@MRSCORKER, as long as you let me scrub the oven and bomb clean the dishwasher. Seriously. This is insane. Lol! How are you feeling mama? Has baby been more active today?
@Piperella, yesterday DH and I went out to dinner (we didn't poop out of our date night) and we had uninterrupted conversation with food for 2 hours. And after I was like "wow. How long will it be before we have that again?"
@MRSCORKER, as long as you let me scrub the oven and bomb clean the dishwasher. Seriously. This is insane. Lol! How are you feeling mama? Has baby been more active today?
You can clean whatever your little heart desires! I will also take a lasagna I'm feeling much better, thanks! He went crazy last night and has been fairly wiggly today. Such a relief!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
Love seeing everyone enjoying one of their last baby free weekends! Home stretch everyone! @annabenanna I've been nesting like crazy. I washed everything in the house, mopped, cleaned the bathrooms, dusted, organized and made about 12 freezer meals this week. Today I'm only allowing myself to do fun and relaxing things, I figured I need to enjoy this last little bit of quiet
@MRSCORKER, so happy to hear that! It's so worrisome when our babies have their lazy days in there...i guess they're also storing up energy to terrorize us in the outside world. and yes to lasagna! I just looked up pioneer woman's lasagna roll ups. I think it's the winner recipe I'm gonna follow!
@LGW2015 12 meals?!!! I need your energy!!! I just wish I took off work this coming week. I'd get so much more done! Lol
@annabenanna if I was still working I'd literally get nothing done. I was so dead by the time I got home. Also, I'm totally paying for all that work wth swollen, stiff carpal tunnel hands today
@Piperella - we've been takin advantage of our last lazy weekends too... We got a few pre-baby to do's done this morning and then I basically napped on the couch until the football game came on. We don't have much longer to do that!
@MRSCORKER - so glad to hear he's moving more now! I'm just checking in for the first time this weekend so I'm behind, but I'd have been stressed too!
Sounds like a great evening last night, @annabenanna!!! We are going for proper British fish and chips tomorrow night for our date night. We figure a baby wouldn't be so welcome in a pub.
@mrszoess - I want all the cheesecakes. My DH made a claim on the chocolate cakes. That looks so yummy. I want a candle that smells like those cakes.
@bnsmith85 - Sounds like a great weekend with a great mix of getting stuff done and relaxing. I will admit I started crying this morning in bed as I knew this was a last solid nights sleep and morning of sleeping in without having to take care of anyone else. I lost it when our tiny cat sat on top of my husband while he slept.
I have been doing nothing but cleaning today. The dog fur in the house is horrendous (I blame the corgi - he sheds like no other.) Have created so much trash, and 3 bags for goodwill. But now my back hurts. I don't want to stop though.
Well... My mom made a comment about wanting to be at the hospital when I have Ella so I let her know we'd let them know when it's okay to visit and explained my rationale behind it. We were texting and she just responded with "okay," which isn't normal for her. Ugh... It makes me feel bad, but I'm not changing my mind about this. We need time to recover and be a family of 3 before everyone starts flooding in the hospital room.
Well... My mom made a comment about wanting to be at the hospital when I have Ella so I let her know we'd let them know when it's okay to visit and explained my rationale behind it. We were texting and she just responded with "okay," which isn't normal for her. Ugh... It makes me feel bad, but I'm not changing my mind about this. We need time to recover and be a family of 3 before everyone starts flooding in the hospital room.
I feel exactly the same way but MIL is insisting on coming to the hospital. I made DH explain that we're doing at least an hour of skin of skin (standard for the hospital anyway) after he's born so she's going to be waiting around for a long while, she might as well just wait at the house. In the end, we're going to do what we want/need/are comfortable with and everyone is going to have to deal with it. I do feel bad too but it's more important for me and DH to get what we want out of the situation than for the grandparents. They can wait.
@bnsmith85 and @LGW2015 We may not even tell people we're at the hospital and may just update them when the baby is here and tell them when we'll be ready for visitors. That way, even if they leave right away, they won't get to the hospital in time to interupt our family bonding. Also, I know my H and if family is waiting in the lobby during labor, he'll feel like he needs to keep them updated every 5 minutes and I need him with me, not running back and forth and/or on his phone answering texts. They'll all get over it.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
Well... My mom made a comment about wanting to be at the hospital when I have Ella so I let her know we'd let them know when it's okay to visit and explained my rationale behind it. We were texting and she just responded with "okay," which isn't normal for her. Ugh... It makes me feel bad, but I'm not changing my mind about this. We need time to recover and be a family of 3 before everyone starts flooding in the hospital room.
