Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread - Page 8 — The Bump
July 2019 Moms

Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

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Re: Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

  • Honestly best thing about this pregnancy has been I'm carrying so high and all my weight gain has been in the front I actually got a cute belly and bump this time. If someone were to tell me I didn't look pregnant I would smack them. 
    gbud630Cbeanz
  • acgxacgx
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    hakele said:
    I’m SOOO over people making comments like, “Enjoy your sleep now, you won’t get any soon.” Or Enjoy X now. Or you won’t have time for that when the baby comes. 
    It isn’t helpful. It isn’t kind. It’s just rude and obnoxious and I’m over it. 
    I couldn't agree with this more. One of these times I'm just going to be like, "Yes asshole, I'm aware. I don't live under a rock." I mean, do people think this is some great revelation...??
    hakelecindlermamanessen
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  • leylea89leylea89
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    @cbeanz lol yeah, my family has always pointed them out to me so I’m very aware of the fact. It’s funny but irritating.

    I’m glad that all of you feel the same way about people telling you you’re very small or don’t look pregnant. When someone says they’re pregnant, why can’t people just say congrats? Lol. 
    gbud630
  • expatmom39expatmom39
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    @ketomommy Hope your daughter is doing well! Sounds like that lady is socially awkward. I don’t know how I’m going to handle crazy weird comments about this kid, he’s my first and I’m old and scrappy! 😉 I don’t have the same filter/tolerance as 10 years ago! Not for that nosy, passive aggressive crap!!
  • ketomommyketomommy
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    @expatmom39 She's making progress.  She's super smart, but her body isn't caught up to her mind.  Same lady approached me in the elevator today to encourage me to take on our new Executive Director in a staff meeting today.
  • Thanks strange lady who told me I looked like I was carrying twins. -_- I just bought you a coffee because you didn't realize the shop was cashless, and this was the thanks I got. 
    BFP ♡ Jan 2016 - M born Oct 2016
    PPD for 1yr+ post-pregnancy
    BFP ♡ Sept 2018 - CP @ 5 weeks
    BFP ♡ Nov 2018 - Baby R due Jul 2019


    gbud630indulgentgypsypizzaplzcraftywitch
  • hinoteshinotes
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    So many of these posts are on this list: https://www.scarymommy.com/enrage-pregnant-woman/  Shouldn't this be common sense at this point?  Sorry about all the inappropriate reactions and comments from people...
  • I had a patient of mine tell me “oh, looks like you were in an accident.” Like, what the actual f*ck, ya dick... we planned on having a second child. Who are you to assume it was an accident? 
    hakelegbud630
  • @jenniferjoy37 omg wtf. Was that an attempt at humor? Are people just dying to try out one-liners on pregnant people? 🤬 Hopefully that’s all it was...so dumb...
    jenniferjoy37hakele
  • leylea89leylea89
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    @indulgentgypsy seriously? It looks cute and last I checked, they are not your doctor, hair stylist or anything else. They can just go reminisce about how they used to be told it was fine to drink while pregnant.
    indulgentgypsygbud630pizzaplz
  • leylea89leylea89
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    Also, technically not an inappropriate comment but my boss told me her horror story of losing amniotic fluid so her baby stopped kicking and being told that if she’d been 24 more hours, her baby wouldn’t have survived. 

    That on on top of my mom telling me that she felt everything with my sister because she lost amniotic fluid makes me feel like whether I feel him or not, I’m scared. 
    indulgentgypsy
  • hestia14hestia14
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    @leylea89 Weird, DH's aunt told me over the weekend that one of her pregnancies ended in an emergency c-section because she had no amniotic fluid. I'd never heard of that happening until now :grimace: 

