Ask a BTDT Mom

karmba

@dreamscapes_ I have a lillebaby all seasons and I’m a size 20.  I didn’t have any issues with it and DH was able to wear it as well.  Right now it might be hard to find, but if you look for a local baby wearing group a lot of them will have carriers that you can try out.

maisas

@coldlife2 Oh wow thats awesome - is that particular position more of a birthing center thing? I will be giving birth at a hospital. My idea so far is that I do not want an epidural. I do not want my feet up in the stirrups. I do NOT want someone coaching me to push.

With that said any mamas use a doula? Id be okay with a DOULA guiding me but not someone telling me to hold my breath and push. Anyone with this experience was it worth it to you?

nmadjeski

@dobiemom11 We have a few Tula carriers and they are awesome. Super comfortable and easy to adjust. I'm short and heavy, especially in the mid section and probably have a good 100 lbs on SO and we have no problem switching. I would see if you have a local FB babywraring group and they may have a lending library that you could try some out in. 

@dreamscapes_ I suggest Tula. SO and I both have back issues and the Tula is comfortable for both of us. They even have a lumbar support that you can add to it if needed. Also I'm plus sized like you and still have room to go in the Tula.

babymakes9

@dobiemom11 my favorite carrier is baby Bjorn,  my husband uses a lilliebaby it is the only one large enough for him to use.  (He's 6'5")

coldlife2

maisas said:

@coldlife2 Oh wow thats awesome - is that particular position more of a birthing center thing? I will be giving birth at a hospital. My idea so far is that I do not want an epidural. I do not want my feet up in the stirrups. I do NOT want someone coaching me to push.

I would say probably more common in birthing centers. You'd have to ask your hospital if they have that equipment available or what they allow as far as freedom of movement. From what I've heard, hospitals can vary on this. 

If they don't have a stool and you don't want to/can't bring one, you can always kneel on the floor. I know someone (home birth) who delivered like that - kneeling with her arms, head and part of her torso resting on the bed. 

willashbaby

@dreamscapes_ I used my Becco Gemini with DS at over 300 with no problems. I found it very supportive and I can still fit my 4YO in it much to his occasional joy    I will say we never used it a ton though, he didn't want to be in a carrier and preferred to be out and about. 

jbal918

@dreamscapes_ We have a Lilliebaby All Seasons and DS loved it. I originally had some crappy little one from Babies R Us (I miss that store!) but it was strictly for infants. 

thankfullyamama

Okay I want honest opinions on baby sleeping in same room in bassinet vs sleeping in crib in own room right away!

gingkomama

@tryingktogku I think it's up to you. My feeling is that a pretty big change for baby to go from never being alone (always safe and warm inside mama) to being all alone suddenly. I don't think I would like it. 🤷

bearmomma1

@tryingktogku definitely depends on what you want! It’s recommend they sleep in the same room for the first year! Used to be 6 months. We lasted 4 months with DD. When they’re super newborn they feed A LOT and need to be changed A LOT so it’s easier, in my opinion, to have them right next to you with all the things you’ll need. And 

karmba

@tryingktogku DS slept in a pack & play in our room until he was only waking up twice a night.  It was just so much easier to get up and nurse him while he was in the same room.  DH didn't get up with him at all because I was nursing and DH was working full-time.  If I was formula feeding, I think DS would have been in his room a lot sooner because that's more involved in the middle of the night and we would have rotated.

luckypenny11

@tryingktogku DD slept in the same room with us for the first ~5 months.  I think she would've been fine in her crib before then, but I felt anxious without her close by for a lot longer than I would've guessed.  That being said, one of my close friends had her first sleep in his nursery from day 1 and felt like she was better rested that way.  If you have the flexibility to set up a nursery and have a bassinet in your room, I'd say prepare for both and then do what feels right for YOU .

willashbaby

I had to go back to work 6 weeks after I had DS. We put him in his own room and crib at two weeks. We followed the baby coach for sleep training. By 11 weeks he was through the night and he has never slept my bed. It all depends on lifestyle and what you need IMO. DH and I needed sleep to do our jobs.  

readermom1

@tryingktogku It totally depends on what works best for you. I like having both. Baby rooms with us in a pack and play for the first months, but still sleeps in the crib at nap time. It’s a quieter room for naps, and I’ve never had a problem when we were ready to move baby to the nursery full time. How long each baby stayed in our room varied based on how loud a sleeper they were and if they were disturbed by my DH’s snoring!

hham10

@tryingktogku I’ll be honest. My two oldest went almost right into their rooms maybe on day 2. Baby 3 slept in a little nook area off of our room (diff house) until 12 weeks. I could never sleep listening to all of the grunting and moving. Baby 4 we will attempt in room for a bit again but it will probably be a similar situation. 

jchpg

@tryingktogku DD stayed in our room over a year, but always in her own bed. I wanted to follow the recommendation of at least 6mo. Studies show it reduces the risk of SIDS up to 50%, which was enough for me to do it. I agree babies are loud and it wasn’t easy, but we were lucky and she was a pretty good sleeper. We even sleep trained to get her falling asleep on her own and through the night with her in our room- and it worked (it was also a tinny apartment bedroom!).

