Haha @aisukurimsarang Today two separate women asked me when I was due and when DH and I got in the car I was like, I guess I officially look pregnant and not just fat! TWO people asked when I was due! I feel like you have to be really sure to ask someone or else it can be very awkward haha.
I got an unplanned hospital tour last night, kind of. I realized as I was going to sleep that I wasn’t feeling any movement and it was her usual party time. Thinking back, I hadn’t felt much since around noon and usually she’s a pretty active baby, at all hours. So after about an hour and a half of trying different positions, eating ice cream, moving, laying, poking, prodding, and playing music, I called my ob. He said to go in to L&D, so I got there around 1:45. Luckily, after about half an hour of being hooked up she finally was back to her normal self and was kicking all over the place. Figures. So, she’s all good, and on the plus side I got to see where to go. I was relieved how quiet everything was, especially since the after hours entry is through the ER. They didn’t have anyone in the hallway I went through even though it was set up and prepped with 20-30 seats as a waiting area. I got home just after 4 so I’m completely exhausted today, but trying to focus on the positives like the fact that she’s fine and now I know more about the hospital. It was kind of freaky going by myself though, and reminded me that we don’t have any plan yet on DH going with me since DS can’t go and we don’t have any local family to stay with him. Has anyone else figured out a plan for their older siblings while they’re at the hospital?
Ughhhhh @juliebird6 I'm so sorry! Totally with ya tho, multiple drop offs is so not worth it haha!! And our #1 missed the cutoff too - she's an early Sept bday and cutoff here is 9/1!! While I'm kind of glad we didn't have to deal with kinder this year because of covid, we've thought about it many many times that it's a full additional year of daycare/preschool!!
I’m also starting to stress about daycare. We will have three of them in care until fall 2022 and then it goes down to just 2. But at the cheapest, we are looking at $3k a month for childcare. At the most expensive I’m willing to accept, it will by 3,600. It’s so crazy. I know when they are all out we will have other expenses related to older kids, but man that will be so nice. We also have never started a baby in daycare. We have always been able to make a nanny work in our budget. However, with covid and current expectations, nanny’s want at least $20 an hour where we live. That would put us at $5k a month for all 3 which is out of the question (I would keep my older two in school bc they love it). We went on one tour last week and have two more lined up for this week. Praying one of them feels right.
@forevertired so glad everything turned out ok!! I've been there before and that's stressful! We are fortunate enough to have family nearby, but do you have a neighbor you could ask? Or maybe even a coworker?
@forevertired, our hospitals current guideline is no visitors. I'm allowed a support person and to designate a back up during labor. So can bunk with me in the room. I'm already panicking. DS2 will be 14.5mos at the time. I told SO I'd rather have him with us. But, if he can't go, he can't go. He'll stay with my mom. We both agree he cannot stay with NMIL. Her house is glass glass glass everywhere!
Edit - This could be interesting. Now we have to quarantine the last two weeks before either your EDD or scheduled delivery date. I guess SO will finally get to telework.
Daycare costs are insane. We have very reasonably priced care for our area and it's $300 per week. $600 per week is really going to hurt. My PhD stipend will not even come close to paying for the costs of 2 in daycare. We'll be in the red for a year. We can dip into savings and be OK for that time but it definitely puts pressure on me to finish and find a job.
Although... we could get some legislation passed that helps offset the costs of childcare in the US. Biden has proposed a tax break of 8k per kid. Fingers crossed hard for that!
@kadeephd that would be nice! We can't even claim child care costs on our taxes because we file separately for student loan purposes. They take away pretty much all perks if you file separately, so who knows if we would even qualify for the tax break if it were an option.
@bbrahmbhatt, why can't one of you claim the child care costs? SO and I file separately as needed, which ever one of us claims the kids that year claims the child care tax.
We had to change our childcare when number three came due to the extreme cost. We now have someone who lives-in, and it is a flat weekly rate and that’s probably the only reason we are having number four. Daycare is ridiculously expensive!
On a tax note, we have filed separately when it made financial sense to do so, and have always been able to both claim $2.5k of childcare expenses each via FSA. No idea how it actually works, but we’ve never had any issues.
@runsoncoffee thanks! We have a neighbor I’d ask to watch him in an emergency but I wouldn’t want to for an extended amount of time. She just had a baby 6 weeks ago and she has a 3 year old, plus she’s working (teacher doing remote teaching). I used to have several friends with kids his age that we’d meet up with weekly who I probably could have asked, but with Covid we’ve isolated and at that point it will have been a year since they’ve seen him in person. He’s on the spectrum so his needs can be pretty demanding, especially for anyone who doesn’t know him well.
@aisukurimsarang I wish kids were exempt from the “no visitors” policies. They’re part of the same household anyway. Yay for the telework at the end!
@forevertired Scary about your ER visit but glad everything is fine.
We will ask my MIL or mom to come stay with my older son when we are in the hospital. We've already talked to my mom about it (not my MIL yet) However, they are both pretty far away (about 3 and 6 hours respectively) so they won't be able to show up immediately. I know I'm going to hem and haw about when to ask them to come when labor seems to be approaching. I don't want to wait too long and have them not be able to make it but I don't want to raise a false alarm either. We should probably ask someone local to be back-up if we need it. It's just tough with covid.
