Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread - Page 6 — The Bump
July 2019 Moms

Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

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Re: Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

  • I am getting so sick of the assumption that I will breastfeed.  I am not.  My reasons are my own. 

    My sorority is planning an alumni beach weekend.  I replied to a Facebook thread that if we do it in September I will have to bring the baby.  The first response was from someone I didn't know stating that there will be enough sisters to help care for her and all I will have to do is nurse.  
  • I have a coworker, who I'm mindful to the fact that she has no tact at all, but speaks without thinking. I got back from vacation and I guess I've popped a bit, and she says "oh wow you're still pregnant." Yeah lady that is the ultimate goal here to still be pregnant til 40 weeks and then have a healthy baby at the end. Some people 

    @tsa208 I am constantly getting asked if this was planned!!! Why does it matter - you want to hear the details of the "planning" too Ha!
    pizzaplztsa208
  • cindlercindler
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    DH has said the last few nights that I'm "baby obsessed" because I spend my evenings researching various baby related things. He just doesn't fully understand the amount of stuff we need to get before LO arrives. 
    tsa208lattepanda
  • I’m a teacher so I have off in the summer. You would think it would make things easiesr but it’s like the county has never had a teacher that has had a baby during this time! We are supposed to work 2 days over the summer. When I asked if I had too since if I had a “normal” 12 month job I would be on my maternity leave they didn’t know the answer. So I was complaining to another teacher who had a baby last April who you would think would be a little sympathetic. Nope. Her response “well next time plan better and have a baby in April or May”. Um really?! Easier said than done 😡 who says that?! 
  • Here's a real fun one for ya! I haven't gotten my hair cut since I found out I was pregnant - mostly because I spent much of the first trimester feeling too terrible to do anything other than curl up in bed. Last week I revisited my hair stylist who I've been seeing for well over 5 years now and out of the blue she asked: "Do you feel like the baby is slowly taking over your body and destroying it?" I responded pretty quickly with a "WHAT!?" which she then went to on to explain that she asked because my hair has changed.. it has always been very thick and pin straight and now it's thin and some spots are very curly. I love the woman, but good god you think she could have found a better way to mention that my hair was different now that I'm pregnant!
  • @mamanessen that's crazy--you think with a job where you talk to your customers all day she would know better than to say something like that.  She definitely could have had the same conversation but phrased differently.  


  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    @mamanessen sorry your hairdresser lacks tact, but fun fact: I used to have curly hair and it went straight with my first pregnancy!  3 pregnancies later it's wavy but never went back to the curls I used to have!
  • Back when I was barely 8 weeks, my aunt said I must be having a boy because I was looking "less put together". I was fatigued and felt queasy early mornings, and did not have the time or energy to do my makeup.
  • key33key33
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    I'm sick of everyone telling me what I can and can't do. This is my third kid, I know what I can and can't do.
    acgxfromcatstokidsindulgentgypsyhinotes
  • My mom wouldn't let me lift anything this weekend, even a 14lb stroller which is almost less than a bag of groceries and definitely less than my 2yo. I finally snapped at her yesterday with an OMG. MOM. And that finally did it. -_- Why.
    BFP ♡ Jan 2016 - M born Oct 2016
    PPD for 1yr+ post-pregnancy
    BFP ♡ Sept 2018 - CP @ 5 weeks
    BFP ♡ Nov 2018 - Baby R due Jul 2019


    jenniferjoy37
  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    @agcx This bothers me so much because your baby is, by definition, a fetus and not a supernatural celestial being. Maybe I'm just too literal of a person but those comments deeply bother me.

    I'm not saying I don't believe in angels but even if angels exist, your fetus is not one.

    (No offense, I'm sure she's lovely)
    indulgentgypsymamanbebepizzaplzacgx
  • @acgx hahaha my mom had the same reaction when I told her my baby had transitioned from embryo to fetus (which I was excited about!)  People are so weird.
    indulgentgypsypizzaplzacgx
  • acgxacgx
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    @quinniebear Right?? People are so weird. She literally, by definition, is a fetus. Why is that inappropriate to say?? 

    @Cbeanz Me too! I'm a literal person and a medical person. A 25 week old unborn human is a fetus and nothing else, by definition! 

    @cindler Exactly!! She's like the greatest parasite ever, but since we're talking about literal definitions... Parasite applies  :D



    indulgentgypsyhakelecindler
  • I need to vent! Hubby and I are moving in the next few weeks and I totally understand combining that with being 23 weeks pregnant is a lot to take one. But why, oh why, must everyone point it out and feel sorry for us. Like hello, we decided to move, we decided to get pregnant,  I dont need your sympathy! I am fine, the baby is fine, and we are excited to move out of our duplex and into a home! I'm so sick of everyone only wanting to talk about the baby and our house. When did I become a charity case??? My MIL is the worst culprit of this. She asks me about 20 questions everytime we talk. How are you feeling, when is your next appointment, are you relaxing enough, are you guys taking a childbirth class yet, are you able to receive mail at your new house yet...this list goes on!  I also had a short cervix 2 appointments ago and had to go back 2 weeks later to have it checked (it fixed itself). But its driving me nuts that literally everyone who knew this about me said "that must be a new thing they check for because I've never heard of that". It makes it sound like I'm overreacting or something. Like I'm just going with what my doctor said! Ugh...rant over.  
    hakelequinniebearacgx
  • @firsttimemommy0719 ugh that is super annoying! I hate that once you get pregnant people treat you with these kid gloves and you're not allowed to do anything other than sit down and grow a baby! I told my coworker I was having an anatomy scan done, she asked if it was due to my age (I'm 33!!) and I said "no, the doctors just scheduled this for me" and she proceeds to tell me how she didn't have any of those with her kids (15yrs ago).

