The Great Big Question Thread

kiwi2628 · October 2021

@knitkiwi I didn’t do it because I wanted delayed cord clamping and our hospital doesn’t do both. Since you can’t use your own kids cord blood anyway I won’t be saving it this time either

doula-mama · October 2021

@knitkiwi We donated with our first; with our second, it was early covid and it wasn't an option. We were still able to do delayed clamping (they wait about 2 minutes if you want to do delayed and donation), which we were comfortable with.

There's a lot of false marketing about private banking, and we felt like it's pretty much a scam, so weren't interested in that at all.

constantinabee · October 2021

@knitkiwi We are considering cord blood and tissue banking because there are currently studies being run here in Australia to prevent or possibly even treat Type 1 diabetes with it. My husband was diagnosed with type 1 at 7 years old so we are worried that the baby will develop it at some point.

minnie_yoga_mama · October 2021

Could it have been possible to feel my baby moving last night at 14 weeks?? Has anyone felt their baby this early? I wasn’t expecting it for at least a couple more weeks but last night when I was laying on the couch, a couple inches below my belly button I felt 3-4 twitches that felt kind of like muscle spasms. I read this is what early movements feel like— but since it’s so early, I’m not sure if this is my uterine muscle twitching, or the actual baby!

shlecks · October 2021

@minnie_yoga_mama I have felt this too, but I hesitate to say that's what it is because I *thought* I had an anterior placenta. But I don't think it's too early, it's just that many times you don't know that's what it is especially if it's your first.

Ivorytower2 · October 2021

@minnie_yoga_mama I’m so glad you asked this. I was feeling crazy because I swear I felt a roll on my lower left side when I was laying in bed two nights ago. I don’t know what else it could have been - it felt just like baby movement, but it seems way too early!

babya422 · October 2021

@minnie_yoga_mama I don’t think it’s too soon. I’ve read it’s possible to feel movement this early. I’ve felt something similar and I’m pretty sure it’s baby!!

doxiemoxie212 · October 2021

@minnie_yoga_mama so that definitely is what movement feels like (I described it more as popcorn popping near my pubic bone lol), and I did feel DD3 at 16 weeks, so not that far off, but I will also say that since I had her I have felt that same exact feeling while being 100000% not pregnant lol. The way I knew it was movement with DD3 was it happened when I drank/ate sugary stuff in movie theaters - like clockwork! (Ugh remember worry-free movie theaters???) It was the combo of me being still, the movie being loud, the sugar stuff making her go nuts.

ETA: so I guess what I'm saying is try to find a replicable scenario to confirm

monstera13 · October 2021

I’ve also in the last week had a few flutters that felt like early baby kicks, but I’ve also (TMI) been a bit gassy, so I can’t rule out that it was really that. With DS3 it was 17 weeks before I felt baby movements, so it seems like it should be soon with this baby!

SmashJam · October 2021

I'm having my first ultrasound tomorrow at 11 +3 and I just double checked the time in the portal-it says I'm scheduled for a transvaginal ultrasound. Is that normal for 11 weeks? I'm not sure I've ever had to have a transvaginal ultrasound because I usually have to wait so damn long to get one! If it turns out they don't need to do transvaginal will they be able to do the other pretty easily or is it something I should call and ask about before I get there tomorrow?

fameonmain2 · October 2021

@SmashJam when I went in at 10w they started with abdominal but then went to translational bc the tech couldn’t get good images from the abdominal. But then when I went in at 11+1 they were able to do the whole NT scan abdominally. Not really an answer for you but hope that helps!

doxiemoxie212 · October 2021

@SmashJam by 10 weeks they could do abdominal for the doppler.... and at 12 weeks they could do abdominal for the NT scan.... definitely did need transvaginal at 8 weeks, though.

