Things my MIL says - Page 3 — The Bump
November 2015 Moms

Things my MIL says

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Re: Things my MIL says

  • It's really things my MIL doesn't say. We are 18 weeks today and she hasn't asked how I was one time or asked one question about the baby. Our gender reveal is this weekend and they aren't even coming! I mean, I would rather not have them there but I feel so sorry for DH. He knows his Mom is so awkward and selfish. If you aren't talking about anything that has to do with her then she could care less. This is her first Grandchild for goodness sakes and she is so disconnected. I got fed up last week after they said they weren't coming to the reveal and told my DH that he can handle them from now on. I'm done. I'll do my little part and send her sonogram pics but that's it. When I'm around his family I'm not even going to say anything about me being pregnant. I know, I would rather have her like then then all up in my business calling it her baby and stuff but it's crazy how rude she is. I could go on and on about how weird she is. Let's just put it like this...she doesn't shave her armpits and wears sleeveless shirts!!!! I call her T-Rex lol, because that is the best description of her personality.. bow down or she will bite your head off. Luckily, I'm not scared of dinosaurs! lol

    You are nice, I wouldn't even send sonogram pictures if they didn't seem interested.

    modanz1Cook3133rossi25doodleoodle
  • My MIL is ok most of the time, but she tells me old wives tales ALL the time. "Don't raise your hands above your head or the cord will wrap around the baby's neck." She won't let me do ANYTHING when I'm with her. I can't pick up anything if its on the ground, I can't move chairs, I can't do anything without her telling me not to over do it. She really wants a girl, but after I told her we weren't going to find out, she has tried to keep her mouth shut, but she still gets excited about baby girl things and says stuff like "oh it would be so cute on your baby if its a little girl." 

    She is really helpful and has been surprisingly supportive about us going the natural midwife route. It's just the little things that are outdated, old ways of thinking that bother me. As far as MIL's go, I think I got pretty lucky. 
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  • Mine just wants to live with us after the baby is born. Like sooo bad.
    My mother tho...she's the interesting one. She asks for a bump photo every day and if I don't answer the phone when she calls, she automatically thinks I'm in danger and that something bad happened to the baby. Crazy women.

    I believe we are long lost sisters! My mom is getting a bit better but always wants pics of my daughter and belly and if I miss a phone call I'm clearly dead in a ditch or murdered somewhere! She worries so much, the last couple years she has gotten a little better!
    oorl11052015
  • It's really things my MIL doesn't say. We are 18 weeks today and she hasn't asked how I was one time or asked one question about the baby. Our gender reveal is this weekend and they aren't even coming! I mean, I would rather not have them there but I feel so sorry for DH. He knows his Mom is so awkward and selfish. If you aren't talking about anything that has to do with her then she could care less. This is her first Grandchild for goodness sakes and she is so disconnected. I got fed up last week after they said they weren't coming to the reveal and told my DH that he can handle them from now on. I'm done. I'll do my little part and send her sonogram pics but that's it. When I'm around his family I'm not even going to say anything about me being pregnant. I know, I would rather have her like then then all up in my business calling it her baby and stuff but it's crazy how rude she is. I could go on and on about how weird she is. Let's just put it like this...she doesn't shave her armpits and wears sleeveless shirts!!!! I call her T-Rex lol, because that is the best description of her personality.. bow down or she will bite your head off. Luckily, I'm not scared of dinosaurs! lol

    I'm sorry it seems like she doesn't care but I can promise you she does.
    I really wouldn't hold not making your sex reveal against her though.
    I understand why you would hope she would feel compelled to go but she may see it as excessive and figures she's probably going to your baby shower so she doesn't see it as a big deal.
    She'll still find out the sex and events like sex reveals weren't done in her time and I still don't see them as the norm now either.
    It's not like she's missing your baby shower or won't be there once your lo is born.
    She may also not know what to ask about your pregnancy without being intrusive.
    bboldery84
  • jamiem522 said:
    I'm so tired of families in general right now. We've chosen to take Bradley Method and take the natural approach and our family just makes fun of it and thinks it's ridiculous that were doing it. My SIL just had a baby last year and chose epidural, I never once told her about the possible complications or told her she was making the wrong decision (which I don't believe it is- it's just not the route I feel safest with) it's just BS. It makes me want to just distance is from them because I'm tired of feeling judged and made to feel stupid. Ugh. Okay, feeling slightly better
    Ugh, I wish you luck with this. All of my in-laws think I'm bsc simply because I want to wait to decide when/if I'm getting an epidural. I have nothing against epidurals, I don't plan on going in insisting on having one. I absolutely cannot fathom making fun of someone's birth plan because it's different than the route you chose. I know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you. At least DH sounds like he's on board with you.



