@pajamstagrams I do!! I hardly had them with my first (or not that I recognized). And I had a very long labour and traumatic birth experience (some outside influences that are impossible to recur so nobody needs to be frightened or turned off by that). I had them regularly with my second. Even went to L&D at 28 weeks because I was having semi regular BH AND had lost some of my plug. It was nothing. 5 days before my due date, I went to the hospital at 8cm dilated but not in labour. They broke my water and I was holding DD2 in my arms in less than an hour. And I credit all those “practice” contractions to giving me a wonderfully perfect and healing birth.
@brookejay06 I didn’t believe it myself. That’s why I went into hospital - for a second opinion because I thought my OB/GYN was smoking something…it’s rare but it happens!!
I’m here to see y’all’s opinions on raspberry leaf tea (I’ve looked into the labor prep RBT pink stork) and medjool dates. I’ve seen where some people claim they helped them go into natural labor/faster labor. Some claim they helped prevent tearing during labor since they supposedly help soften the cervix and strengthens uterine muscles. With this being my first my biggest fear right now is going over 40 weeks and being induced/having a c-section! I just wanted to see if anyone had experience consuming either of these to help with labor!
* I plan to start the tea at 30 weeks as approved by my OB (she said it wouldn’t hurt but isn’t guaranteed results) & dates around 36 weeks.
Hm I hadn't heard about any connection with preventing tearing. Completely anecdotal but I did drink raspberry leaf tea in the 3rd trimester with my first and I had no tearing despite pushing for 4 hours, moving to a vacuum assist, and then a forceps assist (before ultimately moving to c section - kiddo was way stuck).
Mostly after avoiding tea (so many herbal teas have licorice root and other stuff) I was just happy to have another hot beverage to drink.
And maybe this is not something you're looking for but you mentioned fear of being induced/c-section and obviously labor and delivery did not go the way I expected with my first. I was surprised at all the emotions I had after having a c-section but I am very glad to not carry any trauma from that experience because I felt very informed and capable of understanding of what the options were benefits/risks and knew when moving to c-section that it was absolutely the right choice. Emily Oster a Expecting Better and The Positive Birth Company (out of the UK) were great resources for me in preparing for labor.
I had barely started eating dates when I went into labor so I have no idea how much they helped. As far as RLT I think it’s up to you, I haven’t seen anything indicating it being harmful. I didn’t personally do it but didn’t research benefits or anything. I doubt there’s a connection but I didn’t tear and I didn’t do either of those things.
@sph97 I echo @jandawg sentiments. I hope you get the birth you envision but I would be prepared for anything happening. I too didn’t have the experience I expected. I wouldn’t say I was afraid of a c-section but I never thought I would end up needing one and yet that is exactly what happened. It definitely took a mental toll not being prepared for that possibility. While I hope the tea and dates work for you, just make sure to prepare yourself that they don’t.
@sph97 I drank my tea and ate my dates (and did perineum massage) religiously in the third trimester of both previous pregnancies. My first, delivery did NOT go as planned. Going into labour I was fully effaced and 4cm dilated. So perhaps they helped with “ripening”. But I ended up needing to push my baby out at only 8cm dilated with a vacuum assist and therefore an episiotomy. There were outside influencers on my delivery which I don’t really wish to speak about, but I want to reiterate with the other STM+ that while it’s wonderful to have a birth plan, because in making one you often educate yourself about all options and outcomes, know that just because that’s what you “want” that doesn’t mean that’s what you’ll “get”. It’s definitely easier said than done, but speak up for yourself and your baby, or have your partner do it if you’re unable to (although I think it’s even harder for them as bystanders who can’t feel what we feel but only see what we show). And ultimately, not to be dismissive, what matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mama.
My second delivery was fast, “easy” and no tearing. I prepared in the same way with tea, dates and perineum massage. So did they play a factor or was it because my body knew better what to do?
I’m going to do the same this time. To know that I did everything I could to make things go as smoothly as possible. But I understand, that even if you prepare, some things are totally out of our control. ♥️
@sph97 definitely not! It’s good to be prepared. I was in the process of harassing DH to get me different dates (mine were like sugar coated? Idk they were nasty) before I went into labor. Whatever makes you feel prepared for the experience.