SmashJam · October 2021

@fameonmain2 ah so it sounds like all the stuff will probably be in the same room if they moved to the other at your appt, so they'd probably just switch if they need to. @doxiemoxie212 yeah I thought I was at a time when it would be pretty easy to see stuff using the abdominal. Maybe they just decided to schedule transvaginal so they had all the equipment just in case? Who knows.

knitkiwi · October 2021

@SmashJam I was scheduled for transvaginal at 8w + 4 days but they were able to see everything and hear the heartbeat with abdominal so I ended up not needing it

zamoraspin · October 2021

@SmashJam At my OB’s office it’s one machine and a matter of which attachment they use whether it’s belly or transvaginal. At my 9w5d we did belly but the tech switched to transvaginal part way through to try to see the twins’ individual amniotic sacks because that wasn’t showing up well on the belly.

doxiemoxie212 · October 2021

@SmashJam I think some of it might be anatomy. Like if you have the uterus type that tips backward (which is not problematic in general) maybe abdominal can only happen later in a pregnancy or something? So yeah, probably just erring on the side of caution - who knows.

bluecampanula · October 2021

@SmashJam I agree it’s probably just out of caution. Most of my first u/s have been earlier and so they try abdominal first then do transvaginal. This time I was somewhere between 10 1/2-11 weeks so just abdominal worked out (and I do have a tipped uterus)

this time was different though because I had to sign several papers that explained they may have to do a transvaginal u/s, explain what it was, plus my rights to stop or decline at any time, etc.

missa_lyssa · October 2021

I was wondering about feeling movement too! I’m at 13w and felt what several others have described: could be small muscle twitches or bubbles in the digestive system, but maybe the baby? Haha.

Blondesweety444 · October 2021

I've had a couple of big twitches that make me wonder if its baby. Overall feeling more bubbles and twitches which I know can't be purely gas bubbles. I'm just not able to say "oh that was baby!" quite yet.

boymom312 · October 2021

First movements for me have always been closer to the 20 wk mark. The earliest was 17 wks and felt like flutters or butterfly wings. With that said, I’m not positive what is “normal”.

doxiemoxie212 · October 2021

When are your SOs telling their work about your pregnancy?

DH told his work 20 weeks with DD3, but he'd been working there a lot longer. He started at his new firm in July sooooo won't even have been a year when I give birth. Full leave at his firm is 16 weeks, but since he hasn't been there a year it will be prorated, but I don't know how they calculate it. Hard to plan things without knowing, but DH is hesitant to tell his office even though I'm 16 weeks...

Blondesweety444 · October 2021

That’s hard @doxiemoxie212. Maybe it would help to tell one or two people as he feels comfortable and as it comes up in conversation. A big announcement feels like a lot of pressure which isn’t as fun when you are new.

My DH started his job in Jan and has told his team on a one on one basis as things came up with dr appts and what not.

jessabelle05 · October 2021

@doxiemoxie212 - my partner starts his new job on Monday, and honestly I’m pretty sure he’s already told them (he loves sharing the news…he told his family right after we found out I was pregnant…whereas I waited until I was about 11 weeks or so). I, on the other hand, have barely started telling people at work. Up until today only two people knew: my boss and my work bff who I tell everything haha. Today I told a few people I work closely with. I’m debating on doing a big announcement, or just telling people as it comes up. Granted — most of the people on my team I see only a couple times a year since we are located all over the west coast…but doing a big announcement feels like too much for me. I’m not big on drawing attention to myself if I can help it!

kiwi2628 · October 2021

DH told everyone immediately- he works on a close knit team though

SmashJam · October 2021

DH has been at his company 8 years and his team knows (one is his brother, tho) but I don't think his executive bosses know. He's the director of his department so he doesn't have to say anything for doc appts he wants to come to or anything, and HR won't need to know for leave until much later.

fameonmain2 · October 2021

I think MH has told some colleagues but not many work people yet. He does not get an extended leave so there’s no rush to let them know for planning or anything.

rbflei · October 2021

Did not wait to tell my work. They knew before family. Logistics really. If I'm super sick or have to change my schedule they need to know. Also they have to plan backfill coverage for 3 months and always appreciate a heads up. We waited to tell anyone at my husband's work till this week. They are like the fastest gossip chain around. But are really great at working with us on time off as we try to split his paternity leave and take a few weeks on the front where we are all together and a few weeks on the back when I go back to work where he has the baby alone and extends time before daycare.

doxiemoxie212 · October 2021

Blondesweety444 said:

That’s hard @doxiemoxie212. Maybe it would help to tell one or two people as he feels comfortable and as it comes up in conversation. A big announcement feels like a lot of pressure which isn’t as fun when you are new.

