*copied from June BMB*
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?
How did you tell your partner?
Who will you tell next?
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
How and when are you telling those you work with?
Are you making a social media announcement?
We all have different ideas. There is not right and wrong, there is only what is right for you and your partner. Share your plans here. Share the reactions (good and bad) that you get here.
Re: Pregnancy Announcements
I’ve told a handful of people at this point- basically all my close friends who supported me through IF and our director at work because she and I have had conversations about going through IF and focusing on work (she had to do IVF for both her kids). Also I told my 2 best gym friends so they wouldn’t worry that I’m suddenly 10000x slower than normal (I’m very paranoid about my HR) and so they’d hold me accountable. I need to slow my roll but i just want to tell everyone close to me!
We also told my parents several days ago and his parents last night. My parents were on FaceTime and my mom had the cutest reaction when we held up the onesie. His mom is kind of ditzy and didn’t even notice the stuff we had sitting out when they came over for dinner last night. Of course when I mentioned I was a little nervous about the US in 2 weeks she said “at least you know you can get pregnant” and in my head I was like ok let’s not go there haha.
We’re planning on telling DH’s sisters and grandma’s next but don’t know when or how. One of his grandmas is already a great x2, but this will be the other’s 1st great grandchild so we want to do something a bit more special for her. Assuming all is well, we plan on telling both our extended families at Christmas so they can find out at the same time (his family is in KY and mine is in IL). Not sure when I’ll tell my manager and coworkers. It really depends on how I’m feeling and if I start getting sick. I want to make a social media announcement at some point but not until I’m pretty far along. I know I’m allowed to celebrate this but also know how shitty announcements made me feel over the past 2 years. Whenever we do it I plan on mentioning IF and acknowledging the pain our news may cause others. I’ve seen a few very tactful pregnancy announcements from social media friends that acknowledge that.
Eta wow sorry that ended up being so long. I was just typing away over here. My bad
I work in construction (way more men than women) the men might question it but never ask lol. The other handful of women will hound me 🙃
This is will be our second, so telling DH wasn’t as exciting this time around.
i didn’t really plan on testing this month because I was already spotting , but I had a few cheapies and a FRER to use up. Later that night I showed him the FRER while he was watching YouTube videos 😂 I also told him not to get excited since I was spotting.
we had started trying when DS turned 1 so I’m pretty anxious to start telling people! I hinted at one coworker as I handed him my drink tickets from an event, and I’ll plan on telling my manager the morning of my 8 week scan as long as everything looks good.
as for family members and close friends, I think we’ll make a subtle announcement over the holidays, and put DS in a big brother shirt 😀
DH ran out at 6am to get me a FRER after I got a squinter on a Wondfo so we found out together.
All of my local mom friends and DD’s BMB already knows bc they knew we were mid-IVF and I’d lean on them anyway if something happened.
I ordered a shirt from Etsy to tell our parents with and we’ll probably have DD wear this for Christmas with the rest of the family and just wait for them to notice.
I’m strongly considering just waiting for someone at work to ask bc I’m gigantic 😂
Not sure yet about a social media post. Seems like we’re not trying with this baby if I don’t. But that’s dumb bc who cares about a FB post? Anyway... still deciding there.
We told our parents and I told a few close friends, essentially the people who know of our two prior losses and whose support we’d want if something happened. Our plan is to keep it quiet from siblings until we see a heartbeat and then we’ll tell some more folks once I’m in the second tri.
I won’t say anything at work until I’m in the second tri. I’ve only been at my current job for two months so I won’t qualify for their maternity leave policy or FMLA (requires a year of employment). I trust my boss and my company has a robust maternity leave policy generally (by US standards) so I’m pretty confident we’ll work out an ok combo of medical leave and short term disability. Still anxiety producing though.
How did you tell your partner? I’d planned on waiting with DH because everyone in my house is sick and I wanted him to be excited and not like “omg we’re gonna have 4 flu-y kids one day.” But I have no self control so basically waited an hour and had to tell him. Nothing fun this time since baby is a bit of a (happy!) surprise, I just showed him my chart and was like “this is when Ava said we were pregnant, this is when my period was supposed to come, this is where we are now. Do you understand what I’m saying?” And then I whipped out the positive test. He handled it GREAT, overwhelmed, but smiley.
