@jelososhervy my 3 1/2 year old still has quiet time in his room partially because I need the break to get work done or rest myself and partially because having some down time is good for all of us. He knows he doesn't have to sleep, but he can close his eyes if he would like. We found calling it quiet time and having a couple books and puzzles in his room for quiet time works well for all of us. My 1 year old still naps but she has been napping shorter and shorter....
@jelososhervy I'm not sure about the no napping part...we went through a bit of a nap resistance, but we let her CIO and she's back to napping like a champ...but my almost 2 yo DD has become EXTRA clingy lately. I'm not sure if it has to do with me being pregnant, us being around each other ALL DAY EVERY DAY, or both. It's tiring and exhausting.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@jelososhervy my toddler has seemed worried about me the past few days (since my nausea hit). Yesterday he said to me, “mama sick”. I’m trying to remember that he can sense something is different and reassure him with snuggles whenever he wants. He’s not necessarily acting out, but he does seem a little bit stressed and in need of reassurance from me.
@jelososhervy not sure if this is helpful, but I wanted to share just in case. We added blackout curtains to my 2 year olds room, and it has been a real game changer for taking forever to fall asleep. Wish we had figured it out sooner, she had been fighting sleep since daylight savings time. Good luck!
@linds0503 thats definitely a good tip and a game changer, however we've had those since the beginning and she has been an awesome sleeper until this. Although I'm pleased to report it's a little bit better now. Still taking forever but she's less cranky about it. We also started waking her up earlier in the morning just to desperately keep the afternoon nap.
@tryingktogku an old coworker leant me hers and it was amazing. It was so reassuring to hear the heart beat whenever I wanted. I still have it because she kept asking for it back or I would offer to get it back to her but then neither of us followed through. I didn’t start trying to find the heartbeat until after 14 weeks when I heard it in the office. It took me hours and lots of breaks to find it the first time but YouTube videos were very very helpful.
@jelososhervy I think your kiddo is reacting to you being so sick. She probably can sense something is wrong but doesn’t know why mommy is in bed all the time. That’s probably why she seems like she needs you so much more. She sounds very perceptive. Kids are smart and they pick up on things a lot easier than we adults think. They just don’t understand what they’re picking up on or don’t know how to control or work with the emotions they are feeling. Hopefully it gets better as you start feeling better!
Anyone have a mammaroo swing? I know it’s super early but I’m making a list of things I’m thinking I’ll be wanting to buy just so I can budget and a couple of my co workers swear by it but it is a little on the pricey end
Anyone else’s kids regressing after announcing there is a baby coming? He’s back to all day pacifiers, melt downs, potty accidents, and demanded we build the crib because “he’s going to be a baby again” I am sure the stay home orders and disruption in his routine isn’t helping matters but it’s gotten worse.
He seems excited about the new baby, but this worries me.
@the_road_to_oz how old is your son? My first was 1.5 when we got pg with dd and didn’t understand or have a clue. He was 2.5 when we got pg with ds and honestly didn’t really understand then either. I have a couple more week before I tell my 3 who are 5, 4, and 2.5 but I don’t think they’ll care much right now.
I’d think maybe some had to do with the pregnancy but probably more the things going on right now with routines being thrown off and being inside more. My daughter is having more accidents and they’ve been waking more in the night again.
@the_road_to_oz something similar happened with my daughter during my last pregnancy. She was 2 1/2. We checked out a book from the library about being a big sister, and it focused a lot on things that she could do, but a baby couldn’t like swing, eat pizza, run etc. It helped a lot. Also, she liked the Daniel Tiger episodes featuring Daniel and his new baby sister, although your son may have already outgrown DT.
Any bilingual families out there? MH is from India and while he speaks many languages (jerk) the one that's most important to us is Malayalam, which is what they speak in his home state of Kerala. I don't speak a word of it. This is the language his parents speak and they struggle in English, which has been difficult between his parents and our niece who speaks only English at home. I would really like the baby to learn Malayalam especially for bonding with their grandparents who they will probably see once or twice a year at most. Any experience with multiple languages at home? Any success or failures? From my reading its best to have one parent speak exclusively in one language and the other in the other. Since it's not a language that is spoken elsewhere, the only exposure the baby would get is through my husband and his family in India.
@gh1219 I do not speak multiple languages but my work wife is a bilingual speech therapist and we talk about this frequently since many of the families we work with are at least bilingual. She would recommend you speak Malayalam as much as possible at home. It will be baby's first language or "L1". They will always learn English with all of the other exposure they will have (school, literally everywhere else). But they will always have the base of their "L1". The adults I know who are fluently bilingual usually had this type of upbringing. I have another friend who speaks English, Puerto Rican Spanish, and Haitian Creole. They have two boys, at home they speak in Spanish or Creole, or often both. It did take longer for her oldest son to start talking, but he speaks/understands 3 languages.
I wasn't sure if this was the right thread to ask this question in, but we are already starting to research vehicles that fit 3 car seats comfortably. When this baby arrives we will have a 3.5 year old, a 20 month old, and a newborn. Does anyone drive something with 3 rows that you recommend?
