Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
balamama
member
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for May 2016**
There's a lady I work with whose daughter had her first baby today. Grandma was texting another lady here with updates, and this lady felt the need to update the entire floor, "She's 9 cm dilated, but the baby won't turn the right way!"
Nooo. No no no. I don't even know this woman in labor, and I definitely don't want to know anything about her vagina.
DH will be the only one in the delivery room with me, and likely the only one that will know how dilated I am.
Note: I'm not referring to updating bumpies about the goings-on of our labors. That's different
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
#HistoryNerdProblems #SorryJustNeededToGetThatOneOffMyChest
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!2. YES to sore thighs! I think it must be how I'm walking too but I don't know how to stop
3. Had my first Charlie horse this week - those are no joke. I think I need to start stretching before bed
I just realized that at the end of this work-day, my anticipated maternity leave is close enough to use my desk flip-number calendar to count down. (39 work days!) This makes me simultaneously ecstatic and nervous/nesting-crazy!
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!He is on day 5 of his new school and totally killing it! I was super nervous because he is only 2 1/2 and they do a full preschool curriculum. I didn't know how he would do since he is so young and was a preemie, but he is a rockstar! We have had a few rough drop-offs, but today he ran right into school, hugged his teacher and then started dancing while singing "Bye bye Mama! Bye bye Mama!" I guess he has adjusted. Every day when I ask him what he did at school, he jabbers on and on and on with so much excitement and enthusiasm! The other day, I asked what he did and he very seriously replied, "Theater. I played a froggy. My lines were Ribbit Ribbit." The kid cracks me up! And his teachers are shocked at his progress. He can identify his name and about 10 other written words such as train, tree, cat, etc. He can count to 20 and is starting to understand that after 20 you just say twenty-ONE, twenty-TWO and so on. He has basically potty trained himself already and is dry most mornings and throughout the day while requesting to use the potty instead of needing to be prompted. And he does a killer Adele impression. Seriously. His teacher said he didn't get a full nap yesterday because he was singing quietly to himself. I asked what he was singing and she giggled and said "I think it was the Adele song". So I asked him in the car and he said "Oh, yes, Mama, I was singing" he cleared his throat and belted out "Hello from the other siiiiiiiiiiide! I muddle cowed a tow-sand piiiiiiiines!"
The best part is every day when we get home I lay on the couch on my side and he drives his trains and cars over my belly while giving fantastic commentary for Baby Luna. Sample: "Ok, Luna, so the orange car is zooming by, but the blue train is flying over! Wow! The blue train is so fast!" Then he will get really close to my belly and whisper to her. I can't hear what he is saying, but every once in a while she kicks super hard and has even head-butted him through my belly! They are already scheming! He gives her kisses and will play *gentle* Patty Cake with her and gets so excited when she bumps back. I am in absolute bliss and can't wait to see how they interact when she isn't inside my body.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Random rant--below is the email I sent to our secretary in charge of teacher attendance after getting my most recent pay stub. She calls me back and says, "It was a sick day, not a personal day." I like, I KNOW that! I didn't say anything about personal days! My issue it was only 1/2 day, not a whole day! I went back and looked at the email I sent her, and it seems pretty clear to me. Can people not freaking read anymore??
I just got my most recent pay stub, and it states that I have used 1 sick day this year. According to my records and what is showing in Aesop, I have only used .5 sick day—I took half a sick day on January 27. Can this be corrected to show that I should have 24.5 sick days remaining, rather than 24? (In planning for maternity leave and upcoming doctor appointments, I am trying to make every little bit count!)
Just wondering when everyone started thinking that it is ok to ask me how much weight I have gained?? I don't get how people think that this is a perfectly fine question to ask. What if I just started asking women how much weight they had gained-everyone would be so offended. But just because I'm pregnant its ok to ask me? Uh no.
I'm going to get a bagel now.
She didn't mean it to be rude...just honest lol
I keep having dreams about other men (not sexual dreams) and it's bothering me. There is this REALLY attractive guy who goes to the gym that I enjoy looking at (and will miss seeing when we move next month and I go to a new gym) that I've had dreams about. And another guy who is in my husband's car club has been in a couple dreams. Like I said, nothing sexual but still makes me feel bad.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!What in the world is LFAF?
BFP 1: 9/15/2013 | DD 5/23/2014
BFP 2: 9/15/2015 | EDD 5/26/2016
My last class is exhausting. They're all freshman, many of which have either an ADHD diagnosis or are on the spectrum, and two are blatantly racist (but don't understand that they are!