May 2020 Moms

SAY WHAT!?!?!?

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Re: SAY WHAT!?!?!?

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  • @ruby696 On the flip side, I hate the comment “you know how that happens, right?”. Uh yes, yes I do. So far I’ve got a few comments about this being the last one because it HAS to be, right? Like three kids is wild or something. 
  • @rox7777 AGREE. My dad said that to me when I told him about this pregnancy. Major eye roll. Yes, I'm aware of how babies are made. I already have two and I attended health class in junior high. Maybe I just want more than two kids?
  • @ruby696 It’s such an awkward comment. I really don’t want to discuss my sex life in causal conversation. I think that it’s well known that a lot of babies are made through sex. Plus it’s insensitive to those that might be using other means. Let me just wear a shirt until May that says, “YES! I do in fact like sex.” 
  • @jrouge12 I blame movies for that comment, in 90minutes the pregnant character goes from peeing on a stick, to being huge, to delivery.  
  • @ruby696 just tell them, no, you’re really hoping to carry them to term.  
  • @jkr2019, congrats! I have triplet nephews! I know that my sister in law still gets harassed with those types of questions randomly. They had 3 kids prior to their triplets (no fertility treatments), so it was an adjustment. One thing that keep her sane was her Moms of múltiples group, she has some really good friends there even after 5 years. They do annual reunions too, and in cool places. She is a super mom and you will be too!
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • My MIL's first comment when we told her we were expecting was "what? I didn't even know you were trying.  Why didn't you tell me?" so many reasons.  I don't want people knowing about my sex life and definitely not my MIL.  The only one who know we were trying other than us was my work bff because she was also trying and we talk all day everyday so she knows everything anyway lol

    Also regarding appearance after birth MH and I both have  blonde-ish hair and were bleach blonde as babies.  Well somehow DD1 has red hair and everyone comments on it. "Oh a red head? Where did that come from?". Well sweeties, it must've come from a stranger because I'm obviously cheating on MH and there is no other possible explanation for where her red hair came from.  Or maybe I'm not her real mom? I kidnapped her?  Also it's just annoying in general because nobody looks at a blonde/brunette baby and say "oh, look blond/brown hair!" but red hair is somehow super fascinating lol.
  • @ruby696 We’re the opposite in my house. I’m half Hispanic, but mostly carry all the darker genes. MH is blonde and has the whitest legs/stomach I have ever seen. 😂 We’re all genetic mutts destined to have some very interesting children. 
  • I've gotten a few "were you trying"? or "was this planned"? I've mostly just responded "these are very wanted children", but honestly.
  • People need to stop guessing how many months pregnant you are, and not act surprised when you tell them how actually far along you are. "You're what, about 6 months?" Nope 4.5 months.
  • We were at DH's aunt's house on Christmas with all of his family and everyone kept asking how I was feeling and then acting surprised when I said pretty good like they were so confused that I wasn't having daily struggles in second trimester.  Then his aunt (who I love dearly) said "you're looking more pregnant with this second one you can really tell you are pregnant already" and I laughed and said "gee thanks!" she goes "what? Is that not a compliment?" like she was actually confused.  I know she didn't mean anything bad by it just being a crazy old lady so it does help me realize that maybe sometimes people in public who say things that sound horrible don't actually mean them so bad.
  • @bananapanda My aunt said to me "You're looking very pregnant!" and I thought the same thing.  She doesn't have kids and doesn't realize she's being slightly rude.  Also, I don't look that pregnant yet.  I'm tall, so I don't tend to show as quickly as others do.  
    **TW**
    Me: 35 | H: 40
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS1: Nov 11, 2016 <3
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19
    DS2: May 10, 2020 <3


  • I’m short so very much showing already and one of my coworkers the other day said “that dress shows off your big belly!” Not a compliment, not new information, not necessary. 

    Another one on the same day told me my belly was cute. I told her I hoped the rest of me looked good, too!

    I’m not as self-conscious about my bump as I was with DD, but still don’t understand why people have to point it out in such awkward ways. 
  • I’ve been told I have a cute belly too @lajoliedreamer I like your response though!
    Yesterday someone said they can’t wait until I have a real belly. Guess this one isn’t good enough... 
  • I went for breakfast with some extended family this morning and they were all commenting on how small my bump is for being 20 weeks. My mom pipes up and says it's because I'm carrying it all in the back. Well alright then.... 
  • How... how does that work? I highly doubt you have a back bump @jess09lynn
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
  • @jess09lynn with my first pregnancy MH asked if my butt was pregnant too! 
  • Why is it so hard for people to grasp that every BODY is different so every BUMP is different?  
  • 1. It's annoying to me when people assume I should be feeling a certain way about being pregnant: "Oh, and aren't you just feeling amazing and super happy and like you are floating?"
    NO! It's been hard to get pregnant (5 years and 1 m/c this year), had a very risky first trimester so I am more on the rational, repressed side and really don't want to feel guilty about it! Please, stop assuming I should be feeling certain things when you have no idea about my struggles!  :|

