@gh1219 think of it as the babies diaper bag, not you or your DH's diaper bag. If you have 2 bags, you will need 2 extra sets of everything which is a waste in the long run. Just make sure you pick a bag thou both feel comfortable carrying, our current once is a dark grey backpack style that can clip onto the stroller.
@gh1219 my vote is for one diaper bag. But I do want to point out that having a separate bag/tote for daycare makes sense. You don't leave a fully stocked diaper bag there - but you'll need some type of bag to bring things in and take things home. Some days you'll want to bring a whole sleeve of diapers in or a package of wipes. Some days you need to bring home 3 dirty outfits.
Okay this may be TMI, but is waxing or shaving better during pregnancy?
Pre-quarantine, I usually get monthly brazilian waxes. I'm trying to decide if I should just bite the bullet and start shaving again, or hold out until my salon is able to open again. Is shaving too difficult during pregnancy? Is waxing just too painful during pregnancy? Need advice!
@feather_heather I shaved as long as I could with DS and eventually had DH take over with a trimmer when needed. It gets to a point where it's pretty impossible. If you're comfortable with waxing and it doesn't get too painful I would just keep that up.
@gh1219 I think 1 vs 2 bags depends on your use case and your purse. So, my diaper bag also housed my wallet, my pp & menstrual pads, snacks for me, hand pump, etc, and I didn't carry a purse. So, DH also has a bag, that we call the go bag, and it is more of a baby essential only super streamlined shoulder bag. And the go bag works great with baby wearing on a toddler hike, where the diaper purse would be unwieldy. I personally prefer more small bags that are purpose specific (pool/zoo, library/coffee shop, hiking/playdate) to one big bottomless diaper bag. I am also a shm and exclusively bf, so I don't need to transport bottles/formula. I don't know that they have to be "diaper bag" bags though, he might be content with an small emergency back up backpack in his vehicle.
@feather_heather, I didn't find pregnancy Brazilian to be much different from my non-pregnancy Brazilians, though I couldn't do my usual Advil 30 min before.
Any other moms had a late preterm baby? I’ll be delivering between 36 and 38 weeks for sure. My son was 7lbs at 37+6, and was in premie for awhile, then in new born. I remember we hit the 0-3 /3m right around 3m - we had so little of the premie / nb ( since everyone says to buy bigger) he wore what little we had plain out. So that’s the one size we absolutely need to rebuy - everything else will be more gender preference, but my son dresses pretty neutral even at 4.
Long ramble to ask - how much will I need of the basics in smaller sizes do you think? I’m only going to buy sleepers and onsies (and like one or two things that are just cute)
@the_road_to_oz I had a 5lb 5oz baby at 37 weeks. He was in NB diapers and clothes for a few months. I’d say 10 sleepers and 10 onesies? Depends on how much you’ll be doing laundry and whether or not the baby is a spitter. We never bought any preemie, he was just in NB that was a bit big for a few weeks.
I think I am going to buy a handful of newborn things and go from there. My mom can always pop out and get more clothes if we have a tiny babe. I was originally worried about having a big baby, but my OB informed me that south Asian babies are almost always small? Who knew! Praying for a very healthy full term 7 and something pound baby and an easy vaginal delivery haha.... One can always hope!
@the_road_to_oz My first was born at 36 weeks and was also in newborn (we did not buy any preemie, just wore newborn big for awhile) for a few months. We bought more after birth (Carter's and Target runs) and also borrowed some from friends. I would buy a bit now and plan to buy more then if you need it.
@the_road_to_oz my 1st was born at 36 weeks 1 day, in the 6# range After he was born we bought him 1 preemie outfit for going out, otherwise he wore sleepers and these long gown things till he grew. New born diapers. Edited to add: my 2 9# range babies also started out in newborn diapers, but wore newborn and 0-3 months clothes. The newborn diapers have a notch for the umbilical cord and are helpful the 1st 2 weeks or so
@babymakes9 sleepers and onesies are my plan! I figure a holiday outfit other than that - and she can go out in sleepers. She would be 39 weeks gestational, two weeks old, at Christmas. 10 does seem like a good number. @karmba I think we have like... two? premie onsies and sleepers left.... I think I remember Carters was HUGE on the little sizes, so he needed premie for over a month (Carters is the only store in town, everything else is an hour away) @gingkomama I am trying to plan assuming I CAN'T get out. I ended up hospitalized for three weeks after the birth of my son, and we are in Vermont, so the weather in Dec (if I am home) can be pretty dicey. Plus a potential second wave of Covid... I am just trying to assume we'll be stuck with what we have after the birth.