I feel exactly the same way but MIL is insisting on coming to the hospital. I made DH explain that we're doing at least an hour of skin of skin (standard for the hospital anyway) after he's born so she's going to be waiting around for a long while, she might as well just wait at the house. In the end, we're going to do what we want/need/are comfortable with and everyone is going to have to deal with it. I do feel bad too but it's more important for me and DH to get what we want out of the situation than for the grandparents. They can wait.
That's actually the exact rationale I used... In addition to needing to recover. I decided just to call her out on seeming upset about it and she said she wasn't but that she just didn't know that I wouldn't want them to visit while I'm in labor bc she visited both my cousins while they were in labor... Which made be feel worse. I don't think that was her intention, knowing my mom. But it did make me feel really bad. whatever... I just need to let it go. You're exactly correct about getting what WE want out of the situation being most important @LGW2015
@MRSCORKER... I would actually do that too if my mom wasn't planning to come down to watch the dogs for us. Which is part of what makes me feel bad about it. I don't want her to think we're using her. I told her if she was upset and didn't want to watch the dogs, it was okay and to just let me know. She said I'm crazy and that, of course she wants to take care of them.... So that's good
@MRSCORKER... I would actually do that too if my mom wasn't planning to come down to watch the dogs for us. Which is part of what makes me feel bad about it. I don't want her to think we're using her. I told her if she was upset and didn't want to watch the dogs, it was okay and to just let me know. She said I'm crazy and that, of course she wants to take care of them.... So that's good
@bnsmith85 Yep, that's exactly what's happening with my in-laws too, they're coming to watch the dog. I've never done this before but I just couldn't imagine having anyone other than DH in the room when I'm having contractions <5 minutes apart. I'm going to be in serious pain and want silence so I can concentrate on getting through the moment, not visitors. I know it's hard not to feel bad but hey, we gotta do whatever we have to in order to get through labor and push this kid out. We shouldn't feel bad about that!
Labor is not something that should require an audience and it's not a party. If someone is cool with having everyone around, that's fine, but it should never be questioned when someone says no. In my mind, it's an intensely personal experience.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
The only person we are letting in with us is my twin sister, who only just recently made me aware of the fact that she has always wanted to be present during delivery with my other two, but was never able to. I'm totally cool with her, she's my literal other half! Other than that, sorry but nope. We tried being nice last time, and it ended up a near disaster. Never again.
@MRSCORKER, @LGW2015, @bnsmith85, @SpaceBurger Totally get where all of you are coming from. This was stressing out DH and I too. No one lives close to us, and we have had multiple requests to alert people "as soon as we are in labor" and to send updates while in labor, etc. After talking about it just the two of us, we decided nope, not happening. We will just tell people we didn't have time to update earlier, but he's born now. The last thing we want to worry about while in labor is remembering to update all family members. Just no. This is our time.
@MRSCORKER does your local for department do car seat inspections? We got ours checked out and we had it in wrong! Even though we have several engineering degrees between the two of us....
These discussions of people in the delivery room or visiting the hospital make me sort of glad my family lives almost 2,000 miles away. My mother-in-law will be in town to watch our son while I'm giving birth, so she'll obviously know I'm in labor and I'll probably text my mom and sister when we're on our way to the hospital and then once the baby is born (because they asked very nicely), but I know I don't have to worry about telling people not to come visit us because none of them can. I come from a large family (my dad is one of 12 kids and my mom is one of 8) and, for some reason, people in my dad's family feel like they have to visit every time someone is in the hospital. I didn't think about it until I had my oldest (thankfully, as I said, 2,000 miles away from my family), but I can not imagine how exhausting it must be to deal with 30 or more people traipsing through your hospital room after you've just given birth. It was so nice to just have those 30ish hours post-labor to relax (as much as possible after you've pushed an 8 lb creature through a hole the size of a bagel) and bond as a family. Now we're debating whether or not to have my mother-in-law bring my oldest to "meet" his baby brother in the hospital or if we should just wait until we bring him home.
Am I the only one who has family members that totally don't want to be in the delivery room and watch my vagina push out an 8lb human? I can't believe people are actually so pushy about being "invited".
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Exactly my thoughts @MRSCORKER and @LGW2015! It's such an intimate and personal thing. Fortunately, my mom reverted back to her usual self with the last 2 texts she sent below... Which makes me feel better. Even if she's just trying to make me feel better.
And @Schell2013... Fortunately, she doesn't want to be there while I'm pushing her out. I think she was just thinking that I'll have an epidural and will be just hanging out for hours on end. We shall see if that's the case or not.
I think it's so hard for moms to find the perfect balance for being there for something so meaningful and important to their daughter's life. I know my mom is having this same kind of issue, @bnsmith85 and it does make me feel bad. She's generally the first person I run to after my husband, so it's hard saying no, we got this.. Just the two of us without thinking we are hurting her feelings. I think your mom sounds like she's trying her best to be supportive of you and your husband while also wanting to be there for your special moment. I feel ya and hate feeling a but guilty, but we know what is best for our growing families.
