April 2022 Moms
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The Great Big Question Thread

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Re: The Great Big Question Thread

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    @doula-mama. I love your list!  I just tried showing it to my husband to get him to chill a bit, but it was a no go :-( He actually got listeria a few months ago, we're guessing from lox, but not sure, and it did a number on him, like, not 100% normal for almost a month.  Now he's paranoid of everything! I get it, I really do, but I also know it's just gonna make me sneakier withy food during 3rd trimester when I'm starving again! 
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    Has anyone tried Bonjesta? I had my appointment today and told my doctor I was still feeling really sick abs unable to eat even with the Zofran. She perscribed me Bonjesta but I just called the pharmacy and it’s $199 for 60 pills! I guess insurance doesn’t cover. Now I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth it.
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    edited September 2021
    @Ivorytower2 Bonjesta is the same active ingredients as Unisom+vitamin b6, but it’s got a slow release tablet to last longer. I also tend to trust vitamins combined into pharmaceuticals more because they have a lot more oversight from the FDA than supplements.

    You could find out if Diclegis is covered, which is similar to Bonjesta, but doesn’t have as much of an extended slow release. You can also see if there are any manufacturer rebates or prescription club discounts. Finally you can check different pharmacies because every pharmacy will have a different out of pocket price, sometimes radically different.

    I’m so sorry you aren’t able to eat. I’m right there with you. 😔
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    I am still dying hair, getting mania/pedis and drinking 1 Diet Coke, sometimes two a day. I avoid lunch meat, don’t scoop litter because why should I pull the pregnancy card there with husband? I never eat sushi 
    But, Will still order my steak medium rare and eat Caesar salads. No alcohol but maybe a sip here and there in 3rd tri
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
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    7w here and nauseous all the time. Eating tons of ginger items, but it isn't making much of a difference. I want to add in vitamin b6, but I was unsure of the dosage. Any insight would be greatly appreciated! 
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    @meow719 My midwives recommend 25 mg, up to 150 mg per day. I had trouble finding small dosage tablets but found a 35 mg on Amazon 
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    @meow719 How much you supplement with also depends on how much is in your prenatal - prenatal dosages vary widely 
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    @meow719 Same as @doula-mama, I take 25mg twice a day (12:30 and 6:30)  with half a unisom also. I couldn’t find small pills but the 100mg ones are pretty easy to chop into quarters. 
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    Thanks ladies! I thought that was the amount I had been told, but I couldn't find that dose anywhere. 
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    I was able to find 25mg on Amazon but I had to specifically search for that dosage.
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    So DH and I were running errands today and realized, as second time parents, we have no idea what to do for childcare for our 3/4 year old when the baby is born! We have no close friends or family in the area. Grandma and Grandpa will only be a 3 hour drive away luckily. Question for STM+ moms… how did you handle childcare during labor?
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    @mamaamandapanda I fully intend on inviting mom to visit for the few days around the due date but we benefit from a scheduled C-section so I in theory I will be able to plan it all in advance.
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    @mamaamandapanda have you looked into sibling doulas?
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    @mamaamandapanda, we didn’t have family around either when we were having our second. We ended up picking our very close friends and they watched her for a couple of days. Also, you have plenty of time to arrange a plan A, B, C etc depending on whether your water breaks, you are getting induced or end up having a c-section. Maybe some friends or a sitter can stay with #1 until your parents can make it in. 
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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    @mamaamandapanda We have a pretty similar situation with a 4yo and no family nearby. My mom plans to fly out for the birth and the week after, so I think I will probably ask one of my close work friends to be a backup plan to watch my son until my mom gets here if my water breaks before she’s here.
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    @mamaamandapanda This is actually the thing I am the most anxious about. Forget labor and delivery, I am so stressed about childcare for DD6 that I am losing sleep over it. We will be in a completely new area so we most likely won’t have anyone I trust enough to keep DD6 at their place, and she was a preemie so I can’t plan to have someone there around the due date because the due date has zero meaning to us. My dream is to have DD6 with me during delivery but I just don’t see that happening. I’m not comfortable with a home birth. Our option right now is to have family members come stay with us for shifts of a week or so in the six weeks leading up to the delivery in the hopes that one of them will be there when the time comes. 
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    I’ve seen friends and family use sitters, including hiring from an agency with background checks and fit testing. A neighbor might be able to fill in as a stop gap. And I know this isn’t ideal at all, but your DH can watch the older child(ren) while you’re in labor as a very last resort in the event of unexpected timing. Hopefully other family can arrive quickly. Fortunately, you USUALLY have 3 or more hours of warning during early labor before you have to go to the hospital/birthing location.

    My SIL and her H just welcomed a baby and we watched their DD4. We were actually their backup plan because their MIL (plan A) got exposed to RSV. Just a quick plug for backup plans, especially in the age of Covid.
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    The worry about care for my son was HUGE for me last time. We also don't have family around, and it was the beginning of Covid lockdowns (last April). I think I had our primary people and then four back ups? 

    This time, we'll use the same people, although I'm slowly working on my in-laws, to try and get them to plan on coming out for the month of April... 
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    how long did it take for NIPT tests to come back? I have one on Monday… any ideas how long they take? 

    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
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    I took mine Friday afternoon and my OB got it Tuesday evening.
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    how long did it take for NIPT tests to come back? I have one on Monday… any ideas how long they take? 