I just looked through my pictures with my son, he was definitely in preemie for about a month, then NB / 0-3 until he was four, almost five months. So I think I will aim for 5 sleepers and 5 onsies in P (buying three more) and get a couple multi packs of newborn onsies (Just the plain white gerber basics) and aim for 15 sleepers in NB total. I think I ended up keeping like 5 - so that means buying some cheap onsies and 10 sleepers. That seems very do-able. I get a little panicky if the sleepers are too big and squish up into their face... PPA hit me pretty hard last time. Then we are into the size I have everything I would NEED for going forward, and I can just buy cute girly thing that I WANT without worrying about actually clothing her. We buy most everything used, so that helps too.
Okay so after a consult with a car seat “expert” we have narrowed our choices down to either the Nuna Pipa & the Clek Liing infant seats - a lot of variables went into this including how they fit into our cars, stroller, what features are important to us, etc etc . Both fit every category and the Clek Liing has a slightly more breathable fabric. We are also able to take home samples of these to mess around with to test functionality which we will do. But Q for BTDT moms: anyone totally love or hate either of these & what are the reasons why?
@the_road_to_oz my son was 37 weeks and 7# and daughter 38 weeks and 8lb10oz so it’s hard to say! My son wore newborn for awhile and daughter went right to 0-3 mo. We only did sleepers and onesies also. Also we barely wore nb diapers and stocked up on more size 1.
@shelmcclel no, the infant seat we only used for 6 months. We went for inexpensive & lightweight. Graco snugride 30. We used our convertibles for over 3 years. Those we invested more in.
@willashbaby@shelmcclel we went cheaper too, with Britax b-safe. DD was in it for almost 1 year, and then we went to a Britax Boulevard Convertable.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@the_road_to_oz My kids were all three on the small side (5#3oz- 6#1oz) despite being about 39 weeks. I just grow them small, but healthy thank goodness! All of them wore NB size until 2-3 months, so I am planning on having about 10 sleepers and 10 onesies along with some leggings to put on over them when we have to go out. I’m also planning on getting a couple of nicer outfits for Christmas since she will probably be between 1 and 2 weeks old. My son went through 3 outfits on his first Christmas!
@shelmcclel I don’t have experience with either of those models, but I used my infant seat for closer to a year since my kids were smaller. For me, other than safety of course, the top consideration is how easy is it to transfer it in and out of the car and the stroller, so I don’t wake a sleeping baby. If you can, test to see if one of those models is easier for you.
@bearmomma1 we went britax for those as well, we had to buy FOUR so we got the Britax Roundabouts. He's small so he stayed in them rear facing until he was almost 4. We only ever had to adjust them once so spending the extra on the no rethread blah blah wasn't worth it at all for us. We saved them all for #2!
We also went a bit cheaper on the infant seat. We have a Chicco keyfit, and I found a caddy stroller at a yard sale. The caddy was amazing - I lent it to a friend and I need that sucker back! I want to say we used it for about 9 months? I honestly can’t remember. DS has been in a Chicco Nextfit zip for a long time and we really like it, we just flipped him forward facing.
We decided the extended RF from the CLEK wasn't worth it to us. IWe went with a Diono, for the same purpose. Clek goes a little longer, but was a bulkier seat and the diono will get my son well past 4. My four year old is still RF, he's got about 5 inches and 10 pounds left to RF. It's still a bulky seat, but a little less so, and I like the steel frame construction, and the fact we can do three across. We had a Britax boulevard click tight and I hated it. The strap guards were uncomfortable, the straps twisted easily and the seat was heavy and hard to install. We went with a maxi cosi pria 85 for the smaller car, and have been very happy. My son just turned at age 4, 40 inches. Light, easy to install, very cushy. For the infant seat, we ordered the baby trend Ally 35. I liked the fact it comes with a foot muff for a dec baby. You shouln't put anything on the seat that wasn't crash tested, and you can't put them in the seat in a coat or snuggler. It was also light weight, and allows for a seat belt install, so I don't have to buy a bunch of extra bases or bring one if we travel with it. We bought my son the Cosco Finale after being recommended by a car seat safety group for my parents and our back up car. $54.99 at Target, installed easily, and that lets us hand down the Maxi Cosi and my son's seat at my parents (I forget what they have, but I don't like it for ease of use) to this baby. My son will keep his Diono in our main car, and we'll buy another once it's time to give up the infant seat. He'll be FF by then, so the new baby can have the angle adjuster (you need it for RF and they are hard to come by right now)
My daughter is turning 2 in July and we're planning on turning her FF as soon as she does. She's around 30 pounds and almost 3 ft tall. She just seems so cramped facing backwards. How did y'all keep your kids RF until 4??
