Rant/Vent: my "mommy" FB group is seriously astounding sometimes with the types of things people post. A few weeks ago one woman posted that she was 5 months PP and had diarrhea every single day multiple times since delivery, and now she was extremely weak. She was posting to ask if anyone had any ideas. WTF WHY have you not called your doctor about this in 5 months??? Someone else posted a pic of their kid's diaper containing bloody urine and asked what she should do. Call a doctor. Someone else: I've had a terrible cough for a week and tonight I'm having a really hard time breathing, do you guys think I should go to the ER? Seriously. Why are you posting this to Facebook instead of calling a damn doctor. Why.
Because why call a doctor when you can page Dr. Google?
Rant/Vent: my "mommy" FB group is seriously astounding sometimes with the types of things people post. A few weeks ago one woman posted that she was 5 months PP and had diarrhea every single day multiple times since delivery, and now she was extremely weak. She was posting to ask if anyone had any ideas. WTF WHY have you not called your doctor about this in 5 months??? Someone else posted a pic of their kid's diaper containing bloody urine and asked what she should do. Call a doctor. Someone else: I've had a terrible cough for a week and tonight I'm having a really hard time breathing, do you guys think I should go to the ER? Seriously. Why are you posting this to Facebook instead of calling a damn doctor. Why.
I follow a bunch of running groups and I see the same thing there... Lots of injuries and health problems yet instead of asking their doctor if they should continue to run they ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet.... I don't get it either.
Rant/Vent: my "mommy" FB group is seriously astounding sometimes with the types of things people post. A few weeks ago one woman posted that she was 5 months PP and had diarrhea every single day multiple times since delivery, and now she was extremely weak. She was posting to ask if anyone had any ideas. WTF WHY have you not called your doctor about this in 5 months??? Someone else posted a pic of their kid's diaper containing bloody urine and asked what she should do. Call a doctor. Someone else: I've had a terrible cough for a week and tonight I'm having a really hard time breathing, do you guys think I should go to the ER? Seriously. Why are you posting this to Facebook instead of calling a damn doctor. Why.
This might be my crabbiness coming out, but yeah, people are morons. If you can't take the initiate to call a doctor, how are you going to care for a child.
Totally feel everyone on the 3rd trimester symptoms bitch slapping you. I could feel them slowly creep in, but yesterday, it was just like they showed up on my door step and I opened the front door. I told my husband that I have no idea how over night I felt 3 times more pregnant that I have been feeling. The cherry on the cake was slipping on falling downstairs (thankfully) landing on my upper back. I now feel like I've been in a bad car accident from the shoulders up including a nice case of whiplash. Awesome.
I follow a bunch of running groups and I see the same thing there... Lots of injuries and health problems yet instead of asking their doctor if they should continue to run they ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet.... I don't get it either.
Me too!! It's the same thing...my (insert body part) has really been hurting for 6 months but I don't want to stop running even though it's so bad that I throw up and then have a seizure every single time I run. Do you guys think it's ok to keep running? Yes. Yes, I do. Please Darwin yourself out.
Do you participate in Run the Year by any chance? Because some days I think about leaving that group because of the silliness. Some gems from there include "I posted something and no one "liked" it so I posted it again and still no one "liked" it so now I'm sulking and threatening to leave the group because no one will support my life by making a meaningless mouse click on a random facebook post." Gahhh GO AWAY THEN. Or, "sitting in the ER with my mom because she had a heart attack this afternoon." Okayyy...did she have a heart attack while running? Did you run to the hospital? I'm generally not an insensitive bitch but why is this on a runner's feed and not on your personal facebook where people who actually...um, know you and your mom...can see it?
To the third trimester bitch slapped- remember second trimester? Those were the good days. i have a friend who is 14 weeks and she says she feels good. I'm basically the troll that tells her "wait...it becomes horrible again"
@That1didntcount I thought that's what I was feeling! She had hiccups for five minutes or so last week and I was like wow this is weird I think she has hiccups and the she had them for about 10 minutes during church service yesterday my pastor probably thought I was crazy smiling during a serious sermon lol oops!
also, this may be a weird question but when does the belly button pop out? I'm very nervous about it for some reason and am wondering if it will even happen for me since I have such a deep belly button to begin with.
@That1didntcount I thought that's what I was feeling! She had hiccups for five minutes or so last week and I was like wow this is weird I think she has hiccups and the she had them for about 10 minutes during church service yesterday my pastor probably thought I was crazy smiling during a serious sermon lol oops!
also, this may be a weird question but when does the belly button pop out? I'm very nervous about it for some reason and am wondering if it will even happen for me since I have such a deep belly button to begin with.