Who will you tell next? Next up will be family, I’m thinking around Christmas; I’ll probably get the early blood test so I imagine we’ll know sex by then too.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I like to wait past the first heartbeat ultrasound to really start sharing news, but I am telling the people who’s love/support I’d want regardless.
How and when are you telling those you work with? I’m. SAHM soooo 😂 we’ll tell the boys probably when we tell our families; they can’t keep a secret
Are you making a social media announcement? I will around 20 weeks ish. I never made one for DS1, but enjoyed them for my other two.
DS2: Jan. 2016
DS3: Dec. 2017
Baby #4 on the way!
How did you tell your partner? Awkwardly! I had taken a test earlier and he knew my period was supposed to start that day and then as I was trying to bring it up in conversation he was like "oh by the way did you.." and I was like NOPE/YEP.
Who will you tell next? My mom
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I'll be a little over 7 weeks when we tell my mom/in-laws so that feels like a good time, everyone else will get to know when it comes up probably.
How and when are you telling those you work with? No idea, my job is contracted and part time and I don't work summers anyone so there's no real like OMG this is going to be awkward but I'm a private person so it may not come up until I'm quite rotund.
Are you making a social media announcement? Unlikely. No offense to those that do but I'll probably refrain unless I take very late maternity photos and then will be like...surprise, had a large lunch!
We haven't told anyone yet although I think my in-laws suspect since I didn't drink this past weekend when they visited. I'm going to tell my mom in the next few weeks and then his parents at Thanksgiving. We are looking forward to telling his 100 year old grandmother. After Thanksgiving I will probably tell a few close friends. I'll tell my department at work (6 ladies) in December but wait until January to tell the rest of the staff. I was thinking of making a big New Years Day announcement, I'll be 12.5 weeks at that point.
Partner- DH drives a regional route, and I knew he would be near home sometime yesterday⁰. I talked to him and asked him to stop at home quick because I had a board meeting last night and wouldn't be home until he was in bed. He walked in to this:
(Sorry I dont know how to put it in a spoiler on mobile)
My family will find out next, we are telling them in person and early, DH wants to tell them at Thanksgiving *TW- if we experience another loss, I want them to know about it. They are so supportive amd I needed that last time.TW OVER**
We are waiting to tell everyone else until probably January. Maybe. We dont speak to his family hardly at all, unfortunately.
I'll probably share something on social media after we tell the rest of our family and friends. It's too exciting for me not to share. I just want to hold it to ourselves for a little while first.
*edit for spelling*
How did you tell your partner? This was the first month we were trying for baby #2 so when I got the very clear BFP, I was partly in shock and instead of doing something adorable, I ran downstairs at 6am, screamed "I INTERRUPT YOUR WORKOUT WITH THIS SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN" and shoved the pregnancy test in his face lmao. I loved seeing his completely genuine reaction. He was so excited, swooped me off the stairs, and just started hugging and kissing me
Who will you tell next? I am going to Taco Tuesday tonight with one of my best friends. I'm telling her because she is getting married next October and has mentioned I will either be in the wedding or officiating the wedding so she was worried about the timing of my second baby and nervous I'd have to miss it if I was due the same month. So I'm telling her to set her mind at ease
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I've had a few MCs before DD so I want to wait until I've heard a heartbeat to share with anyone else
How and when are you telling those you work with? I am torn between making a general announcement to my team at staff meeting after the new year or just keeping quiet and getting fatter and waiting for someone to crack and ask hahaha
Are you making a social media announcement? Yeah, I have fun with them. I am thinking about a few options:
1.) a picture with all our stockings up (plus a tiny one for baby) and a caption about how we got a special gift this Christmas.
2.) I saw adorable slippers for Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Lil Bear, and Baby Bear so I might buy those and post that.
3.) A new years day post with some fun, cheesy caption about "ringing in the new year with big news" or even cheesier, a picture of my head in a toilet with a caption like "this is not a hangover" and my husband Dan in the foreground holding our daughter in her "Promoted to Big Sister" shirt that we bought.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
How did you tell your partner? I had been feeling pregnant for a few days and waited to test when I knew I would get at least a faint line. Tested on a Friday night with a cheapie strip, then again in the morning with FRER and immediately got a dark line. We are moving in the next few weeks, and I kept making comments about a second kid and how we need a place with at least 3BR. He didn't really pick up on it- he's not always great with subtlety 😂. I showed him my positive tests later that evening.