    modanz1jamiem522
  • It's really things my MIL doesn't say. We are 18 weeks today and she hasn't asked how I was one time or asked one question about the baby. Our gender reveal is this weekend and they aren't even coming! I mean, I would rather not have them there but I feel so sorry for DH. He knows his Mom is so awkward and selfish. If you aren't talking about anything that has to do with her then she could care less. This is her first Grandchild for goodness sakes and she is so disconnected. I got fed up last week after they said they weren't coming to the reveal and told my DH that he can handle them from now on. I'm done. I'll do my little part and send her sonogram pics but that's it. When I'm around his family I'm not even going to say anything about me being pregnant. I know, I would rather have her like then then all up in my business calling it her baby and stuff but it's crazy how rude she is. I could go on and on about how weird she is. Let's just put it like this...she doesn't shave her armpits and wears sleeveless shirts!!!! I call her T-Rex lol, because that is the best description of her personality.. bow down or she will bite your head off. Luckily, I'm not scared of dinosaurs! lol

    I'm sorry it seems like she doesn't care but I can promise you she does.
    I really wouldn't hold not making your sex reveal against her though.
    I understand why you would hope she would feel compelled to go but she may see it as excessive and figures she's probably going to your baby shower so she doesn't see it as a big deal.
    She'll still find out the sex and events like sex reveals weren't done in her time and I still don't see them as the norm now either.
    It's not like she's missing your baby shower or won't be there once your lo is born.
    She may also not know what to ask about your pregnancy without being intrusive.
    Oh how I wish my MIL had regard for anyone else's feelings but hers. She is truly evil, all my friends that have awful MIL's meet mine and tell me they are thankful for theirs lol. I couldn't possibly start to name all of the evil and selfish things she has done to us over my 8 year relationship with DH. It would be a novel. Not asking about me, because she feels like it might be intrusive? That would require her thinking about somebody else, something she is clearly not capable of. Please understand, I'm not judging her on these latest acts alone... It has been a culmination of actions that have lead to my feelings against her. We have my brothers single guy friends coming to our reveal... Are they coming because they really care about the sex of my baby? No, they are coming because I grew up with them, consider them family and they care to show us their support. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I don't think it's outrageous for my husband to expect his parents there. I honestly can't say that deep down I know she cares, because if she does she sure has a funny way of showing it!


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    Cook3133mego14
  • skabanak said:

    It's really things my MIL doesn't say. We are 18 weeks today and she hasn't asked how I was one time or asked one question about the baby. Our gender reveal is this weekend and they aren't even coming! I mean, I would rather not have them there but I feel so sorry for DH. He knows his Mom is so awkward and selfish. If you aren't talking about anything that has to do with her then she could care less. This is her first Grandchild for goodness sakes and she is so disconnected. I got fed up last week after they said they weren't coming to the reveal and told my DH that he can handle them from now on. I'm done. I'll do my little part and send her sonogram pics but that's it. When I'm around his family I'm not even going to say anything about me being pregnant. I know, I would rather have her like then then all up in my business calling it her baby and stuff but it's crazy how rude she is. I could go on and on about how weird she is. Let's just put it like this...she doesn't shave her armpits and wears sleeveless shirts!!!! I call her T-Rex lol, because that is the best description of her personality.. bow down or she will bite your head off. Luckily, I'm not scared of dinosaurs! lol

    You are nice, I wouldn't even send sonogram pictures if they didn't seem interested.

    Well I have my reasons. She's the kind of person that will complain if DH doesn't call her enough, but she NEVER bothers to pick up the phone and call him. So I'm doing this small part that way she can't say later that I left her out and didn't include her.

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    Cook3133skabanak
  • No he hasn't said a word, except to make excuses for them and how they didn't mean it like I took it. I am finally giving in and going over to visit today, but no long drawn out dinners for me in the foreseeable future.
    Caffrey54
  • "Are you tired? You look tired."

    No, thank you, not in the least.
  • My mil to be said she plans on "stealing" the baby on weekends so we could go out.....a date night here and there is great and a few hours appreciated but a whole weekend?! No......plus I am a mom who greatly enjoys time witb my children and don't want or need her to steal my baby away.
    mamabear11515lovearoo
  • Jaimee1017Jaimee1017 member
    edited July 2015
    My MIL is such a nice person (most the time) but drives me crazy about baby haha. We already had first and middle names picked for both a boy and girl and she told me that she's disappointed we're not putting a family name in it. She told me to name a girl Aries (even though that's my cats name) and tried to get DH to change his last name to hers (he has his dads) so that her grandchildren all have something in common.

    She hated the idea of a gender reveal party because she needed to know what the baby was to get her family to buy him presents haha. Such a nice thought but sometimes her opinions are so annoying.

