@leighry Oh jeez. I hope you can catch a break and everything gets better from here on out.
My a-hole cat pissed me the heck off. You know how most cats like their indepedence and go off on their own. Not this cat. She is always up our butts and I feel bad because I don't have as much time to give her anymore. Around 8:30 S woke up and started crying which is super weird. She went right back to sleep. I decided to go check on her before I came to bed just to make sure she was ok. When I get to the door, the cat is meowing in her room. She must have been under the crib when I put S to bed. When I open the door to let her out S woke up crying. I had to calm her a bit before she was able to put herself back to sleep. This cat woke her up twice and I'm just so irritated with her. Sorry this was super long and probably belongs in a petty problem type of thread. I just hope it doesn't mess S up for the rest of the night.
Totally get it @ladybug2821. I actually gave my cat away last month. she wanted attention 24/7 and it got too much. Before I worked, but as I'm still on maternity leave she thought I was available all the time. She started doing things that weren't allowed just to get attention and I was afraid I would ruin such a sweet adorable cat. So she's now living with a 89 year old lady who has no family left and her days are all about the cat. I only had to promise this lady that I'll take the cat back if she dies before the cat. My cat has forgotten about me I think. I miss her, but it's definitely easier.
Hahahahahahaha, @kvruns that is hilarious. My husband's illness miraculously recovered in time for his me day. Although, I should say, he's a huge help not just with A but my mom, the dog and the cat as well.
He did just tell me he wants his ashes scattered wherever we scatter our cats ashes when she dies. Uh....
@leighry Man that sucks! I feel you though, when it rains, it pours. This year is just terrible for big financial things. We have the medical bills from birth, then in January our fridge and dishwasher went out so we upgraded the whole set and changed to a gas stove. The day we installed our appliances I went to the ER and had to have surgery to remove my gall bladder. Our A/C went out too and probably will need to replace it this fall but may be able to stretch it until spring. I also need a complete tune up on my vehicle including new tires and brake pads before the winter. H is finally going to the dentist and has a bunch of cavities to fill. It just feels never ending. 2018 cannot get here fast enough!
@Ladybug2821 Ugh my cat too! Last night he pissed me off so much. I was up on the computer (which I don't do often anymore) so he thought it would be fun to tear back and forth and meow super loud. LO was sleeping and he almost woke her up so many times! H & I need to make more of a point to play with him. Our animals have been slightly neglected since LO came.
Do you guys have home warranties? Ours came with the house but it's totally worth it, so much so that we renewed ours when it was due to expire. Our boiler was about to die and they replaced it, no questions asked, we just had to pay $200. After A was born and our older dog died, we put our dog in doggie daycare 2-3x per week and it has helped tremendously. He's exhausted when he comes home and he loves to go there. The hardware store is around the corner and every time we head there, he starts trotting and tries to pull us to daycare.
@RhodaMorgenstern I will check into the warranty. I vaguely remember something...maybe? Also I've been trying to tell H that we need to put the dog in daycare at least 1-2x a week and he is like "we can't afford it". I tell him well, if you stop spending $100+ per month eating fast food and gas station food then we could!
@m6agua do you guys have a dogtopia near you? They're a chain of doggie daycares, they just instituted a new membership program and it's not that bad. But yes, I can relate to the husband spending money on nonsense. Saturday, we went 20 minutes out of the way so my husband could "just look" at a new comic book store. Yes, "just look."
@RhodaMorgenstern no we don't. The one right by our house we love! It's $20/day or $15/half day. They do buy 10 get 11 free. There is another across town that we like that has similar rates. Lastly there is one that we can go to that is about $12/day if I get their deal but I do not prefer it.
