Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread - Page 3 — The Bump
July 2019 Moms

Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread


Re: Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

  • @nopegoat omg, I feel like you need a sling for that belly at 35weeks! I'm 5 ft. and I feel like I'm gonna show just like you :(
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  • @angelkat79 those are some real gems there. Why do people have to comment on the “advanced maternal age” stuff. It’s like yeah, we already know. 
    I don know what thread I posted it in, but my great grandma had all 3 of her boys after age 40! 
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  • @babyginjuly its pretty ridiculous towards the end. I always have bad round ligament pain, sciatica, and back pain. 

    Inappropriate comment of a different kind. Had a cashier notice my belly and sincesince she was KU too she started talking pregnancy. When I was paying she brought up mucus plugs and told me she started losing hers...

    Dude. You just don't tell random strangers IRL about that lol. 

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  • My mom referred to LO (her first grandchild) as "our baby". Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt since she's so excited, but if this continues, there will be a hormonal, angry conversation happening stat.
  • @angelkat79 the first thing I said to my dad when he told me he and my stepmother were having a baby was, you're gonna be 70 when the baby graduates from high school! 😳 in my defense, I was 16 and he was 52. And as it turns out, I was wrong, she graduated a year early and he is turning 70 this year lol. 
  • I hate questions about if we will stay in our 1.5 bedroom apartment or not. As if it's a matter of simple choice and preference. All my friends and family were well established when they had their first child and were able to give it the proper Pinterest nursery of their dreams, but my husband and I have had some alternative paths and so aren't as established as we would like to be, for our ages, and we also hail from expensive parts of the country with the highest COL. So the answer is no the baby will not have it's own nursery and yes its stuff will be out in the living room and yes it will be sleeping in our room until it is at least 8 months old and yes we know no one will be able to escape the 3am screams. My mom keeps trying to tell me how we can rearrange our whole apartment and move our master to the tiny office/den so the baby can have our actual bedroom all to itself as a proper nursery and even suggested I could go nurse the baby in our apartment's TRASH ROOM that is right outside our apartment door so that I don't disturb DH. They all mean well, but its very insulting and not telling us anything we don't already know or feel self conscious about already. 
  • @julybaybay That baby is going to know one home and it will be your home. And you guys will all figure out who sleeps where, even if that means baby gets a pack n play in the living room! That baby will know whether it's loved and cared for and will never know about some Pinterest nursery. 
  • Here was a gem I received the other day:

    "Pregnant?!  I don't know whether to say 'congratulations' or 'I'm sorry.' How old are you anyway? You've got to be advanced maternal age."

    -my kid's friend's mom

  • My stepdad asked if this baby was planned. Guys, I know surprises can happen anytime but it's our first, we've been married for 6.5 years, my husband is FINALLY done with school and training, and you think this was unplanned? Also, don't ask that question ever. To anyone.

    (I posted a while ago about our friends asking the same thing.)
    July 4th
  • Sorry to hear about all of these comments you all are getting.  Fortunately, I haven't had anything inappropriate said yet, but I get annoyed by silly comments about the baby's gender, like whether or not I'll be upset about having a boy, or if I want a "mini-me"... I just want a healthy baby.
  • @julybaybay when we had DD we had a fully open concept apartment - our room was a mezzanine that overlooked the living area. There was a tiny (6m2) room that had a door that had been a music room/office and we converted to baby room.

    It is true that there was nowhere to escape hearing baby...ever...but we were just so tired all the time I think DH would have slept through anything!! Lights? No problem. Crying? Bring it on ;) 

    I will admit though that when DD was 2 weeks old i freaked out about the situation and we shopped for a new place/made an offer on the 2nd apartment we visited.
  • @firecracker_mama Really don't get why people ask that!!! I've been asked by most of DH's family and it's like, why do you need to know that? I don't think I've ever asked anyone that, even close friends. 
  • During my last pregnancy, my husband's aunt said the following in front of my husband's entire extended family: "Your boobs are huge! They look great! Karen, don't her boobs look great?" - pointing at my boobs to husband's other aunt.
  • a coworker told me today " You should probably stop wearing tight clothes now, you're suffocating your baby" *eye roll*
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  • @babyginjuly What in the world? Do they think baby breathes through a straw that they hold up to your belly button? 
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  • @mamanbebe lol I was wondering the same thing.. I just looked at her and said "I feel pretty comfortable in my clothes so i'm sure baby is fine but thanks for the advice"
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  • @julybaybay We're dealing with that too. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment in the city. Our other friends that are pregnant recently bought beautiful close to a million dollar homes. Granted, they are 10 years older than us and are either in the medical or financial field. It's super uncomfortable going to their houses and looking at their gorgeous pinterest nurseries. 

    My in-laws have really been frustrating me. They have only been calling/texting my husband to check in. And I can HEAR THEM on the phone. "How's she doing? How's she feeling? When's her next appointment? Did she announce at work?" Like hello! I'm my own person and you can call me and chat like we usually do! I'm the one that's actually pregnant, not him! 

    MIL called last night and I heard MH say, "Well she's right here, you can ask her yourself." So we had an awkward speaker phone conversation between the 3 of us 🤦‍♀️
  • @cindler ; my MIL said pretty much the same thing, except when we showed her the ultrasound when we told her we were pregnant she goes " is that MY baby " and of course I had to bite my tongue.. on the drive home I told my hubs this is not HER baby and she needs to not say that.. talking to his niece who just had her baby in June said that my MIL did the same thing to her.. YAY.. she also tried to touch my belly, and I had to back up and say please don't touch me, it makes me uncomfortable and you're just going to touch my fat anyways.. 
  • @meandlittleb I told husband we have a "no-information" policy with my In-Laws. He is not to share anything without discussing it with me. If asked anything, "Everything is fine." I'm just not that open about stuff. I think my in-laws are under the mistaken assumption that we are closer than we really are... so, I'm dealing with some boundaries issues right now. 
    @jennm0724 I've been practicing the "respect my space" talking points! 