 The choice to go over a year was due to major life events, moving countries etc.... I definitely will aim for at least 6 months with new baby, but will be flexible if we need to for our sanity. I know people who from the start had baby in it’s own room. In the end be flexible and do what works for you, you will know! 

For breast feeding having DD in a next to me basenette was AWESOME! 

dreamscapes_

Thanks for the replies on the carrier! I’ll start looking into them in a bit 😊

I had a slightly random question, though. What, if any, items did you purchase or receive that you felt ended up being kind of useless?

willashbaby

@dreamscapes_ for me it was breastfeeding pillow/nursing bras since breastfeeding ended up not working out and I exclusively pumped. 

charmedlifex3

@dreamscapes_ kinderpack offers a plus strap! I have one, I am able to use it (size 14/16 normally) so can my hubs (6'4, 275)

As far as useless items - the crib. My son went from bassinet (in our room) to pack n play (in our room) then the crib for two months and into a twin bed because he was climbing out. I wouldn't have bought a crib for two months of use, lol. 
And not uselss - but obnoxious - buy a swing with a PLUG. ours was battery operated and it was annoying, lol

dreamscapes_

@willashbaby I’ve already decided not to bother buying a nursing pillow, since none of the ones I’ve seen are shaped in a way I can really use them the way they’re intended, wrapped around. My husband was asking me what I wanted to do about feeding, and I honestly am going to just play it by ear. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@the_road_to_oz That swing sounds incredibly annoying 😳 We did get the crib, since it’s convertible and he can use it for a good long time. We also got the twin/full conversion rails already, since it’s not always on stock and I wanted to make sure it didn’t get discontinued. 

charmedlifex3

@dreascapes_ have you seen the butterfly pillows? I think I might get one of those. 
https://www.amazon.com/Infantino-Elevate-Adjustable-Nursing-Pillow/dp/B0185AH022

dreamscapes_

@the_road_to_oz I hadn’t! It’s interesting. I think I’m just going to stick with my existing body pillow, though. I have a feeling if I had that one, one or both of our cats would try to steal it as a new bed 🤣

karmba

@the_road_to_oz I was just going to suggest that pillow!  I have it, I love it and I’ve gifted it several times.  It was a recommendation from my aunt who is an L&D nurse.  It was awesome for nursing, but also helpful for bottle feeding.  And the whole thing goes straight into the washing machine instead of dealing with a pillowcase.

ETA - @dreamscapes_ I hear you on the nursing pillows not really fitting around you.  I have a boppy and I hated it.  Totally useless.  That’s why I liked the infantino thing, it sits on your lap.

gingkomama

@dreamscapes_ For us it was the highchair. We almost never used it, always preferring the Bumbo Multiseat with Tray. We still use the Bumbo daily as a booster at age 3 and are only considering changing so that the new baby can use it . 

https://www.target.com/p/bumbo-multi-infant-seat-aqua/-/A-76153622

karmba

@dreamscapes_ I forgot to answer about what we never actually used.  We had a swing, bouncer and a rock n play.  The RNP worked best for us and the swing and bouncer were rarely used.  We have more space in the house we live in now, so I'll try them both out again and I'm hoping one works out since the RNP has been thrown out.

hham10

It’s funny what some people found useless and those were some of our biggest lifelines. For example my third went into his crib at 12 weeks and he just turned 3 and is still in there! My kids loved their cribs. And I loved the boppy, swing with plug, and we constantly use our highchair!

Useless for us was the Moby wrap I honestly didn’t prefer it, changing table we really just used the pad or set it on a dresser, and we hated the bumbo and loved the sit me up chair.

thankfullyamama

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! We are going to try room sharing with naps in his own crib but are now debating between getting a halo bassinet or just using a pack and play with a bassinet for room sharing! Anyone try the halo bassinet? The snoo just isn’t something I can reasonably put money into lol event renting it’s just so expensive! 

bearmomma1

@dreamscapes_ Our Momaroo swing was totally useless. DD hated it..but I know other babies that love it! So we'll definitely try it again. The nursing pillows were hit or miss depending on what chair I was sitting on. Using a bunch of pillows usually worked best...I might look into that butterfly pillow.

