@jsmai I agree with PPs. Since LO has already shown she's allergic to certain foods definitely continue to take your time introducing. My pedi suggested waiting 3 days to check for a reaction before moving on to the next. S has had quite a few reactions also so I'm careful. It won't hurt to offer both breasts. I have actually started doing that recently and S will stop when she's full.
Thanks, everyone! I was sending myself into a mental tail spin.
@kvruns If i offer a second side she'll typically pop on and off a million times in the first 2 minutes and then sit up. I figure it can't hurt to keep offering I guess.
If you are not worried and neither is the pedi keep doing what you are doing. If she was hungry more she would have demanded more. I got adviced quite the same as @ladybug2821 due to possible allergies.
ODD turns 3 Saturday and we've finally gotten our act together to have a party for the first time. But DH has become this psychotic control freak who has decided everything will be his way no matter the conversation from the night before, which is making this so not fun for two reasons - I had a vision and this isn't it, but also I'm getting aggravated at DH for trivial crap like the fact that he bought freaking pies. The pies shouldn't really bother me but this is a kid's birthday in June, not a friggin family winter holiday.
And dont get me started on how stupid emotional I get every time we get to her birthday. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'll ever forget where I was, what I was doing and every little thing in between that brought her into this world. Much like I don't think I will for DS either; I just haven't come to his birthday yet, obviously.
@SandNStarsNJ, I get it! I was all excited that LO's first birthday will be on a Saturday. I was so excited about a first birthday party on his actual birthday! But H wants to go to his uncle's land that he grew up hunting on that weekend. It's the time he has off from work, and his uncle is selling the land this year. He wants LO to go up to the land, even if he can't do anything yet. He wants the memory. I think it will take me a long time to get over it, which is admittedlt really really selfish. And I totally understand the emotions tied in with birthdays, I think I will be the same way!
So I'll start by saying my husband was in the hospital Wednesday into Thursday for a heart arrhythmia that he's never noticed before (He is fine.. although will tell anyone who listens he almost died... [cue ALL THE EYE ROLLS])
So anyway he got home today and all he has been doing all day is complaining about how tired he is. It was one night. Calm down. (I'm a nurse I can say this haha. I'm not a heartless jerk I promise.. But my husband is somewhat of a drama queen.) So tonight after all the kids were in bed I ran out to the store about 915 to grab a coke zero and as I pulled into my driveway one of my girlfriends called so I sat in the driveway talking to her. My phone started dying so I hung up with her around 11 and came inside to find my 6 year old sitting on the couch. She started telling me I had to get upstairs right away because Maxine "wouldn't stop screaming." And I could hear her. It sounded like someone had chopped her leg off. So I go running up the stairs and she is sitting in her bed, dry heaving, screaming, and I'm trying to figure out what's wrong and move her blanket and stuck on her hand are those plastic rings that clip/hook together. She had somehow gotten them stuck, pinching her hand. So I ripped it off.. to find there were giant welts and bruising on her hand.. I have no idea how long they has been there. I asked Natalie why she didn't go get daddy and she said she had been trying "forever" And he kept telling her to go back upstairs and leave him alone and that he wasn't going upstairs.. now. My husband was asleep on the couch in the basement playroom. Technically 2 floors down but pretty open so he would have been able to hear her. So I praised my daughter for trying to help. And went downstairs and was like GET THE FUCK UP WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!! And when I told him what happened and that it was unacceptable that he wouldn't listen to our daughter asking for help his response was basically "sorry but I'm tired and wanted to sleep." I'm sorry... WHAT???? No. You're the father of 4 children so if one of them says they need help you get your ass up. All I can think is what would have happened of I was working tonight? Or if any of the other kids needed him? I'm so mad. I know it's uncivilized but I'd love to kick him right in the balls right now.
Oh. Also. He skipped our daughters kindergarten graduation celebration today because he was tired.
@leighry Oh. My. God. That's a dead man walking right there. I can't imagine the absolute terror you probably felt in that situation and to find your husband just laying on the couch... There aren't words. What an ass.
Wtf! You totally deserve to rant, I would be mad AF! (And might even have kicked him in the balls) @leighry. Hope all kids had a good night sleep and that M's hand is ok today. Way to go on N for looking out for her sister. Such a great little girl.
@sandnjstars that is frustrating I bet it is hard with competing views and especially if your DH has a bee in his Bonnet about pies or other crap. It's ok if it feels petty you're allowed!