    Today I've had two different coworkers ask me if I am wearing maternity jeans.. I'm 23 weeks and obviously showing, nice of you to think I can still squeeze my growing thighs into my pre pregnancy jeans... 

  • @jennm0724 oh my word I would have wanted to slap her! 33 is not old! I'm a FTM at 30 and would be so hurt if someone made a comment like that! And why do women who had children 10+ years ago make comments like that! So much has changed in that many years. It's so annoying. Haha yeah some people make the most obvious comments.  Hello captain obvious...
  • hestia14hestia14
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    Coworker: *walks into my office* “How are you feeling?”
    Me: (*thinking* I really need to keep count of how many times people ask me that.) “Fine.”
    Coworker proceeds to ask about invoices, and I explain to her for the hundredth time I don’t work with invoices. Then she turns to leave. 
    Coworker: *turns back around* “When are you due?”
    Me: “July 18.”
    Coworker: *turns to leave, then turns back around* “Boy or girl?”
    Me: “Girl.”
    Coworker: *turns to leave, then turns back around* How are you feeling? Any morning sickness?
    Me: “Fine.” (*thinking* is it really any of your business if I’ve had morning sickness?)
    Coworker: *turns to leave, then turns back around* Any names picked out?


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    indulgentgypsymamanbebequinniebearjenniferjoy37
  • cindlercindler
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    @hestia14 I am so sick of answering the "how are you feeling" question! Like, how am I supposed to feel?
    indulgentgypsy
  • @hestia14 @cindler "how are you feeling" becomes the most annoying question, like.. HI, we are still real people capable of adult conversations about other topics, not just a giant incubator growing a human child. 
    Ticker Warning
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    cindlermsimi
  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    Oh no! I actually don't mind being asked how I'm feeling so I've been asking my pregnant friends/coworkers how they're feeling this whole time  :#

    There was a stark contrast after my first was born where no one asked me anymore. Suddenly they only cared about the baby. So I've been trying to pay more attention to the moms. Probably driving a few of them nuts.

    @hestia14 @cindler
    pizzaplzfromcatstokidsgbud630indulgentgypsy
  • @Cbeanz I don’t mind either. I’d rather them ask that than make rude comments or ask if the baby was planned.  I don’t mind the attention shift to the pregnancy and baby while I’m pregnant... so maybe you’re not driving all of them nuts. 😉
    Cbeanz
  • hestia14hestia14
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    edited April 9
    @cindler @cbeanz @mamanbebe @mama_bear19 I'm on the fence with how I feel about it. I don't like it when people replace the standard "how are you" with "how are you *feeling?*" Like, this woman who I rarely work with walked into my office and asked how I was feeling, like I have a visible injury or something. I'm glad that people care, but it's like they see the pregnancy before they see me. It's a lot like when I was engaged--people always asked me, "How's wedding planning going?" I told DH I was going to be way less interesting once the wedding was over. :D 
    The thing that really irritated me was for one thing, this woman clearly was trying to stall going back to her desk, and two, the morning sickness question. Why does everyone think that me vomiting is any of their business? It's like, if someone says they were sick, I should respond with, "Oh, was it diarrhea?" :unamused: 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    mamanbebe
  • @hestia14 I think some people just find it easier to fixate on major life events especially because the standard how are you has become so meaningless. I think some are just nosy.  I think others truly care how you’re feeling.  
    BigBadWolf12
  • mamahmh2mamahmh2
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    I don’t mind the “how are you feeling” question either! I’m with @Cbeanz,  now that I’m on my second, nobody asks 😂 they also think since I’ve done this once, that I don’t need help with anything this go around. I’m not big on asking for help, but damn being pregnant with a toddler is A LOT harder! 

    <3 Boden Gray 8-13-16
    <3 BB Girl Expected 7-10-19 

    Cbeanz
  • hinoteshinotes
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    I like getting asked how I'm feeling, but it can get to be a bit much if the baby is the main topic of conversation all the time as opposed to the occasional question or two.  