I don't think it happens to everyone. I have a small, but deep belly button, and I'm wondering if it ever will. I'm 31 weeks.
re: belly button -- mine's been totally flat for like six weeks now. I think it's just beginning to pop out now (at 29 weeks) but when I lie flat on my back, it goes back to its normal "innie" shape because the pressure against it is gone.
Before getting knocked up, I always thought your belly button would just pop out one day, like one of those buttons that just goes "ping!" when you open a sealed jam jar, but apparently it's a much slower process than that in real life.
re: belly button. I normally have a very shallow belly button so by the end of the 1st tri it was already flat. As I kept growing my belly button popped a while ago. I know this isn't my "timer" for when my baby is ready, ha!
So cute, had to share. My husband just pep talked me "you're doing so great, only 9 more weeks...you've made it 31 weeks, you can do it". I couldn't love him anymore if I tried right now!!
I follow a bunch of running groups and I see the same thing there... Lots of injuries and health problems yet instead of asking their doctor if they should continue to run they ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet.... I don't get it either.
Just to play devil's advocate- I had bad hip and knee pain for years and all the doctors/physical therapists/chiropractors I went to were ZERO help. What finally helped me was talking to people online who had been through it themselves and experimenting on myself. Now I'm pain-free and more athletic than I've ever been (well, minus the whole pregnancy pain thing, but I'm slowly figuring out how to fix that, too).
- How necessary is a humidifier for a baby, actually?
- Assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I will feel up to going to some friends' wedding two weeks later? Baby would not attend; would be baby-sat by ILs or parents.
- Again assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I'll feel up to going to concert three weeks later? Flight of the Conchords is going to be in Milwaukee and the thought of missing them makes me sad.
- How necessary is a humidifier for a baby, actually?
- Assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I will feel up to going to some friends' wedding two weeks later? Baby would not attend; would be baby-sat by ILs or parents.
- Again assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I'll feel up to going to concert three weeks later? Flight of the Conchords is going to be in Milwaukee and the thought of missing them makes me sad.
FTM here but you MUST go to flight of the conchords. I mean, it's business time!
@arj14 we did not initially buy a humidifier for our July baby. Then November rolled around, and it was a must-have. I'm sure it depends on many factors whether you need one (dryness of home, etc)
a friend of mine rsvp'd yes to my shower but then two weeks before the shower realized it's her husband's bday the next day and so is having a family dinner the day of my shower and decides to change her rsvp from yes to no. Upon hearing this from my baby shower host I'm appalled that someone can't just attend for the sake of showing up since you're my friend and a close one at that even for just an hour. The shower is during the day if I remember correctly.
I don't understand people sometimes.
If she is a good friend, my guess is that she both really needs the time to prep for company to come over and that she intends to be such a big part of your life with baby that she doesn't see the shower as an important event for her to attend to show her care for you and baby.
A positive spin on a big faux pas, I suppose, but I'm sure your friend wasnt being thoughtless or dismissive, and I'm sure she's sorry not to be there. Because she is your friend, I'm assuming the best!
I actually feel okay (30W1D). I'm surprisingly energetic and I've been getting a lot done at work, which then makes me feel better. I'm just hoping it lasts...
- How necessary is a humidifier for a baby, actually?
- Assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I will feel up to going to some friends' wedding two weeks later? Baby would not attend; would be baby-sat by ILs or parents.
- Again assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I'll feel up to going to concert three weeks later? Flight of the Conchords is going to be in Milwaukee and the thought of missing them makes me sad.
I'm debating the same on the concert issue. I'm due 5/15. Beyonce is playing here 6/7. I reallllllyyyy wanna go. I think I'm gonna play it by ear and get tickets a few days before if I'm up to it. That's my suggestion for you too. Can always get tickets on line the day of!
I actually feel okay (30W1D). I'm surprisingly energetic and I've been getting a lot done at work, which then makes me feel better. I'm just hoping it lasts...
I feel okay too, but I'm only 28 weeks. I don't have energy though, for the most part. I'm used to that though! I was anemic for a while before I got pregnant so I was pretty much always tired anyway.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
So since we moved across the country in December, my sister and mom threw a small "celebrate the baby/pregnancy/new mom to be" party (since it was way too early to consider it a shower) back in November so that my husband and I could see all of our close friends and family before we left and so we could celebrate this pregnancy with those we love before we move so far away. We got so much baby stuff, and I'm so so grateful. We've pretty much, over the past few months, have gotten most everything else we need for baby....and there's NO ROOM for it. Kids need a lot, man and we've got zero storage space in this new house. I got organizer bins for the nursery closet and have put most of what I could fit in there, and currently things like the baby bath, the few rattles/toys we have, the play mat, are all piled into the crib because I have nowhere else for them to go. WHERE THE HELL DO PEOPLE KEEP ALL THE BABY STUFF?! I walk in there to try and tackle the nursery to get it to looking how I want and there's a big eye sore of a stroller chilling in the corner. Haha. Here baby! Sleep atop of your baby stuff mountain, I promise it will be comfy!