@sph97 I ate dates (maybe like 2/3 the amount they recommended) daily, pineapple, and I went into labor at 40+2. I had a decently (?) quick labor for a FTM, by the time I was having strong contractions to when I reached 10 cm was maybe like 10 hours? I did push for 3 hours, but DD was sunny side up and stuck, and had a 99% head and was 9.5 lbs. Had very small 2nd degree tears. Anyway, idk if the dates helped me. Will I do them again? Probably, if my mom makes them into treats again lol.
Dates are one of those things where they probably can't hurt (unless you have GD, because they are pure sugar lol).
Agree with others on the birth plan sentiments....it's great to go in with a plan, but sh*t happens, and sometimes you don't get what you want. Research all the options, look into c sections & inductions just in case you need them, so you are more informed now.
But...I get it. I'm pretty nervous I'll get pressured into a c section/induction because of my history of a large baby. Ultimately it will come down to a good discussion with my doctor on the best choice for me and baby.
@sph97 you're welcome - fellow planner here! Definitely a fan of planning and preparing. My 'plan' was just to be as flexible as possible to be able to respond to whatever the situation required. And ultimately that's how it went. For me that looked like starting at home (I'm in Canada/you can always choose to go to the hospital but you can't choose to go back home), then moving to the hospital when it was recommended, then the attempted assists, then the c-section. The Positive Birth Company talks about a rubric called "BRAIN - benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, (do) nothing - and I basically followed that for every decision I needed to make throughout labor and I think it was hugely helpful for me.
Also dates are yummy - I put them on oatmeal bowls/cereal bowls!
Thanks for asking this @sph97 because I'm really appreciating all the answers for everyone! I'm 100% type A but also understand I have no control over what happens with pregnancy and birth and it's nice to hear how everyone dealt with that in their previous pregnancies
With my first i didn’t do any of the tips and tricks mentioned above as i was not aware. I’m a type A but was aware plans came change so i really didn’t make a plan and just told my OB and hospital that i want a safe and healthy delivery. I did end up with a vaginal, under 2 hours of pushing and a nice 3rd degree tear.
Again, going into this one with no plan and just for both of us to be healthy.
This is totally anecdotal but I did not do any of the “tricks” to induce labor naturally and baby still came 5 days early. I labored without meds and the whole thing lasted about 10 hours (from water breaking, contractions starting, and baby being in my arms). I did tear— But I believe that is the norm with 1st babies so I would probably go into it like you will tear and then be pleasantly surprised if you don’t!
I’m appreciating the reminders to relax and be mentally prepared for multiple outcomes. Thanks everyone. After having one healthy and uncomplicated delivery, I am definitely expecting that again except maybe “better” (aka no tearing, shorter pushing time, etc)… I know it’s totally possible but also it’s possible that it could be a C section! I need to prepare my heart and mind for it to go different than last time.
I have so many friends who have had C sections and while it’s definitely no minor thing, there are some perks and I’ve seen some really smooth recoveries… (even better than my vaginal recovery)… so it’s not all bad!!
I didn’t try any raspberry leaf tea or dates, I didn’t know those were suggestions. I did not tear with DD either. I did have contractions for about 12 hours (from the very first ones) and then I pushed her out in 13 minutes, which I was super proud of myself for.
However, I did have some complications after she was born which nothing could have prepared me for. DD was perfectly healthy though and that’s all that matters.
With this pregnancy, I’m definitely going in with the mindset that anything can happen but I’m hopeful that this time I won’t have complications after. I think honestly my biggest worry this time is being a half hour away from the nearest hospital.
@fireflyz_56 I'm 25 min away from my hospital, best case scenario. Up to an hour in traffic. It just means I need to account for that when I call the doctor when I go into labor. The worst part is having contractions while you're in the car 😖
We live really close to the interstate the hospital is located on, but I'm nervous about contractions in the car. My plan for DD was too leave her with in town family but one of them just got arrested for child endangerment (dui) and the other doesn't need 4 kids to watch so I'll either start with DD with us or wait for my parents to make the 1.5 hour drive.
With DD my water broke and contractions didn't really start so I had to go in early on and was put on pitocin. It was 10 hours from water breaking to DD in my arms and 7 minutes of pushing. My advice is that my tears weren't healing correctly so I was still in A LOT of pain 6 weeks postpartum. Don't be afraid to message you doctor and ask if something feels off.
