November 2015 Moms

Things my MIL says

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Re: Things my MIL says

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  • Not so much what she said, but did. She started knitting right away when she found out we were having twins, and we found out very early on that one was a boy due to genetic testing (we did IVF so had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks). Well, the ultrasound at 18 weeks showed we only had 1 baby, a girl, and that our little boy didn't make it. Fast forward to my shower...my MIL still gave me two sets of all the knitted stuff. One set blue and/or green and one set white and/or pink. She also included a blue outfit that said, "this is what handsome looks like." When I opened it, I was fine on the outside, but not so much inside. I should've expected it. I mean, this is the same lady who had a list of names she and her friends came up with for our baby boy b/c, "you should name him - he deserves a name." We did name OUR son. OUR son's name is Jacob Patrick, or Jake. She has zero right to name our deceased baby. WTF?!?!?

    How thoughtless of her! I'm all for gender-neutral baby stuff, but to give you something she clearly made for your twin who didn't make it is really heartless.
  • I'm in the "I can't stand having my stomach touched" group. I asked my husband to let my MIL know that it makes me uncomfortable so please don't do it. When we were leaving after a quick weekend visit, she proceeded to corner me, drop to her knees and kiss and touch all over me. She then paused to look up at me and tell me that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be pregnant. I got out of there as fast as my legs would take me.

    She also got shitty with me when we told her that baby wouldn't be baptized (neither of us is religious at all and if LO chooses to be, she can choose to worship who/what ever she pleases). And when we told her that we didn't want anyone at the hospital until after she was born and we've had time to bond, she told us that she would just scale the building...
  • Not so much what she said, but did. She started knitting right away when she found out we were having twins, and we found out very early on that one was a boy due to genetic testing (we did IVF so had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks). Well, the ultrasound at 18 weeks showed we only had 1 baby, a girl, and that our little boy didn't make it. Fast forward to my shower...my MIL still gave me two sets of all the knitted stuff. One set blue and/or green and one set white and/or pink. She also included a blue outfit that said, "this is what handsome looks like." When I opened it, I was fine on the outside, but not so much inside. I should've expected it. I mean, this is the same lady who had a list of names she and her friends came up with for our baby boy b/c, "you should name him - he deserves a name." We did name OUR son. OUR son's name is Jacob Patrick, or Jake. She has zero right to name our deceased baby. WTF?!?!?

    Wow. I would of called her out on that crap- how unkind of her. I'm very sorry.

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Not so much what she said, but did. She started knitting right away when she found out we were having twins, and we found out very early on that one was a boy due to genetic testing (we did IVF so had ultrasounds at 6 and 8 weeks). Well, the ultrasound at 18 weeks showed we only had 1 baby, a girl, and that our little boy didn't make it. Fast forward to my shower...my MIL still gave me two sets of all the knitted stuff. One set blue and/or green and one set white and/or pink. She also included a blue outfit that said, "this is what handsome looks like." When I opened it, I was fine on the outside, but not so much inside. I should've expected it. I mean, this is the same lady who had a list of names she and her friends came up with for our baby boy b/c, "you should name him - he deserves a name." We did name OUR son. OUR son's name is Jacob Patrick, or Jake. She has zero right to name our deceased baby. WTF?!?!?

    I would have throat punched her right then and there
  • From my own mother.....

    Looking at my belly "you know that's going to be a 10# baby"

    Screw you mom! Btw all 3 of mine have been 8# I kindly reminded her that.
  • I am a high risk pregnancy and have had some difficulties & am in quite a bit of pain. My own mother said (during my showe no less) " back in my day no one had these kinds of issues and worked right up until they went into labor. I think you just aren't as strong as we were". Well geez thanks mom! Moments later I was in the bathroom trying not to cry.

    Well that's just wrong.
  • @chadsfiance That's so awful and insensitive. What goes through people's minds when they act so selfishly disrespectful?? Sorry you had to go through with that.
  • I am constantly trying not to deal with my MILs craziness. We hadn't seen her in a long time until she camped out in our house the weekend of her birthday expecting dinner, cake & gifts which I scrambled to get last minute ( btw she doesn't celebrate any holidays or anyone else's birthday as in she would never have gotten me or even her son dinner/ cake/ gift/ anything.) Same weekend she sat around until her friend called her to go out & she was out of there in less than a min ready to party. Made me feel a little used. This past weekend was our wedding anniversary and as always she had some unbelievable excuse why she couldn't watch her only grandchild for a couple of hours ( she lives 10 mins away but has only watched him less than 5 times his entire life). While my husband was arguing over the phone I heard her say she doesn't care and it's her life. Well, I'm getting pretty tired of being the only one that cares. Maybe I should just start giving her a piece of my mind... It's just so frustrating. I've tried understanding her since I don't have any family here but she is just into doing whatever is convenient for her. I'm certain things will not change with baby #2. She insisted on coming shopping for baby stuff with us which I didn't understand. We got to the store and she kept adding stuff to the cart. But when it was time to pay she just disappeared. So what's the point of her picking out outfits if I'm paying for all of them??? I just can't handle it.
  • Wow! Some of these are hilarious! My MIL drives me bananas but I must say she's not anywhere near some of these crazy ladies. Sorry for you gals. 

