Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
bearsandbeets7
member
Re: Randoms 7/4-7/10
1. Woke up at 11:30 AM today...great! Monday off spent appropriately (I'm trying not to freak out at the fact that we could've cleaned the house or something)
2. Thankfully, I resisted all the cute 4th of July newborn outfits at Baby Gap last month. She is still cookin'
3. I told DH to deal with his family who's slowly trying to creep back into our lives knowing our baby is due very soon (haven't talked to them since Thanksgiving; no plans to change that)
4. Heading over to this indoor marketplace where different food vendors sell variety of foods. I am SO fungry my brunch(?) might look like this: 1 korean bbq taco, 1 turnpike knish, 1 mini blueberry pie, and 1 oatmeal cookie ice cream sandwich
5. Despite being so close to the White House & the Wash. monument (literally blocks away), I have zero desire to wait outside with gazillion tourists for the fireworks show tonight. And being the extra paranoid one that I am, I'd rather watch the show on TV because of recent heightened sensitivity over security and all.
6. I wonder if we'll actually get to finish the nursery today as planned. Must put up wall decal & book shelves.
7. Happy 4th, mamas!
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
I'm getting really annoyed by all the special snowflake threads popping up now. The board is getting messy with newcomers not using our established threads.
Can we get a little more July up in here? Just a little?
Maybe these cramps are making me crabby. Patience is not a third tri strong suit.
I have anywhere from 35-42 days left until this baby comes. Maybe less if I go into labor before my CS. I've done all I can do to the nursery until my sprinkle on the 17 so I've been sitting around all day on Pinterest. Most of my searches have been "surviving 2 under 2."
Is is it too late to decide that I just don't think I'm ready for another baby yet? Some days I'm so excited and just ready for him to be here but most days I feel full on panicked thinking about bringing another baby into the world.
And to @Lynnlove28 I seriously do not know how the toddler moms on here do it. I am exhausted everyday and I feel accomplished if I get little things done. I cannot imagine how you must feel to be pregnant AND chase after a toddler. You are a lot tougher than me, so I assume if you can handle this, then you will make 2 under 2 your bitch.
I was happier to come to work today than I think I've ever been. After 4 days of moving, unpacking and multiple trips to Target and Lowe's, I get to sit in a chair with my feet up all day. No power tools, no heavy boxes, no sweating. So thankful for having a desk job right now!
@lynnlove28 I feel that way too. I especially feel that way when everything is going exactly right with DD and our routine is set. Things almost feel easy sometimes and then I realize that will be tossed out the window here in a few weeks.
I am so exhausted baby girl was moving so much on sunday night because her cousins decided sleep with me in bed since DH is not home and they snuggle and its cute but baby girl was not having it she kept kicking me all night, so sleep was not great until 7am-10:30am think she was tired by then and when i woke up felt like i had the best sleep of my life
So I have a NBR question. My husband is starting a new job with good money but crappy hours... we'll basically see each other in the morning before I leave, if he gets up in the middle of his opportunity to sleep or in the middle of the night if I do the same, weekends, and that is it. I figured household deep cleaning chores are just one thing we don't need to worry about on weekends so we can spend some time as a family, especially it's pretty reasonable to hire someone to come in in our area. (less than $100 /mo for bi weekly / 3 hours each)
My husband thinks someone should be home the entire time the cleaner is in our house "to keep an eye on them"
I think that's weird. I grew up with weekly housekeepers, and they always came when everyone was away -
We're pretty split on this. I found someone who seems like she'll work out, she is the daughter in law of our neighbors, and came recommended by some of my clients. And we paid for Care.com, and she has been verified through them - she can come at 2:30 on any weekday, and my husband will leave for work at 3:30 - she'll likely finish up before I get home at 6. I think that is totally fine, my husband is having kittens over leaving a stranger in our home.
WWYD?
First world problems for sure...
If she comes recommended and verified, I think it's totally fine to have her be there by herself! What is your husband worried about? Stealing? Privacy? Doing a good job?
