There was a yard sale 2 doors down from my MIL last weekend that had a good deal of baby clothes. She bought several newborn onesies and when I was looking at them said that they will last him 3 or 4 months. I said that unless he was very small (he's 1 pound, 13 ounces now so survey says he won't be) it wouldn't fit him for quite that long and she just looked at me with pity in her eyes as if she was saying "oh, you stupid girl. You know nothing" because I'm a FTM so I just let it go and continued looking through the clothes. I came across a 9 month fleece sleeper and she said that "that will probably fit him around Christmas." I looked at her and said "he won't even be 2 whole months old at Christmas, he won't fit in a 9 month sleeper!" And she gives me the same "stupid girl" look and says you'd be surprised at how fast they grow. So apparently my son, due November 8th, will fit in both a newborn onesie and a 9 month sleeper at the same time. Later in the evening, she goes "so what are you naming this baby?" DH quickly replies with Dexter (she knows this, we've had it picked out since before knowing it was a boy) and she goes "I really wish you'd get over that name, it makes me think of that little cartoon boy with the laboratory" and I said "I love the name Jack, but hubs won't come around to it" and she mumbles under her breath "well, that's at least better than Dexter." .....I vented to my dad about this later that night and he said I should've said "well, what about the name bitch?" And I said "it isn't very often that boys are named after their grandmother." She seriously makes me want to jab a pen in my eye. More snarky comments were made during dinner (this was just in a 3 hour visit or so) but this post is long enough. She's such a peach. /:)
This may be my favorite topic. It's just nice to know others are going thru mil issues too. Last night I had a 10 min phone convo with mil. 1 she told me that my Emails are not friendly Enough or how a daughter in law should talk to her mil. (thanks that's just how I email) 2 she told me how big I look. She is scared to death over a big baby. 3 she told me we shouldn't have anymore kids. A big family is not "worth it". It's too stressful on her and she's the only reason I made it thru my first pregnancy. She lives 25 hrs away! She wasn't around anytime during my pregnancy. How was it due to her? I am a diabetic so my pregnancies are not without issue but so far everything has gone great. She cannot handle stress, but it's hard for me to have sympathy for her when it's me and my body. Shouldn't it be up to me and dh if we have more kids? Not based on how she handles stress? 4 she kept telling me I sound out of breath on the phone and she was freaking out that I should go to the hospital to check and make sure everything was ok... Um I'm pretty sure every pregnant woman on the face of the earth is out of breath when baby crowds her lungs! I tried to explain that but she wouldn't accept it. This was all in ten mins!
When my mil puts all of her ideas out there and shoots down my mothers wishes and then insists I live with her when myndaughter is born and then she gives all these normal girl names and tells me my ideas arent good names. Makes me so mad that she thinks she knows best and no one else does....but I love her and shes a good woman and I know shes just excited about her granddaughter. I guess ill just deal.
I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one to have a MIL who is as sweet as can be but still manage to drive me insane. 1. Referring to herself as "Mommy" to my husband and myself. 2.Generally treating and talking to my husband like he is 4. 3. Having a "poor me," weepy attitude if we don't spend every second of our time with her when we visit. (We live 5 hours away, thank goodness).
@3mily15 I think we have the same mother in law, except that mine lives 2 min away. Woe is me! She also refers to herself as mommy and to her husband as daddy. I have been married to DH for 3 years and have never called them that. Whenever I called them by their names she lightly hits me and corrects me. LADY, IT"S BEEN 3 YEARS - GET OVER IT! After DD was born last year I started referring to them as grandma and grandpa. I can deal with that better. She's a child in the body of a 50-something-year-old woman.
Today my MIL told me that I can't use the hot tub at the house she booked for my hubby's grandpa's memorial (on my hubby's birthday) because it's "not good for baby".
1) hot tubs at a lower temperature for short periods are fine (IMO)
2) it's not her job to determine what's good or not for my baby.
I didn't intend to boil my baby anyways. I just wanted to dip my sore feet and calves. sheesh.
@lopezalonso They do sound similar! I try not to be too bothered because my inlaws are actually both so kind to me and treat me like their own. The things that bothered me before just bother me 500 times worse right now! But what you said about being a child in a woman's body is SO accurate regardless!
