Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Random Ransoms (3/5)
"Hey guise, It's kfren. Today is 3/8/18 and I am most definitely with child!"
@2589 Yeah, super creepy!
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
On having things ready- don't hate me but I'm pretty much all set because we had all the stuff already from closely spaced babies. We even still had the crib set up from when DS moved to his big boy bed. DD was a summer baby so we have all the clothes for another summer girl.
The first 2 times I was much less prepared but baby doesn't need much the first couple months.
We're on to you @kfren
Seriously, Internet creepers are the reason I don't post pics on here or like... what state I live in...
Maybe it's paranoia but yeah... unsettling.
In other news, today I had to get on my knees, on the floor to plug in my phone charger at work to the outlet under my desk. I can't bend at the waist any more.
Someone please send me warm weather so I can wear my slip on shoes outside.
SNEAKERS HOWEVER oh my god, the struggle.
Also compression socks? It's an effing joke they reco pregnant women ever use those. Take forever to put on and take off.
And I always start typing maythefourth when I try to tag @May14th2011 too!
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
And yes to the weather needs to (consistently) warm up so we can all just wear flip flops. Because boots and tennis shoes suck to put on right now. It was 72 here yesterday afternoon and then it rained all morning. Typical California weather being drunk and needing to go home.
@krashke I might have teared up just watching the preview! So dang relatable. I also cried watching Wonder the other night. Specifically the scene where they send their son to school for the first time (just imagining send DS to school in the future...hormones, I tell ya).
@kfren People are coocoo bananas to fake a pregnancy just for an online forum. Like you guys said, what on earth would you get out of that?
Re: planning for baby, I also feel so behind. Having kids so close together is interesting because I have a lot of things to reuse but a lot of the big stuff is still in use and I think I'm going to end up buying multiples (i.e. crib, monitor, high chair). But I'm waiting since we won't need those things right away and keeping the nursery as a guestroom for grandparents coming for the birth. We have DS's infant carseat and bassinet (full disclosure: its been hanging out in our bedroom since DS stopped using it a year ago!) and I feel like that's all we really need at the very beginning.
.... annnnd i got busy this afternoon with meetings. and wanted to hurry and get some stuff done this last half hour. but now I need to go read up about this creepy nonpregnant lady instead. wtf?! Really hope none of you are that crazy.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
@doxiemoxie212 @krashke omg 100% I always start typing maythefourth for @May14th2011 too! And for some reason I always want to type augustina for @Austenista
Not to continue to rub warm weather in your faces, but it's 82 here so I stopped for ice cream and there were 2 other women in front of me, all 3 of us very clearly pregnant. We got a good chuckle out of it.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
+1 to difficulty bending over and also turning. This has only happened in the past week for me.
I'm definitely ready for warmer weather, but the cold didn't stop me from getting a Sonic milkshake last night (half price after 8 y'all!)
DS born 9/24/2020
But I really came here to say I may not be on that much if at all this weekend and next week. I'll be visiting with my mother over the weekend and making my parents some dinners they can just stick in the oven/reheat so they don't have to worry about that when they're home. Next week I'm back to classes, so between that and things with my mum, I wouldn't bank on being around.
Just didn't want you guys to think I dropped off the face of the Earth.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023