4:45 central time! I'm SO NERVOUS!!! I don't even think I'll see anything because it's still so early. Hoping for a heartbeat, but trying to manage expectations. Thanks you two!
Thank you to all of you ladies for sharing your losses and stories. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers for a H&H pregnancy.
I was very reluctant to join the July 18 BMB. Even more reluctant to post because then that means I really did get a BFP.
My second pregnancy ended around 9 weeks and although my grandma, my mom, and Aunt all had MC, it still seems like it would never happen to us. I planned to get pregnant with my first in September 2014, and I did. I planned to get pregnant with my second in September 2015, and I did. Seemed perfect and we were beyond excited for our Irish twins. We told siblings and both parents at 8 weeks and asked that everyone keep it a secret for a while longer - though DHs family didn’t listen which is a whole other story. Anyways we went for the sono at 8 weeks and all looked good - baby measured 6.5 weeks instead of 8 which was the exact same thing with DS. I just assumed they were following in the exact same path. They had me come back at 9 weeks to do another sono to measure growth (same with DS) so we thought nothing of it. When we got the sono it looked like baby had stopped growing a few days before the this sono and I had a missed miscarriage. I had never even heard of a missed miscarriage, nor could I get over the fact that i still had all the symptoms of feeling pregnant for 2 more weeks before a d&c. It was a slap in the face to wake up in the morning still feeling pregnant and then remembering I really wasn’t. It was a complete shock and we were devastated.
We did have our rainbow baby on December ‘16 and are now expecting again. I’m 4w with a super faint positive that took almost 8 minutes to really appear and each day are becoming slightly more pronounced. I almost feel a little detached from this pregnancy and that deep down I know there will be heartbreak down the road. It is so hard to have confidence after going through a loss. I’m trying to take it each day at a time and hope I begin to get some symptoms.
I didn’t get any reassurance trying to make an appointment either. I know it’s early but I need late appointments and to find a babysitter for my other two so I called yesterday for an appointment. I absolutely LOVE my dr. but his receptionist? Not so much. When I called she said oh you are way too early for an appointment you haven’t even missed a period yet and I said I was supposed to get it yesterday and she was like it’s still too early. So I was like I already got a couple positive tests and she said it could just be positive since it’s so close to your period and told me if I don’t get my period by next Monday to call back for an appointment. I hung up baffled. If I don’t get my period by next Monday?!?! I get that mc happen often in the beginning but how are you going to tell a pregnant woman there’s still a chance she will get her period. A little sensitivity might have been nice... something like we dont take appointments until your 5+ weeks along would have satisfied me!
Anyways, I’m a rambler and DH keeps telling me everything’s fine and not to worry. I just feel like I have a gut instinct about it and the waiting game sucks!
Stickie babies to all you ladies and lots of love!!
@blondie1314 Thank you for sharing your story. I think you're in good rambler company here! Totally feel you on the waiting game. We're all holding hope for you.
@blondie1314 I can't believe that receptionist!! A false positive because of your period coming?? WOW. I know what you mean by not being so attached, I joined the BMB trying to get a little more attached and stay positive. FX for a sticky bean this time around!
@christycalifornia I’m in completely the same boat. Hubby was excited and told a few friends who told other friends. My in laws told the whole family and my grandma slipped and told some family. Apparently everyone loves to spread good news but not bad news. I had people congratulating me a week after my d&c because apparently it was up to us to tell everyone it ended even if we didn’t know they knew. Then my in laws told everyone but told them not to say anything to me so it was just a mess of who knew, who didn’t, who was avoiding saying stuff to us. Not fun.
And same ave with my husband he’s I said I’m nervous and don’t see it happening and he’s all like it’s fine it’s happening he’s telling our 10 month old she’s going to be a big sister. Taking about announcing at her birthday party and inside im trying to hold it together!!
@blondie1314 oh NO! That is a nightmare! I am so sorry! I never get why people feel like pregnancies are their news to share. What part of "We're only telling close family and friends" do people not understand?!?
So sorry to those who have gone through a loss. I have issues woth early pregnancy and we still haven't really found a cause. I have had two miscarriages and 4 chemical pregnancies, one MC at approx 8 weeks and the other closer to 6 weeks. Thankfully though in 2015 I had my IVF rainbow baby, and praying this will be my next rainbow baby
It is HARD to stay positive, but please try and enjoy your pregnancy. My biggest regret while being pregnant with my first is how much of a nervous wreck I was that I never stopped to really appreciate or enjoy it.