My MIL drives me crazy. She is always overly emotional and has no idea when to stop texting or calling me. She doesnt listen to anything I say. I hate talking on the phone and ive told her that several times but she doesn't care. This pregnancy has made me very tired a lot and many times she wakes me from a much needed nap. This week she really got on my nerves and I'm tired of it. The woman causes me nothing but stress. There is no way I can have her here after the baby comes especially if I have a C section like the last time. It was hell having the in laws here when we got married. They wanted to stay for a while and I was like "are you serious? We never discussed that. Plus, we just got married...it's the honey moon phase and we're supposed to have our alone time together."...uuugh.... she's a hypochondriac, highly emotional, doesnt listen to a thing you say, keeps saying she wants to rub my belly but my husband had repeatedly told her I HATE that... it's like, 'listen lady, you aren't rubbing the baby, you are rubbing me and we aren't as close as you think'.... her neediness is what kills me. When my hubby and I first started dating she would call EVERY SINGLE DAY... AT LEAST THREE TIMES A DAY!... it drives me nuts. Also, if I don't respond to a text, bc I was NAPPING, she gets snippy and rude with me which I don't stand for. I'm sorry...she just really gets on my nerves and I needed to rant. I'm soooo glad they don't live close!
My MIL is a self centered hypochondriac who is incapable of thinking about anyone but herself. Last weekend she called a billion times complaining she had to call an ambulance and is in the hospital ( this happens every other week. She believes her blood pressure is rising or she's low on potassium and calls either the hospital or fire dept every time). When my husband called her a couple of hours after her frantic calls she was already home ( of course bc there's nothing ever wrong with her! She's not even on any medication although she's always looking for pain pills). She insisted my husband come to her house at once and take her to the pharmacy for over the counter medication. 5 hours of doting on her and she tells him she feels better & wants to see her only grandkid ( our son). She comes over & hubby's like well if mom wants to stay with the baby we can go out and run some errands. She immediately feigns intolerable sickness and says she must go home at once! Ugh I've just freakin had it. It's all about her & she really couldn't care less about her grand kids ( #2 on the way). She lives 10 mins away and has watched our son less than 4 times total in the last 19 months and hasn't ever pretended to like it. More like she calls incessantly asking when we'd be back. I just can't handle her anymore
My Father In Law cracks jokes that I'm getting fat so the last time he said it I said to him "Time for a new joke". He better take the hint to lay off calling a pregnant woman fat or else!
My husband's uncle did this to me. We were at a family party a couple of weeks ago and when I walked in he goes, "whoa, last time I saw you, you were all skinny and now look at you, you're fat and look like you swallowed a watermelon!" I knew he was joking because that's his thing but sometimes he just takes it too far with me. I told him to fuck off, it just fell right out and I still can't believe I said it. :-O
Not connected with MIL because honestly I started keeping distance from those who get under my skin since I've been pregnant - but I hate everytime I hear a baby cry someone says "that's your future" or "oh you just wait" or when you tell someone you're doing a natural birth and they pretty much tell you you'll never be able to humanly do that because they didn't .... Mind your own! Sheesh
technically she isn't my mil cause im not married to her son, and aren't even together at this point. she wont stop telling me how they want me to try all these different methods to induce labor because my due date is the same day as her other grandsons birthday who unfortunately is no longer with us. im scared to tell her i don't want to induce labor at all. i just want it to happen whenever its ment to happen. but other then that i love having her support especially since my mother passed less then 3 years ago its hard being its my first pregnancy and im still kinda young i need my mom so having his mom there for advice is very comforting.
Resurrecting my favorite thread because I finally have something to add. My MIL (who is not tiny either) just told me she hopes I don't have trouble flying in September because I'm so huge they might not believe that I am due in November... I responded with well my weight gain is right on track. She said "well that's good but you're definitely not tiny."
Thanks... But no thanks. I'm sorry your son is a huge person and this baby is probably going to be big too. And since it is hump day bump day here is my "huge" bump for reference of how annoying that statement was.
Edited:because I re-read that and sounded like a twat.