So since we moved across the country in December, my sister and mom threw a small "celebrate the baby/pregnancy/new mom to be" party (since it was way too early to consider it a shower) back in November so that my husband and I could see all of our close friends and family before we left and so we could celebrate this pregnancy with those we love before we move so far away. We got so much baby stuff, and I'm so so grateful. We've pretty much, over the past few months, have gotten most everything else we need for baby....and there's NO ROOM for it. Kids need a lot, man and we've got zero storage space in this new house. I got organizer bins for the nursery closet and have put most of what I could fit in there, and currently things like the baby bath, the few rattles/toys we have, the play mat, are all piled into the crib because I have nowhere else for them to go. WHERE THE HELL DO PEOPLE KEEP ALL THE BABY STUFF?! I walk in there to try and tackle the nursery to get it to looking how I want and there's a big eye sore of a stroller chilling in the corner. Haha. Here baby! Sleep atop of your baby stuff mountain, I promise it will be comfy!
I'm having the same issue with finding storage space. After our first shower a week ago, our nursery is overflowing, and we still have another shower in 3 weeks! When we bought our house about 2 years ago, we were moving from a condo and thought we'd never find enough stuff to fill the whole thing. Fast forward 2 years, and I have no idea where all this stuff came from! Because we have vaulted ceilings throughout the house, our only attic space is over the garage, and it's relatively small. Other than that and some shelving in the garage, we don't have any storage space. When we cleaned out the room that is now our nursery, we threw out a ton of stuff and I still have about 6-7 boxes of stuff stacked in my guest room that I need to sell, donate, or find somewhere to store. My ILs have a vacation condo across town with a small attic over their garage that they don't use, so I may start filling it!
STMs: Where did/do you store your stroller, baby carrier, and other larger items when not in use? We could always set them in the foyer by the door or in the dining room floor, but I can't stand clutter and I'm sure it would drive me crazy.
So since we moved across the country in December, my sister and mom threw a small "celebrate the baby/pregnancy/new mom to be" party (since it was way too early to consider it a shower) back in November so that my husband and I could see all of our close friends and family before we left and so we could celebrate this pregnancy with those we love before we move so far away. We got so much baby stuff, and I'm so so grateful. We've pretty much, over the past few months, have gotten most everything else we need for baby....and there's NO ROOM for it. Kids need a lot, man and we've got zero storage space in this new house. I got organizer bins for the nursery closet and have put most of what I could fit in there, and currently things like the baby bath, the few rattles/toys we have, the play mat, are all piled into the crib because I have nowhere else for them to go. WHERE THE HELL DO PEOPLE KEEP ALL THE BABY STUFF?! I walk in there to try and tackle the nursery to get it to looking how I want and there's a big eye sore of a stroller chilling in the corner. Haha. Here baby! Sleep atop of your baby stuff mountain, I promise it will be comfy!
I'm laughing like a lunatic at my desk and hoping no one notices. That visual, though...
Same issue...no idea where things are going to do. My house is still a giant game of Tetris while we reconfigure. The sad part is, we bought the house 1.5 years ago and totally thought it was enough room for us and kids. Wrong.
@ncm0328@swflJD We basically have storage baskets all over tucked into shelves or under the coffee table, etc. so that little things can be in the rooms that are most convenient. I have a hook that the playmat hangs on in the closet, and an industrial hook for the stroller to hang on in the garage when it's not in the trunk of the car. If you have a fire-door to the garage which is code in most places, it should be strong enough to support the weight of a stroller & you could get a door hanger. I use wrap carriers, so I just keep one in the diaper bag and the couple others in a bin in the closet. If you can add shelving upwards in the closets, do it-- or built-in shelves in the house anywhere whether on a wall, under stairs, etc. We just kept the infant carseat/bucket seat in our entrance hall beneath a console table; not a beautiful solution, but super convenient.
@swflJD@Aquinna82 seriously! It's a big problem. Thankfully, this house isn't one we purchased and is just one we were offered to "rent" through military housing, but we will be here awhile. I've had to get creative in every room of this place to find space, and we don't even have that much stuff! Whoever planned the layout and lack of storage in this house needs to go find a new job, because they suck. I've had to create pantry/cupboard space in the kitchen, I have no room for anything other than like 8 rolls of toilet paper in each bathroom and it's tough to find space for everyday things for DH and I, now add on all this baby stuff and I'm going insane over here. I hate clutter too, but I realize that things that we use on a daily basis will be out and accessible, but I definitely don't want them out and accessible for the next 12 weeks just accumulating dust, and I need a home for things that aren't going to be used all the time. I guess I'd better make my brain start working so I can get creative, cause I need a solution! Sorry you ladies are dealing with the same problem!
