May 2018 - FET

roisis · April 2018

Oh YAY!! I just a call from my GP's office and my pap results are clear and they're in the post to me. I was having the WORST thoughts about how long this could hold me up

For @northbeach3 and anyone else interested - attached is a pdf of the leaflet for Friends & Family that I got from my clinic (and gave to my mum). There is another side to it - but it's mostly contact info for my clinic so I've only attached the more general info.

Oh and did anyone else notice an influx of generically 'helpful' responses on threads today??! A suspicious amount of which mention Bio Tex? I had written a really snarky response to one but then thought I do not want to take on some evil big corporation - and so toned it down significantly!!!

ndz2018 · April 2018

@roisis YES! I did see "calli" something whatever its screen name is posting on every infertility thread! Like we have a hard enough time with this stuff as it is we don't need some clinic coming in and giving us explanations or advice ... If we're on these boards trust us we've googled it already. I wish you would have left the snarky response its makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when people bite back ;)but i understand why you toned it back

@SingleGeneMe Hoping your next lining check is closer to 8! Do they seem hopeful that its just time you need?

@mrsyng THANKS! I know once next week comes and I start PIO i'm gonna be like wow time flew by lol

@greenhillgirl Your transfer is co close!!! FX this is it for you:)

greenhillgirl · April 2018

roisis I'm so glad you got your test results. One less thing to worry about.

greenhillgirl · April 2018

Everything callisy posts is canned and wiped from the internet. So sketchy!

greenhillgirl · April 2018

roisis ndz2018 omg this person or bot is so weird. Every single recent Bump post is from them and if you google any of the posts they are word for word copied from other websites! It's creepy. They post on all the boards, not just infertility.

ndz2018 · April 2018

@greenhillgirl REALLY?!??! WTF?!?? So creepy!!

northbeach3 · April 2018

thanks so much for scanning that @roisis. honestly, it was helpful for me so that i could verbalize some of those sentiments to friends who often ask how to stay involved without becoming nosy. i'm happy to hear you're pap smear results got sent over! how's AF watch?

for those of you who've been on estrogen, what are the typical side effects? i'm getting over a cold and riding the crimson wave, so I don't know if my symptoms can be attributable to those or some to the estrogen. mostly, having some pretty unusual cramping feelings... but period isn't more heavy than usual.

roisis · April 2018

@northbeach3 Delighted I could help

No sign of AF. I've been looking through my calendar and she's been 8-14 days every cycle for the last year, so I'm trying not to stress, she has to arrive sometime. I just know that if I want a result by the time DH's 40th bday party comes around (which isn't necessary but I'd just really love to have!), she would need to arrive by this Sunday - which is unlikely. I think I need to plan things as if she's 2 weeks late and if she arrives earlier - bonus.

I don't remember any cramping on estrogen - but I am pretty sure someone recently posted about cramping - maybe in the AprilFET board? Or was it you @ndz2018?? I think the advice was that it can cause cramping but once you add the progesterone it balances out and eases up - does that sound familiar to anyone? (apologies if I got it wrong!)

@ndz2018 How are you getting on with the estrogen? Can I ask why your transfer is late in your cycle? I only ask as I think mine will be around ~CD18 but you've said you're past CD12 and your transfer is in 2 weeks - I'm just curious about different protocols?

How is everyone else on this fine morning?! (It's fine over here anyway

)

ndz2018 · April 2018

@roisis I thought my Transfer was pretty late in my cycle too! It’s on CD 25. So here’s why I think.. my doctor likes to do her patients transfers herself, and only does them on tues. Tue 5/1 will be CD18, maybe she feels that’s a little too soon?? Also I think since my cycle is manipulated with the estrogen it doesn’t matter? That’s my guess(( shrug )).

@northbeach3 Yup! I still have some light cramping not much but noticable.

roisis · April 2018

@ndz2018 Ah - that makes sense

I think I'd be happier if my doc wanted to do my transfer himself too, but it tends to be whichever doc is on that day. Luckily I've met the 3 surgeons in my clinic at this stage and I like them all

ndz2018 · April 2018

@roisis We’ve both been waiting forever for this... what’s a few more days

right? plus I kinda feel like it gives me one more weekend to get my things to do before transfer done!

roisis · April 2018

@ndz2018 Indeed

Hmm, I just found out that I got accepted to a conference in Spain at the end of June. While this is good news - and should appease my boss (I have not been an exemplary employee over the last year) I'm suddenly quite apprehensive about it. I went to this particular conference at the same time last year in Atlanta - only my third time over your side of the pond!