    2. I got a comment about how I should be dressing... I am barely showing at 18+4, my regular style is casual and quite modest and someone is already concerned that I will be wearing clothes that are too tight and make people in older generations feel uncomfortable when looking at me. This one could be funny, though. I think I could laugh about it once I lighten up a bit.  :D
  • @pustiulari feel free to join us in the PGAL threads.  You'll find many of us are quite reserved and aren't even fully sharing that they are pregnant yet.  It took me 2.5 years of unexplained fertility with treatment to get pregnant the first time, ending in MC, and then this pregnancy we have had a very rocky start with some alarming test results.  It's been very mixed emotionally and however you feel is ok to feel.  You have been through a lot.  There are days I'm super excited and other days I'm absolutely terrified.

    As to how you should be dressing, pregnant or not, that is a very charged topic.  As long as you are dressed appropriately for work and following dress code then, it's important, but other than that, anything goes.  Do whatever makes you feel comfortable!  Our bodies are uncomfortable enough right now, wear what you feel fits.
  • pustiularipustiulari member
    edited December 2019
    @pirateduck
    Thanks for the encouragement! I have just started posting a bit in the community and actually did write a first post in PGAL Check In Week of December 30 a while ago! :smile:
  • @jess09lynn with my first pregnancy MH asked if my butt was pregnant too! 
    Sorry to bring up the dead thread, but I seriously HOPE someone gets a good laugh about this. My grandma INSISTS that until 34 weeks with her first she carried it all in her butt. Like, the whole baby/belly/bump-in her butt. That's...just not how anatomy works. There's a spinal column there. There's a pelvis in the way. I asked her, she confirmed, she didn't mean that she also put on weight in her butt, but that the baby was all in her butt.

    She *was* 15 when she got pregnant, so maybe pregnancy hormones really had to push puberty to finish fast, so her hips spread and she grew a butt for the first time? Maybe? But she's not quite 5' tall with a short torso. I absolutely don't believe she had no visible bump until a week before delivery

    Also, she swears by daughter was a seriously huge, ridiculously big baby at birth. She was born at 8 lbs, 8 oz. Not tiny, but not huge. Bigger than my grandmother's babies born slightly preemie, to a teen (all three born before age 20). While she was smoking and trying to hide pregnancy from her family. But, that doesn't take much. 
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @pourmeanothermocktail That is pretty funny. Some people just don’t believe science and it totally makes me wonder how, it’s literally the only thing in the world with prove able facts. Your theory is probably correct about puberty and weight gain.
  • drkoyyadrkoyya member
    edited January 2020
    It finally happened, I had a stranger comment on my bump. The phlebotomist during my glucose test asked me if I was doing the test because of pregnancy. Here's how the conversation went: 
    me- yes
    her- how far along are you?!
    me- I'm in my 6th month, 24 weeks
    her- YOU'RE 6 MONTHS PREGNANT?!? OMG YOU'RE SO SMALL
    In her defense, I was wearing a large sweater. I said that my bump is more noticeable without it. So she asked if I could lift up my sweater. I did and she still insisted that the baby must be so small because she can't tell that I'm pregnant (side note: I just found out that during my AS at 21 weeks the baby was already 1lb, so not "super small"). She was so astonished that the other phlebotomist got up from her station to look at my belly too (she thought I looked pregnant). 
    I'll admit that sometimes my bump is smaller depending on where baby boy is sitting, but I definitely have a stomach. I'm a plus-size mom. She also made the comment that "I have those" (referring to my butt and boobs) so it makes my stomach look normal. Can't control what other people think and say but now I know that people just really think my bump gut is normal. 

    Image result for sarcastic gif
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
  • @drkoyya people are so rude. I might just lie and say I’m just fat when a stranger asks if I’m pregnant. A woman who works at a facility I go to asked me today “what are you having?” And I couldn’t resist saying “what makes you think I’m having anything?” As I modeled my maternity scrub top, then I said “just kidding it’s a boy.” She and I have known each other a while as casual work acquaintances so I was just kidding around, but strangers are rude for asking. I’ve been asked if I was pregnant before when not pregnant. It’s rude even IF someone is pregnant. Why does a stranger think they need to know about the contents of your uterus?
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