My DH started his job in Jan and has told his team on a one on one basis as things came up with dr appts and what not.

I don't think he has anyone? They're fully remote still because of SF covid requirements, so he's only met a few people in person 1x each, and they're like the managing partners of the firm (he's a lawyer). His "mentor" is also the managing partner of the firm lol and his supervisor is the head of the corporate department. So there's not really like a dip your toes in route.

doxiemoxie212 · October 2021

Yeah, I mean, I haven't told the people I do freelance work for, but my contracts for them are month-to-month anyway, so it seems silly to tell them that in 6 months I might not be available to do work for them. And I wouldn't get any maternity leave benefits or anything so they don't actually ever have to know lol but I'll probably tell them if they're still asking for hours from me closer to 7mo pregnant.

But DH gets leave so I really would love to know how much.

momof222 · October 2021

Hi guys it’s come to my attention I didn’t post this in the right spot and found this question thread!!
I am reaching out maybe to hear some similar stories or at least some advice or words of encouragement. Long story short, I was dating a guy for only a few months and I got pregnant, just to find out he was abusive to his ex girlfriend after some digging because I started seeing red flags with him. We are no longer together but I am having this baby. I haven’t really heard from him other than my ultrasound. Now, before this relationship started I had a one night stand with my ex who I’ve known and been with for 8 years whom I already have a 5 year old daughter with. We are talking about seriously working things out between us and he is okay with my pregnancy and wants to be there for me and the baby and our daughter. I guess I just feel a sense of shame for getting pregnant by someone else I barely even knew, though I do love my baby and I’m very excited to meet him/her. Is anyone here pregnant and not with the father of their baby? Or at least have some wise words or words of encouragement for me? Obviously this is a very stressful time

hoosiermamajayden · October 2021

@tallamak000 welcome to the group! Sending hugs. That sounds very stressful and confusing. I’m glad you’re able to find some support and get excited about baby, though. Idk if there’s one in your area, but I’m a local leader for a group called Embrace Grace and a lot of the moms have been in similar situations or at least have gone through pregnancy without the dad involved. Worth looking into!

winterviolethope · October 2021

Just realized I have a hair coloring appt. on Saturday… do I still go?

I think it’s ok, right?

shlecks · October 2021

@winterviolethope I got my hair colored and highlighted through my last pregnancy so I think you're fine. Also I'm a cosmetologist and it has never been a concern in my decade+ of experience. If that helps. I think it's more risky if it's a DIY or just completely unprofessional situation. Non-salon quality products would be a no-no.

Ivorytower2 · October 2021

Has anyone started sleeping with a pregnancy pillow yet? I wanted to wait as long as possible, but my lower back is already starting to hurt at night:

shlecks · October 2021

@Ivorytower2

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/26FxuliqWKDPALJxC/giphy.gif

bluecampanula · October 2021

haha. Yes. @shlecks sums it up well. I think I started around week 8 or something ridiculous this time. Maybe earlier. Mostly because I was mad at our new pillows, but you know what? They’re like this big comfy hug, so no promises I will ever give it up.

Blondesweety444 · October 2021

@Ivorytower2 I think I got mine at 12 weeks. I wanted to get it earlier because I loved it so much last time.

No need to force yourself to wait..dooo ittt!!

fameonmain2 · October 2021

@Ivorytower2 mine just came in today!

amys614 · October 2021

@Ivorytower2 I started at like 7 weeks 😬

aloha_mama · October 2021

When we get closer to April, would anyone be interested if I did an “Ask an IBCLC” thread? I’ll be out of a job by then and would love to help out anyone needing breastfeeding advice or guidance!

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