    With my third baby on the way, she's been ok. Doesn't say much. I also think it's because I put her in her place before her son and I were married. Sorry not sorry. :) She was actually worse before we had kids. She's calmed down a lot. Good thing she lives across country. She can be very obtuse and always plays the victim. The condescending, "I didn't know" attitude can be very annoying. 
    At times I've wanted to say, "B! yes, you did!" However, I say it in my own, "kill em with kindness" attitude and everyone remains happy. :) 

    Good luck to all of you and your pregnancies!! 6 more weeks to go for me! 





    Ivanna


  • After attending my baby shower (hosted by my mom as is tradition here) my MIL (who i am not very close with) decided she wants to host one too. She says she didnt like the way my mom chose to go about my bby shower, meaning she didnt like the cake,invitations, style etc. BUT now she wants to have my mom decorate the shower she's hosting? She asked people I dont even know for mOney to cover the cost but only Her name will be included in the invitations? She's literally doing NOTHING but asking others to do stuff for her. She just called me to tell me the date, 2 weeks from now and she hasnt even decided on invitations. WTF?

    She sounds amazing... I would tell my mother to bow out with some excuse and let this lady deal with whatever mess she is creating on her own. 




    I wish! That's the other strange part, MIL called me so I could tell my mom she wants her to make the center pieces, when I asked her if she wanted my mom's phone number so they could agree on something she said no. Because "im not very good at explaining things and dont want to sound rude". No shit lady!



  • After attending my baby shower (hosted by my mom as is tradition here) my MIL (who i am not very close with) decided she wants to host one too. She says she didnt like the way my mom chose to go about my bby shower, meaning she didnt like the cake,invitations, style etc. BUT now she wants to have my mom decorate the shower she's hosting? She asked people I dont even know for mOney to cover the cost but only Her name will be included in the invitations? She's literally doing NOTHING but asking others to do stuff for her. She just called me to tell me the date, 2 weeks from now and she hasnt even decided on invitations. WTF?

    She sounds amazing... I would tell my mother to bow out with some excuse and let this lady deal with whatever mess she is creating on her own. 


    I wish! That's the other strange part, MIL called me so I could tell my mom she wants her to make the center pieces, when I asked her if she wanted my mom's phone number so they could agree on something she said no. Because "im not very good at explaining things and dont want to sound rude". No shit lady!



    Wtf? There is no reason your mom should have to participate in this circus. She hosted a shower, she doesn't even have to show up to this one. Just call and tell MIL you don't have time to be a go-between and give her your mom's info. Your mom should just pretend she has other plans! Hopefully there aren't any duplicate invitees:...
  • I was just told today at my doc appt that it's hospital policy for no one but those in the delivery room (which will be MH and perhaps my mom) to be allowed to see the baby for two hours after the birth in order to promote breastfeeding and skin to skin contact. Freaking score. My MIL will bring in everyone and their brother, so I'm glad I have an excuse to bond as a family before the hoopla begins.
    I don't think that's policy where I'm at, technically... But maybe it'll magically be policy by the time I get there..
    It's not policy where we are, either, but at my birthing class, the nurse teaching it told us that the nurses are more than happy to be the bad guy and kick people out for you. So much win.
  • The best conversation I've ever had with my MIL! I need me some pulled pork nachos

    Pregnancy Ticker


  • After attending my baby shower (hosted by my mom as is tradition here) my MIL (who i am not very close with) decided she wants to host one too. She says she didnt like the way my mom chose to go about my bby shower, meaning she didnt like the cake,invitations, style etc. BUT now she wants to have my mom decorate the shower she's hosting? She asked people I dont even know for mOney to cover the cost but only Her name will be included in the invitations? She's literally doing NOTHING but asking others to do stuff for her. She just called me to tell me the date, 2 weeks from now and she hasnt even decided on invitations. WTF?

    She sounds amazing... I would tell my mother to bow out with some excuse and let this lady deal with whatever mess she is creating on her own. 