@ncm0328@swflJD We basically have storage baskets all over tucked into shelves or under the coffee table, etc. so that little things can be in the rooms that are most convenient. I have a hook that the playmat hangs on in the closet, and an industrial hook for the stroller to hang on in the garage when it's not in the trunk of the car. If you have a fire-door to the garage which is code in most places, it should be strong enough to support the weight of a stroller & you could get a door hanger. I use wrap carriers, so I just keep one in the diaper bag and the couple others in a bin in the closet. If you can add shelving upwards in the closets, do it-- or built-in shelves in the house anywhere whether on a wall, under stairs, etc. We just kept the infant carseat/bucket seat in our entrance hall beneath a console table; not a beautiful solution, but super convenient.
Baskets and hooks will be your new best friends. We have zero storage outside of our apartment, no garage/attic but you learn to keep the essentials close by and tuck everything else away until you need it. Also sticking with only a few bigger items is key and constantly editing down the stuff you have to what you actually use.
We allocated one small corner of the living room for toys, bought bins and baskets to store everything in so it all has a "home" and toys aren't taking over the entire living room. We are lucky that our condo only has 2 apartments per floor and our neighbors have 2 kids, so we both just leave our strollers in the hallway until the building management yells at us.
I follow a bunch of running groups and I see the same thing there... Lots of injuries and health problems yet instead of asking their doctor if they should continue to run they ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet.... I don't get it either.
Just to play devil's advocate- I had bad hip and knee pain for years and all the doctors/physical therapists/chiropractors I went to were ZERO help. What finally helped me was talking to people online who had been through it themselves and experimenting on myself. Now I'm pain-free and more athletic than I've ever been (well, minus the whole pregnancy pain thing, but I'm slowly figuring out how to fix that, too).
And I feel like in that situation it's acceptable. For all I know some of the people I see may have situations similar to you so I probably shouldn't lump everyone into one boat, but I guess my main pet peeve is people who don't even attempt to see a doctor or specialist before they go on to ask non-professionals. I do Disney races some of the time and it seems like a lot of people on there just come there to avoid the bad news from going to the doctor. Some people say things like 'I know I sprained something really badly, it hurts really bad when I walk, and should probably go to the doctor, but can I run anyway? I don't want them to say I can't run my race this weekend...' . Stuff like that bothers me... Not the people who make a concerted effort.
Rant: Oh, and there is major TMI - be warned. Really, I just need to get this out, sorry.
So MH had a man-cold this weekend and yesterday. He stayed home from work and was in bed all day, convalescing. I was the dutiful nurse-wife and took care of him while being careful to keep my son and myself from getting sick. Well, lo and behold, he was feeling 100% today! Hooray! So, I was able to finally realize I have been having persistent diarrhea and stomach cramps for the past 3 days without stop. And when I say diarrhea, I mean "run as fast as you can the second you feel a slight rumble or face the consequences". I can't tell you how many close calls I have had at work so far this week. My bum is burning and I feel weak and shaky. I don't dare take my temperature because even if it is elevated, I can't take any more time off work. I have felt nauseated, but no actual throw-up since I haven't had much of an appetite. Instead, I just drink water and coconut water for electrolytes and have even started finishing off my son's Pedialyte he needed for like 2 days when he had loose BMs last week. So, I think that sufficiently sets the stage-
This morning, MH bounds out of bed, bright eyed and bushy tailed from his day off and happily occupies the bathroom...for like 20 minutes! I can hear his phone making beeping noises so I know he is either texting or playing a game or something. Meanwhile, I feel the tell-tale rumble and have to weigh my options: grab a robe quick and see if I can make it downstairs without leaving a trail, bang on the door and hope he can hop off the upstairs toilet in time, or Melissa McCarthy it and let it go in the sink or tub. I decide to use all my strength to hold it in for a few more minutes until I hear the toilet flush and then run into the bathroom as fast as I can. While I am releasing all the demons from my bowels, MH chirps that he is going into work late so he can vote and proceeds to leisurely brush his teeth, throwing me a disgusted look every so often. I gasp "Can you please just get our son dressed for school? I may be in here a while..." He groans and ambles out. To his credit, he was able to put the clothes on our child (of course, I had laid them out last night so it really didn't take any effort, but whatever). Then he wanders downstairs while my son toddles into the bathroom offering wonderful commentary like "Mama is sitting on the potty. Ooops, she farted! Mama is stinky!" So I holler to MH to get my son and give him some milk and something to eat. By now, it is 7:20am and my son needs to be at school at 7:30am and I need to be at work at 7:45am, probably earlier since I had scheduled my hearing and vision screening makeups for 1st and 2nd grade this morning. MH pretends he couldn't hear and heaves his non-pregnant body up the stairs and dramatically stops at the bathroom door, holding his nose and gagging. I repeat that our son needs to have his shoes on, milk in a sippy cup, and a banana or something to eat. At this point, I am still in my PJs so I quickly decide I have evacuated enough and throw on an outfit from the clean laundry pile (I think...). I run a brush through my hair and stumble down the stairs to find MH and son building a train track in the playroom. No shoes, no breakfast, nothing. Since it is now 7:30am I inform MH that I cannot drive our son to school so he will need to take him before he goes to vote (mind you, our polling location is across the street from our son's school). More grumbling and huffing and puffing from MH about how he will have to move the car seat from his car to his mother's car (which he has because his isn't running) and he concocts this ridiculous plan to drive both my son to school and myself to work in my car and then catch a bus from my work to our house so he can get his mother's car and drive to vote and work. I just look at him in complete bafflement and say "No. You will drop our son off at school in your mother's car using the car seat from your car. Then go vote. And then go to work. I need to leave now."