@sweet3261 we just got a new Dodge Durango. I don’t know how the third car seat would fit in the third row but we got one with captains chairs in the middle. It drives well and isn’t too big to feel like it’s giant.
@sweet3261 DD will be 3.5 and DS will be 21 months when this LO is born, so we're in the same boat. We have 2 Ford transit connects. One short wheelbase with a bench that fits 3 17" car seats across. One long wheelbase with captains chairs and a 50-50 split 3rd row that seats 2. For the same mileage/condition roughly 10k less than a minivan, so worth a look. I've loved them both.
@sweet3261 when we had our third I had a 3 yr old 17 month old and newborn so two needed to be rear facing. We had a Chevy traverse with captain seats for a few months and it was ok but the cargo space could never hold enough especially when we went on long trips and climbing in and out to buckle was TIGHT. we took the plunge and got a mini van. Now we are having our fourth and I couldn’t imagine ever going back. I was always against vans but now with such littles it’s been a lifesaver for us especially since we travel a lot and go places often.
I the trunk since with the well alone can fit a double and single stroller along with a lot of other stuff. We have a town and country and the middle captain seat we don’t use folds down so we use it for more storage. We are currently looking into upgrading to the Honda Odyssey. Good luck!
@gh1219 me and my sisters were raised bilingual, and so is my 2 yo daughter. She already speaks both Croatian and English really well. The difference is that both my husband and I speak both languages.
His brother and wife chose to do the "each parent speaks one language" approach which also works, and now 2 of their 3 kids speak both perfectly fine but they took a bit longer to start speaking in general and I personally didn't want to be limited to speaking only 1 language to my kid, so what we do is speak either language but we make sure we only speak one language per sentence. Which was hard at first but we got used to it.
I don't agree with sort of neglecting the language that they will be learning anyway through where they live, because it can be confusing for the kid once they do try to communicate to someone outside of the family. It was like that for me, we lived in Canada but my mom wanted us to speak Croatian at home, and my niece's mom spoke only English to her but then she went to daycare in Croatian and I find that a bit tricky. I guess I'd recommend your husband speaks both and make sure you have books in both languages to read from the beginning. Either way, being bilingual is a major plus.
@sweet3261 I drive a Toyota Highlander and I love it. I want to get a new car before the baby arrives, and I'm interested in either another Highlander, a Honda Pilot or a Subaru Ascent.
@gh1219 My brother / nephew are in a similar position. My SIL speaks only Russian to their son and my brother speaks English. He has taken a really long time to start speaking at all, but he’s now saying words in both languages. From what I’ve been told, that’s not uncommon for kids in bilingual households to take a long time to start speaking, then it’s like the floodgates open.
@hham10 We also had a traverse before switching to a minivan. I love my Odyssey, and I couldn’t imagine going back. If you are looking into the Odyssey check for the magic seats feature. It is a game changer! You can slide either of the 2nd row captains seats to the middle which allows a big empty space for easily buckling the 3rd row kids, storing groceries etc. And you can move them back and forth one handed any time you choose.
I have a question: the past couple of years I've taught a short night course at a local university during the spring semester. One 2-hr session a week for six weeks. They've invited me to teach again and asked me to choose my dates, and i have the flexibility to choose any six days between January 11- April 26th.
First off, is it totally insane for me to want to do this, period? If not totally out of the question, then it's a matter of what dates to choose. My husband thinks it would be a good idea to do it when I'll still be on maternity leave so it's not too overwhelming (planning to take 12-16 weeks), and it'll be good for me to get out of the house. How hard would it be to leave a 2-month-old alone with my husband once a week? I'll also need to spend several hours a week grading assignments.
@akoros I think this is definitely doable. I’d push back the first class as far as you can. Leaving the baby for one two hour class a week shouldn’t be an issue. The grading might be a bit harder depending on how your baby is with napping and bedtime, but still manageable!
@akoros I think you can do it for sure. One night a week for a couple hours isn't that crazy, and it'll be great time for YH to spend with baby doing their own thing. It'll probably be nice to get out of the house and not have to just be mom but have a little time to yourself even if you are teaching.
Not sure where to post this question, so I apologize if this isn't the right place lol
I'm pregnant with baby #3 and all I see are people I know (and on here) getting ultrasounds and I never get to have one until 20 weeks. Why is it different for everyone? I don't know if that's a dumb question but I feel out of the loop! All the girls I know are going in for ultrasounds at 9 weeks, 12 weeks.. and mine isn't until 20. Just needed to ask!
Not sure where to post this question, so I apologize if this isn't the right place lol
I'm pregnant with baby #3 and all I see are people I know (and on here) getting ultrasounds and I never get to have one until 20 weeks. Why is it different for everyone? I don't know if that's a dumb question but I feel out of the loop! All the girls I know are going in for ultrasounds at 9 weeks, 12 weeks.. and mine isn't until 20. Just needed to ask!
Where are you? In general the standard of care in the US is at least a 12 week "NT" scan and then the 20 week "anatomy scan".
