When I was pregnant with DD and I posted our announcement on facebook, an acquaintance from grad school (which I had finished 4 years prior and we hadn't kept in touch outside of social media) commented, "I didn't know you were expecting!" No kidding, that's why I made this post.
@mokay19 Right?! I can see Thanksgiving with the family: "Everyone, we've decided we want a baby. You probably shouldn't include us in invitations anymore because we're going to be having a lot of sex." Probably followed by, "We've set aside three months because we've decided we want a baby born between November and January." 🙄
@ruby696 On the flip side, I hate the comment “you know how that happens, right?”. Uh yes, yes I do. So far I’ve got a few comments about this being the last one because it HAS to be, right? Like three kids is wild or something.
@rox7777 AGREE. My dad said that to me when I told him about this pregnancy. Major eye roll. Yes, I'm aware of how babies are made. I already have two and I attended health class in junior high. Maybe I just want more than two kids?
@ruby696 It’s such an awkward comment. I really don’t want to discuss my sex life in causal conversation. I think that it’s well known that a lot of babies are made through sex. Plus it’s insensitive to those that might be using other means. Let me just wear a shirt until May that says, “YES! I do in fact like sex.”
I've recently told more people at work I'm pregnant and I've heard more than a few times "You don't look pregnant". Do people think I'm lying? I have been trying to hide it but I'm not sure that's quite the comment to make...
Ooo I got another one the other day! The doctor at work who cannot keep her mouth shut and always says inappropriate things said to me at 16+2 "are you sure you aren't hiding another kid somewhere we don't know about?" As in, there's no way I could be a FTM if I'm this big already.... Thanks.
To make it better, this is our attending physician for an adolescent EATING DISORDER treatment center. One would think she'd have more tact. Nope.
None of these comments surprise me. People have no tact. We are planning one kid. We weren’t even sure if we were going to have any. And when I say that we will be one and done, literally everyone has said, oh no you’ll change your mind, or you can’t have just one, or something similar. My family, my choice. One kid, 5 kids. None of your business. Just shut up and say congrats lol.
I’m a little bit glad to hear I’m not the only one getting blasted! I have this conversation 15 times per day: you must be getting close to the end as big as you are. You can’t be 16 weeks! Triplets?! Were you doing fertility treatments? Do multiples run in your family? Is your house big enough? Can you afford 3 kids? Wait you have a son already-4 kids?! Are you quitting your job? Are you having a c section? Do you plan to breastfeed? And these questions fly from everyone, even the girl checking me out at Kroger. a guy my husband works with even questioned whether he was sure he was the father....because you know he could still run if there is no proof.
@jkr2019 OMG yes to all of these! I now refuse to tell strangers we're having twins. It's amazing how entitled they feel to personal information. Instead, they ask if I'm having a Christmas baby and I say no, I'm due in May. Cue awkward silence....
@jkr2019, congrats! I have triplet nephews! I know that my sister in law still gets harassed with those types of questions randomly. They had 3 kids prior to their triplets (no fertility treatments), so it was an adjustment. One thing that keep her sane was her Moms of múltiples group, she has some really good friends there even after 5 years. They do annual reunions too, and in cool places. She is a super mom and you will be too!
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
Oh the comments people when make once you actually HAVE the kids. DS1 is milky skinned with white blonde hair and blue eyes. DS2 is dark skinned with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. “Are they both yours? Are they siblings? They don’t even look alike!”
@rox7777 MH is Hispanic and has dark skin and I'm pretty pale. DS is darker (has olive complexion and tans really easily) and DD is really light skinned. I'm just waiting for the twins to have two totally different skin tones. That should make for some super fun stranger comments. 🙄
My MIL's first comment when we told her we were expecting was "what? I didn't even know you were trying. Why didn't you tell me?" so many reasons. I don't want people knowing about my sex life and definitely not my MIL. The only one who know we were trying other than us was my work bff because she was also trying and we talk all day everyday so she knows everything anyway lol
Also regarding appearance after birth MH and I both have blonde-ish hair and were bleach blonde as babies. Well somehow DD1 has red hair and everyone comments on it. "Oh a red head? Where did that come from?". Well sweeties, it must've come from a stranger because I'm obviously cheating on MH and there is no other possible explanation for where her red hair came from. Or maybe I'm not her real mom? I kidnapped her? Also it's just annoying in general because nobody looks at a blonde/brunette baby and say "oh, look blond/brown hair!" but red hair is somehow super fascinating lol.