I haven't checked in on them yet a) because I have been super busy (I started typing this at 8:05 and am just posting it now at 10:40) and b) I don't want to know if something went awry. I don't have the strength or mental fortitude to handle any "obstacles" that may have come up since I made a plan for my grown husband to do one extra thing to help out this morning.
I follow a bunch of running groups and I see the same thing there... Lots of injuries and health problems yet instead of asking their doctor if they should continue to run they ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet.... I don't get it either.
Just to play devil's advocate- I had bad hip and knee pain for years and all the doctors/physical therapists/chiropractors I went to were ZERO help. What finally helped me was talking to people online who had been through it themselves and experimenting on myself. Now I'm pain-free and more athletic than I've ever been (well, minus the whole pregnancy pain thing, but I'm slowly figuring out how to fix that, too).
And I feel like in that situation it's acceptable. For all I know some of the people I see may have situations similar to you so I probably shouldn't lump everyone into one boat, but I guess my main pet peeve is people who don't even attempt to see a doctor or specialist before they go on to ask non-professionals. I do Disney races some of the time and it seems like a lot of people on there just come there to avoid the bad news from going to the doctor. Some people say things like 'I know I sprained something really badly, it hurts really bad when I walk, and should probably go to the doctor, but can I run anyway? I don't want them to say I can't run my race this weekend...' . Stuff like that bothers me... Not the people who make a concerted effort.
re: belly button -- mine's been totally flat for like six weeks now. I think it's just beginning to pop out now (at 29 weeks) but when I lie flat on my back, it goes back to its normal "innie" shape because the pressure against it is gone.
Before getting knocked up, I always thought your belly button would just pop out one day, like one of those buttons that just goes "ping!" when you open a sealed jam jar, but apparently it's a much slower process than that in real life.
Just another tiny illusion shattered, I guess.
Same here!! I didn't realize it was a gradual process
Mama to Three Girls: Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!
Just a vent. My SIL just texted me to tell me she's getting married next year. I call her my SIL because she is the mother of my brother's child and was dating him when he died. And yeah, life goes on and she should totally move on. But I still feel really weird and sick to my stomach and my heart is racing right now. She started dating someone about 6 months ago and I guess I thought I'd have a little more time to adjust. It's a lot.
Baby hiccups happening right now! This is the second time I have gotten them. My first baby had them all the time. I think they're so weird:)
I loved baby hiccups with my first! It's fun if you were with a random family member that pesters you to feel baby kick, because I felt like with kicks they were so random and I would say "the baby is kicking!" and they would put a hand on my belly and then nothing ... but with hiccups it's more predictable so less awkward hand on your belly for nothing moments
So I thought I'd post this here so I don't clog the board with another vent session but I need to get this out before I explode and start crying... again. I'll try to make it short but I need to vent.
This has been an ongoing thing for some time but lately I can't handle it. My SO and I both work full time.. well I get home before him and I swear I do 90% of the house work 100% of the time. When I get home at 5pm I do not get off my feet until about 730/8pm and then its time for bed.
Last night as soon as he comes in the door he starts complaining that the house smelled funny. I told him I just took the trash out... and he's like no, it smells like dogs. (we have 3... technically they are mine and I had them long before him and I got together) so anyway.. I tried to ignore it. He then makes a comment about how he's starving since I didn't pack him breakfast in his lunch and that it was an "implied task"... I also tried letting this slide... so then I go to heat up dinner (left overs) I take him his plate and its cold.. so he asked me to put it back in the microwave for 2 min. Well I didn't put it in that long for fear it would get nasty and overheat.. I put it in about 50 seconds and put it back on the table. He stated again it was STILL cold and why can't I follow simple directions and put it in for 2 minutes like he asked me to? So as I walk back to the microwave I put the plate in for TWO MINUTES and did not give one shit if the food caught on fire.. I sat there listening to it sizzle and pop as tears are running down my face because how mean he was being. This went on literally all night. Nothing I did was right or good enough. I only get my flaws noticed.
