@b_1029 honestly (dd was just a month shy of 3) it was an amazing transition for her. She was very proud to be the big sister and wanted to help. I gave her little things she could easily do (grab me the burp rag, turn off the lights, find your sister’s pacifier/toy/blanket) and she loved to entertain her. The hardest part for me was emotionally feeling like I wasn’t able to give her all my attention anymore and worrying about how she would suffer from that… spoiler: she didn’t. Having her sibling has enriched her life in ways I couldn’t comprehend at the time. I hope it’s going to be a really positive experience for you guys too.
Great point @happynapper I forgot about that part! Some nights I would go into DDs room and crawl into her bed and hug her in her sleep and just sob. Combination of hormones + adjusting to sharing myself as a Mom. Ahhh it’s all so emotional now that I think about it!!!
I already had a good sob the other day when I was putting DD to bed thinking about how the days of just the 3 of us are numbered. I’m excited to grow our family, obviously, but it’s still a little sad to think about this phase being over and the uncertainly of how we’ll all manage the next phase!
@tacosandtums Yes like the 3rd day we were home MH was back to work and I was feeling overwhelmed about having both of them by myself for the first time so I had MH drop DD off with MIL…. and then sat and cried with the newborn in my arms because I thought her big sister must feel like I was trying to replace her and I missed her and wanted her home so I called MY mom to leave work and pick DD up and bring her home to me (why didn’t I just call MIL directly???)… Talk about hormonal mess 🤭
Eta: so anyway it was definitely a *me* problem more than a sibling problem. And also on the flip side I remember worrying when I was pregnant with #2 about her never getting all of my attention to her self like my first DD had for almost her first 3 years. Well I’m here to tell you that we’ve had a lot of very special time together while her sister has been in Kindergarten and now 1st grade, and she’s old enough to remember those times at this age. So there are special little ways we bond with each of our kids I think. I already know I will get some alone time with this newborn when my second DD start preK a couple mornings a week in the fall so I don’t feel like I’m struggling as much this time to figure out how we are all going to “fit”.
DD1 was 2 weeks shy of turning 2 when DD2 was born. The transition from 1-2 was pretty good for us. I made sure that DD1 was very involved - she would fetch clean diapers / take dirty diapers to the garbage, pick out outfits, get blankets and burp cloths, turn the swing on and off, etc. and I made sure to spend time alone with her while the infant napped. We also did what I called “read and feed” where I’d read DD1 a book while breastfeeding DD2. There were definitely challenging days and it certainly wasn’t easy for me - I was angry and upset that covid fouled all my maternity plans with lockdown invoked when DD2 was just 4 days old! But for DD1, I think she really enjoyed it. She is the BEST big sister and the 2 have a wonderful bond. Looking back at photos, I can’t believe how much DD1 grew up in that first year. That’s my only regret - that I was more focused on DD2 growing and changing and developing that I feel I missed some of DD1’s milestones.
I’m not at all worried about the transition from 2-3. I know it’ll have its challenges and some days all I will do is cry, but everything will work itself out and our happy family will be complete ♥️
@b_1029@tango_612 for me, the transition from 1-2 was the easiest, despite having a worse time with PPD. I felt more confident in myself as a mother, didn’t freak out over every small thing (just most small things lol), and we weren’t outnumbered. DD1 was only 20 months old, and she bonded so well with DD2. It was definitely still difficult at times but it wasn’t the frantic transition of 0-1 or the outnumbered craziness of 2-3
All of this!! Pretty much exactly same experience. Only now I’m scared of going from 2-3, but at least my other 2 are much older, which may help.
@MrsLaLaBug I definitely think older kids would have made for an easier transition! DD1 was 4 (barely - her birthday is 2 weeks before DS’s) and DD2 wasnt quite 2.5 when DS was born. So we had one who was still in diapers, and one who wanted to do everything the grown ups did but couldn’t (and was also going through the Fournado stage). I think y’all will do wonderfully, but maybe set boundaries and expectations now with your older kids if that’s something that might help them.
For us, the transition from 1-2 was more difficult than 2-3. My son was 28 months and I think our difficulties were because of the type of kid HE was (sensitive, clingy, resistant to change - all of which still apply at 8.5) and the fact that my 2nd had colic. She cried for HOURS and it was torture for all of us. My son wanted nothing to do with her for months, it was difficult. 2-3 was a dream compared to that.
