I’m also expecting my rainbow baby, so I’m joining you guys here. I’ve been reading through all your stories and I’m so moved by everything you’ve all gone through.
I had a MMC in July sometime between 6 weeks and 9 weeks. Went in for my dating ultrasound at what should have been 6 weeks, and they just saw a sac measuring about 5 weeks. They told me my dates must have been off, and to come back in 3 weeks for another ultrasound. I knew better, because I had been tracking when I ovulated, but I allowed myself to stay mostly positive and ignorant in the three weeks until the follow up ultrasound. When I went back, they confirmed there was still just an empty sac and no growth, so I had a D&C a few days later. Apparently my body hadn’t gotten the memo, as my hcg was 67,000 and I hadn’t had any bleeding or cramping or anything.
It’s really incredible to hear all of your stories and know that there’s a group here who knows what I’m feeling. I’m so sorry for those of you who haven’t gotten good news recently. Hopefully we all get our take home babies. I’m really appreciative to be here right now, and hope to stay and get to know you all.
@artemis618 FX everything looks great next week. SCH are pretty common. I know a couple of people in my personal life that dealt with them.
Tomorrow is my first ultrasound. I think everything will go well, but its scary because if there is bad news I wonder if this means surgery and if we also have to cancel vacation. Obviously, I want the baby more than vacation, but I am just thinking it will make the loss that much harder to grieve. Here's to waiting another 24 hours to find out.
@Katm89 good luck at your ultrasound! I'm sure all will go perfectly- try not to worry about the what ifs. That's not a fun rabbit hole to be going down. Happy thoughts- vacation and a baby!
@Katm89 Thanks - unfortunately I continued to bleed more heavily yesterday, and I’m still crampy and bleeding red (though lower volume so far) today. I’d have felt better if they’d found a SCH to explain the bleeding, but they didn’t . I just hope the crampy/bleeding stops soon (without the pregnancy stopping - if it hasn’t already)!
GL with your ultrasound! Try not to worry - unless I missed something, there’s no reason to believe this one won’t be great!
About me: Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2 ***TW***
Natural BFP 8/10/16 --> mc our NIPT-normal little girl at 11w5d on 10/1/16 As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10 Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B) IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal) IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal) **New RE** IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!) FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17 IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal) Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts) IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals) FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231) Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
----- TFAS! FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
Thank you everyone!
@artemis618 fingers crossed for you!
So I finally had another beta drawn today and it actually increased since Friday from 423.3 to 476.2. I am not really sure why it increased, especially since I have been bleeding since this weekend.....ugh....so now I have to go for an ultrasound on Friday and then an appointment with OB. Anyone experience anything like this?
@MelissaMay82 I don't want to worry you but with my ectopic my levels were wonky like that. Has your bleeding been nonstop and heavy like you'd expect a normal m/c?
@acunamatada that is what I am worried about. The bleeding has been on and off (kind of like a lighter period) and bright red. It looks like I’m passing tissue and small clots. I have been having some cramping (like a dull ache) on both sides but more on the left.
@MelissaMay82 yeah, my bleeding was intermittent too. It was a weird flow and different color, that was my first sign. Plus some right sided pain. *TW* My hcg never made it above like 450 but because they couldn't see it on u/s definitively say it was EP and diagnosed me with a m/c when much levels started to fall (which they did-a lot). But I ended up with a freak rupture when my levels fell to around 55. I would definitely push for more betas if you can, if it continues to rise slowly or go up and down thats usually a bad sign. If there's any silver lining, your levels would be low enough for MTX to be totally successful. I sincerely hope it's not an EP, they're a special kind of hell. If you have any really bad cramping or start to feel dizzy or lightheaded or have any shoulder tip pain definitely go to the ER, even if you think it's nothing. I thought I was just having a bad m/c when I was actually internally bleeding and lost over 2L. I'm sorry for the novel. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please go easy on yourself. ETA TW
@MelissaMay82 I had slow rising hcg with my loss. I had multiple ultrasounds that looked on track but my hcg was taking a week+ to double so it's not necessarily the worst case scenario of ectopic. Thinking of you and hoping you get answers soon.
Feeling some anxiety tonight. I know it's minor, but my boobs are less sore today, almost not at all. And I still am having really vague achey cramping. I just got this feeling of minor dread as today went on. Tomorrow is 5 weeks. I freaking HOPE everything is fine with the rainbow baby and I'm just being a paranoid polly.
@MelissaMay82 I had slow rising hcg with my loss. I had multiple ultrasounds that looked on track but my hcg was taking a week+ to double so it's not necessarily the worst case scenario of ectopic. Thinking of you and hoping you get answers soon.
Did you see a heart beat with your loss? We just saw a heartbeat yesterday but my hcg levels are on the slower end of normal.
@MelissaMay82 I had slow rising hcg with my loss. I had multiple ultrasounds that looked on track but my hcg was taking a week+ to double so it's not necessarily the worst case scenario of ectopic. Thinking of you and hoping you get answers soon.
