Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread - Page 4 — The Bump
July 2019 Moms

Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread


Re: Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread

  • @hakele I'm with you! It's way easier to worry about sunscreen/cover with a new baby than to have to wrap it up in a million layers because its freezing outside. Plus, the kid will get some awesome birthday parties without having to take treats to school for the whole class!!
  • @hakele agreed! Plus I feel that the extra daylight hours will help with any PPD, and since newborns usually fall asleep later anyway, having the extra hours of light to eat a later dinner, go to the pool or take walks will help everyone from feeling cooped up inside from 5pm onward. I am very excited about a summer baby. 
  • Yes! @cindler and @julybaybay You are on the money! 
    And I totally did think about the Summer birthday thing and not having to deal with the school drama of it, and that made me really happy.  My b-day was always in the first 3 weeks of school, so I didn't really know people from my class yet, it was always awkward. #SeptemberBaby 
    Like if we want to go on a family vacation for their birthday, we can always do that without interfering with school! 
  • @hakele I'm a September baby too! I always would get so excited to celebrate my birthday during school and no one would remember it. :/ But one year my friend was so upset she "missed" my birthday that she promised to decorate my locker the next time a friend of hers had a birthday. It was a month and a half late, but it made me really happy :) 
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  • The worst I’ve gotten so far is was it planned.  With my first, the worst I got was how did you fit through the door.  
  • Mine is a tad unique but ya know how EVERYONE asks “is this your first?” Well, when I say it’s my third and then get the “how old are your other two?” My answer makes everyone act insane. (My first son died when he was 2.5.) My general rule is to tell people who will be in my life long term. But I have a somewhat new job so that’s everyone I work with. And people cannot handle the news at all. I had a business lunch last week that totally derailed because of it. She couldn’t stop apologizing for “making me talk about it” when all I had said was that one sentence. 

    I am soon gonna start lying and say it’s my first. 
  • In case anyone deals with the “heat of summer comments... I have a friend due any day now in MN. Here’s what she posted on FB. 

    Her mantra for the week. 

  • @hakele that's terrifying!!! On the flip side... I'm terrified of hurricanes with a summer baby. We almost got it bad 2 years ago and I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't be with my two kids in the middle of a hurricane. No power, no communication....ahhh! It freaks me out...even though the chances are so crazy slim. 
  • @Bear14+ you’re in FL, right? Was it hurricane Irma? 
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  • @Bear14+ That is definitely a thought for those along the coast. I'm sitting here staring at my 9 inches of snow and I'm so thankful that I don't have to worry about it right now. 
  • @hakele It was Irma. Tampa was set for a direct hit until the very last minute. We had to leave our house and it was a total mess around here. Buying a case of water was near impossible. This past year we got off easy, hoping for another year like it! 
  • @Bear14+ it was awful! We left our house as well and rode it out at my in laws. My SIL ended up being induced right before the storm because they didn’t want to risk her going into labor and not being able to get to the hospital. They rode out the storm at the hospital. Such a scary time! We lost power for a week, but it could’ve been so much worst! Definitely hoping for another quiet year for us with storms 
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  • key33key33
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited January 29
    I’m excited to have a summer baby. My oldest is Jan. 24 and my youngest is Oct. 29. I’ll actually have some sunlight and be able to get outside with this one, I won’t be stuck inside in darkness most days. I also won’t have to worry  about school scheduless for a few months.

  • @nolemomma14 That's what I'm talking about... Riding out a hurricane in the hospital! They don't let your other kids stay there, I would be scared sick to have to do that and leave them somewhere else! Before kids hurricanes were a reason to throw a party around here, but now it's a whole different ball game having little people to protect and worry about! Ahhh the days of just having to care for myself! Glad everything went okay with your sister, that's scary! We luckily didn't lose power for very long, but geez, the hype leading up to that with that media was insane. It was like doomsday  :#
  • @key33 I'm so excited to have LOOOOONG days with this LO. We love sitting on our deck in the summer and it'll be great with a little human to share it with!
  • edited January 29
  • @Happyin14 omg ! i'm so sorry about your losses.. I can't even imagine!
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  • runner_dollrunner_doll
    10 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited January 29
    @hakele, my fingers are crossed for your friend! Those temps and windchills are insane. I'm originally from WI (live in FL now), and it's crazy to watch from afar most of my entire hometown essentially shut down for the next couple of days. Most schools, the malls, restaurants, and even UW-Madison is closed until Thursday! That NEVER happens. We lived there during the 2014 polar vortex and that was bad, but this time is much worse. It's supposed to get warmer by Saturday, so hopefully your friend's kiddo holds out until then!