@bananapanda I’m actually hopping my baby comes out with red hair (don’t tell my husband). My husband and I both have brown hair but my husband is the ONLY one in his family without red hair, his brother and sister have red hair, 2 half brothers, cousin, sister’s kids, father, probably others I haven’t met. We’ll see what happens! I will keep the kidnapping comment in the back of my mind of a comment is ever made about my child not looking like us for any reason!
@ruby696 We’re the opposite in my house. I’m half Hispanic, but mostly carry all the darker genes. MH is blonde and has the whitest legs/stomach I have ever seen. 😂 We’re all genetic mutts destined to have some very interesting children.
@ruby696@rox7777 I have a friend that had boy/girl twins. She’s Asian and her husband is Irish decent. The girl is super Asian-looking and the boy is super white. It’s hilarious yet adorable and she gets so many comments about them looking “so different!” But since the girl looks identical to her mom and the boy looks just like the dad, fortunately people don’t question who the parents are lol
People need to stop guessing how many months pregnant you are, and not act surprised when you tell them how actually far along you are. "You're what, about 6 months?" Nope 4.5 months.
We were at DH's aunt's house on Christmas with all of his family and everyone kept asking how I was feeling and then acting surprised when I said pretty good like they were so confused that I wasn't having daily struggles in second trimester. Then his aunt (who I love dearly) said "you're looking more pregnant with this second one you can really tell you are pregnant already" and I laughed and said "gee thanks!" she goes "what? Is that not a compliment?" like she was actually confused. I know she didn't mean anything bad by it just being a crazy old lady so it does help me realize that maybe sometimes people in public who say things that sound horrible don't actually mean them so bad.
@bananapanda My aunt said to me "You're looking very pregnant!" and I thought the same thing. She doesn't have kids and doesn't realize she's being slightly rude. Also, I don't look that pregnant yet. I'm tall, so I don't tend to show as quickly as others do.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
I’m short so very much showing already and one of my coworkers the other day said “that dress shows off your big belly!” Not a compliment, not new information, not necessary.
Another one on the same day told me my belly was cute. I told her I hoped the rest of me looked good, too!
I’m not as self-conscious about my bump as I was with DD, but still don’t understand why people have to point it out in such awkward ways.
I’ve been told I have a cute belly too @lajoliedreamer I like your response though! Yesterday someone said they can’t wait until I have a real belly. Guess this one isn’t good enough...
I went for breakfast with some extended family this morning and they were all commenting on how small my bump is for being 20 weeks. My mom pipes up and says it's because I'm carrying it all in the back. Well alright then....
1. It's annoying to me when people assume I should be feeling a certain way about being pregnant: "Oh, and aren't you just feeling amazing and super happy and like you are floating?" NO! It's been hard to get pregnant (5 years and 1 m/c this year), had a very risky first trimester so I am more on the rational, repressed side and really don't want to feel guilty about it! Please, stop assuming I should be feeling certain things when you have no idea about my struggles!
2. I got a comment about how I should be dressing... I am barely showing at 18+4, my regular style is casual and quite modest and someone is already concerned that I will be wearing clothes that are too tight and make people in older generations feel uncomfortable when looking at me. This one could be funny, though. I think I could laugh about it once I lighten up a bit.
@pustiulari feel free to join us in the PGAL threads. You'll find many of us are quite reserved and aren't even fully sharing that they are pregnant yet. It took me 2.5 years of unexplained fertility with treatment to get pregnant the first time, ending in MC, and then this pregnancy we have had a very rocky start with some alarming test results. It's been very mixed emotionally and however you feel is ok to feel. You have been through a lot. There are days I'm super excited and other days I'm absolutely terrified.