@leighry wtf ?!?! what if the house was on fire or something sheesh. Kick in the balls is acceptable for sure. Just once I'd love us to be able to play the I'm tired card and shirk all responsibility
@leighry I'm so sorry! I'd be so super pissed at my husband if he acted like that. No excuses for that kind of behavior. If your sick with the flu and have a broken foot you still go to help your kids when they are screaming. I have no words.
@SandNStarsNJ I get your frustration! I would be the same way. But I'm a bit psycho and I get mad when he takes over but I also get mad when he doesn't help enough.
@desoky01 I hear ya!!! I get wanting the memory but it's hard to accept things won't be like you imagined.
@leighry ohmygod. I would be SOO mad. That is not acceptable. I get being tired but it doesn't matter how tired you are when a child is screaming and another asking for help, you deal with it! At least go check on her then go back to ignoring them all... ugh. Does he feel a little bad at least???
@leighry I'm with everyone else on the wtf train. There's usually a difference in crying when something's actually wrong vs they're just fussing. And when your daughter asked for his help he should have gotten up. I'd be so mad too!
@SandNStarsNJ is he talking apple pie or like cherry or strawberry pie? The latter I associate with summer @leighry when your DH gets into bed tonight, feel free to subtly kick him in the shin. He deserves it.
Thanks Ladies! I just had a moment of what the actual fuck?! When he acted that way.
@kristah2 He apologized this morning but I'm still mad. I told him that I'll have to make sure Natalie can reach one of the house phones so she could call for help if she needed it and he rolled his eyes and told me to fuck off. Well.. then don't be a lazy dick. Sorry, not sorry. I know he wasn't feeling well but that doesn't mean you don't have to parent. I'm not his mom. If he wants someone to make him chicken noodle soup and rub his back, I'm not it. Is that me being a jerk? Ehhh.
@SandNStarsNJ is he talking apple pie or like cherry or strawberry pie? The latter I associate with summer
Pumpkin!
We have a pumpkin pie in our freezer since Thanksgiving. I don't eat it and I think H forgot it was there. We bought it because we were going to host Thanksgiving but seeing as I was in the hospital with a baby that didn't happen. Meant to have it when ILs visited right after LO was born but we never did.
@leighry you're not a jerk. I have the same logics with my H. I'm not allowed to turn off being a parent, he can't either. And if he's legit super sick fair game. I'll baby you. But most of the time you need to put on your big boy pants and be a functioning human. I HATE the pity parties. Plus he treats me the same. I've been throwing up with a stomach flu and him tell me "suck it up, we have things to do". And for 3 days when I was really sick and in so much pain he kept telling me to get over it and forcing me to go to Costco with him. He went to a bachelor party until 4 am. Told me I have no pain tolerance. The next day I was getting my appendix removed. He's lost all pity party rights.
@kristah2 exactly. I've had 4 of his children and each time I came home he is minimally involved in day routine and nonexistent at night. So if I don't warrant help, neither does he.
It's a little insane how much of the assumed caretaker role seems to be put upon most of us. DH is great; I mean he makes dinner most nights, but there is an ineptitude there with some things with the kids and if he's sick forget it. The world stops for sniffles.
This party is is becoming more stressful. We're still up cleaning and decorating. There will be no sleep tonight.
I'm going to make it brief.. ILs moved to South Carolina a few months ago and were up for ODD's birthday today. I watched a handful of my family/friends at one point get up and walk away from FIL. I later found out it's because he began a conversation on the Confederate flag. Really?! You're from Jersey. You're visiting in Jersey. Just no. And at a 3 year old's birthday?
@SandNStarsNJ wow, does he usually try to create controversy? And would your husband be willing to have a discussion about why it's inappropriate to hve those types of conversations at a children's birthday party?
My husband's family is from florida and they have a family friend whose teenage sons constantly posts about how the confederate flag is their history, not hate. Uh, both of your parents are from Westchester...
He doesn't realize it's controversial. That's part of the problem. He's not trying to offend; he just doesn't get why people are offended.
I think DH is afraid to talk to him because his parents believe he still shares their ideals and That disagreeing with them somehow shatters the glass wall they share. I have talked to FIL twice - once at my SIL requests because her son was repeating what he said in school and the other in the hospital right after LO was born and his constantly repeated "joke" was super racially charged. Both times he had this look like he just doesn't get it... we tried another time but he got yell-y and there was no back and forth in the conversation. He also kept trying to get DH to agree with him and I could tell DH was getting uncomfortable.
