@kvruns and @RhodaMorgenstern I live right by the ocean so although it'll go up to about 75-80 during July and August the wind is really chilly so you basically always have to have a sweater handy. We dress in layers around here. I really miss living more central when we actually had a summer.
@anne11716 I'm sorry to hear that. Luckily LO has gotten used to wearing it. It'll be off before you know it. @SandNStarsNJ I would've went off. No one comes to my house unannounced because they know I will not let them in. @RhodaMorgenstern I hope your AC gets fixed asap.
Thanks ladies! We go to Children's hospital on Thursday to see the specialist so we will go from there. She said several more weeks even though last time said 2-4 so who knows. I know I'm lucky he's happy and healthy but darn!!
I feel like i'm occupying this thread a bit much but I really need to (selfishly) vent... my BFF is pissed at me (clearly, getting the one word answer/silent treatment) because it took me a week to get back to her on a text about her birthday. By the time I coordinated schedules with DH, the kids' schedules and remembered to reply, yes, it had been a week, which wasn't fast enough for something happening in July. And that's the straw breaking the proverbial camel's back because when the hell do I get to just do me or catch a break? Between work, the kids and everything else under the sun that needs to get done "right now" I don't do anything for myself aside from take a shower when I wake up. I'm never alone (unless I'm pumping at work) and no one every asks what I actually want to do. I catch flack from at least one person a day and I'm trying to be this insanely put together woman, who doesn't actually have anything together.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but between making sure everyone has something to eat, is on their sleep schedule, gets read to, stimulated/played with, etc... I just don't have it in me for anything else and my brain just isn't "all in" for anything, let alone a friggin text.
And when today, after taking off to take ODD to the doctor for her wellness visit, I find out that DH took off to just relax after asking me to be the one to skip out on work for the dr (TWO days before final exams) and then asks if I'll just drop the kids off at daycare anyway so we can "get out of the house," I just want to scream. Today was supposed to be a special mom and DD day for her birthday after going to the dr because daycare won't let her go in that late, but instead it was driving around in 90 degree heat to do things DH wanted with a 3 year old in tow and here I am the second to last night before final exams, no more relaxed and no more together than I was before the weekend began. And now my BFF is cold-shouldering me.
And holy hell the damn ILs just keep going, but I'll spare the thread more from them. I'd write a book, but they'd probably stop talking to me. Though would that really be that bad?
@sandnstarsnj I'm so sorry. I can't be friends with people who expect me to respond quickly to a text, it just ain't happening. I feel like my mom friends get that but my non-mom friends don't. Sorry your husband wasn't being very cool either hugs!
@SandNStarsNJ Vent away! And I agree with what @rspalding001 said, I can't have people in my life who expect me to jump through hoops or respond quickly to non-emergencies. And yeah, people who don't have kids don't seem to get that, but oh well. That's just the reality of how it is to be a mom and you need people in your corner who understand that and aren't trying to pile more stress onto your plate. *hugs*
Dont apologise for venting or occupying this thread @sandnstarsnj. That's why this thread is here, I'm just sorry to read you and @rhodamorgenstern need it so much.
Loving your family and needing me time are two completely different things. No one can keep going without time for oneself! I already feel like rubbish when my LO doesn't go to bed by 8 and it's closer to 9 or 10 for whatever reason. Those 2 hours in the evening are for just me to recharge. You too need that. As for your bff, if she's a bff she'd understand. My bff did this oh so often to me, but if it was an emergency she'd be there in a heartbeat. Texting back later than planned comes with motherhood. She must understand that.
Are you kidding me @rhodamorgenstern?!? Hope your ac is working by now. Get better soon!
Thanks ladies. The problem is that she doesn't have kids and as the older mine get the further apart our lives are become as she is living the life a single lady.
Feel better @rhodamorgenstern. I hope it passes quickly and that you're able to cool off!
vent away @SandNStarsNJ it is so tough just trying to do the best we can with kids, let alone work, extra kids, husbands and BFFs throwing it all off. Not to mention days off are a precious commodity so it sucks when it gets messed up like that.
Your situation makes me reflect back on my BFF, who has been a single mom from the beginning. She's always been flighty and I remember getting annoyed that she wouldn't get back for a long time - this was before the days of the prevalence of texting, so it was more phone calls and emails back then. While I do think her being MIA was because she is flighty, now that I am in the throes of it all I do see how time completely gets away, especially if you couldn't just look down at your smart phone in your hand.
@RhodaMorgenstern Ughh, I hope you feel better soon. @SandNStarsNJ Your BFF definitely needs to be more understanding. Even if you didn't have children, we all have our own lives and sometimes can lose track of things that aren't super important. She's the person you should be able to vent to when H is pissing you off or the kids are driving you crazy. I also think if you can swing getting out for her bday, definitely do it so you can have a fun time.