@kadeephd my neighbor had me and one other backup to watch her son for a short time until her mom could get here. It’s tough with Covid still, but a shorter exposure and something I was willing to wear a mask for, knowing it would only be a few hours max.
@forevertired I’m sorry for the scare! I’m glad everything is okay though. ❤️ We’ve made tentative plans but haven’t actually asked anyone about them yet. Our preferred plan is that we have time to let a set of grandparents get here - they both live 30 minutes away. If things happen fast and we find ourselves having to leave too quickly, we have 3 families from church that live very close to us, like a minute or two away. So we figured we’d call them to come stay with the girls for however long it takes for some grandparents to get here.
@bbrahmbhatt, we fall into a loophole, so that could be it. We are recognized as married under Texas law, but informally. Until we register the marriage, it's kind of like Schroederingers marriage. We both are and aren't at the same time.
random post - I’ve had such terrible low back pain tonight, like I can’t walk or sit up, it’s hard to even get up from the toilet I’ve tried taking an epsom salt bath, tried extra strength Tylenol, tried ice, tried heating pad. Nothing is helping and I’m in so much pain. Any other suggestions?
@theblondebump I’d call your doctor and ask. I would think anything ongoing that Tylenol isn’t helping may be something they want to check. I say that after just getting home from L&D for the second day in a row, this time because I have a kidney stone. And even with that they recommended Tylenol, and she said I could take Motrin until 28 weeks.
Ugh kidney stone sounds awful, sorry! @forevertired yes, I figured if it still hurts this much tomorrow I will give them a call buttttt in the meantime I feel like I will be getting zero sleep tonight
@theblondebump I would call to Rule anything major out. With DS1, he was so heavy and upfront, it put huge strain on my hips and lower back. I felt the pain all the way through my thighs. Lying on my side with a pillow between my knees, and one at my back made a huge difference. Plus I have a firm mattress and that seems to provide support.
Had to wait until my doctors office opened at 8:30 and then I called. She called in a prescription for flexiril and DH just went to go pick it up. Really hoping that helps! I am basically paralyzed in bed currently. But literally any position I try to sit or lay in is painful. Hoping this brings relief or, at the very least, knocks me out so I can rest without feeling it.
@kadeephd you’re not alone. I don’t “work” but I’d say the 10% is accurate for my normal sahm stuff. I obviously still do the kid duties but the extras like cleaning, cooking, etc. have really slacked. I’m all about snacking and baby planning. I’m relieved I’m not the only one already baby shopping.
Today, I broke my own rule and put on leggings and a tunic as my clothes. I have this mindset that this being my fourth baby, I an entitled to using pregnancy as an excuse not to wear real clothes anymore.
@Serenamarr if you haven't figured out your moving situation, we had to call a few moving companies but we got help for a couple of hours. I think it was college bound movers or something so it was a formal moving company. Many of them do loading/unloading with the prevalence of containers now.
@forevertired glad all is well! We had my mom flying out for my second at 39 weeks. At my 28 week appointment I was 2cm dilated and my OB didn't think I'd make it to my next appointment (which would have been before my mom got there). I ended up going longer but we had friends as a backup (downstairs neighbor with grown child and if we needed it, neighbor about 20 mins away with a daughter 2 months older than DD1). But my brother and SIL are in the same boat now (due 3 weeks before me). They are a 13 hour drive from us and almost cross-country from SIL's family. My mom might be able to go down there if she gets the vaccine and numbers are looking better. Honestly, the idea of having someone fly to come help seems terrifying and I'm surprised they're interested in that given the risks since they won't be vaccinated. I won't see her for 10 days when she gets back if she goes and my sister who lives with her will stay here during that time to avoid any potential covid she might have gotten during travel. There son is in daycare and they seem to have a lot of friends but no one they're in a bubble with (we had one family in a bubble with us and would have asked them) so they're having a hard time figuring out a backup which they'll need even if my mom can go down b/c she can't even go for a full week. My mom has been lucky enough to be around (although not in the room) for all 3 of her grandchildren being born despite having to fly until this pregnancy of mine.
This thread over the weekend reminded me I needed to reach out about daycare for my older two (we're dealing with them at home right now). DD1 is already so excited to go back to school but it's not happening until September. I need to schedule a tour but this place looks like it'll be great for both girls and I can send this baby eventually, too. I'm hoping to only have a few months of 3 in daycare before DD1 starts kindergarten. Pros and cons to an August birthday but less money overall in childcare is nice. We're not planning to red shirt her. The money we're saving now having them home will help in the meantime. I've mentioned this a few times but we're paying my sister to nanny the girls this summer so I can have my maternity leave with baby and we and we can spend most of the summer at the lake.
@kadeephd totally not alone! I’m trying to hold myself back on doing a whole lot of shopping right now, but Pinterest and I have been spending a lot of time together lately 😁
@aisukurimsarang Pregnancy + pandemic is a totally valid excuse not to wear real clothes IMO. I have four pairs of black maternity leggings and I wear them just about every day. I did just order some maternity "jeggings" to up my game occassionally I have some maternity jeans too but they are just not that comfortable!