**TW below**
My last (first) ivf cycle had me 7 wks pg going over last June. I had my u/s just before going and got all levels of advice on the doc who said there was absolutely no problem in me going. So DH came with me and we had a lovely time (even stopped off in NYC for a few days). But as soon as I came home everything went wrong. All medical persons have told me this was coincidence and logically I believe them, but emotionally this is now a bit scary. Of course I'm not even pg this time - even though I hope to be - so I know I'm getting waaaay ahead of myself!! Just my mind racing along all the possibilities I guess - which is definitely a thing I do. Anyway, there's not much advice I can ask for, I suppose I just keep going with all things as planned and deal with whatever situation I have come June. It's the same as planning holidays I guess, but in this case I just have a little fear of history repeating itself
I hope this wasn't upsetting - I just know you guys can understand these anxieties, and I can't explain it to anyone at work

kristimh80 · April 2018

@roisis Awe I completely understand your fears! I also miscarried in June 2016...even then when it was happening...I was in complete denial and always wonder if I had done things differently, would it had changed anything. I wish there was something we could do, but usually it's out of our control. I remember my doctor telling me that usually it had something to do with the baby having a defect and body was protecting me. Even all their knowledge never made it feel any better. If you can, try not to overthink it all right now and just enjoy everything that is happening right now. Sounds like your boss thinks highly of you to want you to go...so you must be doing a lot better than you think you are

ASabelko · April 2018

@roisis Thanks for sharing that pamphlet!

I start my protocol this weekend for a late May transfer and I am sooo nervous. I don't know why but I've got knots all up in my stomach - blech. I think it's just a rush of emotions coming back from our fail transfer in February, so I'm sure I'll be fine but man this is hard. I didn't think I was going to have such an emotional shift this early in the cycle.

I've got tons of plans to keep my mind occupied over the weekend - Avengers, a soccer game with my bestie, time off! I'm trying to come up with a list of things to help the next few weeks fly by -- anyone have some great springtime ideas?

kristimh80 · April 2018

@ASabelko Yay for everything getting started!!! It's understandable to be nervous...I know I will be as well! I wish I had a lot of ideas for you! We go to concerts, I find myself doing "retail therapy" a lot and working in my yard trying to keep my mind off it all.

dragonette505 · April 2018

*lurking*
roisis Ugh... I do the same thing... I cant help but connect the fact that I travelled and then (tw) had an mc a couple years ago... of course it had nothing to do with my uterine septum that just got removed! I also have travel plans in June, and I'm not changing a durn thing right now... the future is so uncertain... I'm going to wait a while before I freak out over that! One step at a time

I feel like ive spent the past 3 years cancelling and putting off things and I'm trying not to do that

greenhillgirl · April 2018

roisis ndz2018 omg this person or bot is so weird. Every single recent Bump post is from them and if you google any of the posts they are word for word copied from other websites! It's creepy. They post on all the boards, not just infertility.

northbeach3 my side effects from Estrogen include moodiness, like irritability and emotional, some headaches, fatigue, and diarrhea. It's fun

ndz2018 my doctor definitely only does transfers on tuesday. They time for whichever tuesday you will be ready near. It's weird they wouldn't tell you that though and you would have to guess.

Tonight I start my PIO injections and take my antibiotics. Wish me luck. I'm doing all my injections myself again this time since DH works nights and I'm going to do my 1/2 hour heating pad/massage pillow alternating. I didn't have any lumps or problems walking doing that last time like lots of others complained about.

I'm happy I decided to take Tuesday-Thursday of next week as vacation and just relax, working only Monday and Friday.

Orlaa · April 2018

@greenhillgirl that's great that you got your transfer date. Not long to go now.

@northbeach3 Planning for the future is one of the (many) things about IF that drives me crazy. Both me and my SO are off for the month of August each year, and I love travelling to all different parts of the world but for the past three years we've decided to play it safe and stay close to home just in case I happened to be pregnant. After my MC last month I was determined to go and book some far-off holiday but my SO didn't think we should risk it. On top of which I'm now thinking if I have to start a whole new cycle it might be best to do it then.