Skip to today... I just emailed him telling him I wont have time to cook tonight because once I get home we have to turn around and leave in about 50 min to an hour and I still have to change and take care of the dogs so my plan is to stop by fast food and pick up something on the way.... his reply was "Of course!" to which I responded "was that sarcasm?" and he replied, "definitely". So I then just emailed back and asked what his suggestion for dinner was???? I don't know if its me and hormones but I seriously can't take much more of this. I bust my ass EVERY SINGLE DAY and he never sees or acknowledges it. I can't do this much longer and I don't know how to fix it. I just want to cry!!
Man what. That guy is being completely unreasonable and an absolute dick. He can't microwave his own stupid plate? Does he not have hands? Actually, I don't even care if he doesn't have hands, he can push the button with his nose.
There is no excuse for his behavior. You should not have to deal with that.
So I thought I'd post this here so I don't clog the board with another vent session but I need to get this out before I explode and start crying... again. I'll try to make it short but I need to vent.
This has been an ongoing thing for some time but lately I can't handle it. My SO and I both work full time.. well I get home before him and I swear I do 90% of the house work 100% of the time. When I get home at 5pm I do not get off my feet until about 730/8pm and then its time for bed.
Last night as soon as he comes in the door he starts complaining that the house smelled funny. I told him I just took the trash out... and he's like no, it smells like dogs. (we have 3... technically they are mine and I had them long before him and I got together) so anyway.. I tried to ignore it. He then makes a comment about how he's starving since I didn't pack him breakfast in his lunch and that it was an "implied task"... I also tried letting this slide... so then I go to heat up dinner (left overs) I take him his plate and its cold.. so he asked me to put it back in the microwave for 2 min. Well I didn't put it in that long for fear it would get nasty and overheat.. I put it in about 50 seconds and put it back on the table. He stated again it was STILL cold and why can't I follow simple directions and put it in for 2 minutes like he asked me to? So as I walk back to the microwave I put the plate in for TWO MINUTES and did not give one shit if the food caught on fire.. I sat there listening to it sizzle and pop as tears are running down my face because how mean he was being. This went on literally all night. Nothing I did was right or good enough. I only get my flaws noticed.
Skip to today... I just emailed him telling him I wont have time to cook tonight because once I get home we have to turn around and leave in about 50 min to an hour and I still have to change and take care of the dogs so my plan is to stop by fast food and pick up something on the way.... his reply was "Of course!" to which I responded "was that sarcasm?" and he replied, "definitely". So I then just emailed back and asked what his suggestion for dinner was???? I don't know if its me and hormones but I seriously can't take much more of this. I bust my ass EVERY SINGLE DAY and he never sees or acknowledges it. I can't do this much longer and I don't know how to fix it. I just want to cry!!
No, I don't think you are being hormonal, but I do think that hormones might be letting you see what is going on and how freaking unfair it is. Obviously I don't know you and all I know of your relationship is what you share with us. But this guy sounds like a brat. I think he needs a strong dose of reality before the baby comes. Is he going to expect you to do everything around the house, plus work, plus take care of the baby? Why can't he get off of his ass and remicrowave his food if it is not hot enough for him? Does he not know how to use a microwave? And then to berate you?!?! And he can't pack his own lunch or get take out if you failed to do this "implied task"? I'm sorry, and I hate to say this, but he seems to be displaying some attributes of a chauvinistic pig and you shouldn't have to put up with that. If it is bothering you, you need to set him down NOW and get this straightened out before more responsibility is put on your plate. Because when baby comes, he will need to learn to microwave his own food, as baby will take priority. He is about ready to have a baby. It is time he stops acting like one!
@yogahh@merciel I don't know why he is like this and we have had some small talks about the way he talks to me but I guess its time for another, long one. I just can't handle it anymore and I get my feelings SO hurt all the time. It definitely concerns me with what expectations will be once LO arrives but I can promise you I will NOT be able to continue doing everything I do now plus taking care of her. She will be my first priority. I'm just so tired... this is exhausting me physically, mentally and emotionally.