    Haha oh no this is more of a rant. (Rant over)
    oorl11052015UseTheTriforce94
  • My MIL is such a nice person (most the time) but drives me crazy about baby haha. We already had first and middle names picked for both a boy and girl and she told me that she's disappointed we're not putting a family name in it. She told me to name a girl Aries (even though that's my cats name) and tried to get DH to change his last name to hers (he has his dads) so that her grandchildren all have something in common.

    She hated the idea of a gender reveal party because she needed to know what the baby was to get her family to buy him presents haha. Such a nice thought but sometimes her opinions are so annoying.

    Haha oh no this is more of a rant. (Rant over)


    My mother in law told us today she hated our sons name.. Then couldn't give us any names that she liked.. Therefore I win this round lol
    skabanakdoodleoodleUseTheTriforce94
  • We ACTUALLY call my MIL 'Marie' from Everybody loves Raymond!! Fortunately, she realizes she is an interfering so and so and finds it funny, but she just can't help herself!!
    Every sentence starts with 'can I just suggest?'...
    Yes you may suggest, I will listen politely and then totally discard said suggestion. Do not enforce it!!!
    We had a new puppy a few weeks ago, she doesn't like the name we chose for him... She DARE pass comment on baby's name when he arrives, I won't be responsible for my actions!!!
    cmsullivan2

  • Every sentence starts with 'can I just suggest?'...
    Yes you may suggest, I will listen politely and then totally discard said suggestion. Do not enforce it!!!

    Lol. My mom does this all the time! DH and I laugh about it.
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    oorl11052015UseTheTriforce94
  • scw89scw89 member
    My MIL: "you guys have a lot of expensive stuff on your registry"--- of 140 items, 5 are between 150-350. 10 are between 100-150 and the other 125 are all 50 dollars and under!!!! And people don't have to buy the expensive stuff! we put it there because Babies R Us gives us 10% back in a gift card!
    oorl11052015
  • @VexyMommy :)) That's cracked me up!
  • VexyMommy said:

    This is actually more of a funny thing, but I had to shake my head over it.  My MIL wanted to take the kids out last weekend to the movies.  She looked at the posters and tried to decide which of the children's movies would be best.  She and the kids debated between Ted and Inside Out.  Finally she called us to settle the debate because she worried Inside Out might be a little mature and the movie about a teddy bear who came to life seemed to be better for kids. 

    A) The girls are 9 and 10.  Inside Out is perfect for their maturity level.  B) I love that Ted was the better choice for kids.  ROFL.  If it weren't my kids going through the experience, I would have kind of enjoyed having her try to explain the various scenes in Ted to two little girls.  

    @VexyMommy we just watched this clip from Ted last night as we were debating girl names! The amount of cursing in this one clip makes me so thankful your MIL called you for the decision making!!


  • My in laws didn't come to the gender reveal, so when my SIL texted them the video showing we were having a girl her only reaction was "that's awesome." No call, no super excited text. Just to put things in perspective, ALL of his siblings either came to the party or called or sent is a sweet text after we found out. Hubby also talked to her for the first time since we found out she is a she and she didn't even say ANYTHING about the baby. Most Grandparents to be are over the moon excited. This one, is just so cold hearted. And I've decuded I'm not sending her the U.S. pics. DH can if he wants to but as far as I'm concerned she has drawn the line in the sand.

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    oorl11052015
  • My MIL says I should be induced on a Tuesday so she doesn't miss any football games. She's also throwing me a separate "baby shower" because September is football season. I say "baby shower" because it's actually a cocktail party (her words, not mine) for her friends to come over since she's never thrown a party in her current house.
    ashes0601nursewhoCarrieOct15UseTheTriforce94
  • My MIL told me having my daughter on a Thursday was best for her schedule so she could stay with us the weekend...who invited you???? I'm sorry shouldn't we figure this out ourselves?? I'll be sure to deliver that message to my unborn child #letshabeheronaMondayNow
    UseTheTriforce94
  • My MIL is constantly comparing me to her granddaughter who is pregnant(she's weeks behind me but a very different body type ) everything is well she's bigger than you, she sent me blank amounts of pictures, I bought her this, etc.
    UseTheTriforce94
  • ashes0601 said:
    Lol
    Wtf??  So strange.
    YCSWU 



    ashes0601
  • My MIL has been good about the baby, but she's pretty psycho none the less.

    My husband and I are going on a MUCH needed 11-day vacation (going to a wedding, visiting family and friends, seeing Niagra Falls for the babymoon portion...). His mother requires that we get together for every. single. birthday/holiday. She talked to my husband's brother about when they should do my niece and nephew's birthdays (both in July and she has finally conceded that it's ok to do both their birthdays together instead of getting together twice in July)... we told her that we would be leaving on vacation on the 17th and that we would be at a wedding 12 hours away on Saturday the 18th. She decided with my brother in law that we should celebrate on (you guessed it) the 18th. When my husband reminded her that we would be at a wedding, she told him that it was his brother's fault for not remembering... not that we were in on the planning process or anything because we never are... not even for our own birthdays.

