wait an hour knowing hes sitting in poop. Your poor son he must have been so upset.
@danixbanani24 I can relate to having the MIL that gets away with stuff because "that's just how she is." DH and FIL never stood up to her so she thinks she's in charge of everything. If we ask her not to do something she either gets all passive aggressive or she cries. I put my foot down when she was letting my kids get away with bad behavior because she said "mamaw is here so the rules are different." Um, no. I don't think so.
@danixbanani24 Wow! She really seems like a gem. I don't blame you for feeling that way. Your rant is valid and nothing excuses anyone from being an asshole!
@danixbanani24- That is beyond. She punished a child to serve her own ego. It sounds like reducing her access is the way to go, and the sitter for sure if you can swing it. If she thinks getting time with her grandkid is a huge sacrifice and favor to you, and not a gift to her, she should talk to my kids' grandkids who live a five hour drive and four hour flight respectively, and are desperate for chances to see him. What a piece of work.
thanks guys for your support. We've tried speaking to her rationally and it is always met with this kind of response so while I hate to like hold my son as a bargaining piece, I think I do have to look for a different babysitter and tell her not to worry about it anymore. We can afford someone twice a week without a doubt. I also have a family friend that isn't even RELATED to us who offers to babysit for FREE more often than my MIL. Le sigh.
@danixbanani24 I don’t think it’s using your son as a bargaining chip, I think it’s looking out for his wellbeing. She let him sit an HOUR in soiled clothes and is apparently unbothered by this? Ffffff that
@okayestmom12 yup she knew the deal but likes to get in a mood when we have to say something about what’s going on (such as yesterday) and pulls this crap.
I'm catching up on randoms/F19 in general because I've been swamped at work. Today will be slow-ish because we're celebrating Halloween (since the 31st will be our busiest day of the month). This is what I look like at work today:
Because I need a neutral place to vent I just need to get this out to people who don’t know me.
Without going into specifics, on Wednesday night, my husband told me that he was not happy in our marriage. I didn’t know. We’ve been talking about it intensively for the last 2 days. Discussing what we can do to work on things, counseling, an action plan. I was feeling hopeful. This morning, he decided that he doesn’t want to try to fix things. He’s done. We’ve been together for eleven years, married for 4. This is our third child together. I am absolutely shattered. How do I do this newborn stage alone?
Please add in the appropriate expletives here, as I would use them if they weren’t against TOA. Some that start with F will be good.
@cmjenkies oh god I am so sorry. How can he do that to you now of all times? It’s too horrible. What a loser. Sending you all of the creepy internet hugs.
@cmjenkies- Oh my god that is awful!!! No counseling, no nothing, he's just out? Is he having a midlife crisis/stress overload?! That is incredibly terrible and the last thing you need right now. I am so so so sorry. I hope so deeply that you have a strong support system outside of him.
Holy shit @cmjenkies! How can he give up just like that? With two kids and a baby on the way and 11 years invested in this relationship?? I hope he will come to his senses and at least give counseling a try. There has to be issues he needs to work through so why not try? He needs to think of his family not just his own needs here. Ugh I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Re: Weekly randoms (10/22-10/26)
... Oh boy, just realized a kid will most definitely mess his system up. This could get interesting!
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I also believe everyone should be able to share and talk about loss and seek support (Been there) but understand that not everyone on the board is in a state of mind to handle it.
@megpants209 omg I hope all will be okay!
I’m now sitting on my couch eating a bowl of cereal. Baby boy is rocking and rolling in there. Tomorrow (I mean today since it’s 2a) is going to suck.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
Right there with you. I don't know why kids can be fine ALL DAY but start coughing at 1 am for some reason. Currently listening to my youngest across the hall praying the medicine I gave him will kick in soon.
@megpants209 so delayed in responding to stuff but with my first DH stayed at the hospital with me for 2 or 3 nights. This time he wont unless baby comes late at night, he may stay that night. We have a 3 year old at home so he will just go back to her every night. I’m also at a hospital thats an hour and a half away and I have to be admitted at 28 weeks so ill be used to being there alone for a while ha.