I feel like I've been so busy lately and haven't had as much time to bump how I'd like. I've been doing so much at work and have been busy on the weekends. I love all the time I get with S on the weekends so I'm definitely not complaining about that. This is where I want to complain about my job. I'm starting to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. A few of my co workers went to different depts when I was on mat leave. I have basically been given most of their duties even though replacements have been hired. I'm also "mentoring" a new hire which in reality means that I'm training this new person because my mgr doesn't want to. On top of all that, I have the most clients out of anyone with the least amount of time in my day because of pumping. I seriously want to ask for a mid cycle raise. Yearly raises happened while I was on mat leave along with my bonus so I'm not sure how to approach it. I already mentioned to my mgr that it's not fair to reward the best with more work (think I got that quote from someone off here ) and she basically spun it and said well now you have all this stuff on your resume. Honestly I don't care about that because I'm not in a place to take on a different position right now. I would love to but I'm not willing to travel which is what I would have to do for the positions I'd be interested in. But at the same time I can see them giving me a hard time even though I'm just asking for more pay to match the amount of work I'm doing.
@ladybug2821 Maybe ask for a "career development plan"? Say you are at the top of your payscale for your current position, if you can make a list of all the things you are doing outside of your current job description maybe they can give you a new title, which could put you in a new payscale, which could give you more room to grow (in pay and job description). More responsibilities should mean more money and/or benefits/perks.
I would definitely go prepared with your job description and all of the things that you are doing above and beyond as proof of why you are a quality employee.
I don't know if this counts as a vent or just a pity party... But I'm just sitting here crying because I'm so mad/frustrated/upset/stressed that baby boy won't eat. I mean, he eats... But nothing like what everyone else's kids seem to be doing. He will eat oatmeal but it has to be warm. He will eat applesauce sometimes and everything else he gags or won't even open his mouth for. I get like one bite in and it's because I'm literally shoving the spoon in his mouth. He has started being fussy with bottles. He will eat maybe 4 oz of formula instead of the 6 he was taking and I can't even stop to burp him because if he stops he won't start again. He will nurse but my supply is getting crappier by the day. At our 6 month visit our pedi told me to "stuff his face" because he wanted him to gain weight. We go back Wednesday and he has only gained 1lb since that visit a month ago. I'm losing my mind.. if he won't eat how am I supposed to get him to gain weight? It's not like I can just give him a million bottles of formula during the day because he won't take more than about 4oz or won't take the bottle at all. So I'm just sitting here crying while wanting to throw the food I'm trying to get him to eat against the wall.
That's sounds super tough @leighry and is really unhelpful advice on behalf of your doctor. Maybe LO is teething in a terrible way or is constipated beyond belief and just needs time? They all develop at their own pace (like I need to tell you, you're on #4!) and we just have to do the hardest thing ever, which is be patient.
I wouldn't push the solids if he doesn't want it. Maybe just let him play with the spoon or a sippy cup of formula when everyone else is eating and see if he tries to mimic everyone around him. If he'll take a boob, give him the boob and if the bottle is the problem, maybe a different flow nipple or bottle entirely might be the solution. I'm not a good bottle person, but I know some formula fed babies who have responded really well to TommyTippee bottles. And if he won't surpass 4 oz, then stop at 4 and offer it more often and see if it creeps up then. And if you're able, maybe see if someone else can offer the bottle once in a while in case it makes a difference (I know it does for me).
Truthfully, we all know two things: 1.) they can read our emotions pretty well, so the calmer you are, the calmer he will be and 2.) If he's smiling and functioning, then he's thriving,which means he is ok even though the scale might not be where the pediatrician wants it.
Deep Breathes. And Carry On, Mama. You can do this.
awwww @leighry 1 lb in a month sounds good! That is frustrating he won't eat, and you're an experienced mom so I'm sure you're doing everything just right. That doesn't make him eat unfortunately If it were me I'd stick with what he will eat and how he will eat it - so if warm oatmeal is it, I'd do that and maybe try to work other things in but always have the oatmeal available just in case.
You've got a cute, smiley little guy so keep that in mind
I think one of the harder things is that he IS my 4th and I feel like I should know all the answers by now? I never had this issue with my girls (although they were never big babies... They ate).. I've tried so many different foods, different bottles and nipple flow for formula and it doesn't make a difference. He is starting to outright refuse the bottle from my husband and I'm not sure why (and he has little patience if Nick won't take it immediately so that doesn't help). I left late for work last night because I finally got him to take it and didn't want to interrupt him. I guess I'm frustrated too because he really is a happy otherwise healthy baby so I wasn't really concerned before his pedi brought it up and now I feel like instead of being the laid back mom I usually am I'm stressed about stupid stuff like him eating food. He is pooping just fine. I just kind of figured he was a smaller baby but I'm anxious about what the doc will say on Wednesday. I'm hoping 1lb is enough because between today and Wednesday not much will change.