I was on the phone with my MIL the other day and she asked about how much weight I should be putting on. I told her around 15-25. She said I shouldn't be putting on any weight at all, and then continued to brag about how tiny she was with her two kids.
Sorry I'm not 110 pounds. I've only put on 12 pounds this entire pregnancy and I'm 29 weeks. Bitch.
I was on the phone with my MIL the other day and she asked about how much weight I should be putting on. I told her around 15-25. She said I shouldn't be putting on any weight at all, and then continued to brag about how tiny she was with her two kids.
Sorry I'm not 110 pounds. I've only put on 12 pounds this entire pregnancy and I'm 29 weeks. Bitch.
I'm with you, I'll never be pretty/thin enough for her son. I've put on 20# but seriously that's f-ing normal.
Omg my MIL asked me when I'll be beginning my work out regiment after I came home with baby #1. Are you kidding me???? I was so sick throughout the pregnancy I gained about 12 lbs total and actually weighed less after delivery than pre pregnancy. I'm not super thin but not heavy either. I felt like throwing her out of my house that same moment! Really love her ignorant, superficial, unsolicited advice
My MIL doesn't say things to me, but she says it to my mom. I'm sure knowing it will get back to me.
1. She read a study that kissing babies is really bad for them. That they can get germs that will potentially kill them.
This is so ridiculous. Babies need love. I get the germ thing, but if your healthy...kiss away. If your sick...don't come to my house.
2. I've always been an entrepreneur, I started my first "business" at 11 selling snacks at my brothers baseball games. Sold blackberries to grocery stores at 13, opened my first salon at 26. I now have my second salon and do hair/makeup full time (for now). Also, I am not a procrastinator, if I had an assignment in high school or college I got it done ASAP so it was off my plate. All of which my husband loves and admires about me.
However, my MIL, told my mom she hopes I don't pass these qualities on to our little girl. That it seems much too stressful for a child to be so determined.
I wasn't forced...this is my nature. I don't sit on my butt hoping for things to happen. I make them happen. Also, I'm not a stressed out person. Mostly bc I have my $#&? together.
I told my mom I think she is jealous bc her husband told her she had to be a stay at home mom. He lectured me about this and about how daycare kids are misbehaved. Mind you, our LO is being watched by my mom, MIL and me, not going to daycare. Which I don't actually see an issue with daycare personally. But it will be nice for her to bond with her grandma's.
Long rant. Sorry. The in laws can bug me bad with their narrow minded opinions of the world.
Because I have a gay uncle my MIL thinks my baby will be gay..... Yes this is real life. She takes the name monster in law to another level
I would just tell her "Isn't it great? I would be so happy if I had a healthy baby that turned out to be gay, and if you won't love our child if it's gay, then maybe you should stay away."
I was on the phone with my MIL the other day and she asked about how much weight I should be putting on. I told her around 15-25. She said I shouldn't be putting on any weight at all, and then continued to brag about how tiny she was with her two kids.
Sorry I'm not 110 pounds. I've only put on 12 pounds this entire pregnancy and I'm 29 weeks. Bitch.
My MIL questioned if I was putting enough on because she put over 100 on each pregnancy and I've only put on about 10. Well excuse me. Yeah, believe me, I certainly eat enough. It's just how my body works, and it's always been that way. Please don't act like there's something wrong with me because I have a feeling if the OB was concerned, they would bring it up.
Why do people think it's their place to comment on a pregnant woman's weight?! Seriously, lay off.
MH mentioned to MIL that we won't be attending Thanksgiving dinner this year bc baby is due on Nov 14, and we just anticipate that he will still be too young to be around so many people (both of our families are huge w plenty of germy children around, and it will be freaking cold and flu season). She was apparently shocked and appalled. She asked if we were going to be "those people" who always had a sickly child bc we won't ever expose him to germs. Ummmm, no. I'm just not inclined to expose a baby to so many people when he has no way to fight anything off. Mind your business, lady.
MIL in more interested in how our two dogs are doing than the baby. She barely ever asks about him.
She did suggest a boys name for us to use..... Howell (her maiden name). Sorry, did you say Howell for a first name?!?! Ummm let me think... Nope!
