@nda_roxybabe , no harm in at least starting a list of what you want in your bag!! I was admitted for an induction at 37 weeks with 1 day notice and had not packed my bag...I was so flustered by the induction that I did NOT do a good job packing my bag and was missing things that I definitely needed.
Have your hospital bags ready ladies. I had my boys at 30 weeks and 36 weeks, both times I was told to have a bag ready, but me being stubborn, thinking I still had time, I was not prepared.
My plan is to have it ready at 32 weeks this time.
Have your hospital bags ready ladies. I had my boys at 30 weeks and 36 weeks, both times I was told to have a bag ready, but me being stubborn, thinking I still had time, I was not prepared.
My plan is to have it ready at 32 weeks this time.
I love validation for early planning, thank you! Also, 30 weeks?! Ahh. It just dawned on me that a lot of us are at that early baby stage...eek. Stay put babies!
@RainyDays86 I don't think my showers are typical timing but between hosts schedules and mine I am hoping they will work out well. My first will be 2/25. I'll only be almost 28weeks but my BFF that is hosting will be 37 weeks so we could t get it any later. Invites went out first or second week of Jan. We picked the date the week before Christmas and I did tell some of our out of town guests the date before invites went out in case they wanted to make travel plans. She has asked if I have input and I truly do not. There is some concern for me that she will deliver prior to the shower, but she's hosting at my moms house in case that happens and I know everything will work out just fine.
My second shower will be May 6th, and I'll be 36 weeks! So basically the other extreme. Between my school schedule and one out of town friend who I really wanted to make it, that's just the date that worked out. It's before my graduation so I'm refusing to accept that I will deliver before that (no need to remind me that I'm crazy!).
I know my work girls want to throw a shower but I haven't really discussed a date with anyone. Ideally we'd be looking at late March/early April but again I'm flexible.
I guess the moral of my story is you can pretty much have a shower anytime you please! And get the date set as early or late but I do think invites should go out around 6 weeks in advance. Have fun - I love throwing showers!!
@nda_roxybabe finding solid adult friends is hard. Most of my girlfriends are the wives/gfs of MH's friends. My high school friends, which turned into college friends, and I drifted since I ended up graduating before them. I also live in an area where a lot of moms SAH and they kind of turn their noses up at me when I show up to play groups because I am a working mom.
@RainyDays86 with my first, my showers were 2/14 and 2/15 and I was due 3/24. It was plenty of time for me to get things set up and return anything that needed returning. I picked the theme and gave my sister input when she asked. This time, I think my SIL is looking at 5/6 for my shower and I'm due 5/24.
RainyDays86, my shower is April 22nd and I'm due May 29th, so I'll be almost 35 weeks. I told them a few dates that would work and the people I wanted to invite, but that's it. My sister knows me pretty well, though, because she scheduled it at a historic inn/tearoom. She also knows that I don't like certain games (i.e. anything involving baby food), but I know she wouldn't do that.
I think 3 months out is a good time to informally tell people to block the date, but I'd wait til 6 weeks out to send invites.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Update: Our housing situation fell through after the death of my husband's co-director. I'm a little down about it because my house is full of boxes and we think we still want to move to be closer to his job, but that means finding a new place to rent or buying a house. Being in limbo kind of sucks, but his employer is being really great about it. DH will be getting a raise to compensate for the loss of the house and the extra work that he'll be taking on. My landlord is also being awesome, and we can stay in the current place as long as we want on a month to month lease.
To people who own houses, are you happy being a homeowner? We have a 20% down payment saved, but the thought of buying a house really scares me. I'm so tired of renting and moving, though.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
We've owned for 2 years now and LOVE it! It's so nice the make the place our own. H was able to mount our TVs and create new outlets to hide all the cords. We painted (I know you could in an apartment), made bathroom modifications, you get the idea... Anyways, we love it and haven't had any scary moments, even with an AC unit suddenly stopping during a Phoenix summer (it was a simple, cheap fix).
