Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Random Thread
Edit - As a plus sized woman, I can say that!
We are fortunate enough to have family nearby, but do you have a neighbor you could ask? Or maybe even a coworker?
Edit - This could be interesting. Now we have to quarantine the last two weeks before either your EDD or scheduled delivery date. I guess SO will finally get to telework.
Although... we could get some legislation passed that helps offset the costs of childcare in the US. Biden has proposed a tax break of 8k per kid. Fingers crossed hard for that!
We will ask my MIL or mom to come stay with my older son when we are in the hospital. We've already talked to my mom about it (not my MIL yet) However, they are both pretty far away (about 3 and 6 hours respectively) so they won't be able to show up immediately. I know I'm going to hem and haw about when to ask them to come when labor seems to be approaching. I don't want to wait too long and have them not be able to make it but I don't want to raise a false alarm either. We should probably ask someone local to be back-up if we need it. It's just tough with covid.
% of my day doing actual work -- 10
% of my day eating, thinking about eating, and looking at nurseries on Pinterest/shopping for baby stuff--- 90
Tell me I'm not alone here.
@kadeephd you’re not alone. I don’t “work” but I’d say the 10% is accurate for my normal sahm stuff. I obviously still do the kid duties but the extras like cleaning, cooking, etc. have really slacked. I’m all about snacking and baby planning. I’m relieved I’m not the only one already baby shopping.
@forevertired glad all is well! We had my mom flying out for my second at 39 weeks. At my 28 week appointment I was 2cm dilated and my OB didn't think I'd make it to my next appointment (which would have been before my mom got there). I ended up going longer but we had friends as a backup (downstairs neighbor with grown child and if we needed it, neighbor about 20 mins away with a daughter 2 months older than DD1). But my brother and SIL are in the same boat now (due 3 weeks before me). They are a 13 hour drive from us and almost cross-country from SIL's family. My mom might be able to go down there if she gets the vaccine and numbers are looking better. Honestly, the idea of having someone fly to come help seems terrifying and I'm surprised they're interested in that given the risks since they won't be vaccinated. I won't see her for 10 days when she gets back if she goes and my sister who lives with her will stay here during that time to avoid any potential covid she might have gotten during travel. There son is in daycare and they seem to have a lot of friends but no one they're in a bubble with (we had one family in a bubble with us and would have asked them) so they're having a hard time figuring out a backup which they'll need even if my mom can go down b/c she can't even go for a full week. My mom has been lucky enough to be around (although not in the room) for all 3 of her grandchildren being born despite having to fly until this pregnancy of mine.
This thread over the weekend reminded me I needed to reach out about daycare for my older two (we're dealing with them at home right now). DD1 is already so excited to go back to school but it's not happening until September. I need to schedule a tour but this place looks like it'll be great for both girls and I can send this baby eventually, too. I'm hoping to only have a few months of 3 in daycare before DD1 starts kindergarten. Pros and cons to an August birthday but less money overall in childcare is nice. We're not planning to red shirt her. The money we're saving now having them home will help in the meantime. I've mentioned this a few times but we're paying my sister to nanny the girls this summer so I can have my maternity leave with baby and we and we can spend most of the summer at the lake.
Also, these newborn clothes are sooooo tiny!! Squeeeeee :-D
@juliebird6 I can't wait to get some clothes!