Who will you tell next? some close friends and our church family.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? We want to wait obviously until the pregnancy is further along, but I know it will be harder to hide this time since I may show earlier.
How and when are you telling those you work with? I am SAHM so I dont have to worry about that this time around, but DH is starting a new job. So, I'm not quite sure how he will broach the subject with his new employer about needing time off in 8 months.
Are you making a social media announcement? Most likely we will to let out of town friends and family know. I have already to my O18 BMB group know- there are a few of us now who are expecting.
How did you tell your partner? My FET (frozen embryo transfer) was last week so it wasn't a surprise but I told him I was testing a couple of days ago and then showed him the positive. He's a numbers guys so the real positive for him will be after the blood test.
Who will you tell next? Family.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? When I was pregnant with DS everyone knew I was trying so people knew right away when I was pregnant. I want to wait this time and keep it to just us for a little bit.
How and when are you telling those you work with? I work from home so this isn't a big deal. I will tell the woman I work closely with right after Christmas.
Are you making a social media announcement? Maybe. It's not a priority for me.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
We are going to tell my parents & grandparents over Christmas when we go to visit.
I am not planning on telling his parents until I can't hide it anymore. It's my passive way of getting back at his mom who has been asking about #3 almost weekly for the last 2 years. Maybe it will teach her a lesson and she won't do the same to her other 2 daughters.
I run an inhome daycare, so I will tell the parents February-ish. Most are teachers, so the timing is pretty good.
For the other 2, I had preemptively asked my SIL, a teacher, if she'd be willing to help if we were able to get pregnant.
I'm hoping I'll deliver a little early (due 16th) so I can use her for about a month before she goes back. Schools here start mid August, so hopefully I'll be ready by then.
For appts, I'll be using hubby or my MIL as a sub. My MIL only works pt and has afternoons off.
I bought a shirt that says, "leveling up to big bro" for my 6 year old son ❤. I think here at around 8 weeks next month we will take him to play laser tag at the arcade and to dinner and give it to him. Sit down and have a long talk. Ugh, I'm gonna cry. Then a week later for christmas we will tell everyone else. I have some onesie care packages planned, almost all of our families are out of state!!! We will tell my grandparents and aunt on christmas though.
Who will you tell next?- we've already told a fair amount of friends and family: everyone who had been supporting us through IVF. Next we'll tell more extended family we'll be seeing at Thanksgiving. Don't want to make a big announcement at dinner (not trigger people I know are trying/ make t-giving all about us) so will send out an email a few days before.
How and when are you telling those you work with?- I think I'll tell 2 of my close work colleagues around the start of the 2nd trimester. Almost blurted it out earlier because they knew we were doing IVF, but managed to restrain myself.
Are you making a social media announcement? - Yup, will definitely mention our IF struggles to try to normalize it and give hope to others.
How did you tell your partner?
Who will you tell next?
I will tell a couple close friends and coworkers over the next couple weeks, as long as everything continues to go well!
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
I’m in the camp of waiting to tell at the 12 week mark, except for those I’m closest to.
How and when are you telling those you work with?
A few know, we’re a really close knit department. I won’t tell my managers and anyone outside my department until 12 weeks or so.
We were watching football and I just had a really strong feeling, so I went upstairs to find a test. I only had a digi, so I wasn’t excepting much, especially not using FMU. I brought the positive down and handed it to him and just said “so in other news.” Not very cute or romantic or anything. It doesn’t feel real, and for now we are more nervous than anything. Cautiously optimistic, but nervous.
Who will you tell next?
We will tell our immediate families, maybe Thanksgiving weekend? We have a big brother shirt for DS from our loss, so might find a way to use that. Just not on actual dinner since extended families will be there and we want to wait awhile.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
We want to tell our family, since we would tell them about a loss anyway. Waiting to tell everyone else until after 1st Tri.
How and when are you telling those you work with?
Are you making a social media announcement?
eventually. Probably also post about our loss.
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
How did you tell your partner? At the end of the day at 15 DPO, I attached the HPT to our dog's collar. It was a good laugh for me to watch it happen. DH: What's on Oliver's neck? [...] Is it a pregnancy test? Me: I don't know, why don't you check it out? He had the best reaction, I was really happy! The poor guy thought we were out which I thought when I started spotting early on, so he really didn't see it coming! 😅
Who will you tell next? We might tell my mom and my MIL and SIL this week-end after I have my 2nd GP appointment on Thursday and I get my bloodwork results. I'll be 8 weeks then. I feel like I need another proof than a FRER to believe this is happening.