@nda_roxybabe I'm intimidated too but I think I'm gonna go! It'll be good to have real life mama support. At least for me, I'm the first to have a baby in my group (I'm 26), so I'm nervous about feeling a bit alienated once the baby is here. My friends are lovely but I'll probably wanna talk a lot of baby stuff. My shower is also March 4th!
@RainyDays86 1. Shower is March 4th and my mom sent out invitations today. Her instinct was to wait a week but I think guests would appreciate a better heads up. SO's mum and sister are throwing another one sometime in April but I just found out today and no date has been set. 2. For shower number 1, I've decided to tackle all the sweet treats and my mom will handle savoury snacks. For shower number 2 I will not be involved in the planning at all and it'll likely be way frilly-er and pink than I'd like.
@kns1988 Oh no, housing situations can be so exhausting and overwhelming! We were homeowners when my husband was going to school back home. I WISH we could be homeowners again, but moving every two years doesn't make sense to buy right now. There are so many benefits to owning a home over renting. Lower mortgage payments than rent, tax breaks on your mortgage payments, and the feeling of having YOUR OWN PLACE!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I just ordered grocery delivery from Safeway. I did all my grocery shopping while sitting on my couch during DD2s nap time and it will be delivered to my door tomorrow morning. If it ends up being as amazing as it sounds I'm so excited! No grocery shopping with a newborn, toddler, and preschooler?! SCORE.
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I struggle to make new friends. I have 2 really good mom friends and a few non-mom friends that live in the same town as me and I see them frequently. I have a lot of friends from HS, college, and law school, but they live across the country. I'm still very close with several and we have regular phone dates. One of the hardest things I find is that I can't as easily transition work friends to life friends. I feel like like work is the easiest place to meet people, but, due to my position, it's not so easy as I need to maintain a professional relationship with the people I work with.
@kns1988 ah I'm sorry about the house. Glad your H's employer and your landlord are being great support though. Still just renting here so I have no advice
This is possibly TMI for some but I'm really excited. I noticed a couple tiny drops of clear watery colostrum and it's just one more thing to be in awe of. It's not enough to even show up on a t-shirt if I'm braless so I'm hoping it doesn't get crazy but I'm very proud of my breasts right now
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot I can relate to the work thing. When I started my old job I was front office and made friends with other front office girls and other employees. Well, then I got promoted to Director of Operations and was suddenly everyone's boss. Some did not take that well and keeping the separation is really hard. Now I have a new job and I really enjoy a lot of the people I work with, but I've never hung out with any of them.
@laurapalmier I think I may just do it too, we can be brave! haha My BFF is awesome, but not super into babies (she wants to have some, had a *TW* loss last year, but isn't baby crazy like I am). I've tried to keep my pregnancy/ baby talk with her to an acceptable level, but I'd love to just go on and on with someone. Plus, she doesn't live here.
Sorry about the housing situation @kns1988! I absolutely love being a homeowner for all of the reasons people have mentioned. We have done a ton of work to both the houses we owned (we bought them knowing they needed updates) so I may be biased but I absolutely love making the place I live my own. That being said, it is certainly expensive. We haven't had any major issues in this house, but you have to deal with everything on your own which is a pain. However, the benefit in my mind absolutely outweighs the cost.
Thanks everyone for your input! I texted my cousin to get her input and I think we'll be doing the shower a bit on the early side because I totally forgot her SIL is having a baby in early May across the country, so I'm glad I asked!
@RainyDays86 my friends are planning it for me for end of Mar - beginning of Apr, i'm zero involved except for getting them in touch and telling them my availability and giving them a general guideline on what i like (mainly with Etsy links )
@kns1988 sorry to hear about your house! We're buying pretty much right now too, hoping to close in early March. We've also saved a significant downpayment. I'm super excited to have it even though it's a looming mortgage cloud after it. Hoping to pay it off early, naturally. I think it'll be awesome. We owned our condo before that, it was okay but we hated our HOA lol. Looking forward to not having one.
@nda_roxybabe I have a really hard time making new friends, too. My good friends from high school and college have moved away. I have one close-ish friend in town now that I get together with occasionally, and I met her through work. Most of the time, I like just being a homebody with my husband. But I know I'm going to want at least a few other moms to get together with. It's going to be hard for me to make the effort to go to some meet-ups and find people. It's like dating again. I'm honestly nervous about it.