Anyone have any good Baby Carriers to recommend for newborn stage? I had a K'Tan, and my DD hated being in it because it was so snug and she actually didn't like to be held much. We also had the Ergobaby for when she was a bit bigger and she was much more comfortable in that. I'm thinking I'll be wearing this new babe a lot more and wondered on others experiences.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@bearmomma1 We are still rearfacing at 3+ and plan to continue for quite some time. I considered considered switching to forward facing and read some of the research and decided to wait. I think they don't mind the lack of space the way we would, and my toddler has never brought it up.
We used a ring sling and a stretchy wrap in the early days! I have a Boba wrap and am planning on using a Solly Baby wrap this time. I really liked having baby so close (and keeping baby out of the hands of others!).
@bearmomma1 we just switched DS to FF during quarantine and he's 3.5. He's still RF in my car because we've been using it less. He was going to have to switch when the baby was born because we need him FF behind the driver's seat in DH's car. I'd say let it go as long as possible! He was fine with it and for long car rides he gets his kindle.
For baby carriers, I have a Lillebaby that I really liked, it has a newborn insert and can be used at 7 lbs. I also have a Moby wrap which I never got the hang of. This time around I want to get a ring sling.
@bearmomma1 my son is 4.5 and just now weighs 32 lbs so that helped They're not really cramped up in the back anyway, they just fold their legs and sit, NBD.
@bearmomma1 what everyone else said re: the carseat. The ONLY reason we turned DS around was because he got car sick everytime we got in the car (even with dramamine) and I was terrified he would choke. He was 3 when we turned him otherwise he he would still be rear facing now.
And for new born carriers we loved our ring sling! There was a learning curve as far as getting a good fit but once we did we used it all the time.
Any must haves for an infant themed first aid kit? I'm making one for my friend and for myself (both ftm!)
I got: Plastic caddy with drawers kind of like a tackle box, Multi size bandaid, butterfly bandages, cotton wipes, cotton wraps, medical tape, no pain baby neosporin spray, hydrogen peroxide, alcohol wipes, calamine lotion, tylenol, motrin, gas ease drops, nasal saline spray, snot sucker (freida), windis (freida), petroleum jelly for babies, liquid medicine measurer and syringe, pacifier liquid medicine administrator, rectal thermometer, forehead/ear thermometer, baby nail clippers/Emory boards, and finally the book "my child is sick".
@gh1219 tweezers for splinters or ticks. Age/weight based doses printed large and together on one card on the top for all medicines included ie; 24lb = 5ml Tylenol OR 1.875ml Motrin. Card can also include allergens for your kiddo (obviously added later). Maybe a small penlight for looking in ears, or reading labels in the dark.
Has anyone given birth in an upright position? I keep reading it's literally 'better' but like 60% of women in the US lay down. Why was this or why was this not your experience?
@maisas It's hard to be upright with an epidural I had one friend who delivered at a hospital with a birthing stool, more upright for sure. These are all questions for your doc/hospital to see what they're able to handle.
@maisas the problem is the epidural. Once you get that baby it’s like impossible to sit upright and when your cramps are so intense it’s hard to force yourself up when all you want to do is get in the fetal position
@maisas I think a lot of it is what hospitals have to offer. And how labor is progreses along with the choice of medications the mother chooses. At our hospital, their is one tub, 2 or 3 bouncy balls, and the option of a shower, but if fetal monitoring is necessary all those options disappear. In my experience, Without an epidural, you're kind of at a 45 degree angle, with your but almost off the bed with your dh/so and nurses holding your legs out and back as far as they can to help open your hips.
@maisas I did not, but in retrospect I wish I would have been on my hands and knees. I started having the urge to push on hands and knees, the. Was switched rooms and was so exhausted (it had been 39ish hours) that I just went on my back and didn't think about it. I was inclined up on the bed and pulled on a sheet attached to a squatting bar. I did not have an epidural so I'm sure I could have done hands and knees and I think it would have been productive pushing. It's something I plan to discuss with my doula and my provider this time, so they have me switch positions while pushing.
I definitely could not have pushed in a full upright position at that point because I was so tired. I couldn't have supported myself.