@SandNStarsNJ agreeing with PP's, vent away! Youre a trooper. Nothing worst the BFF cold shoulder for a silly reason. mine sucks these days and I don't get invited to things and when I do it's for "let's have a lunch potluck so it's kid friendly". Well then. Not that I'd go all the time but an invite to something in the evening would be nice. I give up. M is my BFF now.
Can I say F this job today?? If I could walk out, I would. I hate how Mgmt always gives the fastest worker the most because they can get it done. Yes I can get it done but that's not fair to me. Let alone I have 1.5-2 hrs less in my day than everyone else because of pumping. Might I add that feeling like I have too much to do is affecting my pumping. And yes, I will still be taking my hour lunch so everyone can F off .
Oh yeah and I meant to vent this earlier but I've been so busy I couldn't bump. I was so happy I was able to pump enough while at work yesterday that I left my pump here. But I had a hair appt that I went straight to after work not realizing I wouldn't be feeding S before bedtime. Of course girl didn't wake up until 5:30 am (not complaining because this is awesome) so my boobs were hurting! I've already pumped once but the pump isn't pulling enough so my left boob still feels like it's going to explode. I hope this second pump helps more. I am happy I had a hair appt though. I hadn't gotten my hair done in 8 months and this was my first time without S for an extended period of time not Including work. It was nice to have some me time.
Thanks everyone, I'm feeling better but not quite 100%. I really have so much respect for you STAHMs. When A woke up this morning and I felt awful, I was counting down until my husband took her to daycare. I've spent all day alternating between gingerly eating saltines and ice pops and running to the bathroom. Having A here would be 1000 times harder.
@RhodaMorgenstern It sucks so bad being sick with a baby. I caught The flu when S was two months old while on mat leave. MIL didn't think to mention she was sick when she came to visit us. Thankfully S didn't catch it but it was so hard taking care of her.
I guess I'm lucky that when I've been ill my LO has been ill too and she's a sleeper when being ill. So we camped in the living room, sleeping, eating and me watching some telly. Can't imagine being ill and her being her active self!
I'll be honest, the venting from others is nice to read because then I don't feel as crazy when my family drives me crazy. I wanted to write my vent yesterday but DH was around and I didn't want him to read how I was complaining about his parents again. His mom wrote an email yesterday telling us how FIL misses our oldest (the first grandchild out of 3) and how she just lights him up when he sees her. Then she says "having M just showed us what being grandparents can be like" direct quote. Yes, we lived down the street for the first 2 years of her life and then moved states. So she really packed on the guilt trip. Tosses in a comment about grandchild number 3, because MIL realizes how she neglects number 3. Number 2 lives in another state on the other side of the country. So it is sad they don't have any grandchildren near them, but come on. I know we are the only ones getting the guilt trip. Then she concludes with "can we FaceTime" and we tried but they didn't pick up. So over them. The email just really pissed me off. My parents are also in the same state as ILs, but they don't guilt trip is. Ever!
I have been in a horrible mood today. Like the kind of horrible where you're mad at everyone and everything. The kind of horrible mood where you don't even want to talk to anyone because you don't want to hear solutions, you don't want anyone to make it better because it's just not going to get better tonight. Ugh, it's seriously been a horrible night. Thankfully I think it's moving back towards better.
Even after pumping 3 times and nursing 3 times, my boobs still hurt from missing that bedtime feeding the other day. And...school is out but traffic is worse?? I also hate people that take a short cut, but drive super slow. The whole point is to get to your destination faster.
I had the commute from hell this morning. And I realized that I won't be able to pump this afternoon because I have to travel to a client meeting and there is no time to do it. Going to move my morning one back from 9 to 1030 in hopes of making it more bearable.
and whine whine whine, the other new mom is back from maternity leave now and she is scheduled to pump either right before or right after me both times (plus she's doing one around lunch time). I like being able to go in a few min early or run long if I need to and now I can't do that. Booooo
Edit: good thing I moved my pumping time back because someone double booked my room (ie I was on the schedule but they put themselves on it anyway) and are having a conference call in there now so I would have been screwed anyway
I had the commute from hell this morning. And I realized that I won't be able to pump this afternoon because I have to travel to a client meeting and there is no time to do it. Going to move my morning one back from 9 to 1030 in hopes of making it more bearable.
and whine whine whine, the other new mom is back from maternity leave now and she is scheduled to pump either right before or right after me both times (plus she's doing one around lunch time). I like being able to go in a few min early or run long if I need to and now I can't do that. Booooo
Edit: good thing I moved my pumping time back because someone double booked my room (ie I was on the schedule but they put themselves on it anyway) and are having a conference call in there now so I would have been screwed anyway
I pump while driving - two birds with one stone!
Hope they don't mind your pumping; teach 'em a lesson!
@desoky01 we all have days like that. Do what you need to do to make your day a little better (even if that means ducking out of work early and getting a glass of wine). @kvruns people who double book are the worst. It's there! Learn to read before you schedule!
@mrsmaryk2016 I highly recommend pulling up some Baby Einstein on YouTube and taking a 20 minute breather. Flame away...