@kadeephd definitely not alone! That sounds like about like the breakdown of my day. I've already eaten 2 of the snacks I packed for the day, and I will probably go pinteresting next lol.
@kadeephd haha I have def been on the shopping & Pinterest train! This past week, I bought all of the things I needed to stock the baby’s changing table (diapers, wipes, etc) and all of the things I need for my hospital bag and recovery (nursing clothes, robe, toiletries for hospital, frida mom stuff, long phone charger cord, etc.).
You ladies are seriously making me feel better about all of the shopping I’ve been doing. I think the pandemic and not shopping in person has me extra paranoid about being prepared. Especially since shipping here is taking forever. Even prime doesn’t get here in 2 days anymore, and target is consistently 5-10 days instead of 2.
@theblondebump it kind of sounds like it could be sciatica?? I hope it's feeling a little better by now. I was in SO MUCH pain dealing with sciatica about a month ago. Literal tears daiIy. It randomly let up. Anyway heat, ice, and stretching are what I did. If you look up sciatica stretches you could at least try? My next step was going to be looking into a prenatal chiropractor.
Yes @runsoncoffee - totally sciatica... the pain radiates through my butt and down my left left, and just exacerbated by the fact that I have two herniated discs in my lumbar spine (from pre-pregnancy). Finally feeling a little bit of relief today from the muscle relaxers, the heat patches I’ve been using and just resting, but ugh still experiencing too much pain to really move much
@theblondebump I had the worst sciatica with my first pregnancy yoga and laying on a tennis ball helped me the most, and laying flat and having my husband pull gently on my feet. Hope you find some more relief ❤️
Re: Random Thread
Edit - As a plus sized woman, I can say that!
We are fortunate enough to have family nearby, but do you have a neighbor you could ask? Or maybe even a coworker?
Edit - This could be interesting. Now we have to quarantine the last two weeks before either your EDD or scheduled delivery date. I guess SO will finally get to telework.
Although... we could get some legislation passed that helps offset the costs of childcare in the US. Biden has proposed a tax break of 8k per kid. Fingers crossed hard for that!
We will ask my MIL or mom to come stay with my older son when we are in the hospital. We've already talked to my mom about it (not my MIL yet) However, they are both pretty far away (about 3 and 6 hours respectively) so they won't be able to show up immediately. I know I'm going to hem and haw about when to ask them to come when labor seems to be approaching. I don't want to wait too long and have them not be able to make it but I don't want to raise a false alarm either. We should probably ask someone local to be back-up if we need it. It's just tough with covid.
% of my day doing actual work -- 10
% of my day eating, thinking about eating, and looking at nurseries on Pinterest/shopping for baby stuff--- 90
Tell me I'm not alone here.
@kadeephd you’re not alone. I don’t “work” but I’d say the 10% is accurate for my normal sahm stuff. I obviously still do the kid duties but the extras like cleaning, cooking, etc. have really slacked. I’m all about snacking and baby planning. I’m relieved I’m not the only one already baby shopping.
@forevertired glad all is well! We had my mom flying out for my second at 39 weeks. At my 28 week appointment I was 2cm dilated and my OB didn't think I'd make it to my next appointment (which would have been before my mom got there). I ended up going longer but we had friends as a backup (downstairs neighbor with grown child and if we needed it, neighbor about 20 mins away with a daughter 2 months older than DD1). But my brother and SIL are in the same boat now (due 3 weeks before me). They are a 13 hour drive from us and almost cross-country from SIL's family. My mom might be able to go down there if she gets the vaccine and numbers are looking better. Honestly, the idea of having someone fly to come help seems terrifying and I'm surprised they're interested in that given the risks since they won't be vaccinated. I won't see her for 10 days when she gets back if she goes and my sister who lives with her will stay here during that time to avoid any potential covid she might have gotten during travel. There son is in daycare and they seem to have a lot of friends but no one they're in a bubble with (we had one family in a bubble with us and would have asked them) so they're having a hard time figuring out a backup which they'll need even if my mom can go down b/c she can't even go for a full week. My mom has been lucky enough to be around (although not in the room) for all 3 of her grandchildren being born despite having to fly until this pregnancy of mine.
This thread over the weekend reminded me I needed to reach out about daycare for my older two (we're dealing with them at home right now). DD1 is already so excited to go back to school but it's not happening until September. I need to schedule a tour but this place looks like it'll be great for both girls and I can send this baby eventually, too. I'm hoping to only have a few months of 3 in daycare before DD1 starts kindergarten. Pros and cons to an August birthday but less money overall in childcare is nice. We're not planning to red shirt her. The money we're saving now having them home will help in the meantime. I've mentioned this a few times but we're paying my sister to nanny the girls this summer so I can have my maternity leave with baby and we and we can spend most of the summer at the lake.
Also, these newborn clothes are sooooo tiny!! Squeeeeee :-D
@juliebird6 I can't wait to get some clothes!