@noideawhatshesdoing I know exactly how you feel. It sucks but I just keep telling myself it’ll be worth it. So many times after my son’s I regretted doing it and questioned myself but in the end I knew it was the right thing to do. Still trying to remind/convince myself of that for this baby.
@flockofmoosen3 the other day when H was going on his nagging an me not doing stuff the past month (since baby was born) he mentioned how he had to do it all when his brother was here. I stopped him quick because his brother and family were suppose to be here to help instead they came here for a vacation. In the meantime H had to do it all which was not my fault. He should of stepped up and said something. On top of that we were occasionally stuck watching their 5 yr old. They took advantage that we had to wake early to sleep in. Very frustrating how people don’t help when they are there to do so.
Guys I bought an app that’s sole purpose is to shush the baby and I have to say it’s my favorite baby purchase to date Shes been really clingy lately and I haven’t been able to do much of anything unless I’m holding her. But I got to shower this morning! And it helps a little soothing her at night so I don’t have to hover over her shushing her back to sleep.
@wildtot it seems like your DH is having a tough time with this LO, I read an article somewhere that men can also get PPD. (IMO is sounds like he is projecting) maybe something is bothering him- besides the who does what kind of argument. Sending so much sisterly support your way that he turned his mood. We are here for you for support!
@acunamatada how are you going to write that post and then not share the app!?! Let us know which one it is!? I haven’t needed anything like that yet, but I’m sure my time will come lol
@catftm2018 I’ve heard of men ppd (seems like a recent thing though) but H is not one to share his feelings if it is that. He’s just always had issues with doing things at night or just getting him to wake up. I made a joke ones that if someone were to ever break in I’d be the one trying to save us or we’d be completely robbed because he wouldn’t hear a thing or wake in time. He didn’t like that joke...but hasn’t changed a thing! He acts entitled to sleep sometimes which bugs me. To be serious though I do ask him how he’s doing or i can sense something is bugging him but he doesn’t share unless we both explode. Not healthy.
@acunamatada Thank you and love the name lol sometimes times it’s just worth buying the app for your sanity!
@wildtot I think you are right about it being a newer diagnosis in men. I am sorry that he acts that way. I know you’ve expressed your feelings and concerns to him. How can he not cater to you more, you are your babies source of food, if you are tired or not fed then how can you possibly take care of LO. Men are so stubborn! I would suggest couples therapy, just to help with communication but it sounds like that might make him more angry.
That moment your baby looks sweet and makes eye contact with you so you start to forgive him for being an asshole ragey hulk monster that doesn't sleep, only to then unload his biggest loudest poop ever.
Also, we know now Seventh Generation diapers don't work for us...
@catftm2018 we were on the fence about them because we have had two pee leaks, but this is the third strike against them for us. I have friends that love them though, just thankful for all the samples we got from Target. Honest also doesn't contain his pee, but he pees a ton so it's probably my kid and not the diapers. Pampers all seem too wide, plus they have a baby powder smell I can't stand. So far the Huggies Little Snugglers and the Up & Up brand seem to work best for us.
FFMC: it drives me nuts when she does that because she never puts stuff in the right spot, and she loads the dishwasher like a five year old so I always have to reload it later. Oh well, it’s better than no help!
the app works today!!! I just asked DH about if he was still good with our original plan of stopping at 2 and he said the exact same thing about not being able to handle me pregnant again. With my health problems he's always had a fear of losing me in childbirth. My ob had also said he thought it was wise to stop now, and that was before bleeding during surgery. DH said if we really felt we wanted more down the line we'd explore adoption. I feel our family is complete though.
I feel this exact way about "help"! We're writing out a list of chores that are safe to do.
RE: bc, I'll probably get another mirena, after the 4 day migraine they told me in the hospital to stay away from hormonal bc, dh will get a vasectomy but he still wants to wait a year for some reason.
DS slept for 4 hours last night! He hasn't done that since leaving the NICU. Since coming home he's been 1 hour on the boob and 1 hour off. They get to break all the sleep rules in the NICU since they are constantly supervised so it was quite a transition. I got the zen baby swaddle (thank you Amazon 1day shipping) and it's a life savor!!!!! It's weighted like the cuddle besn bag at the NICU but safer since it's in the swaddle and not loose by his face.