It's nice that so many of you have good relationships with your moms I definitely don't have that. Everyone is very much aware that they won't be notified of labor.
ETA: with the exception of my in-laws who need to come watch DS & the dog
@bnsmith85 Is your mom interested in adoption? If so I'd like to be considered! Although as horrible as my mother has been lately she put in a very solid effort last night to be supportive. This was after simply deciding she's visiting two weeks earlier than invited... So...., but I feel a sliver of hope it may not be the worst week ever.
We were planning to not tell anyone until he was born to avoid visitors during delivery, but we have quite a few people who have to make travel plans for the weekend after, so now H wants to tell them when we head to the hospital. I said okay, but absolutely put my foot down that we will not be updating during labor- you get 2 texts: one that he's coming and one that he's here. The end! My mom may be a different story, but she's local, I'm the one pushing the baby out, I may have her come relieve my husband for a while if it goes long and I reserve the right to decide.
DH wants my mom there, and my dad is perfectly content in the waiting room w his ipad for days lol. my brother and his fiancé are coming in from maryland and those are the only people coming on day 1. i really don't mind visitors but feeding time and stuff they are gonna have to go.
@books&icecream... hahaha. My mom is pretty wonderful... which is why I felt so bad about making her feel bad. Annnnd that last sentence makes me feel like a crazy person lol. But it's so true
I obviously should have given it more time to pan out instead of running here to post. I was just in tears over it and wanted to vent lol.... stupid hormones.
DH and I decided to tell everyone once we are admitted to the hospital. Our moms want to be in the waiting room (which I am fine with because I made sure they understood that they would not be allowed in the room until we had time with our little girl for a couple of hours). Part of me would like to wait to tell them once she is here but I hesitate just because *TW* my mind always goes to worst case scenario. And what if something happens to the baby or me while in labor and DH was completely alone afterwards and/or our family was resentful that they weren't there when something tragic happens.
As long as everyone understands that they will not be allowed in the room until we say so, then I am fine with them wasting time sitting in the waiting room.
Then we'll tell everyone she is here (friends that want to come see us in the hospital) once we've settled in our recovery room and are prepared for visitors.
I would much rather have a ton eof visitors at the hospital versus everyone trying to come to my house once we're home so I figure we might as well get it over wiht.
Re: Weekly Randoms 9/19
@Piperella, yesterday DH and I went out to dinner (we didn't poop out of our date night) and we had uninterrupted conversation with food for 2 hours. And after I was like "wow. How long will it be before we have that again?"
I'm feeling much better, thanks! He went crazy last night and has been fairly wiggly today. Such a relief!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
@LGW2015 12 meals?!!! I need your energy!!! I just wish I took off work this coming week. I'd get so much more done! Lol
@MRSCORKER - so glad to hear he's moving more now! I'm just checking in for the first time this weekend so I'm behind, but I'd have been stressed too!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@mrszoess - I want all the cheesecakes. My DH made a claim on the chocolate cakes. That looks so yummy. I want a candle that smells like those cakes.
@bnsmith85 - Sounds like a great weekend with a great mix of getting stuff done and relaxing. I will admit I started crying this morning in bed as I knew this was a last solid nights sleep and morning of sleeping in without having to take care of anyone else. I lost it when our tiny cat sat on top of my husband while he slept.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
I decided just to call her out on seeming upset about it and she said she wasn't but that she just didn't know that I wouldn't want them to visit while I'm in labor bc she visited both my cousins while they were in labor... Which made be feel worse. I don't think that was her intention, knowing my mom. But it did make me feel really bad.
whatever... I just need to let it go. You're exactly correct about getting what WE want out of the situation being most important @LGW2015
I told her if she was upset and didn't want to watch the dogs, it was okay and to just let me know. She said I'm crazy and that, of course she wants to take care of them.... So that's good
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
And @Schell2013... Fortunately, she doesn't want to be there while I'm pushing her out. I think she was just thinking that I'll have an epidural and will be just hanging out for hours on end. We shall see if that's the case or not.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
ETA: with the exception of my in-laws who need to come watch DS & the dog
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
My mom may be a different story, but she's local, I'm the one pushing the baby out, I may have her come relieve my husband for a while if it goes long and I reserve the right to decide.
go.
And I couldn't agree with you more @Piperella!
I obviously should have given it more time to pan out instead of running here to post. I was just in tears over it and wanted to vent lol.... stupid hormones.
As long as everyone understands that they will not be allowed in the room until we say so, then I am fine with them wasting time sitting in the waiting room.
Then we'll tell everyone she is here (friends that want to come see us in the hospital) once we've settled in our recovery room and are prepared for visitors.
I would much rather have a ton eof visitors at the hospital versus everyone trying to come to my house once we're home so I figure we might as well get it over wiht.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19