I have an even bigger dilemma now due to work. When I first started TTC I had to commute for at least an hour and a half each way to get to work. I could easily have found something closer to home but of course I figured there was no point since I expected to be pregnant within months.
Eventually after two years I realised I was being ridiculous and in September I started a new job just 10 minutes from home.
Problem is I'm not very happy there, the atmosphere isn't great and the boss is awful but I figured since it's so close I'd just put up with it. But at the weekend I randomly got a job offer from a place I applied to 2 years ago. It's just as close to home and they're offering somewhat better conditions. They'd like me to come for an couple of days to try out and now I don't know what to do as I would like to do another round of IVF this summer if the FET doesn't work.

@roisis that must have been such a relief to have the pap test sorted. I was actually worried about the same thing. Over here you have to have it within a year and my last one was the 17th of May so I was worried I wouldn't have the FET in time. My plan was to not mention it to them and hope they wouldn't notice. Ridiculous of course. But now it looks like I'll have the transfer done before then. As for travelling while pregnant it's more my SO who worries about it now. After my losses in that I couldn't think of anything that I'd done out of the ordinary and therefore it made me feel there was nothing I could do either way. So now I feel we should just plan ahead without worrying about the what ifs because I don't think it'll change the final outcome. There's also a part of me now that feels like I'll never be lucky enough to make it to that point anyway

This year has been crazy for pregnancy announcements, every 2-3 weeks there's a new one. I guess with the whole IVF rollercoaster I'm finding it much harder than before. Just when I manage to get my mind focused on other things and focused on the positives, I hear someone's good news and I feel like I'm back to square one.
I sometimes think back to life pre-TTC and wonder at how much happier I was although I didn't actually have anything more that I do now, if that makes sense. Like the sadness of IF seems to taint everything.

Anyway I'm rambling on. I had my first scan. CD 9, I've a 16mm follicle but my lining is only 6.3 so I go back on Saturday to see how it's going. In theory I should be doing a trigger shot on Monday and if so the transfer will be one week later on May 7th.

kristimh80 · April 2018

@Orlaa Your new job maybe exactly what you need! The worst thing ever is the be stressed due to being unhappy at work, esp while going thru treatments. There's been times where I almost accepted a new job, but luckily I have an amazing boss and work group, and knew it would be a mistake. Though, for you, it maybe a great new start

As for the constant pregnancy announcements...I feel the exact same way! I try to be happy for everyone, but after awhile it catches up and I find myself feeling extremely down and discouraged. Always asking a lot of "why's". It's esp hard because all my husband's sisters have 2-3 kids and we feel like outsiders.

roisis · April 2018

Woo-Hoo - so lots of the May ladies are getting going now

@ASabelko Yay for getting started on your protocol. I think getting nervous/emotional is perfectly normal at this stage. Regarding things to move time along, I know some people like to take on a project to keep their mind busy - I've heard of people spending the month learning a new language, or there's Spring-cleaning (personally - that's not for me!!), reading a series of books? I found doing a really tough jigsaw was an amazing distrationg during a cycle - it's amazingly relaxing. Personally, I've been meaning to start playing my violin again - I'm really out of practice so I think doing a little every evening for the month would give me a sense of accomplishment. Any old pastimes/hobbies anyone would like to re-visit?

@greenhillgirl Good luck with the PIO! How did you get on with it? I've never taken it myself so I can't offer any advice but I've seen lots of people say that a warming pad helps a lot. You've Got This

@Orlaa A new job sounds wonderful!! I know completely how hard it can be to start something new in the middle of all this, but this sounds like a wonderful opportunity - and if you're unhappy where you are, I'd definitely take the new chance. I also have a 2 hour commute each way and it's no fun (house prices in Dublin are insane - but that's where all the jobs are....). A new job and new daily routine could be just the thing for you right now. And I agree with you about planning ahead without worrying about the ifs - but this doesn't mean it won't happen for you. Don't lose hope yet