@noideawhatshesdoing solidarity. I'm pissed at my LO currently. I have barely peed, I've been covered in spit up, he won't stop crying because he wants to eat. Been on the boob for 3 hours now and I am moving my mom into the BNB today then picking up my stepdad in LA. Feeling pretty bitter atm...
TMI but I was not able to put on a liner because of lo screaming while I was in the bathroom earlier and I spotted on my underwear. Fml!
@noideawhatshesdoing my DS was a SUPER heavy wetter and even though we cloth diaper, when we travel we use disposables. Honest ones NEVER worked and honestly, I hated the way they smelled after he would pee. We also tried a European brand called naty and they were so rough his little butt would get all red. Seventh generation is all that ever worked for him! DD is also a heavy wetter so I’m hoping the next trip we take that we can’t use cloth the severity generation will work for her too! Heavy wetters are the best lol
Guys, I'm hitting a wall today. I feel like a horrible mom and just exhausted.
As I mentioned LO gave me 1hr stretches since 4 am and was cluster feeding 8am-noon. I had to call DH to come help us on his lunch because I literally could not even load the car or get dressed or anything. And my mom doesn't drive...this is the only time this has really been a problem. Anyways...
My mom is amazing but today she really got on my nerves. She doesn't understand cluster feeding. Every time it happens she asks ARE YOU SURE YOU GAVE HIM ENOUGH MILK. my new answer is that unless you're the one nursing a child pretty much non stop since 5am with a couple of breaks you just do not get to make comments and you just STFU. Especially when you see me sweaty, tired, in my PJs, with spit up stains all over. Really, just STFU. I think old age is getting to her and she is just so unreasonable at times!
And then we made it to the bnb. Because lo somehow fell asleep (though I can tell he is in time bomb mode) and we stuck him in the car seat as soon as he went down. First comment was "well we need to move the bed because your stepdad wakes before me and he can't sleep against the wall". I asked if they could just switch sides...she said NO I CANNOT SLEEP AGAINST A WALL. like WTF LADY? So my DH moved the bed a little. She proceeded to say how weird it was to position a bed like that. Seriously, have some effing mercy mercy considering a) I'm paying for this place b)it was expensive and hard to find so close to home and c) I'VE BEEN NURSING A BABY IN THE HEAT THIS WHOLE TIME.
We're making lunch now and figuring out a plan to pick up my stepdad...I am seriously at my wit's end today.
@kissableviv I’m sorry today is so tough. I felt a very similar way the other day...and last night...and this morning...it’s very overwhelming at times. My advice, take tomorrow to yourself - don’t commit yourself to seeing anyone or Doing anything and Just make it a day of rest to recharge and center yourself. I mean rest is all relative with a newborn but maybe being on your own without an audience and commentary from anyone will feel better and you can just snooze or relax whenever baby lets you. That’s what I tried to do yesterday when I had the house to myself and found it really helped.
So I went through with the tongue and lip tie procedure today. The dentist said the lip tie was pretty significant and it would help the gassy/spit up situation to fix that. He also said the tongue has good movement but there was a definite tie far back that you can feel more than see, but it was there and fixing it would help with the pain and nipple compression. I sat in the waiting room for about 3 minutes listening to my poor baby wail and cry bloody murder while he was getting it done, then they brought me back to nurse him. He latched right on and for the first time ever I nursed on the left side without pain! His lip is flanging out now too. I gave Tylenol when we got home to try to prevent pain, but he’s definitely uncomfortable. He’s sleeping on me now because he won’t let me put him down. Poor bubba.
@kissableviv sorry you're having such a rough day. Maybe you'll get a little more rest with your mom in a separate place now?
@zande2016 sounds like it went well. Good luck with the recovery.
I'm other news, today LO will only nap if I do pushups that result in landing a raspberry on him or doing a Jazzercise squat routine holding him. I guess he's gonna be my workout buddy. Also, Britney Spears on full blast is the baby whisperer in this house. Photo proof.