As to how you should be dressing, pregnant or not, that is a very charged topic. As long as you are dressed appropriately for work and following dress code then, it's important, but other than that, anything goes. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable! Our bodies are uncomfortable enough right now, wear what you feel fits.
@pirateduck Thanks for the encouragement! I have just started posting a bit in the community and actually did write a first post in PGAL Check In Week of December 30 a while ago!
@jess09lynn with my first pregnancy MH asked if my butt was pregnant too!
Sorry to bring up the dead thread, but I seriously HOPE someone gets a good laugh about this. My grandma INSISTS that until 34 weeks with her first she carried it all in her butt. Like, the whole baby/belly/bump-in her butt. That's...just not how anatomy works. There's a spinal column there. There's a pelvis in the way. I asked her, she confirmed, she didn't mean that she also put on weight in her butt, but that the baby was all in her butt.
She *was* 15 when she got pregnant, so maybe pregnancy hormones really had to push puberty to finish fast, so her hips spread and she grew a butt for the first time? Maybe? But she's not quite 5' tall with a short torso. I absolutely don't believe she had no visible bump until a week before delivery
Also, she swears by daughter was a seriously huge, ridiculously big baby at birth. She was born at 8 lbs, 8 oz. Not tiny, but not huge. Bigger than my grandmother's babies born slightly preemie, to a teen (all three born before age 20). While she was smoking and trying to hide pregnancy from her family. But, that doesn't take much.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail That is pretty funny. Some people just don’t believe science and it totally makes me wonder how, it’s literally the only thing in the world with prove able facts. Your theory is probably correct about puberty and weight gain.
I posted my bump in the HDBD thread with my experience of the last two days. Multiple people have asked or assumed I’m pregnant in the last 2 days, two people just asked “so when’s the baby coming?” And I definitely never told them I was pregnant. This is the first time so far in my pregnancy that people who didn’t already know have actually said anything To me.
So I’m responding to @soprano19 here. I was kind of offended when the people I don’t even really know (caregivers for my patients) just assumed I was pregnant. But then again can I really be offended because I am actually pregnant? My one patient’s daughter asked if I was pregnant and immediately said OMG I don’t know why I just asked that, I know better! I told her she wasn’t the first one to notice today. She said it’s because I “look so round.” I haven’t gained weight anywhere other than my belly, so that’s kind of nice. And a nurse at one of my facilities yesterday said “I was gonna ask if you were pregnant because you just haven’t seemed your usual perky self” when she heard a patient’s daughter call me “mama.” I have a lot of interactions with various managers, nursing staff, patients, and families every week and it just seemed weird to “announce” my pregnancy to these people. I’m not hiding the fact that I’m pregnant, I’m just not going around making grand announcements about the contents of my uterus!! I also just kind of figured I would tell people if they asked or even just said “so what’s new?”
It finally happened, I had a stranger comment on my bump. The phlebotomist during my glucose test asked me if I was doing the test because of pregnancy. Here's how the conversation went: me- yes her- how far along are you?! me- I'm in my 6th month, 24 weeks her- YOU'RE 6 MONTHS PREGNANT?!? OMG YOU'RE SO SMALL In her defense, I was wearing a large sweater. I said that my bump is more noticeable without it. So she asked if I could lift up my sweater. I did and she still insisted that the baby must be so small because she can't tell that I'm pregnant (side note: I just found out that during my AS at 21 weeks the baby was already 1lb, so not "super small"). She was so astonished that the other phlebotomist got up from her station to look at my belly too (she thought I looked pregnant). I'll admit that sometimes my bump is smaller depending on where baby boy is sitting, but I definitely have a stomach. I'm a plus-size mom. She also made the comment that "I have those" (referring to my butt and boobs) so it makes my stomach look normal. Can't control what other people think and say but now I know that people just really think my bump gut is normal.