@tryingktogku We used a Pack n Play with DD as we didn't end up getting a bassinet (I really wanted a Halo). And that worked out just fine! Seemed a little big for such a tiny baby at first, so we put the dock-a-tot in there for the first month or so (I know you're not supposed to). I got an Arms Reach bassinet from a neighbor so we'll be using that this time!

*edited to add: my thoughts on the Snoo are that even though it's great to help your baby sleep at first, you'll eventually have to move them out of it and they'll have to learn all over again how to sleep without the constant rocking motion. I'd rather just nip it in the bud earlier than later!

hham10

@tryingktogku my babies all hated laying flat for at least the first 8 weeks so we always started with the rnp but since that’s been recalled we’ll use the Grace DuoGlider this time around. I had tried the pack n play and crib right away with all 3 and it was impossible for us. Naps in the crib were especially hard and didn’t happen until much later. 

babymakes9

@tryingktogku most of my babies have co- slept with us for the1st year.  Then transferred to a crib in their room. 

@dreamscapes_ baby wipe warmer and bumbo seat were our 2 worst purchases. 

gingkomama

@babymakes9 I guess I should add that the Bumbo Multiseat is very different from the regular Bumbo seat. Someone passed down a regular Bumbo to us and we hated it and ended up giving it away. The Multiseat is amazing though! It has served as a highchair and a booster seat for us for years. 

bearmomma1

We didn’t use the Bumbo Multiseat much when DD was younger, but once she started eating solids we’d bring it on travel or to other people’s houses as a travel high chair. And now we use it as her booster seat at home! 

We went through DD’s baby clothes last night before we give them to BiL and it was so hard seeing all the cute outfits that brought back so many memories! It made me sad for a second that we weren’t having another girl. But then I realized we’re having opposite season babies and they couldn’t reuse many of the same clothes anyway. But still 😭😭😭 Did you guys get rid of baby clothes you can’t reuse or do you plan to keep them forever like my H wanted to 🤣🤣

hham10

@bearmomma1 we have honestly gotten rid of anything we can’t use. We chose like one sleeper from each to keep and got rid of everything else. We both hate clutter and things taking up space we aren’t using. Btw I have felt sad I wasn’t having a girl too so it’s pretty normal!

readermom1

@bearmomma1 I’m with you! I have been carefully saving my son’s clothes in case we would have another boy, and it just hurts to think that I won’t reuse them. I wish I had someone with boys younger than mine to give them to, but the boys are all older. I want to find a women’s shelter or crisis nursery instead of just dropping them at goodwill, though! This little girl will mostly be getting new clothes for a while at least because her sisters were both spring babies, but some of them I can reuse.

autumn87654321

@readermom1 it might be worth posting something on Facebook about the extra baby stuff you have. My husbands cousin made a post about some baby stuff for free/sale (before we announced our pregnancy)  and now we have a bunch of clothes, a electric swing thing, changing table, co-sleeper.. 

since you’re having another babe you obviously won’t be getting rid of all that stuff, but if it had just been a bunch of clothes we’d certainly be excited about that too! 

dobiemom11

@readermom1. I know that they have a big consignment sale once a year near us.  Not sure if they do something similar near you or how much work is involved with it.  Ours is next week, but between not knowing what we want/need and the virus, I think we are going to pass this year.  You could maybe sell the older stuff and get some stuff for the new baby.  

But I love the idea of the women's shelter as well!  I am sure they would love and find a good home for it.  

babymakes9

@dobiemom11 i'm a big fan of "once upon a child" for swapping out items no longer needed. Its like consignment,  but they just buy .the items they want outright. I'll start taking in my baby boy items soon and getting girl items. 

readermom1

@babymakes9 I didn’t even think about Once Upon A Child! I have been there to shop, but I haven’t ever been in a position to get rid of stuff before. Maybe once the whole COVID thing settles down I will take some of it there.

flip25

My brother and sister-in-law have a crib mattress from my niece that's 7 years old. They said it's in really good condition. Is that something we can reuse or are we better off just getting a new one? We were originally planning on getting a new one, but wondering if that would be an option to just use theirs.

readermom1

@flip25 We are going to be reusing one of our old ones (also about 7 years old) and we gave another old one to my bil when they couldn’t get the one they registered for because of COVID shutdowns. Ours had a waterproof outer covering and we always had a waterproof mattress pad on it as well. I don’t have any hesitation about using it at all. You could ask if theirs is the same. If you feel confident that they took care of it, then you can probably take it, but if you are worried, then I’d say go with your gut.