Did you see a heart beat with your loss? We just saw a heartbeat yesterday but my hcg levels are on the slower end of normal.
Yes I did @Lelo2006. I think at an ultrasound around six weeks we saw a heartbeat of just over 100. I miscarried at 7 weeks.
@MelissaMay82 I had slow rising hcg with my loss. I had multiple ultrasounds that looked on track but my hcg was taking a week+ to double so it's not necessarily the worst case scenario of ectopic. Thinking of you and hoping you get answers soon.
Did you see a heart beat with your loss? We just saw a heartbeat yesterday but my hcg levels are on the slower end of normal.
Yes I did @Lelo2006. I think at an ultrasound around six weeks we saw a heartbeat of just over 100. I miscarried at 7 weeks.
Hello all, I am pregnant with my rainbow following my miscarriage a year ago. I have one 5 year old who I had no complications with so naturally I thought my second pregnancy would be the same. I was 6w1d when I miscarried and they found no real explanation as to why other than low progesterone which I didn't know until the mc was complete. We tried for 14 months before getting pregnant with our rainbow and we have both been incredibly nervous while waiting for our first sono. Dr brought me in for progesterone and hcg levels as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test. I should have been 5 weeks, my hcg was showing nearly 2 weeks behind and progesterone was very low. They immediately started supplementing me and decided to follow my hcg. Levels doubled in the first 48 hours but then slowed down and weren't doubling like they should have been. First sono today, according to LMP I should have been 9w2d and baby measured 7w3d, with a healthy heart beat of 153. So levels showed according to the pregnancy they just had no idea for obvious reasons. A lot more at ease now that I have seen the baby, but still a very scary time having had a miscarraige. So praying for all of you mama's who are expecting their rainbow!
All of a sudden I'm back feeling anxious today. I think it's seeing all the new ultrasounds and hearing the stats. I only got to see the heart, didn't get to hear it, and didn't get told how many BPM or how far along I'm measuring. This was just at a women's clinic, so I don't know if they just don't do that and if I have to wait for when I choose an OB or what, but I wish it was on my mind to ask, because now I'm feeling like I missed something big, which I know is silly.
All of a sudden I'm back feeling anxious today. I think it's seeing all the new ultrasounds and hearing the stats. I only got to see the heart, didn't get to hear it, and didn't get told how many BPM or how far along I'm measuring. This was just at a women's clinic, so I don't know if they just don't do that and if I have to wait for when I choose an OB or what, but I wish it was on my mind to ask, because now I'm feeling like I missed something big, which I know is silly.
I’d feel the same. I hate forgetting to ask questions. When is your next appointment
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
All of a sudden I'm back feeling anxious today. I think it's seeing all the new ultrasounds and hearing the stats. I only got to see the heart, didn't get to hear it, and didn't get told how many BPM or how far along I'm measuring. This was just at a women's clinic, so I don't know if they just don't do that and if I have to wait for when I choose an OB or what, but I wish it was on my mind to ask, because now I'm feeling like I missed something big, which I know is silly.
Hugs, lady. I know all this stuff and still feel incredibly anxious. Loss moms can’t win. Thinking of you ❤️
@bdesterhouse I don't know. I have to pick a midwife, then I assume I'll come in for something. I was planning to call to set up an initial appointment after Thankagiving.
@christycalifornia they should have your visit on file. Can you call and ask them to look over the ultrasound and notes listed and give you the BPM and weeks you measured at?
Well, sadly the bleeding got worse and continued for the last four days (and is still going). By Wednesday morning I knew it was over - I was going to try to get in earlier so I could at least stop my meds in case they were drawing it out, but it just didn’t work out. I was able to go in this morning and the Dr. (another RE) confirmed that there was no longer a sac. Not shocking at this point, but still *really* disappointing.
So feeling all the things I wrote before. We have a WTF call with our RE on Tuesday - we’re leaning toward doing one more retrieval (this would be the 5th, not counting my egg freezing) just because at my age (40) it really feels like now or never to make embryos. As I mentioned before, it feels so much like a numbers game with which we have really terrible luck. I know that PGS testing isn’t perfect, but again this felt like it was our best shot. It’s all just very frustrating and disappointing.
I wish the rest of you nice, boring uneventful pregnancies
About me: Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2 ***TW***
Natural BFP 8/10/16 --> mc our NIPT-normal little girl at 11w5d on 10/1/16 As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10 Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B) IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal) IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal) **New RE** IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!) FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17 IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal) Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts) IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals) FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231) Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
----- TFAS! FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
That’s different @christycalifornia I don’t see midwives. I have an OB, so is that pretty standard, or is it bc you’re new?
I haven't seen a midwife yet, this was a nurse practitioner at a women's clinic. From what I know of friends who have had midwives, they do everything an OB does, so hoping when I see them I'll get better answers. Also, I'm glad you told everyone and it went great!