That's frustrating indeed @leighry and what a fantastic advice your doctor gave you. My LO had a period of only drinking 4oz or less, so I offered the bottle more often. It was still small bits, but together they were a wee bit more.
I also would offer pieces of food and let him 'play' with it. Who knows something might and up in his mouth.
I like the idea of @sandnstarsnj to have him sitting with you when you are eating. It has worked for my LO. I had to have similar foods as her, cause she wanted the same. So I had kids friendly food for a week. Thick soups, yoghurt when she had fruitpuree, bread when she had bread etc. We shared one plate when eating bread. And I'd take bites of her food/spoon when feeding her. She got interested in foods and now 'steals' it from others.
@leighry if it is gonna help , i have cried few times today because L does not eat and she does not drink the bottle while I am at work. if she likes somethingm she gets 2-3 spoons but then She shuts her mouth so tight that there is no way to put the spoon in her mouth. she used to like banana and apple but she refuses them now too. Then i read or see how babies her age eat and it makes me super upset. Also the fact that she gained only half lb last month is increasing my anxiety.
B caught more daycare germs and is back to coughing all night long. Ugh. I just want to sleep! And of course he's not rested waking up every 2 hours too
@leighry If you don't mind me asking at the appointment when your doctor said to stuff his face how old was he and how much did he weigh? My LO is small too, she is following the 15th percentile growth curve exactly. My doctor isn't concerned that she is small because she is following the curve. For reference, at 6 months and almost 3 weeks (almost 29 weeks) she was 14lbs 10oz. Her appointment before that she was 12lbs14oz (19 weeks or 4 months 2 weeks). So that is about 1lb gain per month.
Thanks @ZoeFer. It's comforting to know you're there too but I feel bad you're there at the same time! He gained less than a pound between his 4month and 6month visit. I hate feeling so stuck.
@m6agua He was 6 months and weighed 12lbs 5oz. He was 11lbs 8oz at his 4 month appt.. So he gained less than a pound in those 2 months. That was the first time his doc had then charted his weight. He didn't mention percentiles.. But I'm assuming He is low. He is proportionate and meeting his milestones so I don't know. It's just frustrating.
LO gained less than a pound between his 4 and 6 month appointment over here too @leighry. I'm just the same, I worry and the guilt comes easy. Hoping you can find some peace and some foods LO might like. Maybe try some fruits in his oatmeal? Hopefully the doctor will have some more advice if they continue to be concerned about weight gain.
He's meeting his milestones - that's what matters @leighry. While my LO is bigger, he didn't gain a single ounce or grow even an 1/8 of inch between 4 and 6 months. They're all going to do something different.
@leighry my daughter was as an infant and still is as a three year old a very picky eater so I know what you are going through. Some things to remember: he won't let himself starve, so don't stress to much if he's not eating as much as you think he should. Find the things he likes and concentrate on those but sneak in a new food every once and a while to keep expanding his pallet. You already know how to tell if he's happy and content by the way he's acting so don't stress about the numbers too much. Even my chunky baby only gained 1 lb between his 4 and6 month appointments and he's a good eater so try to just remember that they really lean out around this time because they are more active now. you got this!
I'm so f*in exhausted. I even blow on my salad to let it cool down. My LO is probably teething and I couldn't find her amber necklace. She's biting on everything! Shes also in the middle of crawling, as she's on her knees and hands and rocking. She gets sooooo angry. On top of that she wants to sit, sit on her knees and stand. And preferably all done and learnt yesterday. Its 86F here and we are not build for that. So besides being frustrated it's too warm too nap. My sister is not keeping her promise as to help out. She hasn't babysit once, yet has done this with another baby and I always say yes to her. I moved bloody countries to be closer! I wrote my first ever solicitation letter in my mother tongue which I haven't used often in the last 11 years and she didn't even bother to have a read through even though she's a teacher. My maternity leave is soon over and I need a job and it frightens me, what if I don't find one? I left an amazing job and an amazing country to be closer to my family and been stupid to believe their promises of helping. I only need 1 night of sleep, just 1 so I can function again.