She was very upset when we didn't tell her the sex right away. I thought we could be a little more personable with the announcement and I made cupcakes with blue in the centre for the reveal. Her comment when I let her know we would be telling her in person was " fine I will continue to purchase white clothes and blankets then if your not going to tell me.
My MIL is usually great , but today she asked how much weight I had gained . I replied 2lbs since I originally found out I was preggers . She said you really need to cook more since you're not working. I'm 27 weeks now and I still have morning sickness occasionally sometimes it's hard for me to eat other times it's hard for me to keep things down for long. And to begin with I was loosing weight . But she doesn't believe in leftovers so if I cook one day and don't cook the next I'm starving her son and her granddaughter. Ugh.
My MIL is usually great , but today she asked how much weight I had gained . I replied 2lbs since I originally found out I was preggers . She said you really need to cook more since you're not working. I'm 27 weeks now and I still have morning sickness occasionally sometimes it's hard for me to eat other times it's hard for me to keep things down for long. And to begin with I was loosing weight . But she doesn't believe in leftovers so if I cook one day and don't cook the next I'm starving her son and her granddaughter. Ugh.
So what does she want you to do? Throw the rest of it out? That's just wasteful. Honestly, sometimes I will intentionally make extra so we do have leftovers and I can just throw it in the oven the next day and not actually cook.
My MIL only calls to complain about my SIL and how they are towards her regards her new baby (unless u buy baby something ur not allowed to see the baby cuz that means u don't love him) she hasn't asked how my baby is or how my 3 year old is. I love my MIL but idc about what a b***h my SIL is being as long as it doesn't effect me.
MIL texted me yesterday asking how I was feeling, I told her just tired. Her exact response:
"Eating lots of fruits, veggies, water???? "
Don't tell me what to eat. And get rid of those smiley faces, that makes me want to smack you.
Like the crap I eat has something to do with my tiredness? yeah sure, it might have something to do with it, but I'm 30 weeks pg, clearly I'm f-in tired!
Well my MIL managed to tell the whole of Facebook that we're Team Boy. There was a reason that we hadn't made that public knowledge... And she keeps pestering us about names. No, we don't have a name yet, and even if we did it will not be made public until he's here because reasons. Thankfully I haven't had to see her for about 4 weeks, which is good because I think her face would irritate the pants off me at the moment.
This is about my own mom. She asked if I would send out the evites to my shower she's throwing me. I'm all for helping and I'm so grateful she is throwing me a shower but really having the invites come from me just looks bad. No mom, just no.....
Sorry that is soo rude and fucked up!!! Sounds like how my mother is "you're the one that decided to have a baby suck it up" like what?! Sorry you had the perfect pregnancy both times mom but not all of us do!! I've been sick the entire pregnancy can't sleep and am still working full time!!
We just moved to a different state to be closer to my family (hallelujah!) and as we were leaving, MIL said, "so, I need you to let me know soon when you think you'll go into labor because I don't want to have to buy a last minute ticket". It actually made telling her that they can't come visit until the baby is a few weeks old very easy.
My mother has been doing the same thing. She lives in DE I am in FL. I keep hearing from her "you need to find out when you're getting induced because I might not be able to make it in time" when I told her my doctor said in the next six weeks I could go in anytime and he'll tell me today is the day she got pissed and said she's "never heard of something like that happening before" like Jesus Christ if you want to see your FIRST grand child ever I'm sure you can make it down in time!!
We just moved to a different state to be closer to my family (hallelujah!) and as we were leaving, MIL said, "so, I need you to let me know soon when you think you'll go into labor because I don't want to have to buy a last minute ticket". It actually made telling her that they can't come visit until the baby is a few weeks old very easy.
My mother has been doing the same thing. She lives in DE I am in FL. I keep hearing from her "you need to find out when you're getting induced because I might not be able to make it in time" when I told her my doctor said in the next six weeks I could go in anytime and he'll tell me today is the day she got pissed and said she's "never heard of something like that happening before" like Jesus Christ if you want to see your FIRST grand child ever I'm sure you can make it down in time!!