Yesterday I spent an hour looking up “how to deliver safely in your car”. I’m surprisingly calm about this. It seems fairly straight forward. Don’t drop the baby, clear the nasal passage of mucus so they can breathe, dry them and skin-to-skin to keep them warm. I’ve read mixed things on clamping the umbilical cord or just not touching it at all. I think it may depend on how far from the hospital you are. I’m definitely going to ask my midwife about that aspect at my next appointment. My second labour was SO fast. Less than an hour. I delivered both my other girls naturally and unmedicated (except laughing gas), so know I can do this girlie too. I’m going to throw a few towels, a bulb syringe and some shoelaces into the car just in case we don’t make the 30 min drive. 30 mins doesn’t sound far, but before we can leave we need to ensure our childcare arrives at the house for the other 2 kids.
@annashaf as for the cord, unless momma is like bleeding out, there is nothing dangerous about leaving the cord unclamped for extended periods of time (I made the mistake of looking up lotus births once and while I tend to be a touch on the crunchy side, that’s a NOPE for me lol). Hopefully none of us will be delivering in cars though 😂 I did research how to deliver your own baby though just in case 😂😂😂
@annashaf@skc040512 I think the important thing to remember if you deliver in the car is...have your husband/partner/someone immediately call 911 lol. Paramedics should be able to help whenever they get there, ideally before baby comes out lol.
I would 100% not be calm if I had to deliver in the car 😆 especially because DH would probably be passed out at the wheel. He can’t deal with anything medical. Luckily we live like 15 min from the hospital. I feel for you all that have longer drives- being in the car with contractions is no joke.
@b_1029 before we left, I told myself..."ok, ~5 minutes apart. 25 min drive. You'll probably have 5 contractions, that's it. It's not too bad, you can make it." It hurt like hell because I had back labor and sitting was uncomfortable, but I did indeed only have 5 contractions lol. That 5th was right as the hospital valet opened my door to let me out. 😂
I'm just hoping I go in overnight again. My worst nightmare would be like 6-9 am and 3-7 pm during the week during rush hours.
I've only ever had to go to the hospital during off-hours which is about 25 minutes from where we live, but during those busy hours, the highway can be backed up 45 minutes. It may be time to test the back roads during my next visit!
@karisahamdi yeah we made sure we knew multiple routes to the hospital 😂 my OBs office was over there last time so it wasn't a big deal, and DD has a bunch of doctors in that same area so we've been down there soooo many times. Now I just need to confirm that I am still delivering at that same hospital, and not the closer one located where my OBs new office is 😬 (I know, I know, why *wouldn't* I choose the closer one where my OB is....🙃)
@pajamstagrams our emergency health care system is so stretched here that we’d be better off carrying onto the hospital ourselves rather than wait for paramedics. The wait time can sometimes be hours…it’s more than a tad ridiculous (not faulting paramedics. They’re sure doing their darnedest!!). The good thing is, my placentas tend to be “sticky” and need strong encouragement to come out. The bad thing is, that when they do finally let go, I may hemorrhage. So my plan would be to stay attached, get to the hospital ASAP so the fine folks in labour and delivery can cleanly cut the cord before we begin working on the placenta.
@annashaf oof, yeah, in your case, best to be ultra prepared if you need to get to the hospital ASAP. Well I hope all this prep is completely unnecessary for you and you make it in plenty of time!!
I feel like I learn so much from y'all, lol! I live an hour away from our hospital (it's the closest hospital with a L&D) so delivering in my car is something my OB has brought up with me, letting me know that I don't *have* to wait if I feel like I'm in labor, to come on in just in case. FX that we make it just fine but it has totally been a fear in the back of mind. That & my water breaking in the middle of class, my students would totally freak out lol.
Ok, STM+, give it to me straight. How hard is the transition from 1-2 (especially if the 1 is around 2 years old)? What can I expect? Anything we can do to ease the transition?
I’m curious what other STM+ moms without family near you have done with their older kids when you go to the hospital/birth center. My family lives 4+ hours away so I’m hoping someone could get here to be with DD but we don’t have a good backup plan if I go during the week. Our friends mostly work so they wouldn’t be available and we just moved so I don’t really know our neighbors yet.
DD is conveniently going through a clingy phase so honestly I’m also worried that I’ll be stressed about her if we need to leave her with someone she doesn’t know well. But maybe once labor gets intense I won’t even think about it!