    I wish! That's the other strange part, MIL called me so I could tell my mom she wants her to make the center pieces, when I asked her if she wanted my mom's phone number so they could agree on something she said no. Because "im not very good at explaining things and dont want to sound rude". No shit lady!

    Wtf? There is no reason your mom should have to participate in this circus. She hosted a shower, she doesn't even have to show up to this one. Just call and tell MIL you don't have time to be a go-between and give her your mom's info. Your mom should just pretend she has other plans! Hopefully there aren't any duplicate invitees:...

    No duplicates since my mom and I are not allowed to invite anyone. She literally said "you had your party your way, this one will be mine". I'm expecting it to be a disaster. But that's her prerogative. Ill just go get my hair done and look pretty for the occasion.
    8->
  • The best conversation I've ever had with my MIL! I need me some pulled pork nachos

    Don't liiiie...

    You ate the whole chimichanga.
    Just kidding ;) But really, that all sounds so delicious.
    I'm eating salad. Not even a fun salad.

  • My MIL has been buying us stuff since we found out, which is GREATLY appreciated. My honey and I can afford to buy our own things unlike other members of the family, and she tries to have control over things buy spending money.She showed up at my daughters birthday party with a pack of a specific brand of bottles that  I dont plan on using and proceeded to tell me that they were the best because baby is supposed to get less air. She also bought them at a discount place that has random things. I tried to tell her I thank you, but I have a different type I am planning on using(not to mention I am breastfeeding like I did with the first two), and she proceeded to tell me she doesn't want the baby to get air in his tummy with cheap bottles. Huh?? I know she didn't research and just wants to tell me what to use because she bought them. I think I am getting the third trimester grumpies, and cant handle extra bullshit that I would normally blow off. Sorry, venting.
  • The best conversation I've ever had with my MIL! I need me some pulled pork nachos

    Don't liiiie...

    You ate the whole chimichanga.
    Just kidding ;) But really, that all sounds so delicious.
    I'm eating salad. Not even a fun salad.

    I WISH I could have ate the whole thing! I could barely get out of the booth the way it was! I hope your salad has chocolate on it, and tastes like a snickers bar. Are you really eating a snickers bar?

    I ordered a giant thing of nachos from my favorite little Mexican restaurant and I usually can only eat half but today.. The whole thing was eaten.. And when I took my blood sugar it was super high (152) so I took my dogs on a walk.. But they were worth every bite!!!
  • mscoburn said:

    I posted a video of the baby moving in my belly on Instagram. My MIL (who has yet to see me in person since I've been pregnant; I'm 7.5 months) posted "This is Gramma's baby bump. Only 69 days left, but who's counting". Ummm it's not Gramma's baby bump, it's mine thanks.

    Lol eww
  • mscoburn said:

    I posted a video of the baby moving in my belly on Instagram. My MIL (who has yet to see me in person since I've been pregnant; I'm 7.5 months) posted "This is Gramma's baby bump. Only 69 days left, but who's counting". Ummm it's not Gramma's baby bump, it's mine thanks.


    My MIL wanted pictures of my bump and my husband had a video from the hospital when he was wiggling a lot and she told him "my poor Emma!! You need to make sure that baby isn't hurting her before I hurt you!!" I almost fell off the hospital bed I was laughing so hard lol =)) if my MIL would have said something like that I would have been uber upset and would have had to say something but that's just because I have a big mouth and no filter lol
  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    edited September 2015
    @grapesoda1111

    It's like chocolate!
    Heh. Kind of makes me want a Mexican hot chocolate though.
    edit because technology is hard
  • Imaginaaaation.
  • shower
    rachswi said:



    SJFTCA said:

    I was just told today at my doc appt that it's hospital policy for no one but those in the delivery room (which will be MH and perhaps my mom) to be allowed to see the baby for two hours after the birth in order to promote breastfeeding and skin to skin contact. Freaking score. My MIL will bring in everyone and their brother, so I'm glad I have an excuse to bond as a family before the hoopla begins.

    I don't think that's policy where I'm at, technically... But maybe it'll magically be policy by the time I get there..

    It's not policy where we are, either, but at my birthing class, the nurse teaching it told us that the nurses are more than happy to be the bad guy.

    Our policy is at least one hour to promote bonding and then only two visitors at a time to keep a relax atmosphere.
  • Mine says this and then proceeds to talk to me and my husband as if she herself IS THE BABY! Drives me up the wall!!!
  • Actually, my mother, with whom I have a great relationship keeps making comments about how my belly isn't getting really tight. I keep telling her it's because of the layer of fat over it!
  • My MIL told my mom that she wants the baby to call her mama.
    Just no.
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