I'm so f*in exhausted. I even blow on my salad to let it cool down. My LO is probably teething and I couldn't find her amber necklace. She's biting on everything! Shes also in the middle of crawling, as she's on her knees and hands and rocking. She gets sooooo angry. On top of that she wants to sit, sit on her knees and stand. And preferably all done and learnt yesterday. Its 86F here and we are not build for that. So besides being frustrated it's too warm too nap. My sister is not keeping her promise as to help out. She hasn't babysit once, yet has done this with another baby and I always say yes to her. I moved bloody countries to be closer! I wrote my first ever solicitation letter in my mother tongue which I haven't used often in the last 11 years and she didn't even bother to have a read through even though she's a teacher. My maternity leave is soon over and I need a job and it frightens me, what if I don't find one? I left an amazing job and an amazing country to be closer to my family and been stupid to believe their promises of helping. I only need 1 night of sleep, just 1 so I can function again.
That totally sucks! I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. Could you hire a night nanny for a few nights or maybe once a week? That way she's still in the house but you can get some rest?
@tvh1982 I'm so sorry to hear your family has let you down so bad. Theres really nothing I can say to help or make things seem a bit better and I imagine crazy positivity will just drive you more crazy. Hopefully you manage a full night sleep soon. In the meantime, vent away and hugs sent your way.
@tvh1982 - that really sucks. Did you burn all your bridges in Norway? I seem to remember you saying that you hadn't officially quit that job when you went on leave. Would you consider going back there if you could?
Sorry you're struggling @tvh1982 that is tough to not get the help you thought you would. Is it just your sister or others too? That happened to my best friend when she had her baby (single mom) - her family wanted her to move by them so they could help and then about 6 months in they basically said you're in your own you need to get a new place.
@tvh1982 I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I can understand how hard it is when you don't have family to help. My situation isn't exactly the same because I just don't have family near me. But I'm sure it sucks even more when they are there and not helping especially when you've helped them. I think you've mentioned before that your LO has stayed at your mom's. Is that a possibility now or can your mom come to your house?
Re: June Venting/FFC/WTF
My a-hole cat pissed me the heck off. You know how most cats like their indepedence and go off on their own. Not this cat. She is always up our butts and I feel bad because I don't have as much time to give her anymore. Around 8:30 S woke up and started crying which is super weird. She went right back to sleep. I decided to go check on her before I came to bed just to make sure she was ok. When I get to the door, the cat is meowing in her room. She must have been under the crib when I put S to bed. When I open the door to let her out S woke up crying. I had to calm her a bit before she was able to put herself back to sleep. This cat woke her up twice and I'm just so irritated with her. Sorry this was super long and probably belongs in a petty problem type of thread. I just hope it doesn't mess S up for the rest of the night.
We have an official man cold in my house.
Me: guess you're too weak to eat them then. Sorry about your luck
she wanted attention 24/7 and it got too much. Before I worked, but as I'm still on maternity leave she thought I was available all the time. She started doing things that weren't allowed just to get attention and I was afraid I would ruin such a sweet adorable cat.
So she's now living with a 89 year old lady who has no family left and her days are all about the cat. I only had to promise this lady that I'll take the cat back if she dies before the cat.
My cat has forgotten about me I think.
I miss her, but it's definitely easier.
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He did just tell me he wants his ashes scattered wherever we scatter our cats ashes when she dies. Uh....
@Ladybug2821 Ugh my cat too! Last night he pissed me off so much. I was up on the computer (which I don't do often anymore) so he thought it would be fun to tear back and forth and meow super loud. LO was sleeping and he almost woke her up so many times! H & I need to make more of a point to play with him. Our animals have been slightly neglected since LO came.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019After A was born and our older dog died, we put our dog in doggie daycare 2-3x per week and it has helped tremendously. He's exhausted when he comes home and he loves to go there. The hardware store is around the corner and every time we head there, he starts trotting and tries to pull us to daycare.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I would definitely go prepared with your job description and all of the things that you are doing above and beyond as proof of why you are a quality employee.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I wouldn't push the solids if he doesn't want it. Maybe just let him play with the spoon or a sippy cup of formula when everyone else is eating and see if he tries to mimic everyone around him. If he'll take a boob, give him the boob and if the bottle is the problem, maybe a different flow nipple or bottle entirely might be the solution. I'm not a good bottle person, but I know some formula fed babies who have responded really well to TommyTippee bottles. And if he won't surpass 4 oz, then stop at 4 and offer it more often and see if it creeps up then. And if you're able, maybe see if someone else can offer the bottle once in a while in case it makes a difference (I know it does for me).