@kristimh80 @dragonette505 (and everyone) Thanks ladies. It's hard after a loss not to think back and think 'what if?', but I'm trying to think forwards instead, as much as I can!. I had a good chat with DH about the trip last night and he's definitely coming with me which makes me more relaxed about it. We're going to go over a few days early and make a holiday out of it - if I'm pg we'll have a nice time and if I'm not we'll have a nice time and drink lots of wine

We hadn't actually planned a holiday this year, which I did feel a bit down about, so now I feel like this holiday opportunity has been put to us and sure we have to go for it! (pity about the 'work' part

)

Orlaa · April 2018

@kristimh80 and @roisis Yes I've pretty much decided that if the FET doesn't work I'll take the new job.
It's mostly awkward due to the maternity leave here in Italy (which is amazing and I'm certainly not complaining about). But basically the doctor puts you on early maternity leave from the 12th week of pregnancy if they consider your work to be of any kind of risk to the pregnancy. This covers a huge range of things, for example if you're on your feet most of the day that's considered a risk. In my case, working with young children is considered risky because of the possibility of getting certain infections and so on.
They also put you on early maternity if the pregnancy itself is considered risky and typically this would include someone who has suffered multiple losses. Many doctors don't even wait 12 weeks, they put you on sick leave for a few weeks until the early maternity kicks in.
So basically I'd feel pretty bad if I started a new job in July knowing that we'd be trying round 2 of IVF soon after. However I'd hate to have to delay the IVF since I've no idea how many tries it's going to take.

@kristimh80 I get the feeling like outsiders thing. It's especially hard when you'd love so much to be part of it all.

@roisis that's nice that you get to turn your trip into a holiday. It definitely helps to have things to look forward too. This isn't quite the same thing but a few weeks ago I decided to try laser hair removal. After the first treatment I realised you're not supposed to have it done during pregnancy. My next appointment is on May the 15th so I thought well if the FET doesn't work at least I get to be hair-free

We're going to Tuscany for the long weekend, heading off right after my appointment tomorrow morning so I'll probably have to pack the trigger shot with me.

Wishing everyone a fabulous weekend

roisis · April 2018

@orlaa Wow that is great - but admittedly awkward - maternity cover! So you'd be basically off for the duration of your pregnancy and for ~6 months afterwards? I can see why you'd be apprehensive about starting a new job in that case, but at the end of the day, it's what the government discerns you're entitled to and you're not going in under any false pretenses, so don't feel too guilty if you start and then get really happy news. Plenty of people start jobs and then get pregnant, I don't believe our situations should add any extra guilt in such cases

I've never tried laser hair removal - I hear it's painful! But I hope you're all hairy and pregnant by the middle of next month

Btw - I love your avatar pic

I take it that's your handsome doggo looking all majestic!!

kristimh80 · April 2018

@Orlaa Oh wow! That makes so much more sense now!! Now I understand a lot more why you'd be so hesitant. But you know what, I'm sure it won't be the 1st or last time it's happened to a company. Especially, being that the laws are how they are. I hope whatever path you take, you're happy

If you get pregnant this next cycle...just think how you can be out of that crazy office even sooner!

greenhillgirl · April 2018

roisis Thanks it went well. I don't think I got the best spot cause the shot hurt and it bled some but I got the stuff in there and felt kind of weird so it worked. I swear by my half hour of heating pad and massage pillow alternating. Mine is kind of like this and was $35 at Rite Aid. https://www.homedics.com/3d-shiatsu-vibration-massage-pillow-with-heat.html

@Orlaa I know what you mean about the job searching although my situation is slightly different. I feel I am being underpaid and had asked for a promotion but didn't get it. My commute is a bit over an hour each way. I had a second phone interview two days ago for a job I'm super interested in and have been searching in general. I would end up starting there and theoretically working for 7 1/2 to 8 months, then take a few months of maternity leave tops, and go back to work. If anyone adjusts their work schedule after that it will be my husband mwah hah. I worry about starting a job and shortly after being pregnant and also taking on the responsibility at my level of senior management and balancing everything. But I also had a boss at one point who complained about someone who took maternity, stayed for 6+ months, and then left. I thought that was kind of ridic. I guess you can't win.

I was considering just telling them from the beginning in person and if they want to not hire me and pretend its for another reason, that's fine. Technically its illegal, but I just want to be happy at my job. I would rather be at a place that can see the long term and value my contribution, even if I'm out for a while.

northbeach3 · April 2018

ack, so much has happened since yesterday! i've been travelling for a conference, so a bit behind on the updates... but it looks like things are picking up. can't believe it's almost your transfer day, @greenhillgirl!