We kind of had to hint my SIL this week-end as she was going to book the venue for her child's baptism. The date is set for July 12 and I am currently due July 3 and we are the godparents... she kept smiling but didn't ask any more questions lol
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? Anxious as I had a chemical in August.
How and when are you telling those you work with? I think I will tell my boss just before the Christmas Holidays and the rest as it comes. I might have to do it earlier if they request I attend one of our partner events in March which is in a Zika zone.
Are you making a social media announcement? As of now, I don't plan to. But if I do, our dog will be the one announcing the good news
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?
I think we'll wait to Christmas to announce. I would prefer to wait until we're actually passed the first tri, (which so far will be Jan 12), but if everything is going well it would be a good time to announce to everyone together. Maybe I'll throw my daughter in one of those cute "big sister" shirts.
One of my best friends will be getting married on Jan 11, a night of sobriety will be a dead giveaway anyway .
How did you tell your partner?
I gave the HPT to my 12 month old daughter and said "show daddy what you have". He was so shocked, "is that us?", he had no idea. I thought about videotaping it, but I'm glad I just enjoyed it in the moment.
Who will you tell next?
Probably just my best friend. And then wait to tell everyone else.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
I've had a loss before, and I'd just prefer to wait until we're further along.
How and when are you telling those you work with?
I'll probably tell someone in admin at my school (but not my boss) just in case there are any infectious diseases going around so I can get a heads up. I'll tell my team sometime in the new year.
Are you making a social media announcement
Probably not anything super formal.
I'm telling my immediate family and close family friends on our friendsgiving on Friday. My best friend's wife has the same EDD so we're announcing together. We bought my DS and her 2 kids matching big sibling shirts (got one for my nephew too since my SIL is preggo, everyone knows but didn't want him to be left out).
How did you tell your partner?
We had this whole plan that I would take a picture of a positive test and wait until he noticed since we have shared album on Google Photos. He was taking waaaay too long to notice so I put a positive digital on the edge of the sink and waited until the morning daze wore off for him to notice it.
Who will you tell next?
I'm going to tell my grandparents after my first ultrasound using our Photospring Digital frame. I'll add a picture of my DS wearing his big sibling shirt and wait for them to notice.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
I tell those who I'd want to know if I had a miscarriage, everyone else can wait until second trimester.
How and when are you telling those you work with?
I'll tell my admin (I'm a teacher) after my first ultrasound and maybe a few close co-workers. Last baby I waited until my anatomy scan.
Are you making a social media announcement?
After my anatomy scan probably
How did you tell your partner? I took a pregnancy test on the 23rd and then on the 25th. I told him when he got home from work that night. He is a burly man with crazy curly hair and he got the tiniest sweet smile on his face. We decided to be cautiously optimistic which I imagine will follow us throughout the first trimester.
Who will you tell next? My parents are next a lunch. My mom is a shrewd woman so she probably already knows somehow. Then the MIL will know tonight. After that, noone until mid-January.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? We are waiting until the second trimester for our wider circle of family and friends. I was initially reluctant to do this, but DH makes a lot of sense. We don't want to have the same heartrending conversation over and over again if (heaven forbid) something goes wrong.
How and when are you telling those you work with? I really don't want to tell my boss. He has no filter and has no concept of personal space. As soon as I start showing, I imagine he will want to touch my belly. I'm going to carry around a wooden spoon to smack him with. My coworkers will know in mid-January. They are socially sensible people.
Are you making a social media announcement? No. I'd like to do a mini-photo shoot and send the photos to family and friends, but I'm cutting back on FB and I don't use any other platform.
FWIW, I actually didn't have many touch my belly the first go round... work on your RBF and I bet you'll be fine!
This is going to be their first grandchild, so they were really excited. My mom is a teacher so she's glad it'll be during the summer. I was also really glad to finally ask my mom about her pregnancies (so I can get a sense of what to expect!)
We're telling the rest of my siblings today when they get in, and my in-laws next weekend. They have one grandson already, and they've been so obsessed with him, they'll be thrilled to be getting another I'm sure 🙂
Happy almost Thanksgiving and good luck to everyone telling friends and family over the holiday!!
@meri-mac Go Mom! That’s really cute too! (And now, I think I need chocolate).
@pretzellover I will definitely be taking a bite out of them when I am done work.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19