I'm a bit late with this but @madreofdragons I'm pretty sure I'll be induced at 39w for GD too. I was with DD too. I plan on discussing with my doctor at some point but just haven't yet.
Okay so background is that my MIL is an entitled a-hole with absolutely no filter for her mouth. She has in the past made comments about my weight and family etc etc. Anyway, took years for me to get up the nerve to stand up to her and I do hold my ground but now with my son I am just going to lose my shit on her REAL SOON.
DS has been having poop accidents at school - on purpose. He does it during nap/rest time because he gets bored and wants to go home so he forcefully poops himself. We've been enlisting family to go and change him and put him back in the classroom so he learns but it's a process. Yesterday was MIL's day on duty - lo and behold he has a poop accident. We call her and she gets really huffy and says she has a contractor at the house and she can't leave right away. I had no one else to go (normally I do). My DH asked her to please try and hurry as she has used this contractor before and left him in the house? She got nasty with him as usual because she's a selfish a-hole. Long story short, she didn't pick him up for an HOUR. An hour he had to sit in his own filth and in the principal's office stinking up the place. I am mortified and deeply upset about it.
Cue to this morning, I drop DS at school and the principal stops me to speak about it. Not like in a chastising way but she was concerned about him having to sit for that amount of time as well. I speak to my DH and he decides to speak to his mother about her behavior. He was very calm and logical and said we don't expect you to drop everything immediately but an hour is really too much and anyway she reacted like an overgrown toddler herself by claiming she wasn't an hour late (she was), the teacher is an a-hole (she isn't), don't call her on her days off anymore to be of assistance (punishing a 3 year old and us, very nice), and she would like to see my sister get there on time when she works further away (my sister gets there in 20-30 minutes flat...not exactly an hour).
I'm so pissed off - my MIL holds it over our heads that she is doing us this favor of watching her grandson. And while we are GRATEFUL and we KNOW it is a favor, I hate that it is lorded over us and that we can NEVER say anything critical to her about OUR child because of this. Any time we've tried to say "please do x instead of y" we are met with this response of being defensive and that we should "count our lucky stars". I'm so sick of it! I'm so sick of her acting childish and being this way. What am I going to do when the new LO comes? I honestly think I will be hiring a babysitter for two days a week because I can't tolerate this behavior. UGH. Her behavior has always been this way for 15 years (length I've been with DH)! I just don't feel she should be allowed to say or do whatever she wants all the time because "that's how she is". I want to say something to her so bad but I know DH handled it as best he could but I know it'll come up again because it always does. I'm so frustrated.
I can relate to having the MIL that gets away with stuff because "that's just how she is." DH and FIL never stood up to her so she thinks she's in charge of everything. If we ask her not to do something she either gets all passive aggressive or she cries. I put my foot down when she was letting my kids get away with bad behavior because she said "mamaw is here so the rules are different." Um, no. I don't think so.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
If she thinks getting time with her grandkid is a huge sacrifice and favor to you, and not a gift to her, she should talk to my kids' grandkids who live a five hour drive and four hour flight respectively, and are desperate for chances to see him. What a piece of work.
Like @sjnsjnsjn said, I’d pull back and look into a sitter. How frustrating!
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
And thats hilarious about the candy corn!
I'm catching up on randoms/F19 in general because I've been swamped at work. Today will be slow-ish because we're celebrating Halloween (since the 31st will be our busiest day of the month). This is what I look like at work today:
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
@danixbanani24 she sounds absolutely horrible. Hire that babysitter and tell her to go to hell.
Without going into specifics, on Wednesday night, my husband told me that he was not happy in our marriage. I didn’t know. We’ve been talking about it intensively for the last 2 days. Discussing what we can do to work on things, counseling, an action plan. I was feeling hopeful. This morning, he decided that he doesn’t want to try to fix things. He’s done. We’ve been together for eleven years, married for 4. This is our third child together. I am absolutely shattered. How do I do this newborn stage alone?
Please add in the appropriate expletives here, as I would use them if they weren’t against TOA. Some that start with F will be good.
Hugs. So many hugs.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
ETA: and why NOW? I understand there is no perfect time to bring this up, but this is about as far in the opposite direction as you can go.