@artemis618 Oh, love. I'm so sorry. I was so hopeful for you. Take care, be gentle with yourself. I hope you get your rainbow soon. So much love for you; I am grateful to know you, and am so sorry for your loss.
Oh, @artemis618 I am so sad to read this. I was so hopeful for you after your scare the other day. Hope you get some good answers from your RE. Take care of yourself.
Meagan Married 6.12.10 DS 11.8.12 Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
But I'm freaking the F out. Spotting tonight, and I have no recent sex or US to blame it on. Trying to decide on going to the ER or waiting until morning. I don't know what to do.
Re: Rainbow Babies... post may trigger some.
I had a MMC in July sometime between 6 weeks and 9 weeks. Went in for my dating ultrasound at what should have been 6 weeks, and they just saw a sac measuring about 5 weeks. They told me my dates must have been off, and to come back in 3 weeks for another ultrasound. I knew better, because I had been tracking when I ovulated, but I allowed myself to stay mostly positive and ignorant in the three weeks until the follow up ultrasound. When I went back, they confirmed there was still just an empty sac and no growth, so I had a D&C a few days later. Apparently my body hadn’t gotten the memo, as my hcg was 67,000 and I hadn’t had any bleeding or cramping or anything.
It’s really incredible to hear all of your stories and know that there’s a group here who knows what I’m feeling. I’m so sorry for those of you who haven’t gotten good news recently. Hopefully we all get our take home babies. I’m really appreciative to be here right now, and hope to stay and get to know you all.
Tomorrow is my first ultrasound. I think everything will go well, but its scary because if there is bad news I wonder if this means surgery and if we also have to cancel vacation. Obviously, I want the baby more than vacation, but I am just thinking it will make the loss that much harder to grieve. Here's to waiting another 24 hours to find out.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're out, @MelissaMay82. Please take care of yourself.
@Mack2342, fingers crossed for this time.
@artemis618, what a mind trip--I hope things continue to get better!
Good luck tomorrow, @Katm89--I'll be thinking of you! I hear you on the vacation thoughts--I've had the same. Keeping my fx that it's good news!
GL with your ultrasound! Try not to worry - unless I missed something, there’s no reason to believe this one won’t be great!
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
*TW*
My hcg never made it above like 450 but because they couldn't see it on u/s definitively say it was EP and diagnosed me with a m/c when much levels started to fall (which they did-a lot). But I ended up with a freak rupture when my levels fell to around 55.
I would definitely push for more betas if you can, if it continues to rise slowly or go up and down thats usually a bad sign. If there's any silver lining, your levels would be low enough for MTX to be totally successful. I sincerely hope it's not an EP, they're a special kind of hell.
If you have any really bad cramping or start to feel dizzy or lightheaded or have any shoulder tip pain definitely go to the ER, even if you think it's nothing. I thought I was just having a bad m/c when I was actually internally bleeding and lost over 2L.
I'm sorry for the novel. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please go easy on yourself.
ETA TW
@comealongponds I hope that is my case too
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
I am pregnant with my rainbow following my miscarriage a year ago. I have one 5 year old who I had no complications with so naturally I thought my second pregnancy would be the same. I was 6w1d when I miscarried and they found no real explanation as to why other than low progesterone which I didn't know until the mc was complete. We tried for 14 months before getting pregnant with our rainbow and we have both been incredibly nervous while waiting for our first sono.
Dr brought me in for progesterone and hcg levels as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test. I should have been 5 weeks, my hcg was showing nearly 2 weeks behind and progesterone was very low. They immediately started supplementing me and decided to follow my hcg. Levels doubled in the first 48 hours but then slowed down and weren't doubling like they should have been. First sono today, according to LMP I should have been 9w2d and baby measured 7w3d, with a healthy heart beat of 153. So levels showed according to the pregnancy they just had no idea for obvious reasons. A lot more at ease now that I have seen the baby, but still a very scary time having had a miscarraige. So praying for all of you mama's who are expecting their rainbow!
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
Well, sadly the bleeding got worse and continued for the last four days (and is still going). By Wednesday morning I knew it was over - I was going to try to get in earlier so I could at least stop my meds in case they were drawing it out, but it just didn’t work out. I was able to go in this morning and the Dr. (another RE) confirmed that there was no longer a sac. Not shocking at this point, but still *really* disappointing.
So feeling all the things I wrote before. We have a WTF call with our RE on Tuesday - we’re leaning toward doing one more retrieval (this would be the 5th, not counting my egg freezing) just because at my age (40) it really feels like now or never to make embryos. As I mentioned before, it feels so much like a numbers game with which we have really terrible luck.
I wish the rest of you nice, boring uneventful pregnancies
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
DS 11.8.12
Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
But I'm freaking the F out. Spotting tonight, and I have no recent sex or US to blame it on. Trying to decide on going to the ER or waiting until morning. I don't know what to do.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.