Is he worried about her stealing something? Honestly, I feel this is her job and she does it daily for a living. I don't leave money laying around or have any expensive jewelry, etc. The worst she could do is take a MacBook or something which would be very obvious. My cleaning lady comes at different times so I couldn't imagine trying to be home every time and then sit around while she cleans around me.
I don't know if it would be possible, but if you are able to "drop in" on her the first few times she cleans maybe that would help him feel better? Maybe after he meets her it will put his mind at ease.
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
Thanks everyone, he was making me feel like *I* was the one being weird letting a stranger in our house alone. I even figured we would compromise and not give her a key right away (since he would be home to let her in, just have her lock the door behind her) and have her come when he is there for the first hour, at least at first. He was still kinda twitched out about it... I totally agree, it is much better IMO to just get out of the way and let the clean house magic happen.
And she won't use anything we don't provide, which since my husband is allergic to anything antibiotic is huge. Honestly, I washed my hands, then held his and he broke out in a rash - I felt terrible!
@mfuller76 I don't know what his twitch about it is, but I was like "Maybe this is not a thing?" (Apparently - totally a thing. Hmph)
@LWC1112 on her care.com profile she does offer occasional babysitting and pet sitting as needed... so once we establish more of a relationship, we'll have someone we know and trust in the area for those times my parents aren't around.
@kcolly32 - how far along are you? My doctors said that since I'm past 32 weeks they aren't even monitoring my cervical length anymore (I also had the steroid shots and am on progesterone suppositories).
Allisun85 Our cleaning lady is the best money I spend every month. There's nothing like Thursday evenings when I walk into a clean house - it's the best! I actually don't like being home when she's there, I feel like I'm in her way. As long as you trust the person, there's no reason anyone needs to be there. If something is missing, you're going to know who took it! I was home the first time my lady cleaned for us, but after that it was always during work hours. We pay $75/week, it really should be more now since she cleans a lot more rooms than she did when we first hired her, and it's beyond worth the money because of the time it saves us. Who wants to be cleaning when you can be spending time with family (or sleeping).
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
@Knottie44929339 i am not a SAHM but i have been exhausted to the point that i have not cleaned for like a month but my mom helps me out because she went through same thing while pregnant with me and she says all she wanted to do was sleep and she did. I also been having a lot of BH and pelvic cramping not fun at all, i almost cried sunday night and my nephew tells me auntie its ok maybe my cousin wants to come out already because i do too and i told him NO we have one more month until she makes her arrival, and he just smiles and rubs my belly. but this month will feel like the forever of pregnancy
@Mfuller76 how did your move go?! Ours is Thursday and we are just trying to get everything in boxes at this point. Of course, DH decided that he had to paint the crib while its disassembled for the move, and now that's taking up quite a bit of our precious little time!
@cal031686 We couldn't afford it either until he got this job, but between me bouncing off and on bedrest in one form or another, and his wonky new hours (and awesome new pay check!) totally worth making it happen.
My house is an embarrassment at the moment. I've been letting my DH do the "cleaning" - husband clean and wife clean are honestly very different definitions in my house, lol. The cobwebs in the corners are driving me nutty, but I started contracting when I tried to use the vacuum wand on the ceiling, and DH freaked out when he came in the room and I was up on the couch, vacuum in hand, bent double... so I have been banned. DH just doesn't see them, so unless I specifically ask "Can you get that cobweb right there" it gets overlooked.
My latest ultimatum this morning, I told hubby he can either clean the condensation marks off the bathroom ceiling or his pregnant wife will be climbing a ladder to do it herself!! He claims he will do it when he gets up today. We shall see! Lol
My second random is that my entire company is on forced PTO this week (shut down week as a manufacturer), but I work from home so I decided to keep working to save my PTO for after delivery... But with no one to answer to I expect to have a pretty easy week. Woohoo!
On another note... I finally got the little one's room somewhat put together. I wasn't sure if that would ever happen.
And how do they "force" PTO?? If the office is closed I would think that's a holiday, not PTO. Seems unfair!
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
How many braxton hicks threads do we need? Breast pumps? Mat leave? I give up because even when you point them to the already existing well established discussion threads on what they're asking about, they don't ever come back and continue to use the board appropriately. It's just one special snowflake after another lol.