*waves to @Orlaa* yeah, i think i've decided to just move forward with planning our vacation and will manage with wherever i'm at in july or for other events. it makes me more anxious to not to plan, so if i happen to be pregnant at that time, i'l find other ways to cope/manage with whatever is happening. i sometimes try to remind myself that women have been pregnant/giving birth since the dawn of time and their fetus probably survived way more serious stuff than i might be exposed to like flying on a plane. i try to remind myself that i can only do so much and things will play out the way they do. in any event, i'm so jealous of Italy's policies around pregnancy and absolutely understand your consideration of what it would mean to switch jobs. also jealous of your trip to Tuscany... bellissima! where in Italy do you live? also, be sure to add yourself to our May FET spreadsheet so we can keep up with your cycle / transfer!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/17ky8aRPczvDEAdQR5BCB535e5ZsVftlSUG79sT08EuM/edit#gid=0

@rosis -- sounds like we're having similar travel related anxieties, but you definitely have as a reminder your last travel being associated with loss. whether or not it's rational, it's understandable to have those fears. man, IF sucks and can be a total mindfuck! blergh

AFM, i was worried about having to do my E2 shot on my own while travelling. i did my first self-administered butt shot on Tuesday without incident... i also learned that you can travel with syringes for medication, you just need to take them out at screening. i've been using the hotel ice bucket to keep my E2 cool. haha... have to keep the privacy sign on the door knob, though. had fear that the housekeeper would empty the ice bucket and throw away my estrogen! no one's mentioned flatulence as a side effect to the E2, but i'm having some serious gas... have had way more bloating and while farting provides some relief, seems like it only makes room for more air! good thing i'm alone in my hotel room. HAHA, sorry for the TMI.

Orlaa · April 2018

@northbeach3 that's funny about the gas

I guess the meds affect everyone differently.
As for the injections I was worried about doing my first IM progesterone shot but soon got used to it (my SO is a total sissy and refused to help).
I live in the north of Italy between Milan and Como, about a 30 minute drive each way.
Tuscany is amazing, we book an apartment on airbnb in a little medieval village in the hills, I'm in heaven

@roisis Yes that's my lab Sonny

we got him last year and I'm smitten!
The standard maternity here is 5 months and would typically be 2 months before, 3 months after birth so you can return to work when the baby is 3 months old. There's also an optional 6 months extra paid at 30%.
I found laser hair removal less painful than waxing, just a zing of pain in one tiny spot at a time.

@kristimh80 and @greenhillgirl Yes I'll definitely accept the job offer if the FET doesn't work. I've learned it's best not to plan things around theoretical future pregnancies. Also we're not supposed to be discriminated against for getting pregnant so technically it shouldn't be held against me anyway.

I had my second scan. Lining is 7.9 and the follicle is 19mm. Trigger shot has been moved to Tuesday with transfer one week later. I'm a bit worried I might ovulate by myself in the meantime so I'm testing with opks just to be sure.

kristimh80 · April 2018

@Orlaa Good thinking! You’ve got a good size follicle already going. Plus I guess if you do before then can let your doctor know so can plan accordingly. I’ve never I’m done a natural FET, so I admit I’m a little clueless

northbeach3 · April 2018

for those of you who've done the estrogen, do you still have similar changes in mucus that you would typically have in a natural cycle? just trying to monitor changes in my CM and it's been so long since i did the CM tracking, i've forgotten what to expect! haha

dragonette505 · April 2018

**lurking**
northbeach3 Not exactly the same kind of CM changes... I think because we start taking a fairly regular dose so it doesn't build up to a peak like on a natural cycle. Also it depends on if you start the FET with a natural ovulation or with suppressed ovaries. This past fet for me started with a suppressed cycle so there was no real build up. Once I stopped suppression I got CM (I did look at it under a microscope and it showed a typical ferning pattern. HTH.

greenhillgirl · April 2018

northbeach3 with estrogen pills I get crazy cm. Thick, and lots of it and then watery and lots of it. Yay.