So my ILs "just popped over" to visit and do dinner at 5 this evening. Which is WTF enough, but no. So I had just coeerced DD to let me trim her fingernails (on going battle) and was moving on to feed DS afterwards when I hear voices and realize that my MIL, FIL, SIL and niece had just walked in. The abridged WTF moments: SIL proceeded to walk away with DS for the first half an hour every time I came near them after I told her he needed eat. She only gave him back when he started crying and throwing himself at me. My niece proceeded to fight with DD over everything, including that we had saved one piece of birthday cake from her party yesterday for her to enjoy today. My niece actually tried taunting her with her favorite stuffed animals, threatening to take them. FIL suddenly took DS into the house and came out with the car seat. He had decided he was going to put LO in it instead of passing him on to be held by someone else. When I told him we don't use the car seat like that he insisted he was using it to rock him at which point DS started crying because we also don't do that. I had to actually take the child and go put the car seat back.
@SandNStarsNJ your in laws sound like serious pieces of work. Do they have any boundaries?
our A/C has stopped working. It's 90 degrees tonight and our house is 80. A's room is 83 on the monitor. We brought up 2 fans and have them blowing directly on her. A guy is coming tomorrow afternoon to look st it. Pray that it's a quick and easy fix because I become wretched when hot.
@SandNStarsNJ I would have lost my mind. @RhodaMorgenstern FX for a quick fix. Though I just admit I'll trade. It's only 59 here (and not even consistently) and the wind is enough to freeze ya. I feel like I'm never going to be warm again.
Just went to helmet appointment and thought for sure it would be the last one. Measuring in the severe category still. I'm honestly devastated. She said to stay inside most of the day so he doesn't overheat. I totally thought we would be done with it.
@kristah2 I woke up in a pool of sweat and kept waking up all night to check that A wasn't overheating. Is it going to warm up where you are any time soon? @anne11716 I'm sorry, that sounds rough. Are they just planning on keeping the helmet on for longer? And I know you're devastated right now but remember that your LO rocks that helmet. He's adjusted to it and it will, someday, be over. Thinking about you.
Im so sorry to hear @anne11716, that must be such a disappointment. Did they say how much longer?
@sandnstarsnj, who are those people? #mustlearnbirthdayandvisitingetiquette
We had that heat a few weeks back @rhodamorgenstern, I felt sorry for my LO. She was soooo tired, but it was too warm to sleep. As it is unusual here we don't have airco. Hope yours is working again by now!
Re: June Venting/FFC/WTF
@kvruns If i offer a second side she'll typically pop on and off a million times in the first 2 minutes and then sit up. I figure it can't hurt to keep offering I guess.
If she was hungry more she would have demanded more.
I got adviced quite the same as @ladybug2821 due to possible allergies.
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And dont get me started on how stupid emotional I get every time we get to her birthday. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'll ever forget where I was, what I was doing and every little thing in between that brought her into this world. Much like I don't think I will for DS either; I just haven't come to his birthday yet, obviously.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
So I'll start by saying my husband was in the hospital Wednesday into Thursday for a heart arrhythmia that he's never noticed before (He is fine.. although will tell anyone who listens he almost died... [cue ALL THE EYE ROLLS])
So anyway he got home today and all he has been doing all day is complaining about how tired he is. It was one night. Calm down. (I'm a nurse I can say this haha. I'm not a heartless jerk I promise.. But my husband is somewhat of a drama queen.) So tonight after all the kids were in bed I ran out to the store about 915 to grab a coke zero and as I pulled into my driveway one of my girlfriends called so I sat in the driveway talking to her. My phone started dying so I hung up with her around 11 and came inside to find my 6 year old sitting on the couch. She started telling me I had to get upstairs right away because Maxine "wouldn't stop screaming." And I could hear her. It sounded like someone had chopped her leg off. So I go running up the stairs and she is sitting in her bed, dry heaving, screaming, and I'm trying to figure out what's wrong and move her blanket and stuck on her hand are those plastic rings that clip/hook together. She had somehow gotten them stuck, pinching her hand. So I ripped it off.. to find there were giant welts and bruising on her hand.. I have no idea how long they has been there. I asked Natalie why she didn't go get daddy and she said she had been trying "forever" And he kept telling her to go back upstairs and leave him alone and that he wasn't going upstairs.. now. My husband was asleep on the couch in the basement playroom. Technically 2 floors down but pretty open so he would have been able to hear her. So I praised my daughter for trying to help. And went downstairs and was like GET THE FUCK UP WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!! And when I told him what happened and that it was unacceptable that he wouldn't listen to our daughter asking for help his response was basically "sorry but I'm tired and wanted to sleep." I'm sorry... WHAT???? No. You're the father of 4 children so if one of them says they need help you get your ass up. All I can think is what would have happened of I was working tonight? Or if any of the other kids needed him? I'm so mad. I know it's uncivilized but I'd love to kick him right in the balls right now.