@b_1029@tango_612 for me, the transition from 1-2 was the easiest, despite having a worse time with PPD. I felt more confident in myself as a mother, didn’t freak out over every small thing (just most small things lol), and we weren’t outnumbered. DD1 was only 20 months old, and she bonded so well with DD2. It was definitely still difficult at times but it wasn’t the frantic transition of 0-1 or the outnumbered craziness of 2-3
How far apart are the kids going to be? In my case my DD was 3years,3 months old when DS was born and that age gap was rather blissful. She was sweet and loving and they didn’t fight or have any sort of jealousy issues. We got her a big sister shirt and a present when he came home. I will say she didn’t hold him for like 3 weeks—she admired from afar while she got comfortable with his existence LOL.
Was this the thread where the dates/Red raspberry tea convo was happening? It got buried lol I think it was @sph97 asking about it. One of my favorite accounts to follow on Instagram is MommyLaborNurse and she actually posted about this today! It’s got some good info on her page/stories right now. She also offers labor classes for natural, epidural, and planned c-section, in addition to a bunch of free labor resources. I wish I had followed her as a first time mom, but I’ve still found her posts helpful this go around too!
Re: The Great Big Question Thread
Now that you've all described BH I totally know what that sensation is. I thought it was LO rolling weird 🤦🏻♀️
With this being my first my biggest fear right now is going over 40 weeks and being induced/having a c-section! I just wanted to see if anyone had experience consuming either of these to help with labor!
Mostly after avoiding tea (so many herbal teas have licorice root and other stuff) I was just happy to have another hot beverage to drink.
And maybe this is not something you're looking for but you mentioned fear of being induced/c-section and obviously labor and delivery did not go the way I expected with my first. I was surprised at all the emotions I had after having a c-section but I am very glad to not carry any trauma from that experience because I felt very informed and capable of understanding of what the options were benefits/risks and knew when moving to c-section that it was absolutely the right choice. Emily Oster a Expecting Better and The Positive Birth Company (out of the UK) were great resources for me in preparing for labor.
My second delivery was fast, “easy” and no tearing. I prepared in the same way with tea, dates and perineum massage. So did they play a factor or was it because my body knew better what to do?
I’m going to do the same this time. To know that I did everything I could to make things go as smoothly as possible. But I understand, that even if you prepare, some things are totally out of our control. ♥️
Dates are one of those things where they probably can't hurt (unless you have GD, because they are pure sugar lol).
Agree with others on the birth plan sentiments....it's great to go in with a plan, but sh*t happens, and sometimes you don't get what you want. Research all the options, look into c sections & inductions just in case you need them, so you are more informed now.
But...I get it. I'm pretty nervous I'll get pressured into a c section/induction because of my history of a large baby. Ultimately it will come down to a good discussion with my doctor on the best choice for me and baby.
Also dates are yummy - I put them on oatmeal bowls/cereal bowls!
I'm not a tea fan, but may try it! I do plan on doing perineal massages starting at 34 weeks.
However, I did have some complications after she was born which nothing could have prepared me for. DD was perfectly healthy though and that’s all that matters.
With this pregnancy, I’m definitely going in with the mindset that anything can happen but I’m hopeful that this time I won’t have complications after. I think honestly my biggest worry this time is being a half hour away from the nearest hospital.
With DD my water broke and contractions didn't really start so I had to go in early on and was put on pitocin. It was 10 hours from water breaking to DD in my arms and 7 minutes of pushing. My advice is that my tears weren't healing correctly so I was still in A LOT of pain 6 weeks postpartum. Don't be afraid to message you doctor and ask if something feels off.
I'm just hoping I go in overnight again. My worst nightmare would be like 6-9 am and 3-7 pm during the week during rush hours.
I've only ever had to go to the hospital during off-hours which is about 25 minutes from where we live, but during those busy hours, the highway can be backed up 45 minutes. It may be time to test the back roads during my next visit!
I live an hour away from our hospital (it's the closest hospital with a L&D) so delivering in my car is something my OB has brought up with me, letting me know that I don't *have* to wait if I feel like I'm in labor, to come on in just in case. FX that we make it just fine but it has totally been a fear in the back of mind. That & my water breaking in the middle of class, my students would totally freak out lol.