Married 11.12.11 JB 08.02.13 EC 12.11.15 GE 04.04.19 #4 & #5 due 05.05.22
@skc040512 omg. Fournado. I love it. 😂😂😂 @jackdetroit omg I am PRAYING this one is an easy baby and we don’t have any issues. I know of course that’s wishful thinking but I’m just too old and not really enthusiastic about any new challenges 😂😂😂
@MrsLaLaBug I hope everyone has easy babies, I hope I have two easy babies. High needs babies are no joke and I almost didn't have another baby after her. She was super unfriendly and difficult until she was like 2 or 3, now she is the sweetest little thing and everyone just adores her. We like to sit around and reminisce about what a crazy baby she was 😂
Married 11.12.11 JB 08.02.13 EC 12.11.15 GE 04.04.19 #4 & #5 due 05.05.22
@jackdetroit Yes and amen to a high needs baby!! Same over here. It was my first so I didn’t know what it was… I was just googling everyyyything and trying to figure out why my baby was so healthy but seemed so “hard”. Statistically speaking we probably won’t/can’t have another one, right???? (Don’t get me wrong- I adore my kid! But I’m really hoping for the textbook easy baby hahah)
Hi, all! I’d like some input on a sensitive topic for boy moms… circumcision. DH won’t budge on the subject. He wants it done. I’m a bit more apprehensive. I’m not asking y’all to help me change his mind or anything, but maybe set mine at ease? Have any of y’all had that conversation or made that decision in the past? The issue I’m having is that it’s an elective procedure on an infant… but it’s a very common one that he can’t opt into later in his life.
So, what is your personal opinion on this topic, if you want to share?
@taylorharris0522 I would personally say if it’s something you feel strongly about, get some links from research that have made you apprehensive and ask him to look through it. The rate of circumcision in the US is steadily dropping because a lot more people are becoming uncomfortable with it (it’s also apparently not common in any other country that isn’t a majority of people who ascribe to circumcision for religious reasons). I 100% support circumcision for religious reasons, but if that’s not a factor for you, definitely look into it. I didn’t do any research prior to having DS and honestly wish I had. He was out of our room for over an hour for the procedure and ended up sleeping for 9 hours after. At 2 days old. We literally couldn’t get him to wake and it freaked me out. I wish I had more knowledge going in, but I’m not positive it would have changed our decision. As with everything, I would encourage you to just arm yourself with knowledge and make the most informed decision you can!
@taylorharris0522 we are circumcising, my DH is also very stern on the subject but I also have several family members in the medical field, they’ve all expressed how they recommend circumcision and explained how it’s very common in nursing homes/assisted livings or for boys/men who are unable to properly take care of themselves to have severe UTIs and infections when uncircumcised. This knowledge has swayed me to be more comfortable with the idea of the procedure. My DH also had a cousin who had to be circumcised in middle school due to recurring infections and it was very rough at that age. However, we also have family not circumcised with no problems so I believe most complications are due to lack of hygiene!
@taylorharris0522 thank you for bringing this up! My hubs and i have literally had one conversation on this and we can both go either way. I need to research more but the quick bit i have done has showcased that it is steadily declining in the US.
@taylorharris0522 my brother had to get the procedure done around age 7 or so due to recurring infections. It was incredibly painful for him, although it definitely stopped the infections after.
@taylorharris0522 we're doing it for religious reasons (DH is Muslim), but even if it wasn't a part of his religion I would lean towards doing it based on what everyone said above.
That being said I only did quick research on it, so if you're considering your options I would recommend spending the time to research both sides and make whatever decision is best for you and your family!
@taylorharris0522 DH and I definitely have different opinions on it. We haven't really come to an agreement yet, but we also haven't really discussed it at length yet 🙈😂 it's definitely a tough, personal decision.
@taylorharris0522 we chose not to circumcise and will do the same with this kiddo. It's really a personal preference.
From Cribsheet (which sorry if I am a broken record but I really appreciate the data driven approach that also takes into account personal preference)
"The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests the health benefits of circumcision outweigh the costs, but they note correctly that both benefits and costs are quite small. This decision will often come down to personal preference, some type of cultural linkage, or just a desire to have your son’s penis look a particular way. These are all valid reasons to do it or not do it."
@jandawg I’m also a big fan of data and research studies. I just hate such neutral conclusions! Almost all major players in pediatric research basically conclude, “eh, you do you.”
@fireflyz_56 Thank you for sharing your family’s experience. That’s one thing I would be so worried about if we choose to opt out.
@karisahamdi My husband and I were raised in church, but we don’t go to church now and are still discussing how to raise our son. Neither of us have a religious reason to circumcise our son, but I almost wish we did. The decision wouldn’t even exist then! Plus, religion gives kids a great foundation and community.
Thank you everyone. Y’all are so helpful with these kinds of topics that I can’t really talk about with my in-person friends.
My mom and I talked about it, but she made her choices over 20 years ago so research has changed a lot. I’ll be discussing the topic at length with my OB as well.
@taylorharris0522 It is never too late to go to church! I wasn't raised in church but before my husband and I married we decided we wanted to join a church for our family, but you don't have to be a member to show up and you don't have to have a "home church" to start going again! If getting back onto church and re-establishing your faith is something you really would like to do, my advice is to reach out to family and friends who you guys may know attend a church.
So I started out this pregnancy a bit overweight and have tried to mostly maintain/monitor it to make sure I’m not going crazy. Last pregnancy I started 20# lighter and ended up gaining about 30# I think, pretty by the book as far as weight gain by trimester. Anyway my question is probably stupid but I weighed myself this morning and I’m only up 13# from when I found out I was pregnant, which is fine, but should I be worried that I’ve only gained 4# between the beginning of January and now when the internet says I should be gaining about a pound per week?