    @hestia14 ; I used to get pretty annoyed with the wedding planning question, because it would make me feel a little stressed to think about what still needed to be done and stuff, in the middle of a social conversation.  I'd equate that one to something like "are you ready for the baby" or "how's the nursery coming along" or something like that, which would make me feel pressured.
  • This is my third and I usually only get the "How are you feeling?" question from people at church. I feel very blessed to be able to say "great!" My sister in-law was just diagnosed with hyperemesis graviderum and has been soo sick. On top of it, she has high blood pressure and was told she has A- blood type so she'll need shots at the end of the pregnancy.  It also means she's unlikely to have any more children (which at this point is fine with her!).
    Anyway, I feel like I was most bothered by people's comments with my first. I hated that my father in law was so sure it was a boy (it wasn't 😆), I hated people touching my stomach, etc. I was also working and around the general public more than I am now, so that was probably part of it. This one co-worker always told me how small I looked, then after the baby was born she was like, "She was only 7lbs?! I thought you looked bigger than that!!"🤦🏼‍♀️ 
    Cbeanz
  • I have been getting the "you must be almost due!" comments and looks (you know the looks) ... and im like um no, I am 27 weeks and still have a ways to go thank you. I know my bump is big (compared to my first pregnancy I currently look 33 weeks) but that's just how I carry. When people look at me all shocked that I am *just 27 weeks* it makes me feel like a freak of nature.
    gbud630wabash15
  • My bump really popped (finally) in the last week...so welcome all of the comments. I’m still measuring a bit small (22cm at 25 weeks) and since I have a single cord insertion growth is being watched closely...which makes me more sensitive to the bump size comments. 
  • This one isn't about being pregnant, it's about my parenting of DD.  

    I am not a huge fan of my mother in law. 

    She came over Sunday night and we ordered in dinner.  DD (2.5 years) said she only wanted to eat rice.  I offered her a hot dog to go with the rice and put some tomatoes on her plate.  MIL wouldn't stop about how DD needs to eat vegetables.  I explained that DD eats a lot of raw vegetables, and had 4 mini peppers at lunch.  I do not make her eat fruits and veggies at every meal.  She then went on to complain that DD refuses cooked vegetables.  She tried to get DD to eat curry.  DD does not like any food with "sauce."  This caused DD to say she wasn't eating any dinner.  I finally coaxed her into trying her food.  DD ate an entire hot dog and some rice and wanted to play.  My mother in law scolded her that it was "eating time, not play time."  I said "after she eats, she doesn't need to stay at the table."  My mother in law shot a dirty look my way.
    indulgentgypsy
  • @ketomommy sounds like you need to shut that down.  I won't allow anyone to treat me that way regarding my parenting.  They will be annoyed but you will feel better knowing you asserted yourself.  My even stop these comments completely.  How does your husband feel about her doing these things?


  • @ketomommy fuck that! Your child, not hers, your rules, not hers, your life, not hers. Honestly, at this point I personally would have told her to fuck off - but that's only if DH didn't beat me to it. 
    mamanbebe
  • @JLHeisler Hubby is totally on board with my feelings about her.  This isn't the first time.  She has made judgmental comments about me from the minute he brought me home to meet his parents.  Initially she said that I was an inappropriate girlfriend because I did nothing to make myself be "glamorous."  It only got worse once we got engaged.  She decided I was a "gold digger" who came from a "poor family" and was "marrying him for his money."  She based this belief off of the fact that my parents gave us more than my annual salary at the time for the wedding, but wouldn't put up the 100-200k that she felt a decent wedding requires.  

    Her current major "concern" is how I am handing Passover.  I don't want to go to her house, because she lives in the city and the apartment is not child proofed  I was gracious enough to invite her guests to my house.  I am too pregnant to cook for 10 people.  I decided to cater the meal.  Apparently this shows what a horrible host I am.  
  • @ketomommy ; My in-laws are incredibly religious and judgmental.  My MIL was secretly combatant about everything I was involved in.  To the point where my husband finally snapped and told her off (as best he can because he's a mama's boy, but a mama's boy that only visits when I plan it out).  I had our first child and she fell in line.  She knew if I was going to come over with the child I would only do it if she were nice to me and quit causing me drama.  She did.  I'm not saying use the kids, but there is nothing wrong with asserting that you will not be second guessed and/or treated disrespectfully in front of your children.....  I think my husband saw the writing on the wall and addressed her dislike of me himself without me knowing.  He knew I wouldn't go over there with my children if I felt her disrespect....
    hestia14
  • JLHeisler said:
    @ketomommy ; My in-laws are incredibly religious and judgmental.  My MIL was secretly combatant about everything I was involved in.  To the point where my husband finally snapped and told her off (as best he can because he's a mama's boy, but a mama's boy that only visits when I plan it out).  I had our first child and she fell in line.  She knew if I was going to come over with the child I would only do it if she were nice to me and quit causing me drama.  She did.  I'm not saying use the kids, but there is nothing wrong with asserting that you will not be second guessed and/or treated disrespectfully in front of your children.....  I think my husband saw the writing on the wall and addressed her dislike of me himself without me knowing.  He knew I wouldn't go over there with my children if I felt her disrespect....
    Yes!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    JLHeisler
  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    Meh, use the kids. Lol. As long as they're still young enough to not understand what's going on. Hahaha
    indulgentgypsy
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