    What is with these MY baby comments. I'd be livid. 
  • @Cbeanz that comment your kids friends mom made was way past inappropriate! Just plain mean. Who would say such a thing! 
  • cindler said:
    My mom referred to LO (her first grandchild) as "our baby". Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt since she's so excited, but if this continues, there will be a hormonal, angry conversation happening stat.

    @cindler I see how it could rub you the wrong way but I call my baby ‘our baby’ when talking to my parents. I mean, I did use a donor, but to me it’s not weird either way. I call my niece and nephew ‘my babies’ when a I ask my sister about them. It’s more of a village mentality. I mean if she said ‘my grand baby’ is that really much different? It’s still just laying claim to our new roles in the unborn’s life. Sometimes my sister says “come and get your niece.”

    It’s just more love to share and she’s just excited. Wouldn’t you prefer that over her being like some of the comments on here where the grandparents aren’t excited or even judgmental? 

    I mean if she starts to insert insert herself in parenting decisions, by all means, go nuts. Lol. But don’t be surprised if the second you have the baby she walks in your house saying ‘where’s my precious baby?’ Before acknowledging your existence. All parents are chopped liver once the baby comes.

  • @meandlittleb my in-laws are like this, too. It took my MIL forever to even acknowledge my pregnancy. My SIL still hasn’t even said congratulations to me, but she has talked about my pregnancy to my husband in front of me. It’s so f*cking weird. At least my parents are super supportive and enthusiastic! And they actually understand boundaries, which I realize is a true gift.
  • @leylea89 I don't have any problems with "my grand baby" or "your niece". It's the implication that comes with "our baby", like she's going to play a major part in how the baby is raised, that causes me concern. Like I said, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt because she's so excited about the grandchild she never thought she had, but if she lays claim to how the child is raised, that's another story.
  • rgn12rgn12
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    My grandmother got super mad at me the other day because I went to have an elective ultrasound. Then she proceeded to be upset that my nursery is upstairs and my master is downstairs. I tried to explain that she will be sleeping in our room for the first six months or so, and that we’ll have monitors and such. She got mad and said she had to go since I wasn’t agreeing with her. Then she sent me a thumbs up when I told her we were having a girl (she lives out of state and FB messenger is our primary quick communication or phone). Haven’t talked to her since. So disappointing. 
  • @cindler I had custody of my sister from 15-18 years old, and I call my niece my baby all the time. I never really thought of it offending my sister, because she's never said anything about it. I just think of them both as my babies. If my sister told me that this upset her, I would definitely stop. I definitely know she's not actually mine. 

    @rgn12 Sorry she's being like that. I hate when people think they know best about everything. My grandma loves to tell me what she did when she was raising her kids and how I should do the same thing. You got to make your decisions grandma, now I get to make mine.
  • rgn12rgn12
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    @shawnacrest exactly!!! That’s how mine is too, very much well this is how we did it in the “olden” days. I haven’t had too much feedback regarding my pregnancy so far, so I think it was a shock to my system. I guess I should expect this moving forward! 
  • @rgn12 Unfortunately both of our families love to give their unwanted opinions. My favorite is that we are letting strangers raise our son for us because he goes to daycare. Apparently, I have no reason to ever get frustrated with him because I'm not with him and choose to work instead. 😏 It took a while for me to realize the opinions will never end.
  • rgn12rgn12
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    @shawnacrest oh my gosh that’s crazy... 
  • @cindler we’re pretty much on the same page. ‘Our baby’ could sound imposing if presented the wrong way or if attached to parenting decisions, but standalone, it’s something that can be given a pass. It’s good you’re giving her benefit of the doubt. 
  • acgxacgx
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    cindler said:
    Since we've made the news more public, we've gotten a lot of comments that are basically "good luck being 9 months pregnant in the hottest month of the year". Not exactly inappropriate, but annoying nonetheless. 
    I've gotten this SO much too! Like I hadn't thought about it already  :|
  • People suck. I would never in a million years think to tell someone the most negative things I could think of when they share their good news with me. It tells you everything you need to know about them. They need to re-watch Bambi, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
  • Absolutely you can!  How exciting!  Congratulations!
  • msimimsimi
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    @cindler totally agree! I've gotten this too which is especially irritating because it took us a long time TTC. People can't seem to grasp that not everyone gets to plan out exactly when they want their kids to be born 🙄
  • @julybaybay AMEN! People really just don't think before they speak. The only thing people should say when you tell them or announce is congrats. Anything beyond that they're pushing it and could hurt someone's feelings, offend them, or anger them. I agree that never in a million years would I even have the mere thought to say some of the things people have. 
  • I just didn't want a fall baby. Nothing from Sept-Dec. So I got my wish! 
    And the hottest month of the year is August! Geez. 
    I live right next to the pool in our neighborhood and my house has amazing air conditioning. 
    Honestly, I think it is WAY better than winter. Coats. Scary Ice. Being stuck inside for all of maternity leave? No thanks! I'm so excited about this July baby! 
  • @hakele Same! I'm glad I had my first trimester when a lot of other people feel sick, anyway. And my balance is already bad enough as it is--I'd hate to be in my third trimester trying to walk across ice :confounded:
    (Watch, my next one will probably be a winter baby :p )
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