@willashbaby I am in the US, Michigan. I always just have found it strange they never give me an option for a 12 week scan. I use Spectrum hospital which is the biggest in Grand Rapids area so it's not like it's a small place or doesn't have the resources. I just didn't know why they never offered it to me.
@elmich3 that's close to where I grew up! They may have offered genetic screening by blood draw (NIPT) instead, from what I understand some OBs don't do both the 12 week nuchal translucency scan and the nipt because a lot of the information is redundant. Maybe that is why? Your OB may also not think this is necessary based on family history and age. However it was "standard care" when I went to med school about 5 years ago, so if you are interested in getting the NT scan done, I would call your doctor.
@jelososhervy def. Keep the nap as long as you can, sometimes you have to push through oa rough week and then they'll be a good napper again. I think this major life shift most of is experienced with quarantine has made it hard in the little ones to, they feel the anxiety around them.
@sweet3261 at 3 carseats I went to aminivan, I think it was a town and county with stow and go seating. It was a life changer going from an SUV to it. We currently have a full sized transit and I love it, but it's probably more than most people need.
@gh1219 No way! That's cool And that all does make sense. They do offer a blood test so maybe, like you said, it would be redundant. Thanks for the info!
Does anyone have 3 under 3? This is my third pregnancy in 2.5 years and I'm struggling lol. I have a 1 year old and 2 year olds boys. Emotionally right now, I'm SPENT. I'm feeling the effects of being nonstop pregnant and postpartum for years now. Anyone else gone through it and surviving?
@elmich3 *raises hand* I have a daughter who turned 2 in March and a son who turned 1 in April. This one will make 3 under 3 for us. I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to have 2 children and be pregnant again but I also feel exhausted. The last 2 years have felt like a blur. I'm here if you want to talk!
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: May 2008 DD Born: March 2018 DS Born: April 2019 Due with #3 December 2020!
Re: Ask a BTDT Mom
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
I am sure the stay home orders and disruption in his routine isn’t helping matters but it’s gotten worse.
going on right now with routines being thrown off and being inside more. My daughter is having more accidents and they’ve been waking more in the night again.
MH is from India and while he speaks many languages (jerk) the one that's most important to us is Malayalam, which is what they speak in his home state of Kerala. I don't speak a word of it. This is the language his parents speak and they struggle in English, which has been difficult between his parents and our niece who speaks only English at home.
I would really like the baby to learn Malayalam especially for bonding with their grandparents who they will probably see once or twice a year at most.
Any experience with multiple languages at home? Any success or failures? From my reading its best to have one parent speak exclusively in one language and the other in the other. Since it's not a language that is spoken elsewhere, the only exposure the baby would get is through my husband and his family in India.
His brother and wife chose to do the "each parent speaks one language" approach which also works, and now 2 of their 3 kids speak both perfectly fine but they took a bit longer to start speaking in general and I personally didn't want to be limited to speaking only 1 language to my kid, so what we do is speak either language but we make sure we only speak one language per sentence. Which was hard at first but we got used to it.
I don't agree with sort of neglecting the language that they will be learning anyway through where they live, because it can be confusing for the kid once they do try to communicate to someone outside of the family. It was like that for me, we lived in Canada but my mom wanted us to speak Croatian at home, and my niece's mom spoke only English to her but then she went to daycare in Croatian and I find that a bit tricky. I guess I'd recommend your husband speaks both and make sure you have books in both languages to read from the beginning. Either way, being bilingual is a major plus.
First off, is it totally insane for me to want to do this, period? If not totally out of the question, then it's a matter of what dates to choose. My husband thinks it would be a good idea to do it when I'll still be on maternity leave so it's not too overwhelming (planning to take 12-16 weeks), and it'll be good for me to get out of the house. How hard would it be to leave a 2-month-old alone with my husband once a week? I'll also need to spend several hours a week grading assignments.
I'm pregnant with baby #3 and all I see are people I know (and on here) getting ultrasounds and I never get to have one until 20 weeks. Why is it different for everyone? I don't know if that's a dumb question but I feel out of the loop! All the girls I know are going in for ultrasounds at 9 weeks, 12 weeks.. and mine isn't until 20. Just needed to ask!
They may have offered genetic screening by blood draw (NIPT) instead, from what I understand some OBs don't do both the 12 week nuchal translucency scan and the nipt because a lot of the information is redundant. Maybe that is why? Your OB may also not think this is necessary based on family history and age. However it was "standard care" when I went to med school about 5 years ago, so if you are interested in getting the NT scan done, I would call your doctor.
@sweet3261 at 3 carseats I went to aminivan, I think it was a town and county with stow and go seating. It was a life changer going from an SUV to it. We currently have a full sized transit and I love it, but it's probably more than most people need.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
I have a daughter who turned 2 in March and a son who turned 1 in April. This one will make 3 under 3 for us. I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to have 2 children and be pregnant again but I also feel exhausted. The last 2 years have felt like a blur. I'm here if you want to talk!
Married: May 2008
DD Born: March 2018
DS Born: April 2019
Due with #3 December 2020!