Hugs @kp90. I don't think it's up to you to fix this. What is he doing for you? From your posts, it doesn't seem like he is even emotionally supportive. If you both want this relationship for the long haul, I have some suggestions (take or leave!) or at least things to consider. Try having a calm, honest talk about how his actions make you feel and what you need to see from him (out of fairness, he should get a turn also, but he should be prepared that it isn't the time to nit pick). If the conversation isn't productive, pause and try again later. Don't push through if it's not working because that will just lead to more tears. Try doing away with "implied tasks" too; they really only cause trouble because of mixed expectations. I'm personally in favor of a better division of labor--at least one that works for you guys-- because your current division clearly isn't working for either of you. DH and I aren't as great as 50-50, but we both pitch in, and we have each other's backs on days when one needs more support than the other. I'm concerned for you and your baby that your SO doesn't seem to show much compassion. Even if he's going to be finicky, it's unreasonable to push you beyond tears.
@kp90 I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I have to echo what PP have said, your SO is behaving like a child and you should not have to put up with it. He needs to grow up.He can prepare his own lunches with
breakfast and microwave his own effing dinner. You are supposed to be
partner and loved one, not his servant. Would he ever go to counseling? I worry that he doesn't listen to you and maybe having an unbiased third party there to mediate would help. It is unacceptable for him to berate you, pregnant or not.
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for May 2016**
Do you participate in Run the Year by any chance? Because some days I think about leaving that group because of the silliness. Some gems from there include "I posted something and no one "liked" it so I posted it again and still no one "liked" it so now I'm sulking and threatening to leave the group because no one will support my life by making a meaningless mouse click on a random facebook post." Gahhh GO AWAY THEN. Or, "sitting in the ER with my mom because she had a heart attack this afternoon." Okayyy...did she have a heart attack while running? Did you run to the hospital? I'm generally not an insensitive bitch but why is this on a runner's feed and not on your personal facebook where people who actually...um, know you and your mom...can see it?
Whew. Sorry. I'm quite ranty today.
i have a friend who is 14 weeks and she says she feels good. I'm basically the troll that tells her "wait...it becomes horrible again"
also, this may be a weird question but when does the belly button pop out? I'm very nervous about it for some reason and am wondering if it will even happen for me since I have such a deep belly button to begin with.
Before getting knocked up, I always thought your belly button would just pop out one day, like one of those buttons that just goes "ping!" when you open a sealed jam jar, but apparently it's a much slower process than that in real life.
Just another tiny illusion shattered, I guess.
- Assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I will feel up to going to some friends' wedding two weeks later? Baby would not attend; would be baby-sat by ILs or parents.
- Again assuming I give birth on my EDD, how likely is it that I'll feel up to going to concert three weeks later? Flight of the Conchords is going to be in Milwaukee and the thought of missing them makes me sad.
A positive spin on a big faux pas, I suppose, but I'm sure your friend wasnt being thoughtless or dismissive, and I'm sure she's sorry not to be there. Because she is your friend, I'm assuming the best!
DS: Born 5-17-16
I feel okay too, but I'm only 28 weeks. I don't have energy though, for the most part. I'm used to that though! I was anemic for a while before I got pregnant so I was pretty much always tired anyway.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!STMs: Where did/do you store your stroller, baby carrier, and other larger items when not in use? We could always set them in the foyer by the door or in the dining room floor, but I can't stand clutter and I'm sure it would drive me crazy.
Same issue...no idea where things are going to do. My house is still a giant game of Tetris while we reconfigure. The sad part is, we bought the house 1.5 years ago and totally thought it was enough room for us and kids. Wrong.
We allocated one small corner of the living room for toys, bought bins and baskets to store everything in so it all has a "home" and toys aren't taking over the entire living room. We are lucky that our condo only has 2 apartments per floor and our neighbors have 2 kids, so we both just leave our strollers in the hallway until the building management yells at us.