I'm having one of those: Is is me or them days and it is KILLING me. My fuse is CRAZY short right now and I just want to scream. I desperately need to start working out again to lessen the intensity of my fuse, but this whole working from 7-3 and getting home with the kids at 4:30 and them not being down until 8pm is making that impossible. Once they're down I have to clean all the pump/bottles and the lunch and dinner leftover dishes and then re-pack all those same things for tomorrow. It's 9:30 by the time I sit down for the first time and I'm up again for the day at 5:30 with MOTN wakes... perhaps a 3am feed and walk outside? That wouldn't be disconcerting to the neighborhood at all...
Re: June Venting/FFC/WTF
@anne11716 so sorry to hear.
@SandNStarsNJ I would've went off. No one comes to my house unannounced because they know I will not let them in.
@RhodaMorgenstern I hope your AC gets fixed asap.
@RhodaMorgenstern I hope it's fixed ASAP!
@anne11716 On the positive side, he'll be before he can remember it and be all better. I know it stinks, but he's still absolutely adorable!
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but between making sure everyone has something to eat, is on their sleep schedule, gets read to, stimulated/played with, etc... I just don't have it in me for anything else and my brain just isn't "all in" for anything, let alone a friggin text.
And when today, after taking off to take ODD to the doctor for her wellness visit, I find out that DH took off to just relax after asking me to be the one to skip out on work for the dr (TWO days before final exams) and then asks if I'll just drop the kids off at daycare anyway so we can "get out of the house," I just want to scream. Today was supposed to be a special mom and DD day for her birthday after going to the dr because daycare won't let her go in that late, but instead it was driving around in 90 degree heat to do things DH wanted with a 3 year old in tow and here I am the second to last night before final exams, no more relaxed and no more together than I was before the weekend began. And now my BFF is cold-shouldering me.
And holy hell the damn ILs just keep going, but I'll spare the thread more from them. I'd write a book, but they'd probably stop talking to me. Though would that really be that bad?
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
Loving your family and needing me time are two completely different things. No one can keep going without time for oneself! I already feel like rubbish when my LO doesn't go to bed by 8 and it's closer to 9 or 10 for whatever reason.
Those 2 hours in the evening are for just me to recharge.
You too need that.
As for your bff, if she's a bff she'd understand. My bff did this oh so often to me, but if it was an emergency she'd be there in a heartbeat. Texting back later than planned comes with motherhood. She must understand that.
Are you kidding me @rhodamorgenstern?!?
Hope your ac is working by now.
Get better soon!
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Feel better @rhodamorgenstern. I hope it passes quickly and that you're able to cool off!
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
Your situation makes me reflect back on my BFF, who has been a single mom from the beginning. She's always been flighty and I remember getting annoyed that she wouldn't get back for a long time - this was before the days of the prevalence of texting, so it was more phone calls and emails back then. While I do think her being MIA was because she is flighty, now that I am in the throes of it all I do see how time completely gets away, especially if you couldn't just look down at your smart phone in your hand.
Feel better @RhodaMorgenstern
@SandNStarsNJ Your BFF definitely needs to be more understanding. Even if you didn't have children, we all have our own lives and sometimes can lose track of things that aren't super important. She's the person you should be able to vent to when H is pissing you off or the kids are driving you crazy. I also think if you can swing getting out for her bday, definitely do it so you can have a fun time.
Youre a trooper. Nothing worst the BFF cold shoulder for a silly reason.
mine sucks these days and I don't get invited to things and when I do it's for "let's have a lunch potluck so it's kid friendly". Well then. Not that I'd go all the time but an invite to something in the evening would be nice. I give up. M is my BFF now.
Its funny you said that @kristah2, I thought the same last night.
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Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
**********************************************************************************************************************************
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
and whine whine whine, the other new mom is back from maternity leave now and she is scheduled to pump either right before or right after me both times (plus she's doing one around lunch time). I like being able to go in a few min early or run long if I need to and now I can't do that. Booooo
Edit: good thing I moved my pumping time back because someone double booked my room (ie I was on the schedule but they put themselves on it anyway) and are having a conference call in there now so I would have been screwed anyway
Hope they don't mind your pumping; teach 'em a lesson!
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
@kvruns people who double book are the worst. It's there! Learn to read before you schedule!
I'm having one of those: Is is me or them days and it is KILLING me. My fuse is CRAZY short right now and I just want to scream. I desperately need to start working out again to lessen the intensity of my fuse, but this whole working from 7-3 and getting home with the kids at 4:30 and them not being down until 8pm is making that impossible. Once they're down I have to clean all the pump/bottles and the lunch and dinner leftover dishes and then re-pack all those same things for tomorrow. It's 9:30 by the time I sit down for the first time and I'm up again for the day at 5:30 with MOTN wakes... perhaps a 3am feed and walk outside? That wouldn't be disconcerting to the neighborhood at all...
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16