    Today someone guessed I was three weeks away from my due date, then not even five minutes later someone else said I was "barely showing at all." I guess I can split the difference and say I'm average. :smirk:
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    gbud630CbeanzBigBadWolf12
  • tsa208tsa208
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    edited May 14
    I am not a petite woman, but for some reason, my bump doesn't stick out much. So I get the "you don't look that pregnant" comments and it really annoys me. Glad I'm not the only one! Also, my MIL tries to compliment me on being small, mostly by comparing me to other pregnant women - including some of our relatives - "that are just so fat." I just find that extremely offensive. IDK, once I got pregnant the first time, I felt this total solidarity with my fellow pregnant women, lol. It's hard enough being pregnant without being judged for what you look like. I'm not watching my calories, just eating what I can, when I can, so I very well could have gotten "so fat" too and would she then be saying/thinking that about me? 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    hestia14key33
  • hestia14hestia14
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    @tsa08 I am a petite woman and I totally feel you on being compared to larger women. When I was engaged this woman came up to me, totally unprompted, and asked, "What do your bridesmaids look like, size-wise? You don't want any fatties standing next to you at the altar." :flushed: Then she tried to walk it back by saying that since I'm "so tiny," (thanks a lot) it would look weird having a large person standing next to me on my wedding day. :unamused: 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • Bear14+Bear14+
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    @tsa208 I also get the small comments when people find out I'm almost 30 weeks. I just try to smile and say something nice... but it really does get old. I try to not let it bother me, mostly though, it's my H who is constantly on me to eat more... I'm just like, "leave me alone!!! I eat all the time and I'm freakin full!!" .... I can assure you that eating more will not make the baby bigger  :/
    acgxhinoteskey33
  • acgxacgx
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    Me too on the small comments... "Are you sure you're 32 weeks?" Oh gosh, yea I must've miscounted 🙄🙄🙄🙄
    indulgentgypsykey33
  • So on the opposite but similar end I get the "you're so big! Are you sure your're due... You must have miscounted". Um no. I know the EXACT DAY I ovulated and conceived. I was tracking, trying and my personal menstruation schedule is very regular.  I knew the exact day I conceived with both my boys too for the same reason. My MIL said - "oh, because you have sex so rarely" when I told her I knew the exact day. Um, no. Not that it is any of your fucking business how often I have sex with your son... SMDH.  I'm plus sized, 5'11 DH is 6'4 - we don't grow small babies! We never have. 
    acgxtsa208key33
  • hinoteshinotes
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    @indulgentgypsy Oh no...  That comment from your mother in law is atrocious.  I'm both sorry and infuriated for you.  

    @Bear14+  I am so tired of people trying to tell me to eat more, or that I'm not eating like I'm pregnant (fortunately, my husband understands, though).  I'm short, so there's not much room in there, and I've been battling terrible heartburn that consistently got worse over the entire 7 months, so I physically can't eat much at a time.  My doctor isn't worried, and the baby keeps on getting bigger, so I'm fine.
  • cindlercindler
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    Ok, so I must have popped in the last few days.  After a couple days away last week, when I got home DH said I looked more pregnant.  I had a complete stranger ask me whether I was due soon or whether I had to wait through the hot summer.  Nothing offensive, but the first time I've had someone just assume I'm pregnant.  Then, my APRN at my prenatal appointment today said I was looking much more pregnant than my visit two weeks ago.  Finally, a lady in my office building who I've never told I'm pregnant (doesn't mean someone else didn't tell her) tentatively inquired into my due date.  She was thinking October, so she was surprised to hear July.  Again, not offensive, but this is the first day I've gotten unsolicited pregnancy comments/questions from people who don't know.
  • I'm with you guys on the sizing comments. However, I've gotten "wow you don't look pregnant," on Saturday to "looks like you'll go any day," today. Which to the looking bigger comments, this person knows when I am due soo thanks for the wishes of premature delivery? People are so odd haha, especially because this came from someone who has a four or five year old so I'd assume that she would remember how annoying those comments are.
  • When my MIL was asked by a friend “are you excited to be a grandparent ?” 
    My MIL replied “ eh I’m ok with it but my husband (FIL) is more excited”

    like really? If you’re not excited gtfo 🙄
    gbud630
  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    @firsttimemommy0719 AAAAAA!!!!!! People who don't understand how pregnancy timelines work drive me nuts! Simple facts like: you're not actually pregnant the first 2 weeks. And when they can't convert weeks to months etc. Drives me insane! And of course you don't want to explain bc it's too "personal" ughhhh!!!
  • @Cbeanz & @firsttimemommy0719 I don't care about "too personal" :) If you're going to ask me stupid fucking questions or get personal I will tell you the truth! I also don't have a problem telling someone "none of your fucking business" in just those words. 
    Cbeanzgbud630fromcatstokids
  • leylea89leylea89
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    edited May 21
    On the plus side today, I told the city bus driver how I’m expecting and she asked how far along I am. When I told her I’m 7 months and have 9 weeks left, she didn’t comment on my size. She just said “Oh! You look great!”

    Ding ding ding! That’s the correct thing to say lol. 

    Especially since I was feeling self conscious about my small bump after my aunt came and did maternity pics with me. The pics were lovely but my bump is hardly noticeable because I still have a sometimes bump and my size.

    My sister also helped me feel better about it. When I told her how I don’t feel like I look good, she said ‘why would you want to look huge? You still have so much stuff to do and you don’t want to be uncomfortable all summer. Don’t wish that on yourself. You look good and my nephew’s healthy, just worry about that. You didn’t do like Drea (our other sister) and get wide or too big to move and you don’t have any health issues like her diabetes and pre-eclampsia. You’re doing the right things! Maybe like the day before you deliver you can get the pics you want but just enjoy being able to move without swollen ankles.’