@kissableviv sorry you had a rough day I think as time goes on during this newborn phase the tireness and stress catches up and then feels way worse. I always feel like there’s a surge of adrenaline at first or something! I’m glad you have your own space now though, having your mom around for so long probably also got exceeding frustrating and added to the stress!
Guys I'm having trouble putting Bernie down to sleep lol. He went 2 hours sleeping after some clusterfeeding for a few hours. I woke him to eat but he wasn't interested yet. I'm gonna try again at the 3 hour mark but hes now sleeping on me...I'm loving the snuggles! I'll probably regret not cat napping later.
@canucklehead123 I feel the same way about the epidural as you said in your birth story. Currently zero difference between recovery and the positiveness of the experience for me in terms of epidural vs. None. It was a great decision for me in this particular labor!
Hang in there @kissableviv!!! At least you have your personal space back. I agree with pp, take tomorrow to just be. Try to relax, as much as you're able.
@SmashJam sleep is for the birds! Enjoy those snuggles!!
Soooo...I did something completely idiotic yesterday...laughable...yet idiotic. So I'm still using dermoplast after using the bathroom because I'm still sore. Well, I decide I'd open the crotch up a little to assist the dermoplast getting in there...I sprayed my clit...it did not feel good!!! I was sooooo uncomfortable. I cannot believe I did such a dumb ass thing.
@kissableviv sorry you're having a rough day. I get how hearing those comments constantly, especially when you're exhausted is tough. I hope you get some rest soon. Can your H give baby a bottle yet? Sorry I forgot if you're pumping yet. Also, major props for hanging in there with EBFing during the cluster feeds and all.
@zande2016 hope your littles has a quick recovery, happy to hear that the procedure was a success.
I've been craving a long hot bath. I called my OB's office the other day to ask if it's ok and got the go ahead from him. Now I'm having second thoughts and worrying after getting an infection. What do you guys think? It would just be in my tub at home and I don't think OB would say ok if there was any risk. I'm 2 weeks pp today.
It doesn’t seem to matter how much I shower or how much deodorant I use or what kind I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my body odor. I constantly smell like a preteen going through puberty who hasn’t yet discovered deodorant. What is up with that? Anyone else?? This has never been an issue for me before. Is this another lovely postpartum thing or have I developed some sort of body odor disorder?
@kissableviv hang in there! I know today is a rough day but tomorrow will be a fresh day. Take a few extra mommy minutes tomorrow for you (longer shower, enjoy uour morning beverage an extra minute longer) and then five into the day. You got this!!
@zande2016 me too! I feel so sweaty and stinky that is embarrassing. I’ve had to do a couple wipe downs between and under boobs to rid myself of odor. Add in the smelly pads abd some 90° Florida heat...I’m a dream boat.
+1 in smelling terrible and sweating constantly. It doesn’t help that my boobs are ginormous right now and boob sweat/milk mix smells terrible. I actually had to use my husbands deodorant while pregnant because mine stopped working. It does NOTHING for me now though. So I started trying all the deodorants I have (we use natural deodorant so we’ve got lots of different kinds laying around from when we tried to find ones that worked for each of us). Well, the ONLY one that works for me is the one that I hate the most lol it’s lime scented. LIME. Ugh. At least it works lol
Glad I’m not alone...after a night of breastfeeding and sweating I smell like I just came back from a really intense workout. But then I don’t get a chance to shower until my husband gets home from work so basically there’s only a 3-4 hour window every day where I don’t smell.
congrats to all the new moms! @zande2016 same here - and the night sweats are insane (if/when I actually make it to the bedroom to sleep). So far supply hasnt' been a super issue (fx) but I'm thinking of going back on fenugreek because then at least my sweat smelled like maple syrup which was way more pleasant. Who diagnosed the lip tie? I have a feeling DS has one because his upper lip won't flange even with me trying to manually do it and we just can't get a deep enough latch.
Should we start a new BF board? It's gotten quite long and I'll admit i'm intimidated trying to catch up...
@kissableviv hope today goes better you are a great mom!