If you're interested in various pushing positions, definitely talk about it with your team beforehand!
Re: Ask a BTDT Mom
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
Pre-quarantine, I usually get monthly brazilian waxes. I'm trying to decide if I should just bite the bullet and start shaving again, or hold out until my salon is able to open again. Is shaving too difficult during pregnancy? Is waxing just too painful during pregnancy? Need advice!
@feather_heather, I didn't find pregnancy Brazilian to be much different from my non-pregnancy Brazilians, though I couldn't do my usual Advil 30 min before.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
Edited to add: my 2 9# range babies also started out in newborn diapers, but wore newborn and 0-3 months clothes. The newborn diapers have a notch for the umbilical cord and are helpful the 1st 2 weeks or so
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
@karmba I think we have like... two? premie onsies and sleepers left.... I think I remember Carters was HUGE on the little sizes, so he needed premie for over a month (Carters is the only store in town, everything else is an hour away)
@gingkomama I am trying to plan assuming I CAN'T get out.
I just looked through my pictures with my son, he was definitely in preemie for about a month, then NB / 0-3 until he was four, almost five months. So I think I will aim for 5 sleepers and 5 onsies in P (buying three more) and get a couple multi packs of newborn onsies (Just the plain white gerber basics) and aim for 15 sleepers in NB total. I think I ended up keeping like 5 - so that means buying some cheap onsies and 10 sleepers. That seems very do-able.
I get a little panicky if the sleepers are too big and squish up into their face... PPA hit me pretty hard last time.
Then we are into the size I have everything I would NEED for going forward, and I can just buy cute girly thing that I WANT without worrying about actually clothing her.
We buy most everything used, so that helps too.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@shelmcclel I don’t have experience with either of those models, but I used my infant seat for closer to a year since my kids were smaller. For me, other than safety of course, the top consideration is how easy is it to transfer it in and out of the car and the stroller, so I don’t wake a sleeping baby. If you can, test to see if one of those models is easier for you.
We had a Britax boulevard click tight and I hated it. The strap guards were uncomfortable, the straps twisted easily and the seat was heavy and hard to install. We went with a maxi cosi pria 85 for the smaller car, and have been very happy. My son just turned at age 4, 40 inches. Light, easy to install, very cushy.
For the infant seat, we ordered the baby trend Ally 35. I liked the fact it comes with a foot muff for a dec baby. You shouln't put anything on the seat that wasn't crash tested, and you can't put them in the seat in a coat or snuggler. It was also light weight, and allows for a seat belt install, so I don't have to buy a bunch of extra bases or bring one if we travel with it.
We bought my son the Cosco Finale after being recommended by a car seat safety group for my parents and our back up car. $54.99 at Target, installed easily, and that lets us hand down the Maxi Cosi and my son's seat at my parents (I forget what they have, but I don't like it for ease of use) to this baby. My son will keep his Diono in our main car, and we'll buy another once it's time to give up the infant seat. He'll be FF by then, so the new baby can have the angle adjuster (you need it for RF and they are hard to come by right now)
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
We used a ring sling and a stretchy wrap in the early days! I have a Boba wrap and am planning on using a Solly Baby wrap this time. I really liked having baby so close (and keeping baby out of the hands of others!).
For baby carriers, I have a Lillebaby that I really liked, it has a newborn insert and can be used at 7 lbs. I also have a Moby wrap which I never got the hang of. This time around I want to get a ring sling.
And for new born carriers we loved our ring sling! There was a learning curve as far as getting a good fit but once we did we used it all the time.
I got:
Plastic caddy with drawers kind of like a tackle box,
Multi size bandaid, butterfly bandages, cotton wipes, cotton wraps, medical tape, no pain baby neosporin spray, hydrogen peroxide, alcohol wipes, calamine lotion, tylenol, motrin, gas ease drops, nasal saline spray, snot sucker (freida), windis (freida), petroleum jelly for babies, liquid medicine measurer and syringe, pacifier liquid medicine administrator, rectal thermometer, forehead/ear thermometer, baby nail clippers/Emory boards, and finally the book "my child is sick".
Anything I'm missing?
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
I definitely could not have pushed in a full upright position at that point because I was so tired. I couldn't have supported myself.
If you're interested in various pushing positions, definitely talk about it with your team beforehand!
@gingkomama
Thanks for both of your responses! I was just nervous that only birthing centers might "let" you do anything upright. 39 hours of labor though? 😭