@RainyDays86 My aunts are hosting a shower for me. They suggested March or April, so I checked with my out of town friends to figure out what weekend would work, and my aunts were OK with that weekend. I'm due May 25 and my shower will be April 1. My aunts asked for a guest list, so I gave that to them with addresses, but they're taking care of everything else, and that's fine with me. Less to worry about. All I've heard is that they'll send out invites a month in advance and we're doing a casual dessert buffet (odd choice, but whatever!).
Ladies, I got my first prenatal massage today and it was sooooo nice. I wish it could have been twice as long. Since I'm loaded with gift cards, I scheduled my next one for 3 weeks from now and will probably keep up with that until I'm due. I also scheduled myself a pedicure for Valentine's.
@nda_roxybabe making real friends as an adult is so hard! I'm a member of a local non-profit voluenteer organization of about 130 women, you would think it would be easy... nope! Lol my friends are mostly finances friends wives/gfs. I keep making friends and then I get pregnant and they all disappear:(
@kns1988 the only thing I say to make sure you look into all the things you'll be paying that you don't pay as a renter. For example our property taxes are through the roof... so we were not able to buy for less then we were renting. also we have not 1 but 2 HOAs we have to pay. We also are in a golf community so keeping up with lawn care and landscaping during the summer is almost impossible on our own so we now pay for that. Just giving another perspective that we weren't considering when we decided to buy.
@hp_momma oh hell yes to grocery pickup! Husband started it about two weeks ago and while it seems silly now but I know with 2 it's going to be a godsend.
I'm on mobile, so I should have written down who I'm responding to... But now I'm too lazy to go back through to tag.
Baby shower earlier is better than later- mine ended up being exactly a week before daughter came! Husband's work had one planned that we actually ended up bringing daughter to! I would check with her to see if there's anything specific she would like you to avoid. I know I hate those games where people have to guess how big you are. Yuck.
I never had a hospital bag packed for either daughter, as both were early, and it didn't end up being a big deal. I was able to send husband home to grab things when he went home for a shower. I will try to have one this time, but I'm not stressing about it.
Making new friends is so hard! I've got a couple of close friends out of town, and a couple in town. I always feel awkward at groups for my kids. Like, at the library there are a few moms that I always talk to, but they've got enough friends to hang out with outside of mom groups. One mom acted really excited to hang out (we've got a children's museum pass and can get a guest in free) but then when I texted her to meet up, was not into it at all. And then never came back to the library. It makes me feel like an insecure middle schooler!
Grocery pickup is life changing. We only do pickup now using both Walmart and Frys. You just pull up into a spot, they load your car, and you leave. So awesome.
I have gone beyond the grocery pick up to the extremely lazyness of having it full on delivered to our house! We use SHIPT and it's amazing! I haven't been to a grocery store (other than target) since before thanksgiving!
This may be more of a FFFC, but I actually like going to the grocery store with my girls! We go to Aldi, so there are two seats in the cart, and older daughter likes to help me remember what's on our list. (I always pretend to forget to buy her milk. We think it's hilarious. Maybe I do need to get out more.....)
BeachMommy2B, yikes, that's a lot of extra expenses! If we buy, our worries are more like "is this cesspool or septic sewage" because we'll be in the middle of nowhere country. Still important to think about the extra expenses, though.
@Squirtgun, I love Aldi! It cut our grocery bill in half.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@kns1988 we've owned our house three years this September and it was the best choice we could have made. We bought an older house knowing we'd have to do a lot of work, my husband is a jack of all trades (and a master of none lol) so we did a lot of the work, my FIl is an electrician so he helped there, and my husbands BIL does construction as his job so we had a lot of supports in that area. I must say that there are a lot of costs I didn't realize/plan for. Since our house is old (built in 1931) the insulation and windows are not good so our fuel costs are high for the winter, we have property and school taxes I often forget about, and then if anything goes wrong we obviously have to pay for that. We really planned poorly because this house "fell in our lap", we closed in September and got married in May, and we were BROKE as hell. But if you have a nest egg to fall back on that will help. I didn't realize how much closing costs would be plus all the work we had to do on the house. But all in all, I'm so happy we bought this house.