My grandma is the one I've been getting frustrated with lately. Anything I mention that's happening pregnancy-wise she feels the need to let me know that she NEVER had that and never heard of it happening. "My breasts didn't get any bigger. I didn't gain any weight. I wore my regular clothes through the eighth month. I didn't have to go to the bathroom all the time. My feet didn't swell." I try to hold my tongue through most of it, but after being around her for about five hours straight the other night, when she threw one of the "I never's" out, I commented that it sounds like she had the most miraculous and uncomplicated pregnancy that ever was and she should have had a dozen kids instead of one.
@MercyC1130 We're super close and I love her to death. She's like this with everything, not just the pregnancy. The whole family basically just takes it in stride and uses the material for stories with coworkers, etc.
My daughter is almost 3 and my MIL every chance she gets still has to tell me that I looked like hell after giving birth. I can only imagine what she will have to say after this delivery. Tonight she even made it a point to tell me that she did her hair and makeup after she had a csection... I kinda don't even want her visiting in the hospital this time around.
I've spent my whole pregnancy being tired at 30 weeks I have gained 40 lbs already but I never really ate before I got pregnant my mil says things like "I felt great my whole pregnancy your not handling it like you should" or asks all the time if I'm mad at her because we r not at their house all weekend every weekend and when I'm wanting to leave to go eat always asks "are u really hungry or do u just have a sweet tooth" always putting guilt trip on fiance if we don't show up at their house atleast 1 time a week. Ugh! My personal favorite "well we took our son out of the house a week after he was born showing him off" after i told her if anyone wanted to see the baby they would have to come to our house to see him cause I'm not taking him anywhere for 6 weeks.
My MIL says nothing to me, nothing bad, but also nothing good. I've been trying my hardest to have a relationship with her but she's just so anti social and she only talks to her son. We aren't a new relationship, it's been 4 years and we are engaged.
I'd take any advice I can get! She's even supposedly planning a baby shower for Sept 27th but I only heard that from my fiance and she hasn't said anything to me. I don't know where it is or what time... nothing
I am a high risk pregnancy and have had some difficulties & am in quite a bit of pain. My own mother said (during my showe no less) " back in my day no one had these kinds of issues and worked right up until they went into labor. I think you just aren't as strong as we were". Well geez thanks mom! Moments later I was in the bathroom trying not to cry.
Not so much what she said, but did. She started knitting right away when she found out we were having twins, and we found out very early on that one was a boy due to genetic testing (we did IVF so had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks). Well, the ultrasound at 18 weeks showed we only had 1 baby, a girl, and that our little boy didn't make it. Fast forward to my shower...my MIL still gave me two sets of all the knitted stuff. One set blue and/or green and one set white and/or pink. She also included a blue outfit that said, "this is what handsome looks like." When I opened it, I was fine on the outside, but not so much inside. I should've expected it. I mean, this is the same lady who had a list of names she and her friends came up with for our baby boy b/c, "you should name him - he deserves a name." We did name OUR son. OUR son's name is Jacob Patrick, or Jake. She has zero right to name our deceased baby. WTF?!?!?
We're having twins
Our angel baby boy is looking over his twin sister - due November 21
Not so much what she said, but did. She started knitting right away when she found out we were having twins, and we found out very early on that one was a boy due to genetic testing (we did IVF so had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks). Well, the ultrasound at 18 weeks showed we only had 1 baby, a girl, and that our little boy didn't make it. Fast forward to my shower...my MIL still gave me two sets of all the knitted stuff. One set blue and/or green and one set white and/or pink. She also included a blue outfit that said, "this is what handsome looks like." When I opened it, I was fine on the outside, but not so much inside. I should've expected it. I mean, this is the same lady who had a list of names she and her friends came up with for our baby boy b/c, "you should name him - he deserves a name." We did name OUR son. OUR son's name is Jacob Patrick, or Jake. She has zero right to name our deceased baby. WTF?!?!?