@drkoyya people are so rude. I might just lie and say I’m just fat when a stranger asks if I’m pregnant. A woman who works at a facility I go to asked me today “what are you having?” And I couldn’t resist saying “what makes you think I’m having anything?” As I modeled my maternity scrub top, then I said “just kidding it’s a boy.” She and I have known each other a while as casual work acquaintances so I was just kidding around, but strangers are rude for asking. I’ve been asked if I was pregnant before when not pregnant. It’s rude even IF someone is pregnant. Why does a stranger think they need to know about the contents of your uterus?
Re: SAY WHAT!?!?!?
To make it better, this is our attending physician for an adolescent EATING DISORDER treatment center. One would think she'd have more tact. Nope.
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
Once again. Why. Why. Why.
@mokay19 😂😂😂
Also regarding appearance after birth MH and I both have blonde-ish hair and were bleach blonde as babies. Well somehow DD1 has red hair and everyone comments on it. "Oh a red head? Where did that come from?". Well sweeties, it must've come from a stranger because I'm obviously cheating on MH and there is no other possible explanation for where her red hair came from. Or maybe I'm not her real mom? I kidnapped her? Also it's just annoying in general because nobody looks at a blonde/brunette baby and say "oh, look blond/brown hair!" but red hair is somehow super fascinating lol.
I have a friend that had boy/girl twins. She’s Asian and her husband is Irish decent. The girl is super Asian-looking and the boy is super white. It’s hilarious yet adorable and she gets so many comments about them looking “so different!” But since the girl looks identical to her mom and the boy looks just like the dad, fortunately people don’t question who the parents are lol
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
I’m not as self-conscious about my bump as I was with DD, but still don’t understand why people have to point it out in such awkward ways.
Yesterday someone said they can’t wait until I have a real belly. Guess this one isn’t good enough...
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
NO! It's been hard to get pregnant (5 years and 1 m/c this year), had a very risky first trimester so I am more on the rational, repressed side and really don't want to feel guilty about it! Please, stop assuming I should be feeling certain things when you have no idea about my struggles!
2. I got a comment about how I should be dressing... I am barely showing at 18+4, my regular style is casual and quite modest and someone is already concerned that I will be wearing clothes that are too tight and make people in older generations feel uncomfortable when looking at me. This one could be funny, though. I think I could laugh about it once I lighten up a bit.
As to how you should be dressing, pregnant or not, that is a very charged topic. As long as you are dressed appropriately for work and following dress code then, it's important, but other than that, anything goes. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable! Our bodies are uncomfortable enough right now, wear what you feel fits.
Thanks for the encouragement! I have just started posting a bit in the community and actually did write a first post in PGAL Check In Week of December 30 a while ago!
She *was* 15 when she got pregnant, so maybe pregnancy hormones really had to push puberty to finish fast, so her hips spread and she grew a butt for the first time? Maybe? But she's not quite 5' tall with a short torso. I absolutely don't believe she had no visible bump until a week before delivery
Also, she swears by daughter was a seriously huge, ridiculously big baby at birth. She was born at 8 lbs, 8 oz. Not tiny, but not huge. Bigger than my grandmother's babies born slightly preemie, to a teen (all three born before age 20). While she was smoking and trying to hide pregnancy from her family. But, that doesn't take much.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
me- yes
her- how far along are you?!
me- I'm in my 6th month, 24 weeks
her- YOU'RE 6 MONTHS PREGNANT?!? OMG YOU'RE SO SMALL
In her defense, I was wearing a large sweater. I said that my bump is more noticeable without it. So she asked if I could lift up my sweater. I did and she still insisted that the baby must be so small because she can't tell that I'm pregnant (side note: I just found out that during my AS at 21 weeks the baby was already 1lb, so not "super small"). She was so astonished that the other phlebotomist got up from her station to look at my belly too (she thought I looked pregnant).
I'll admit that sometimes my bump is smaller depending on where baby boy is sitting, but I definitely have a stomach. I'm a plus-size mom. She also made the comment that "I have those" (referring to my butt and boobs) so it makes my stomach look normal. Can't control what other people think and say but now I know that people just really think my bump gut is normal.
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20