I had my monitoring appointment to confirm I'm good to go for my transfer tomorrow. Everything looked good. They're usually super fast, but it was so crowded and slow today I had to cancel a morning meeting and rolled in to work at 10:15. Oh well- sometimes these things put things in perspective. This is me not caring at all- sorry, not sorry.

I'm so happy I'm taking three vacation days this week. Work is killing me and I just generally have a bad attitude.

kristimh80 · April 2018

@northbeach3 I got CM when on estrogen. It wasn't all the time...it seemed to randomly come and go. Then when started progesterone, I left and was the complete opposite

roisis · April 2018

@greenhillgirl OMG - transfer already!!! Wow - I forgot you were so far along - Yay!! Best of luck

@northbeach3 I don't remember CM issues last time - but I seem to remember nothing at all from last time

AFM - still no sign of AF *grrrrrrrrrrr*

ndz2018 · April 2018

@greenhillgirl KICKIN THE MAY FET OFF!!!! FX everything goes perfect tomorrow!!

@roisis Come on AF !! Sending my bloodiest thoughts lol

northbeach3 · April 2018

@greenhillgirl eeek! i can't believe your day is finally here! big plans for transfer day? netflix binges? are you doing the pineapple core, brazil nuts, and socks regimen? sending you sticky womb thoughts and fx for easy thawing.

how are you holding up, @ndz2018 ? what cycle day are you on? you'll be up next!!

@roisis ack, still no AF? that sucks majorly... do you typically have irregular/late periods? will you go in for monitoring shortly after AF?

thanks to everyone who commented on their CM... haha! yes, mine's been particularly thick/gooey... i think that's the only reason i noticed a difference. also still feeling a bit bloated/gassy. hope this means i'm getting a PHAT LINING!

my current mood is... still excited/optimistic... but i'm waiting for it to turn a corner. i feel like the closer i get to transfer, i start putting up the protective walls and become way guarded.

mrsyng · April 2018

@greenhillgirl good luck with transfer tomorrow!!

@roisis I’m with you!! Nothing here too!!

AFM, today has not been a great day! From people tailgating me to work, the department either misplaced my promotional application or all together sent my confirmation to a different email address with no way of finding out since no one is responding to calls/emails!! And AF is nowhere in sight!! 3 going on 4 days late!!! Do I really need to do a AF dance of some sort?

Update: found my email confirmation for work! Don’t know how it was missed even after a manual search! Goes to show how not having AF is affecting me!

kristimh80 · April 2018

@greenhillgirl Happy Transfer Day eve!!

@mrsyng Hang in there! My AF before my last transfer was a week late as well. FX it's here soon for you!

ndz2018 · April 2018

@northbeach3 Holding up ok. Had a rough weekend. Tomorrow morning is my next monitoring app and as long as all look good I’ll be starting PIO on Thursday for transfer next Tue 5/8.

@mrsyng Ugh sorry about the stressful day but glad you found the email!! I remember when i was waiting to start IVF my AF was almost 10 days late! Hang in there it’s coming! And I’d love to see that AF dance

roisis · May 2018

@ndz2018 HA!! Thanks - I like that

It looks like I'm getting slight spotting this morning, which generally means it's on its way, but it could be a good few days yet before full flow.
@northbeach3 Yup - they've always been late, ever since I was a teenager. Looking back that proabbly should have always twigged more of a worry in me - but what did I care back then!! It's weird, I spent so many months in recent years on hormones - such as Letrozole/puregon injectibles with TI - and I think they actually regulated me a bit. Now I've found that not being on anything while waiting to get going with ivf cycles seems to have made me really irregular again. Once I start they don't want to see me until CD12.
I can completely understand you getting more guarded as transfer approaches - it's all getting very real

@mrsyng I totally feel you!! Sorry you're having a rough day, I really hope things get better - I find this waiting to get going is so frustrating and other things are just falling apart around me! I'm 9 days late today and even though I told myself that I 'knew' it would be late and not to stress - I am totally stressed out. I've so much work to do and I don't give a sh*te about it!! And this is all before I've started hormones!!

ndz2018 · May 2018

Ok! Lining looks good at 10.3! Just waiting for the nurse to call today with instructions

!

@greenhillgirl HAPPY TRANSFER DAY!!

roisis · May 2018

@ndz2018 Yay for a great lining

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