+1 for smelling bad lol
we are driving to my inlaws today for the weekend. the 3.5 hour drive just feels so daunting and overwhelming but im sure it will be okay. i definitely feel like i have become a homebody since having baby 2
+1 to smelling horrid in the mornings. Since my night sweats have calmed wayyyy down now at 5 weeks pp its mainly I smell like breastmilk. If i leak through on my shirt it definitely smells sour.. the first opportunity I get I hop in the shower, but it's also why I don't make morning appointments anymore lol
@gingerbride26 my older son had ties and it’s genetic so I asked for the LC in hospital to look at him and she diagnosed lip and tongue. Then my LC who I have come to my house wasn’t sure, so enter third LC who specializes in ties, she was positive he had them. Went to see a pediatric dentist who performs laser revision and he confirmed the ties. We got the revision done at the same appointment as the consultation. You can look up photos online of what a lip tie looks like and if you suspect it then I’d find a LC who is knowledgeable about ties to take a look and make a referral to a provider to confirm diagnosis.
Not so much BO but I do smell like milk and spit up. I’ve been doing laundry more frequently these days because of this. Although maybe i do taste a bit sour sometimes because LO makes some funny faces when starting to nurse. Gotta start wiping the boobs more often.
I’d appreciate some prayers for Zachary. He’s had a rough go at it with the fluid in his lungs and rapid breathing issues. They took the breathing machine tube out of him this morning and are now providing oxygen through a mask on his nose. He’s making a lot of progress quickly, but probably not fast enough to get discharged at the same time as us.
Luckily, they were able to give him a feeding of the colostrum I pumped this morning. This is great news as they were originally planning on giving it to him as a swab/mouth treatment. I’m hoping to finally have some skin to skin time later today. Maybe even be able to try nursing in the next day or two.
Re: Weekday Randoms 7/30
shush the baby and I have to say it’s my favorite baby purchase to date
Shes been really clingy lately and I haven’t been able to do much of anything unless I’m holding her. But I got to shower this morning! And it helps a little soothing her at night so I don’t have to hover over her shushing her back to sleep.
@zande2016 good luck with your procedure today!!
@acunamatada how are you going to write that post and then not share the app!?! Let us know which one it is!? I haven’t needed anything like that yet, but I’m sure my time will come lol
@wildtot I think you are right about it being a newer diagnosis in men. I am sorry that he acts that way. I know you’ve expressed your feelings and concerns to him. How can he not cater to you more, you are your babies source of food, if you are tired or not fed then how can you possibly take care of LO. Men are so stubborn! I would suggest couples therapy, just to help with communication but it sounds like that might make him more angry.
Also, we know now Seventh Generation diapers don't work for us...
the app works today!!!
I just asked DH about if he was still good with our original plan of stopping at 2 and he said the exact same thing about not being able to handle me pregnant again. With my health problems he's always had a fear of losing me in childbirth. My ob had also said he thought it was wise to stop now, and that was before bleeding during surgery. DH said if we really felt we wanted more down the line we'd explore adoption. I feel our family is complete though.
I feel this exact way about "help"! We're writing out a list of chores that are safe to do.
RE: bc, I'll probably get another mirena, after the 4 day migraine they told me in the hospital to stay away from hormonal bc, dh will get a vasectomy but he still wants to wait a year for some reason.
DS slept for 4 hours last night! He hasn't done that since leaving the NICU. Since coming home he's been 1 hour on the boob and 1 hour off. They get to break all the sleep rules in the NICU since they are constantly supervised so it was quite a transition. I got the zen baby swaddle (thank you Amazon 1day shipping) and it's a life savor!!!!! It's weighted like the cuddle besn bag at the NICU but safer since it's in the swaddle and not loose by his face.
TMI but I was not able to put on a liner because of lo screaming while I was in the bathroom earlier and I spotted on my underwear. Fml!
Kylie M.
Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015
Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018
As I mentioned LO gave me 1hr stretches since 4 am and was cluster feeding 8am-noon. I had to call DH to come help us on his lunch because I literally could not even load the car or get dressed or anything. And my mom doesn't drive...this is the only time this has really been a problem. Anyways...