    We also went with her to a funeral a few weeks ago and were part of the most obnoxious funeral procession ever - they would speed up to 45 then slow down to 15 mph then back up then back down, which made for a lot of uncontrollable head-bobbing. She started complaining about my husband's driving, and at one point he had to hit the brakes a little hard and she threw her hands forward to grab the back of my seat and pulled my hair. After that she spent the whole drive informing my husband when the cars were slowing down. Then she later told me that my pregnancy brain had gotten really bad because I mentioned that I hadn't noticed something. I had to bite my tongue so hard.
    lovearoo
  • edited July 2015

    Talking about staying with us when the baby comes. We never invited her! We already talked about my mom staying for a few days, but two moms would be too much.

    Mine is doing the same. She said "so I heard your mom is coming for the birth?" Well duh she's coming. It's her first granddaughter and she was by my side last year when the doctors told me I couldn't have children. "Oh so I should make hotel arrangements then because I guess your mom will be staying at the house?" If you choose to stay then yes that's what will need to happen. My mother is staying the whole first week! Ugh. She's here this week and she keeps telling me where I need to put stuff in my house and how I need to decorate it. And "the guest room this" and "the guest room that" 1. It's my house. I pay for it. If you want a say so in what goes in it, feel free to chip in on the payments. 2. I have a two bedroom house. A master and a second room. MY BABYS ROOM! Not a guest room.
    CarrieOct15nursewholovearoo
  • So the hospital called yesterday to schedule my c-section.  Being the planner that I am I called everyone that will be taking part in helping out with my son to let them know what day & try to work out a schedule for my son:)  My mom will have him for two days and my in-laws will have him Saturday & Sunday.  My MIL said to me, "I am going to be mean and not bring him to the hospital to see you or the baby, we just don't need to deal with him getting upset when he has to leave you!" REALLY?!?!  she knows how important it is for me that my son has that bonding time with the baby, so when we bring her home he isn't upset.  I was so upset all I wanted to do was cry, I told my husband he would need to deal with it!
    CarrieOct15nursewhoUseTheTriforce94
  • tyrannistyrannis member
    edited July 2015
    My MIL lives far far away from me. ( 11 hour flight). However every time my husband talks to her she insist that we should name of baby girl after her, or at least after her mother. We already have a name for our girl, but lately my husband has doubts. I know he wants to please me and his mother, but I'm not naming my baby after his mother.
    UseTheTriforce94
  • We had a family gathering over the weekend (H's family and mine including extended family). MIL decided to give us a little toast. It was fine until she called my by H's ex-wife's name. You could hear a pin drop in the room. My family and H were horrified. I know it was an accident, but seriously?! At least I now know for sure she preferred her. This is the same woman who has tried to one up me with pregnancy related issues. Lady, you had your last kid 30 years ago! 
    UseTheTriforce94
  • Alexis514 said:

    We had a family gathering over the weekend (H's family and mine including extended family). MIL decided to give us a little toast. It was fine until she called my by H's ex-wife's name. You could hear a pin drop in the room. My family and H were horrified. I know it was an accident, but seriously?! At least I now know for sure she preferred her. This is the same woman who has tried to one up me with pregnancy related issues. Lady, you had your last kid 30 years ago! 

    Ohh my... my MIL may be a pain in the butt and quite difficult, but that's just bad. I'm sorry she did that to you and acts that way! That's just awful, accident or not.
    UseTheTriforce94
  • My MIL is generally awesome but has been a little under my skin at times this preg. She is determined we're having a boy and refers to him by the name we've chosen every time she talks about the baby. We don't know sex yet. So every time she says "mason this" or "mason that" I say "or Mia" even tho we don't have a girl name. She also likes to talk about the night we conceived and tells us what day she thinks it is. We were there, we know exactly which day it was and its not the day she thinks. My own mother tho is the true PITA, she actually asked me if I was out of my mind when I told her we were expecting again. When DD was born she didn't come to the hospital until DD was 10 hrs old and even then only because DH hung up on her after she said she was going grocery shopping rather than meeting her first and only grandchild. I was in labor for 30 hrs, she had plenty of time to get to the hospital.
    wearethree
  • My mom was visiting this weekend and had some doozies: 1) you're so big! I think you got bigger in the last few hours. Hint mom- pregnant ladies don't usually like to hear how big they are and that they are growing at exponential rates. 2) when my husband told her the boy's name we were thinking of she didn't even miss a beat before saying she hoped it was a girl 3) kept calling it "her" baby and got mad when i corrected her. 4) keeps insisting I have the baby sleep in an antique cradle I don't feel comfortable with

    And she wonders why I don't want her staying with us immediately after the birth...
    fireflyb
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