Re: Things my MIL says
Later in the evening, she goes "so what are you naming this baby?" DH quickly replies with Dexter (she knows this, we've had it picked out since before knowing it was a boy) and she goes "I really wish you'd get over that name, it makes me think of that little cartoon boy with the laboratory" and I said "I love the name Jack, but hubs won't come around to it" and she mumbles under her breath "well, that's at least better than Dexter." .....I vented to my dad about this later that night and he said I should've said "well, what about the name bitch?" And I said "it isn't very often that boys are named after their grandmother." She seriously makes me want to jab a pen in my eye. More snarky comments were made during dinner (this was just in a 3 hour visit or so) but this post is long enough. She's such a peach. /:)
1. Referring to herself as "Mommy" to my husband and myself.
2.Generally treating and talking to my husband like he is 4.
3. Having a "poor me," weepy attitude if we don't spend every second of our time with her when we visit. (We live 5 hours away, thank goodness).
Oh the perks of marrying an only child!
Thanks... But no thanks. I'm sorry your son is a huge person and this baby is probably going to be big too. And since it is hump day bump day here is my "huge" bump for reference of how annoying that statement was.
Edited:because I re-read that and sounded like a twat.
1. She read a study that kissing babies is really bad for them. That they can get germs that will potentially kill them.
This is so ridiculous. Babies need love. I get the germ thing, but if your healthy...kiss away. If your sick...don't come to my house.
2. I've always been an entrepreneur, I started my first "business" at 11 selling snacks at my brothers baseball games. Sold blackberries to grocery stores at 13, opened my first salon at 26. I now have my second salon and do hair/makeup full time (for now). Also, I am not a procrastinator, if I had an assignment in high school or college I got it done ASAP so it was off my plate. All of which my husband loves and admires about me.
However, my MIL, told my mom she hopes I don't pass these qualities on to our little girl. That it seems much too stressful for a child to be so determined.
I wasn't forced...this is my nature. I don't sit on my butt hoping for things to happen. I make them happen. Also, I'm not a stressed out person. Mostly bc I have my $#&? together.
I told my mom I think she is jealous bc her husband told her she had to be a stay at home mom. He lectured me about this and about how daycare kids are misbehaved. Mind you, our LO is being watched by my mom, MIL and me, not going to daycare. Which I don't actually see an issue with daycare personally. But it will be nice for her to bond with her grandma's.
Long rant. Sorry. The in laws can bug me bad with their narrow minded opinions of the world.
Why do people think it's their place to comment on a pregnant woman's weight?! Seriously, lay off.
She did suggest a boys name for us to use..... Howell (her maiden name). Sorry, did you say Howell for a first name?!?! Ummm let me think... Nope!
She was very upset when we didn't tell her the sex right away. I thought we could be a little more personable with the announcement and I made cupcakes with blue in the centre for the reveal. Her comment when I let her know we would be telling her in person was " fine I will continue to purchase white clothes and blankets then if your not going to tell me.
This women!!!
My mother has been doing the same thing. She lives in DE I am in FL. I keep hearing from her "you need to find out when you're getting induced because I might not be able to make it in time" when I told her my doctor said in the next six weeks I could go in anytime and he'll tell me today is the day she got pissed and said she's "never heard of something like that happening before" like Jesus Christ if you want to see your FIRST grand child ever I'm sure you can make it down in time!!
K, no.
I'd take any advice I can get! She's even supposedly planning a baby shower for Sept 27th but I only heard that from my fiance and she hasn't said anything to me. I don't know where it is or what time... nothing
Not so much what she said, but did. She started knitting right away when she found out we were having twins, and we found out very early on that one was a boy due to genetic testing (we did IVF so had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks). Well, the ultrasound at 18 weeks showed we only had 1 baby, a girl, and that our little boy didn't make it. Fast forward to my shower...my MIL still gave me two sets of all the knitted stuff. One set blue and/or green and one set white and/or pink. She also included a blue outfit that said, "this is what handsome looks like." When I opened it, I was fine on the outside, but not so much inside. I should've expected it. I mean, this is the same lady who had a list of names she and her friends came up with for our baby boy b/c, "you should name him - he deserves a name." We did name OUR son. OUR son's name is Jacob Patrick, or Jake. She has zero right to name our deceased baby. WTF?!?!?
We're having twins
Our angel baby boy is looking over his twin sister - due November 21