I dont have many friends. I vacation with my SIL and see them often. I have four friends total outside of them (two live out of state) so there isn't much interaction in person.
I keep hearing all of my friends back home talk about grocery pick-up but none of the stores here even offer it! Not even Walmart. But Safeway offers delivery so I figured I'd try it!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I'm playing catch up on this thread on mobile, but the comments about keeping up friendships really hit close to home. We live in suburbia and since I work in the area I rarely leave. Since DS has come along (he's 18 months) I feel like even more relationships have suffered because I have turned into Uber homebody. Those of you with older kids - is this a phase? Obviously I'm starting it all over, but I'm mostly just curious if it gets easier as your kids get older?
Wow! It's been a busy afternoon! I, too, feel like it's a struggle making friends as an adult especially if you've moved out of state, or continue to move. We've ran into that moving to Florida, and I did when I moved to Cali from Ohio.
As as for buying a house, we're currently in the process and should hopefully close end of February. We did the FHA loan and so far has been okay, but I'm still waiting for something to happen. We're tired of renting too!
Question and totally random from the discussions going on...we are planning on cloth diapering and I think I've got that down, but we will also be utilizing daycare once I go back to work and they don't accept them (boo). So, I have no idea what size diapers to get, if we should try to stock up now, how many do you send with them to daycare...???? So many questions! And here I thought we would save some money! Will it cost the same as if we were using them at home or no because we won't use them at night?
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
It's a sad day for me. Will read everyone's post when I have a little downtime but wanted to put this out there as I've been MIA for a few days. MH found one of our girls (dog) dead yesterday while I was at work. VERY unexpected. We've been beside ourselves to say the least... positive vibes much appreciated from all the animal lovers out there!
@BabyMC517 we didn't cloth diaper, but DD did go to daycare at 3 1/2 months. By that time, you should have a good idea as to how many diaper changes a day you do with your kiddo. I usually sent enough for her typical diaper changes and then a few extra. They will let you know if they are running low on supplies for your babe.
Re: Randoms and Questions 1.30 - 2.5
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
My plan is to have it ready at 32 weeks this time.
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
My first will be 2/25. I'll only be almost 28weeks but my BFF that is hosting will be 37 weeks so we could t get it any later. Invites went out first or second week of Jan. We picked the date the week before Christmas and I did tell some of our out of town guests the date before invites went out in case they wanted to make travel plans. She has asked if I have input and I truly do not. There is some concern for me that she will deliver prior to the shower, but she's hosting at my moms house in case that happens and I know everything will work out just fine.
My second shower will be May 6th, and I'll be 36 weeks! So basically the other extreme. Between my school schedule and one out of town friend who I really wanted to make it, that's just the date that worked out. It's before my graduation so I'm refusing to accept that I will deliver before that (no need to remind me that I'm crazy!).
I know my work girls want to throw a shower but I haven't really discussed a date with anyone. Ideally we'd be looking at late March/early April but again I'm flexible.
I guess the moral of my story is you can pretty much have a shower anytime you please! And get the date set as early or late but I do think invites should go out around 6 weeks in advance. Have fun - I love throwing showers!!
@RainyDays86 with my first, my showers were 2/14 and 2/15 and I was due 3/24. It was plenty of time for me to get things set up and return anything that needed returning. I picked the theme and gave my sister input when she asked. This time, I think my SIL is looking at 5/6 for my shower and I'm due 5/24.
I think 3 months out is a good time to informally tell people to block the date, but I'd wait til 6 weeks out to send invites.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
To people who own houses, are you happy being a homeowner? We have a 20% down payment saved, but the thought of buying a house really scares me. I'm so tired of renting and moving, though.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
We've owned for 2 years now and LOVE it! It's so nice the make the place our own. H was able to mount our TVs and create new outlets to hide all the cords. We painted (I know you could in an apartment), made bathroom modifications, you get the idea... Anyways, we love it and haven't had any scary moments, even with an AC unit suddenly stopping during a Phoenix summer (it was a simple, cheap fix).