My mom is amazing but today she really got on my nerves. She doesn't understand cluster feeding. Every time it happens she asks ARE YOU SURE YOU GAVE HIM ENOUGH MILK. my new answer is that unless you're the one nursing a child pretty much non stop since 5am with a couple of breaks you just do not get to make comments and you just STFU. Especially when you see me sweaty, tired, in my PJs, with spit up stains all over. Really, just STFU. I think old age is getting to her and she is just so unreasonable at times!
And then we made it to the bnb. Because lo somehow fell asleep (though I can tell he is in time bomb mode) and we stuck him in the car seat as soon as he went down. First comment was "well we need to move the bed because your stepdad wakes before me and he can't sleep against the wall". I asked if they could just switch sides...she said NO I CANNOT SLEEP AGAINST A WALL. like WTF LADY? So my DH moved the bed a little. She proceeded to say how weird it was to position a bed like that. Seriously, have some effing mercy mercy considering a) I'm paying for this place b)it was expensive and hard to find so close to home and c) I'VE BEEN NURSING A BABY IN THE HEAT THIS WHOLE TIME.
We're making lunch now and figuring out a plan to pick up my stepdad...I am seriously at my wit's end today.
So I went through with the tongue and lip tie procedure today. The dentist said the lip tie was pretty significant and it would help the gassy/spit up situation to fix that. He also said the tongue has good movement but there was a definite tie far back that you can feel more than see, but it was there and fixing it would help with the pain and nipple compression. I sat in the waiting room for about 3 minutes listening to my poor baby wail and cry bloody murder while he was getting it done, then they brought me back to nurse him. He latched right on and for the first time ever I nursed on the left side without pain! His lip is flanging out now too. I gave Tylenol when we got home to try to prevent pain, but he’s definitely uncomfortable. He’s sleeping on me now because he won’t let me put him down. Poor bubba.
@zande2016 sounds like it went well. Good luck with the recovery.
I'm other news, today LO will only nap if I do pushups that result in landing a raspberry on him or doing a Jazzercise squat routine holding him. I guess he's gonna be my workout buddy. Also, Britney Spears on full blast is the baby whisperer in this house. Photo proof.
@canucklehead123 I feel the same way about the epidural as you said in your birth story. Currently zero difference between recovery and the positiveness of the experience for me in terms of epidural vs. None. It was a great decision for me in this particular labor!
@SmashJam sleep is for the birds! Enjoy those snuggles!!
Soooo...I did something completely idiotic yesterday...laughable...yet idiotic. So I'm still using dermoplast after using the bathroom because I'm still sore. Well, I decide I'd open the crotch up a little to assist the dermoplast getting in there...I sprayed my clit...it did not feel good!!! I was sooooo uncomfortable. I cannot believe I did such a dumb ass thing.
Kylie M.
Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015
Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018
@zande2016 same here - and the night sweats are insane (if/when I actually make it to the bedroom to sleep). So far supply hasnt' been a super issue (fx) but I'm thinking of going back on fenugreek because then at least my sweat smelled like maple syrup which was way more pleasant. Who diagnosed the lip tie? I have a feeling DS has one because his upper lip won't flange even with me trying to manually do it and we just can't get a deep enough latch.
Should we start a new BF board? It's gotten quite long and I'll admit i'm intimidated trying to catch up...
@kissableviv hope today goes better you are a great mom!
+1 for smelling bad lol
we are driving to my inlaws today for the weekend. the 3.5 hour drive just feels so daunting and overwhelming but im sure it will be okay. i definitely feel like i have become a homebody since having baby 2
Not so much BO but I do smell like milk and spit up. I’ve been doing laundry more frequently these days because of this. Although maybe i do taste a bit sour sometimes because LO makes some funny faces when starting to nurse. Gotta start wiping the boobs more often.
Luckily, they were able to give him a feeding of the colostrum I pumped this morning. This is great news as they were originally planning on giving it to him as a swab/mouth treatment. I’m hoping to finally have some skin to skin time later today. Maybe even be able to try nursing in the next day or two.