@b_1029 I just had another OB appt yesterday and I’m only up 6# in the last 9 weeks so I wouldn’t worry!! Everyone is so different with weight gain. I know this pregnancy for me is WAYYYY different weight wise than either one of my others. If you feel like you are healthy and doc says baby is fine, then pay zero attention to the internet. 💜💜💜
@b_1029 I wouldn't worry. Every pregnancy I've had, I've gained under the "normal" amount. Even with twins at my last appointment (27wks) I had only gained 14#. I think my body just adjusts my weight? Idk. I've always ignored the expected weight gain info and if you're all healthy and your doc is satisfied, I say woohoo!
Married 11.12.11 JB 08.02.13 EC 12.11.15 GE 04.04.19 #4 & #5 due 05.05.22
I’m only hovering around 9 lb weight gain so far and my OB asks me every time but doesn’t seem concerned as long as I have a good appetite and I’m not vomiting everything I eat back up. I gained 30-35lb with both other girls so this has been unusual for me.
@b_1029 I'm sure you're fine on weight gain, every pregnancy is different. I'm the weirdo who tracked weight gain with all pregnancies... I started out at the same weight with DD and this one. My 1st trimesters looked the same as far as weight loss, and then that's where they differ. I gained all my weight in 3rd trimester with DD, so like 25 lbs in 12-13 weeks. This time I started putting weight on in 2nd trimester so it's been closer to a lb a week, although I do feel I'll end up heavier than last time.
Anyway, if your doctor isn't concerned, then you have nothing to worry about!
Thank you all! That’s reassuring. I’m definitely not starving myself and I haven’t eaten overly healthy this entire time so maybe it’s just my body regulating my weight. I’m currently right around the weight I was when I delivered DD so I’m definitely not mad about this with 11ish weeks to go!
@b_1029 I didn’t gain any between my last two visits, I’m sure it’s normal to fluctuate some! As others have said I wouldn’t worry if doctor isn’t concerned!
I wouldn’t sweat it! Everyone is different, as is every pregnancy. I put on fast and furious second trimester but seem to have almost plateaued since mid Jan as well. My midwives don’t even weigh me, so if I wasn’t doing it myself nobody would have the slightest idea or care.
Ok I know we’ve had plenty of conversations about maternity clothes, but what are some of your favorite brands of nursing clothes? Kindred bravely has never fit me well so any other options that are good quality and not super expensive?
@skc040512 preaching again about Cadenshae!! They are a little pricey and more directed towards athletic gear and nursing, but I think very worth it for most of the products (and their nursing stuff is super discreet so I wear it during pregnancy and well after nursing too; nobody can tell there are hidden breastfeeding zippers/clips). They having nursing bras, leggings with very supportive belly bands, nursing tops, tanks and sweaters, a new line of leisure clothing AND a new swimsuit line.
Re: The Great Big Question Thread
@tacosandtums DD will be 3.5 when this guy is born so I'm comforted by your story!!
I already had a good sob the other day when I was putting DD to bed thinking about how the days of just the 3 of us are numbered. I’m excited to grow our family, obviously, but it’s still a little sad to think about this phase being over and the uncertainly of how we’ll all manage the next phase!
Eta: so anyway it was definitely a *me* problem more than a sibling problem.
And also on the flip side I remember worrying when I was pregnant with #2 about her never getting all of my attention to her self like my first DD had for almost her first 3 years. Well I’m here to tell you that we’ve had a lot of very special time together while her sister has been in Kindergarten and now 1st grade, and she’s old enough to remember those times at this age. So there are special little ways we bond with each of our kids I think. I already know I will get some alone time with this newborn when my second DD start preK a couple mornings a week in the fall so I don’t feel like I’m struggling as much this time to figure out how we are all going to “fit”.
I’m not at all worried about the transition from 2-3. I know it’ll have its challenges and some days all I will do is cry, but everything will work itself out and our happy family will be complete ♥️
JB 08.02.13
EC 12.11.15
GE 04.04.19
#4 & #5 due 05.05.22
@jackdetroit omg I am PRAYING this one is an easy baby and we don’t have any issues. I know of course that’s wishful thinking but I’m just too old and not really enthusiastic about any new challenges 😂😂😂
JB 08.02.13
EC 12.11.15
GE 04.04.19
#4 & #5 due 05.05.22
From Cribsheet (which sorry if I am a broken record but I really appreciate the data driven approach that also takes into account personal preference)
"The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests the health benefits of circumcision outweigh the costs, but they note correctly that both benefits and costs are quite small. This decision will often come down to personal preference, some type of cultural linkage, or just a desire to have your son’s penis look a particular way. These are all valid reasons to do it or not do it."
My mom and I talked about it, but she made her choices over 20 years ago so research has changed a lot. I’ll be discussing the topic at length with my OB as well.
JB 08.02.13
EC 12.11.15
GE 04.04.19
#4 & #5 due 05.05.22
Anyway, if your doctor isn't concerned, then you have nothing to worry about!