So MH had a man-cold this weekend and yesterday. He stayed home from work and was in bed all day, convalescing. I was the dutiful nurse-wife and took care of him while being careful to keep my son and myself from getting sick. Well, lo and behold, he was feeling 100% today! Hooray! So, I was able to finally realize I have been having persistent diarrhea and stomach cramps for the past 3 days without stop. And when I say diarrhea, I mean "run as fast as you can the second you feel a slight rumble or face the consequences". I can't tell you how many close calls I have had at work so far this week. My bum is burning and I feel weak and shaky. I don't dare take my temperature because even if it is elevated, I can't take any more time off work. I have felt nauseated, but no actual throw-up since I haven't had much of an appetite. Instead, I just drink water and coconut water for electrolytes and have even started finishing off my son's Pedialyte he needed for like 2 days when he had loose BMs last week. So, I think that sufficiently sets the stage-
This morning, MH bounds out of bed, bright eyed and bushy tailed from his day off and happily occupies the bathroom...for like 20 minutes! I can hear his phone making beeping noises so I know he is either texting or playing a game or something. Meanwhile, I feel the tell-tale rumble and have to weigh my options: grab a robe quick and see if I can make it downstairs without leaving a trail, bang on the door and hope he can hop off the upstairs toilet in time, or Melissa McCarthy it and let it go in the sink or tub. I decide to use all my strength to hold it in for a few more minutes until I hear the toilet flush and then run into the bathroom as fast as I can. While I am releasing all the demons from my bowels, MH chirps that he is going into work late so he can vote and proceeds to leisurely brush his teeth, throwing me a disgusted look every so often. I gasp "Can you please just get our son dressed for school? I may be in here a while..." He groans and ambles out. To his credit, he was able to put the clothes on our child (of course, I had laid them out last night so it really didn't take any effort, but whatever). Then he wanders downstairs while my son toddles into the bathroom offering wonderful commentary like "Mama is sitting on the potty. Ooops, she farted! Mama is stinky!" So I holler to MH to get my son and give him some milk and something to eat. By now, it is 7:20am and my son needs to be at school at 7:30am and I need to be at work at 7:45am, probably earlier since I had scheduled my hearing and vision screening makeups for 1st and 2nd grade this morning. MH pretends he couldn't hear and heaves his non-pregnant body up the stairs and dramatically stops at the bathroom door, holding his nose and gagging. I repeat that our son needs to have his shoes on, milk in a sippy cup, and a banana or something to eat. At this point, I am still in my PJs so I quickly decide I have evacuated enough and throw on an outfit from the clean laundry pile (I think...). I run a brush through my hair and stumble down the stairs to find MH and son building a train track in the playroom. No shoes, no breakfast, nothing. Since it is now 7:30am I inform MH that I cannot drive our son to school so he will need to take him before he goes to vote (mind you, our polling location is across the street from our son's school). More grumbling and huffing and puffing from MH about how he will have to move the car seat from his car to his mother's car (which he has because his isn't running) and he concocts this ridiculous plan to drive both my son to school and myself to work in my car and then catch a bus from my work to our house so he can get his mother's car and drive to vote and work. I just look at him in complete bafflement and say "No. You will drop our son off at school in your mother's car using the car seat from your car. Then go vote. And then go to work. I need to leave now."
I haven't checked in on them yet a) because I have been super busy (I started typing this at 8:05 and am just posting it now at 10:40) and b) I don't want to know if something went awry. I don't have the strength or mental fortitude to handle any "obstacles" that may have come up since I made a plan for my grown husband to do one extra thing to help out this morning.
Same here!! I didn't realize it was a gradual process
Mama to Three Girls:
Twins born March 2014 at 26 weeks due to preterm labor
and our 37weeker born May 9th, 2016!
BFP 1: 9/15/2013 | DD 5/23/2014
BFP 2: 9/15/2015 | EDD 5/26/2016
So I thought I'd post this here so I don't clog the board with another vent session but I need to get this out before I explode and start crying... again. I'll try to make it short but I need to vent.
This has been an ongoing thing for some time but lately I can't handle it. My SO and I both work full time.. well I get home before him and I swear I do 90% of the house work 100% of the time. When I get home at 5pm I do not get off my feet until about 730/8pm and then its time for bed.
Last night as soon as he comes in the door he starts complaining that the house smelled funny. I told him I just took the trash out... and he's like no, it smells like dogs. (we have 3... technically they are mine and I had them long before him and I got together) so anyway.. I tried to ignore it. He then makes a comment about how he's starving since I didn't pack him breakfast in his lunch and that it was an "implied task"... I also tried letting this slide... so then I go to heat up dinner (left overs) I take him his plate and its cold.. so he asked me to put it back in the microwave for 2 min. Well I didn't put it in that long for fear it would get nasty and overheat.. I put it in about 50 seconds and put it back on the table. He stated again it was STILL cold and why can't I follow simple directions and put it in for 2 minutes like he asked me to? So as I walk back to the microwave I put the plate in for TWO MINUTES and did not give one shit if the food caught on fire.. I sat there listening to it sizzle and pop as tears are running down my face because how mean he was being. This went on literally all night. Nothing I did was right or good enough. I only get my flaws noticed.
Skip to today... I just emailed him telling him I wont have time to cook tonight because once I get home we have to turn around and leave in about 50 min to an hour and I still have to change and take care of the dogs so my plan is to stop by fast food and pick up something on the way.... his reply was "Of course!" to which I responded "was that sarcasm?" and he replied, "definitely". So I then just emailed back and asked what his suggestion for dinner was???? I don't know if its me and hormones but I seriously can't take much more of this. I bust my ass EVERY SINGLE DAY and he never sees or acknowledges it. I can't do this much longer and I don't know how to fix it. I just want to cry!!
There is no excuse for his behavior. You should not have to deal with that.