    And add me to the cross-our-fingers-for-a-quiet-weather-season-in-Florida this year! Irma was our first hurricane and I really hope it was our last. We evacuated, and when we returned home, we didn't have power for only, like, 12 hours, but that was plenty when it was SO humid and hot out. Couldn't imagine having to get through that with a baby this year!
  • Pregnant with boy #2 and really wanted a girl both times. FIL corners me on Christmas day to tell me that I need to get pregnant with a girl and then, this is the kicker, shows me a pic of my DH's sister who died at 10 months and said, "Like this."

    1. my uterus is currently unavailable, 2. We really wanted a girl too, so thanks for rubbing it in, and 3. Why you gotta be all creepy about it?! 

  • @LandS2016 jeeeezzz that's horrible! I don't know how I would have handled that situation besides wanting to strangle your FIL.
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  • Female coworker of mine, upon seeing DH, shook his hand and said "glad to hear you finally got it deep enough, congratulations." SMH.
  • key33key33
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    @LandS2016 I think I would of went off on him if I was you. Who does that to someone? I'm sorry you had to experience that, it is completely unacceptable. Did your husband say anything to him when he found out what he did? 

    @Cindler What? That's like something a close friend would say joking around, not a random coworker.

    WTH is wrong with people. I’m thankful I haven’t had any ridiculously rude comments so far this pregnancy. 
  • @hestia14 as a woman in a male dominated field AND a mother of 3 daughters, those kinds of comments make me a special kind of angry.
  • @Cbeanz Right?! The (female) receptionist's comment especially touched a nerve with me because I was obsessed with outer space when I was little. It was one of the few things my mom and I could bond over: we used to go to lectures at the planetarium together and look for constellations on our porch. I even sent my Barbies on space missions. And not one single person, not even my grandmother who believed women shouldn't run for president, EVER told me that space was "for boys." I don't get why I'm suddenly running into people who think otherwise. A girl being interested in space wasn't groundbreaking in the 90s and it definitely shouldn't shock anyone today.
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  • Need some advice here. My SIL keeps comparing my pregnancy to her getting her eggs frozen last year...🙄

    I mentioned I had to pee a lot, and she said "Oh it was the same when I was freezing my eggs!" Annoying, but I let it slide. Then she made a cute comment on my little bump and I mentioned that I'll probably be switching to all leggings soon. Again, she goes "Yeah I only wore leggings when I was freezing my eggs. Nothing fit!" Annoyed, I said "Well it's a little different actually since I'm growing a baby." She says "No it's not. My doctor said by the time I went in for my procedure I was the size as if I were 4 months pregnant." 

    Yes but I'm actually 4 months pregnant (after trying for a REALLY long time) not just bloated from an elective procedure because you have no desire to settle down in your 30s! If she makes another comment I'm going to have to get bitchy...
  • @meandlittleb It's such a sensitive subject. She might be feeling a whole lot of biological clock pressure to be having babies right now if she's taking steps like freezing eggs. She might be anxious, jealous, and/or just trying to relate to you. I would probably just hear her comments and let them go. She knows she's not pregnant. Maybe this is how she processes that it'll be her time someday even if it's not today. Just my thoughts.
  • Was out with my youngest today, waiting in line to check out. An older couple behind me noticed the belly and asked the usual questions. I was friendly, told them it was our third and we already had two boys. They asked if I knew what i was having, told them I didn’t and we actually weren’t planning on find out. The wife goes “oh that’s a great idea, that way if it’s a boy, you won’t be disappointed at your ultrasound”. 