Truthfully, we all know two things: 1.) they can read our emotions pretty well, so the calmer you are, the calmer he will be and 2.) If he's smiling and functioning, then he's thriving,which means he is ok even though the scale might not be where the pediatrician wants it.
Deep Breathes. And Carry On, Mama. You can do this.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
You've got a cute, smiley little guy so keep that in mind
I think one of the harder things is that he IS my 4th and I feel like I should know all the answers by now? I never had this issue with my girls (although they were never big babies... They ate).. I've tried so many different foods, different bottles and nipple flow for formula and it doesn't make a difference. He is starting to outright refuse the bottle from my husband and I'm not sure why (and he has little patience if Nick won't take it immediately so that doesn't help). I left late for work last night because I finally got him to take it and didn't want to interrupt him. I guess I'm frustrated too because he really is a happy otherwise healthy baby so I wasn't really concerned before his pedi brought it up and now I feel like instead of being the laid back mom I usually am I'm stressed about stupid stuff like him eating food. He is pooping just fine. I just kind of figured he was a smaller baby but I'm anxious about what the doc will say on Wednesday. I'm hoping 1lb is enough because between today and Wednesday not much will change.
My LO had a period of only drinking 4oz or less, so I offered the bottle more often. It was still small bits, but together they were a wee bit more.
I also would offer pieces of food and let him 'play' with it. Who knows something might and up in his mouth.
I like the idea of @sandnstarsnj to have him sitting with you when you are eating. It has worked for my LO.
I had to have similar foods as her, cause she wanted the same. So I had kids friendly food for a week. Thick soups, yoghurt when she had fruitpuree, bread when she had bread etc. We shared one plate when eating bread. And I'd take bites of her food/spoon when feeding her. She got interested in foods and now 'steals' it from others.
**********************************************************************************************************************************
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019@m6agua He was 6 months and weighed 12lbs 5oz. He was 11lbs 8oz at his 4 month appt.. So he gained less than a pound in those 2 months. That was the first time his doc had then charted his weight. He didn't mention percentiles.. But I'm assuming He is low. He is proportionate and meeting his milestones so I don't know. It's just frustrating.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
you got this!
https://www.amazon.com/Helping-Child-Extreme-Picky-Eating/dp/162625110X
she also believes that her son`s non-eating is a sensory signal issue and she said this book helped them
https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Your-BABYs-Sensory-Signals/dp/1496152484/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1497973600&sr=1-1&keywords=understanding+your+child's+sensory+signals+baby
My LO is probably teething and I couldn't find her amber necklace. She's biting on everything!
Shes also in the middle of crawling, as she's on her knees and hands and rocking. She gets sooooo angry. On top of that she wants to sit, sit on her knees and stand. And preferably all done and learnt yesterday.
Its 86F here and we are not build for that.
So besides being frustrated it's too warm too nap.
My sister is not keeping her promise as to help out. She hasn't babysit once, yet has done this with another baby and I always say yes to her.
I moved bloody countries to be closer!
I wrote my first ever solicitation letter in my mother tongue which I haven't used often in the last 11 years and she didn't even bother to have a read through even though she's a teacher.
My maternity leave is soon over and I need a job and it frightens me, what if I don't find one? I left an amazing job and an amazing country to be closer to my family and been stupid to believe their promises of helping.
I only need 1 night of sleep, just 1 so I can function again.
**********************************************************************************************************************************
Theres really nothing I can say to help or make things seem a bit better and I imagine crazy positivity will just drive you more crazy.
Hopefully you manage a full night sleep soon. In the meantime, vent away and hugs sent your way.
Me. That someone is me.