Oh. Also. He skipped our daughters kindergarten graduation celebration today because he was tired.
What. The. Hell.
Hope all kids had a good night sleep and that M's hand is ok today. Way to go on N for looking out for her sister. Such a great little girl.
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Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
@leighry wtf ?!?! what if the house was on fire or something sheesh. Kick in the balls is acceptable for sure. Just once I'd love us to be able to play the I'm tired card and shirk all responsibility
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019@desoky01 I hear ya!!! I get wanting the memory but it's hard to accept things won't be like you imagined.
@leighry ohmygod. I would be SOO mad. That is not acceptable. I get being tired but it doesn't matter how tired you are when a child is screaming and another asking for help, you deal with it! At least go check on her then go back to ignoring them all... ugh. Does he feel a little bad at least???
@leighry when your DH gets into bed tonight, feel free to subtly kick him in the shin. He deserves it.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
@kristah2 He apologized this morning but I'm still mad. I told him that I'll have to make sure Natalie can reach one of the house phones so she could call for help if she needed it and he rolled his eyes and told me to fuck off. Well.. then don't be a lazy dick. Sorry, not sorry. I know he wasn't feeling well but that doesn't mean you don't have to parent. I'm not his mom. If he wants someone to make him chicken noodle soup and rub his back, I'm not it. Is that me being a jerk? Ehhh.
Super strange for a summertime birthday though.
Plus he treats me the same. I've been throwing up with a stomach flu and him tell me "suck it up, we have things to do". And for 3 days when I was really sick and in so much pain he kept telling me to get over it and forcing me to go to Costco with him. He went to a bachelor party until 4 am. Told me I have no pain tolerance. The next day I was getting my appendix removed. He's lost all pity party rights.
This party is is becoming more stressful. We're still up cleaning and decorating. There will be no sleep tonight.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
My husband's family is from florida and they have a family friend whose teenage sons constantly posts about how the confederate flag is their history, not hate. Uh, both of your parents are from Westchester...
I think DH is afraid to talk to him because his parents believe he still shares their ideals and That disagreeing with them somehow shatters the glass wall they share. I have talked to FIL twice - once at my SIL requests because her son was repeating what he said in school and the other in the hospital right after LO was born and his constantly repeated "joke" was super racially charged. Both times he had this look like he just doesn't get it... we tried another time but he got yell-y and there was no back and forth in the conversation. He also kept trying to get DH to agree with him and I could tell DH was getting uncomfortable.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
SIL proceeded to walk away with DS for the first half an hour every time I came near them after I told her he needed eat. She only gave him back when he started crying and throwing himself at me.
My niece proceeded to fight with DD over everything, including that we had saved one piece of birthday cake from her party yesterday for her to enjoy today. My niece actually tried taunting her with her favorite stuffed animals, threatening to take them.
FIL suddenly took DS into the house and came out with the car seat. He had decided he was going to put LO in it instead of passing him on to be held by someone else. When I told him we don't use the car seat like that he insisted he was using it to rock him at which point DS started crying because we also don't do that. I had to actually take the child and go put the car seat back.
What's with these people?
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
our A/C has stopped working. It's 90 degrees tonight and our house is 80. A's room is 83 on the monitor. We brought up 2 fans and have them blowing directly on her. A guy is coming tomorrow afternoon to look st it. Pray that it's a quick and easy fix because I become wretched when hot.
@RhodaMorgenstern Omg I would die!!! You poor thing! Prayers that it gets fixed quickly; sounds miserable
fingers crossed for an easy fix. I'd be miserable @RhodaMorgenstern
@RhodaMorgenstern FX for a quick fix. Though I just admit I'll trade. It's only 59 here (and not even consistently) and the wind is enough to freeze ya. I feel like I'm never going to be warm again.
@anne11716 I'm sorry, that sounds rough. Are they just planning on keeping the helmet on for longer? And I know you're devastated right now but remember that your LO rocks that helmet. He's adjusted to it and it will, someday, be over. Thinking about you.
Did they say how much longer?
@sandnstarsnj, who are those people? #mustlearnbirthdayandvisitingetiquette
We had that heat a few weeks back @rhodamorgenstern, I felt sorry for my LO. She was soooo tired, but it was too warm to sleep. As it is unusual here we don't have airco.
Hope yours is working again by now!
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- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019