    Why, why, why do people think that having a third boy would be a let down!? I told her I was actually hoping for a third boy, but regardless we are just hoping for a healthy baby. 
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  • @nolemomma14 I don’t get it either! We have one boy and we’re having another boy. I’m really excited to have another boy.  I would have been excited about a girl too.  Luckily no one has made any comments about trying for a girl (yet).  
  • edited February 4
    I lurk on a few other pregnancy boards and a lot of the dialogue seem to be moms to be wishing for a girl that they can mold in their own image to be just like them.  I told my 14 and 11 year old daughters this and they just laughed and laughed, knowing that neither of them are like me.  My oldest is as opposite from me as you can possibly get.  It's the whole sugar and spice and everything nice friend for life mantra.  In reality, my daughters are both fiercely independent and love doing their own thing.  It's my boys (16 and 7) who actually want to hang out with me.  In terms of other people, I think if they assume that you have a lot of one gender you must automatically want the other.  
  • @hestia14 ; Yes, science is gender neutral!!!  Also, sports, music, cooking, superheroes, etc...  All gender related comments like that irritate me. 

    @xtinecatherine ; I didn't realize people really felt that way.  That explains some of the offensive comments we get about wanting a kid just like us.  Neither of us were hoping for a mini-me, just for a healthy baby.
  • @key33 He says weird stuff to me often, though this was probably the weirdest so far. I am sure my husband said something to him, but it never changes my FIL's behavior.  There were tons of other people around, otherwise he would have heard about it.

    @babyginjuly I am not usually at a loss for words. I was this time.
  • I have the opposite issue of a lot of people. I keep getting ”You look great with that extra weight, you should keep that weight on after this time”. I'm naturally thin, and always have been. I want to just punch people in the face everytime I hear a comment like this. 
  • @key33 Ugh, that's awful!! I hate that people think it's OK to comment on a woman's size as long as she's small. I got a lot of comments like that at my last job and my boss just said, "Well, at least they're not making fun of you for being fat." Sorry lady, still not OK, technically still harassment. :unamused: 
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  • MIL's best friend's son is having a boy and now she's hoping that my baby's a girl "so they can grow up and get married someday."
    Our babies aren't even born yet! Let them be kids before you start playing setting them up on dates!! :rage: 
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  • This may be backtracking, but I am an August birthday and in NY we did not start school until September.  They celebrated half birthdays, but the unfortunate part of that is that my half birthday fell on February 29th.  So that only worked every four years.  My 2nd daughter is a summer birthday and we just picked a day either end or beginning of the year to bring treats for her class. 
  • My SIL got me a girl onesie and sent me only girl name ideas (all which were named after my husband). Thanks for clearly letting me know that you want me to have a girl...but it’s a BOY! We’re 100% positive! 
  • @brake09 Wow! I wanted a girl but am having a boy and my sisters are ecstatic. They wanted a boy. Even still, they didn’t send me stuff like that. Not cool at all.
  • I’ve lost 11lbs since being pregnant because my baby hates, HATES sugar. I feel crappy, throw up, or both. Every. Single. Time. My mom said she wanted me to keep losing weight my whole pregnancy because it would be good for me. 

    Then, when she was just here, she said ‘you don’t even look pregnant’ a day after I’d shared my 17 week baby bump for the world. It’s there and id’s obvious but I’m a bigger woman and I know I won’t look really pregnant until I’m quite a bit farther along. 

    It hurts my feelings for her to speak to me like that. I know she doesn’t want to give me issues but it makes me feel bad.
  • @leylea89 Have you said anything to her? I'd have to tell her that her comments about my weight were hurtful. And that any weight loss or gain will be a conversation that you have with your Obstetrician. 

    This is coming from a girl that is a 30BMI, so I feel you. I also lost about 13 lbs in the first trimester and still haven't gained an ounce since then. But I know it will come. I will end up gaining. But my doctor said 11-20lbs is appropriate for my BMI. That is what I am aiming for. Also, thankful for the extra lbs that winter clothes are gaining me at the Dr. Office. hehe. Come summer, when I'm in shorts and a T and flip-flops, that'll help! 

    Anyways, from one bigger girl to another, I feel you. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. Just keep doing what is best for baby and for you. And give the rest of them the middle finger! 
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