I've got baby showers on the brain and figured a few others might as well. Now that we're nearing halfway through, anyone start on the planning phase yet? Have you picked a theme? Done any Pinteresting? Anyone got juicy baby shower drama going on? Share below!
Ladybug - April 2013
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Re: Babyshower Thread
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Would it be weird if I threw my DF a babyshower? He really wants one, or really just a party celebrating the baby / him becoming a father. I had a baby shower with DD, but this is his first baby. His family's out of state, so we'd have it at his home state, making it just his family and friends. Plus almost my entire family's cut off anyway. So it would 100% be in his honor.
Idk if it's weird, I just want to do something nice for him and celebrate him becoming a father. He doesn't talk about it a lot but I know he really wants one.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
@kiwi2628 that sounds like a blast!
No drama on our side, just my mild annoyance. My mom just arbitrarily picked a date to fly out and throw me one, and my brother and his fiancée are coming then, too. We live across the country and she decided to do this without seeing if any one of my friends would even be around then. It's sweet of her, but she's just so much in her own bubble of excitement that she didn't really stop to think this one through. So, while I will be gracious and appreciate the gesture, I'm gonna feel super lame with like the 3 people that can probably attend (popular travel time out here.)
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
I'm probably gonna do a BBQ because he loves them and doesn't have many opportunities to do them since his family is out of state and this baby hates meat lol
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
With DD, I ended up doing all the work on my shower because my mom offered to throw it for me, sent out invitations and stuff, and then got sick the week of the party. So I ended up doing all the labor, but she was still considered hostess.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016
BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
@bel194 Good points!
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
I would do a joint shower so he can be part of it. I would think it's weird for a male baby shower but that's me.
ETA: I considered doing a sip-n-see, but wouldn't be able to do a BBQ in late October and I doubt his family would want to drive all that way for that.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Well, as for drama— I’ve got some major drama going on!
We live in CA and my Mom and sisters are out of state. My DH’s sister and brother both live in CA in our city. Sister in Law just bought a huge new house with beautiful yard. Everyone thought she would offer to throw a shower for us but she didn’t. When DH finally talked to her about it, she was cagey about dates but finally agreed. Then when my husband checked his phone later that night she texted she had “discussed it with her husband”, and that they could not host our shower. It’s so friggin weird! (Except that she called my MIL to tell her a few months ago that she’s jealous that we are having a baby. She’s 49 and won’t now get the chance.)
Also, have mentioned several times to my Mom (who lives in Texas) about no shower being planned and she hasn’t once offered to do anything! @chopchop25 although your mom didn’t check with you, at least she’s throwing you one!
So, question for you guys— my closest friends have not offered to throw us a shower. I’m a FTM and they know what a big deal it is for us! Is this strange? Seems like everyone else I know has showers thrown by their closest friends.
I’d really appreciate advice on this!
I'm so sorry to hear you haven't heard of any shower planning in the works. Is there no possibility that your friends are planning a surprise one and just doing a good job at keeping it from you?
That said, at the end of the day there is no requirement for anyone to host a shower, as upsetting as that can be for anyone hoping for one. I can certainly understand your SIL not wanting to host the shower if she cannot have biological children of her own at this point - I am sure that is something terribly hard for her, especially in watching your and her brother's joy and there's no way I would even broach the topic with her. Not sure her coping style, but I would give her some space IMO. That's just way too much to put on someone struggling with this reality. WAY too much.
At the end of the day, hoping your friends are secretly planning something nice for you!
Have you dropped any hints to your friends about wanting one?
@chopchop25 The story with SIL is a bit more complicated than I’ve explained here— she has been hostile towards me and DH for a while and downright cruel at times. She is married and has two children through marriage. But yes, we are definitely giving her space at the moment.
@SawyerRichardson Yes I have dropped hints, but maybe you are right? Maybe something is in the works.
Great to hear all all of your perspectives and thanks for sharing your thoughts.
My MIL is also throwing us one mid-August for DH’s side and our friends. Idk the theme for that one yet, but we will be doing a bbq diaper and beer party for DH as well on the same day. The ladies shower will be in one location and the diaper and beer party will be at my in-laws house. We have a lot of friends from out of town who will be coming in and thought it would be fun to have their Hs or SOs come too. Maybe you could do something like that @mytrueloves? I think the diaper and beer party is a fun idea to also celebrate the dad because he is part of this too. That wouldn’t seem gift grabby I don’t think. I’ve known people who have thrown their husband this type of party and I didn’t find it rude at all, I think it’s a great idea.
ETA question: is there a timeline that is considered “right” for throwing a shower? My MIL wants to throw one and I have no idea when it should happen or if that even matters.
I plan on getting married in July or August. Very small wedding, with a party after. I have all the house things I need, so if anyone asks what to get us for the wedding I'll suggest the baby registry instead. That way the party is for us, not me, so I won't feel as weird. To clarify, I wouldn't put anything on invites about registry, it would just be if people ask.
I'm really not sure. I just also think doing a wedding and a baby shower in the same summer is waaaaay too much. For me and for other people.
Its not drama per say, but does anyone think this is weird? For my wedding, my sister threw me one shower and my MIL threw me another. It looks like something similar is going to happen with the baby shower. Everyone gets along fine and my family went to my MIL's shower and visa versa for my wedding. What it really boils down to, is H's family is massive and my family is not (like, literally just my mom and sister). My sister gets super excited and loves to plan these things, but she also has limited resources, so I kept things on a small scale (had her invite close friends and my immediate in-laws and that was it), had it at my house, etc. If we were to combine into one shower, I feel like my sister's ideas would get washed out and she would ultimately be uncomfortable with how much my MIL would contribute from a financial standpoint. My sister and MIL also have very different party styles.
No one said anything about the shower situation at our wedding being awkward at all, and it seemed to work well. My BFF finds the whole situation awkward and thinks that someone is bound to feel left out from one or the other. Idk, I had never really thought about it. It seemed to work fine last time. Now I'm over thinking it since she brought it up, lol.
The only issue I would see is if I were invited to two showers for the same person I'd feel obligated to get two gifts and that could be perceived as tacky or gift grabby. I'd buy two gifts but they'd be smaller instead of one nice bigger gift that could've meant more. I'd bring that up if you do talk to them and any other concerns you'd have.
Long story short if you get two parties great it worked once it should work again(: if you get one bigger one it'll make you more comfortable and what you want. I think it's a win win
I agree that you (not anyone specific, just *you* in general) shouldn't ask someone to host a shower for you that's tacky.. you have to hope someone's wanting to throw you one.
What I was saying is like zwink1 mentioned her sister is planning to have one for her and her MIL might be as well, I don't think it'd be as bad to ask them to possibly try and combine it into one but I see that could also be perceived as tacky since she'd be intervening when she shouldn't.