    When we did NIPT for DS2 they said 7-14 days but it took less than a week to get results. It might be that some labs are slower than others. I hope it comes back quickly for you!
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    @doxiemoxie212 thank you! I’m taking it on Monday and have an appointment Wednesday with the doctor so fingers crossed he has it then!
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married: October 2011
    DS: January 2016
    DS: May 2019
    #3: April 2022
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    Hey ladies, would love some advice. Both my SIL and BFF have been grieving miscarriages this past year. I want to make sure I tell them before someone else does, but I want to do it in a compassionate way. None of us are big phone call people, we communicate mostly via text, and I thought texts would be good, too, so they could have space to process if they need to and not be required to act happy or surprised. I don’t want a drawn out announcement or anything but I want to be sure I’m being careful with their feelings. 
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    @aloha_mama text for sure
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    @aloha_mama text should be fine. Definitely easier to process and take the time they need to respond. 
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    @doxiemoxie212 @hoosiermamajayden @Boobopgirl Thank you, I’ll definitely text, just have to think now about how to word it. I’ll probably just follow what @Boobopgirl said, nothing fancy, just short and sweet.
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    @aloha_mama this is so thoughtful of you! I would just keep it short and sweet, like you said. Maybe something like, hey I know you are grieving, and I see you. I want to give you a heads up that I'm expecting. I totally understand if you need a little space to process, just want to share that with you and know that I love you.

    I think acknowledging that it might be hard for them, and also letting them know you will be okay if they need time to process how they feel about it, shows that you care. After my miscarriages I took a SM break because the baby announcements were just too hard. I would have appreciated a thoughtful text like this. And I agree- text would be better than a call or in person. You're a good friend!
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    @bien-aimee Aw, thank you so much! I know I would want the same courtesy extended to me if I was in their place. And I know they’ll both be happy for me but I definitely don’t want them to feel like they need to be happy right away or all the time. I’m so sorry for your losses, thank you so much for sharing and giving me some advice.
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    Question for STM (or STM+) - if you had bad diastisis recti did you find a program you liked to help with it? 

    I’ve been really sporadic and mostly done nothing for what I think is quite bad upper diastisis recti because it just wasn’t a priority. I know it’s probably weird to think about that now that I’m already pregnant again already but I figure it’s better late than never and maybe I can repair some of it before I’m super pregnant. I’ve read good things about Every Mother but also open to other suggestions. The main thing I understand is that doing the wrong things only makes it worse so I think I need an easy to follow program.
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    @zamoraspin2 I worked with a PT. I went to her postpartum for pelvic floor and she checked me for DR and we spent a session on her showing me proper exercises that I could do on my own. 

    TTC#1 10/2016
    TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. 
    BFP finally in 12/2018

    TTC#2 06/2021
    planning FET


    "Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
    some doors are open, some roads are blocked" 

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    @zamoraspin2 I didn't, but mamastefit (like namaste but mamaste) on IG has a ton of free content on diastasis up right now. I agree a PT is best, but if you want to dip your toes in there's some great free content on IG. I also like womeninmotion on ig - she did residencies in pelvic floor, orthopedic and obstetrics. 
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    @zamoraspin2 follow getmomstrong and doc_jenmorgan. One is a PP fitness that talks specifically about your pelvic floor and DR (she had 4 fingers herself!) and the other is a pelvic floor PT
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    oh yes I love getmomstrong too!
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    @aloha_mama that is very thoughtful of you. You are an amazing friend. 

    @zamoraspin2 I suggest a PT, you can even go to them when pregnant! My personal trainer recommends it. After my first, I wanted to go to a PT but that was at the very beginning of Covid and the only girl that did it in my town left. I wasn't comfortable going into the city so I did the Our Fit Family Life program and I really liked it and highly recommend. She does DR and Pelvic floor. She is very knowledgeable and the program is easy to follow. 
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    @aloha_mama that is so very kind of you and I think your friends will truly appreciate it. It will give them time to come to terms with it and hopefully eventually be excited for you guys! I did something similar when inviting a cousin with severe infertility to my baby shower. She wrote me a letter back that she really appreciated it. A little kindness goes a long way. ❤️
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    For anyone AMA, are you getting both NIPT and NT scan? My last pregnancy I just got NIPT and then regular anatomy scan at 20ish weeks, so wasn’t sure if the NIPT kind of covers both or if both are necessary. 
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    @Ivorytower2 My midwife said since I’m doing NIPT I don’t need the NT scan. 
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    @Ivorytower2 I'm getting both, and I'm not AMA. The NT scan is the cutest of all the scans - it's the last one where you can see their whole body in the scan at once, and they look like a baby instead of a sea creature. But I'd still prefer to get NIPT (and already have the results). My OB prefers people get both - I don't know why because her clinic doesn't even do the scan so it can't even be financial lol. My OB in NYC had me do both too, and I was 29 for that pregnancy. 
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    @Ivorytower2 My OB says NIPT is a more reliable test for whether a baby is euploid or aneuploid than NT. NT can have false positives. But it can also potentially point to a wider spectrum of problems than just aneuploidy. Putting in spoiler some triggering stuff a family member went through with NT.

    I have a close family member who had an abnormal result on an NT scan with her baby. Baby also seemed to have an anatomy complication. They did an amnio and basically tons and tons of tests and at the end they said probably baby was ok but they couldn’t be totally sure (he had a rare gene mutation but my family member was discovered to have the same gene mutation). He was born totally fine but it was a very stressful time. My family member said she would have done it over the same way because there were some terrible diagnoses on the table that would have caused them to make a termination. 

    I actually don’t know yet for these two (am 39). I definitely want to do NIPT (even though we know the twins came from one PGT normal embryo) and we did it with DS2 (also from a PGT normal embryo). My OB didn’t recommend it with DS2. Our Baby B has an unusually large yolk sac which is a soft marker for genetic issues. Also as identical twins they’re at higher risk for congenital issues which I think we might get an early clue of with NT? I am going to ask my OB and the high risk doctors what they recommend when we see them.
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