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
My shower is also March 4th!
@RainyDays86
1. Shower is March 4th and my mom sent out invitations today. Her instinct was to wait a week but I think guests would appreciate a better heads up.
SO's mum and sister are throwing another one sometime in April but I just found out today and no date has been set.
2. For shower number 1, I've decided to tackle all the sweet treats and my mom will handle savoury snacks.
For shower number 2 I will not be involved in the planning at all and it'll likely be way frilly-er and pink than I'd like.
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Thanks everyone for your input! I texted my cousin to get her input and I think we'll be doing the shower a bit on the early side because I totally forgot her SIL is having a baby in early May across the country, so I'm glad I asked!
@RainyDays86 My aunts are hosting a shower for me. They suggested March or April, so I checked with my out of town friends to figure out what weekend would work, and my aunts were OK with that weekend. I'm due May 25 and my shower will be April 1. My aunts asked for a guest list, so I gave that to them with addresses, but they're taking care of everything else, and that's fine with me. Less to worry about. All I've heard is that they'll send out invites a month in advance and we're doing a casual dessert buffet (odd choice, but whatever!).
@kns1988 the only thing I say to make sure you look into all the things you'll be paying that you don't pay as a renter. For example our property taxes are through the roof... so we were not able to buy for less then we were renting. also we have not 1 but 2 HOAs we have to pay. We also are in a golf community so keeping up with lawn care and landscaping during the summer is almost impossible on our own so we now pay for that. Just giving another perspective that we weren't considering when we decided to buy.
May '17 labor memes
I am glad (?) that I am not alone in this, sounds like it's pretty common. Boo adults! I want the HS ease of making friends back.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Baby shower earlier is better than later- mine ended up being exactly a week before daughter came! Husband's work had one planned that we actually ended up bringing daughter to!
I would check with her to see if there's anything specific she would like you to avoid. I know I hate those games where people have to guess how big you are. Yuck.
I never had a hospital bag packed for either daughter, as both were early, and it didn't end up being a big deal. I was able to send husband home to grab things when he went home for a shower. I will try to have one this time, but I'm not stressing about it.
Making new friends is so hard! I've got a couple of close friends out of town, and a couple in town. I always feel awkward at groups for my kids. Like, at the library there are a few moms that I always talk to, but they've got enough friends to hang out with outside of mom groups. One mom acted really excited to hang out (we've got a children's museum pass and can get a guest in free) but then when I texted her to meet up, was not into it at all. And then never came back to the library. It makes me feel like an insecure middle schooler!
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
@Squirtgun, I love Aldi! It cut our grocery bill in half.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I must say that there are a lot of costs I didn't realize/plan for. Since our house is old (built in 1931) the insulation and windows are not good so our fuel costs are high for the winter, we have property and school taxes I often forget about, and then if anything goes wrong we obviously have to pay for that.
We really planned poorly because this house "fell in our lap", we closed in September and got married in May, and we were BROKE as hell. But if you have a nest egg to fall back on that will help. I didn't realize how much closing costs would be plus all the work we had to do on the house.
But all in all, I'm so happy we bought this house.
I dont have many friends. I vacation with my SIL and see them often. I have four friends total outside of them (two live out of state) so there isn't much interaction in person.
Sorry for the essay!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
along (he's 18 months) I feel like even more relationships have suffered because I have turned into Uber homebody. Those of you with older kids - is this a phase? Obviously I'm starting it all over, but I'm mostly just curious if it gets easier as your kids get older?
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
As as for buying a house, we're currently in the process and should hopefully close end of February. We did the FHA loan and so far has been okay, but I'm still waiting for something to happen. We're tired of renting too!
Question and totally random from the discussions going on...we are planning on cloth diapering and I think I've got that down, but we will also be utilizing daycare once I go back to work and they don't accept them (boo). So, I have no idea what size diapers to get, if we should try to stock up now, how many do you send with them to daycare...???? So many questions! And here I thought we would save some money! Will it cost the same as if we were using them at home or no because we won't use them at night?
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
DS1 7/24/15
DS2 5/7/17