    I didn’t realize how much I’ve internalized the comments I hear on my bump until this week. I’ve been judging myself more than the strangers do. That and seeing all of you at similar points in your pregnancy to me and still just looking like ‘maybe she is, maybe she isn’t’ really did get to me. So I guess my inner voice is guilty of the inappropriate comments today. I’m just glad the universe sent other voices to shut it up. 
    pizzaplzgbud630fromcatstokids
  • I’ve had two awkward (for the other people-not me) moments when people referenced having sex to get pregnant and I respond with my IVF process. 
    I like to make people uncomfortable when they make assumptions. 
    Cbeanzgbud630indulgentgypsyfromcatstokids
  • key33key33
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    🙋🏻‍♀️ Add me to the “you hardly look pregnant, I can’t believe your due so soon” list. 😒

    It gets very old, I was small before I got pregnant and I’m not magically going to double in size from head to toe. I can’t zip any of my jackets and can wear a handful of regular shirts. My MIL says it practically every time she sees me. This weekend  she's like look your wearing your normal shirts. To which I replied ”no, these are cheap tanks I bought at Walmart in a bigger size than I usually wear”.

    My stomach looks like I have a watermelon shoved under my shirt an everything hurts. So hearing how ”not pregnant” I look at this point just makes me instantly pissed off. 
    fromcatstokids
  • @mamahmh2 “you look like you could die tomorrow” 🤣 
  • mamahmh2mamahmh2
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    @expatmom39 hahah two can play the brutally honest + rude game! 😂

    <3 Boden Gray 8-13-16
    <3 BB Girl Expected 7-10-19 

  • @Cbeanz Right?!?! And if you dont know what you are talking about just stop talking!! Its just not a socially acceptable discussion to try to figure out when someone else conceived and then try to convince them you're right. People are so weird. 

    @indulgentgypsy Oh my gosh I wish I had your courage lol! That's exactly what I want to tell people though! People are so stupid and it's so irritating 

    My husband's aunt and uncle came over last night. They wanted to see our new house. The first thing she says to me is "are you sure theres a baby in there? You hardly look pregnant ". Umm yes pretty certain there is a baby in there. Also how in the world do I not look pregnant when I can no longer see my feet and I cant get put of bed without extreme grunting anymore???? Then as we are showing them our house which we have been in for a month and a half now she keeps saying "wow, you guys are much further along than I thought".  Like did she think we would just be tripping over boxes for the rest of our lives?? This is how the conversation should have gone
    1. Compliment the preggo by saying "you look really good"!
    2. Compliment the couple by saying "I love your house and am so happy for you!" 
    Why is it so hard for people to appropriately compliment!!!!

    fromcatstokids
  • jennm0724jennm0724
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    Went to Home Depot to pick out some paint samples for the baby’s room. I hand the lady 4 purple colors and she asks me if I’m having a boy after looking at my belly. I tell her no, it’s a girl. She says “really??” Like I’m lying..bitch I’m picking purple colors and told you it’s a girl...then she says you look like you’re ready to pop! That’s the first time I’ve been told that, I was so annoyed because I think I look pretty good for 32wks. Stupid lady pissed me off. 
  • mamahmh2mamahmh2
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    @jennm0724 UGH, she sounds incompetent! Strangers are so annoying. 

    <3 Boden Gray 8-13-16
    <3 BB Girl Expected 7-10-19 

  • jennm0724jennm0724
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    @mamahmh2 I almost rather have the stranger who wants to touch my bump then the ones who tell you that you look huge or you don’t know the sex of your baby 🙄🙄
  • cindlercindler
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    @hestia14 I LOVE the response to your FIL's comment.  Perfect comeback!!
    hestia14
  • hinoteshinotes
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    @hestia14 those are all terrible, but the pedicure one would irritate me the most. Trying to make some time to do something for yourself and try to relax or destress is so important at this point, regardless of the functional need to have your toenails cut... Annoying to get that reaction from a family member.

    On the topic of pedicures, I went for one recently, 33 wks along, and made a joke to the nail tech that I can't reach my toenails anymore, then I had to explain why, and got this shocked reaction saying that I don't look pregnant.  I'm 5'1 and basically a giant round belly with arms and legs at this point.  How could I still not look pregnant???
    hestia14
  • cindlercindler
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    @hinotes whenever I hear that (which I dont seem to anymore) I want to ask whether I just look that fat. 
    BigBadWolf12fromcatstokids
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