Guys. I finally got my 48 hr HCG test back and guess what, IT ALMOST TRIPLED! Still on the lower end, but a 99 to over 250 is not too shabby, I'd say. I feel like I might be able to start letting myself believe this is going to work out this time Sorry. I just have been bursting to share and nobody other than my husband knows, and I know you lovelies understand how big it is for our situations. So, thanks for dealing with me
@d_marie_23 Girl, NEVER say sorry for sharing good news!! We know that feeling! That's seriously amazing. I'm so happy for you, and thankful for the relief you must feel! Hooray!
Anyone else wish wish they would have waited to test? I’m only week 5 and already so impatient. I wish I was a cat. Their gestation is like six weeks. I’m ready for my rainbow baby. I’m ready for diapers, up all night, snuggles, late night feedings, did I say cuddles?? Most of all I am so ready to see my oldest be a big brother. He wants a sibling so bad.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
We could not have gotten more perfect news this appt! Saw everything we needed to PLUS a heartbeat . This tech didn't see anything concerning in my ovaries or tubes- not even a cyst like they have been seeing on both ovaries! My midwife said the pain I've been having might be because I O'd on that side, not sure if I believe her but I don't even care right now
Anyone else wish wish they would have waited to test? I’m only week 5 and already so impatient. I wish I was a cat. Their gestation is like six weeks. I’m ready for my rainbow baby. I’m ready for diapers, up all night, snuggles, late night feedings, did I say cuddles?? Most of all I am so ready to see my oldest be a big brother. He wants a sibling so bad.
Me too, all of this! My 5yo is going to be so excited to be a big brother. We were at the grocery store last night and he was playing peek a boo with the baby in line in front of us and I almost started crying. I cant wait to see it!!
Meagan Married 6.12.10 DS 11.8.12 Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
Need your help ladies... my six year old has been asking for a sibling for years. He knew about his sister and took it really hard when she passed. He became scared of doctors after he saw me at the hospital and knew she would not be coming home with us. So we made the decision not to tell him the next time we got pregnant with our son, Jack. He knows about Jack because it slipped in conversation and he asked who I was talking about so I had to have the hard heart to heart and explain who Jack was to him.
Here is my dilemma. My son knew I had to go get blood drawn and I've been open about us trying to have a baby to everyone that will listen, so I told my MIL that it was just some testing to help us conceive. When it was really my 3rd Beta test. My son asked me yesterday morning when we get to pick up our baby since I went to the doctor and had my blood drawn. It was seriously the sweetest and cutest question, and made me want to tell him so bad. I haven't talked with my husband yet about it because he doesn't want to tell anyone yet, the only ones to know are my best friend, our bosses, and the lady we use for daycare (her spots fill quick, so I had to snag it). If we tell our son about the baby he will tell everyone under the son... however he already tells people that he is going to have a baby sister, so I feel like now he won't look like he is lying if he truly knows he's having a sibling.
Would you tell your LO, or wait if you've seen the pain the previous loss caused your child? It was seriously heart breaking, and makes me so scared because as a mom you want to protect your little ones hearts as long as possible.
I'm leaning towards telling my son and convincing my husband that it's the right thing to do. Do you think I am right in this?
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@bdesterhouse That's so hard. And you are so sweet. Loss is hard on the whole family, not just moms. You know, I was on the fence hearing about his fears, but hearing you say you're leaning towards telling him, I would. If it would be a relief to you, I don't see the harm. Obviously, I'm on team Tell the Kid, because I told mine, but I know everyone's family is different. I would think that at six, though, it's a hard thing to hide. Kids are so perceptive, and even if he doesn't know, he probably knows something is up. I'm of the mind to include my daughter in as much as I can of our lives, in an age appropriate way of course, because I think it builds trust and honesty into our relationship. She doesn't need to know details, but if she can tell I'm upset and asks, I can tell her it's because money is tight, or mommy and daddy had a disagreement, etc. I don't always give her a full explanation, but I'm really careful not to tell her something untrue just for my own convenience. I know those are much smaller things, but I think it's good our relationship for her to be able to ask me things and know I'm going to be honest and not brush her off. For me it's setting up a model of communication, especially regarding feelings and fears.
When I hear fears about protecting their hearts, I completely get it. But sometimes when I catch myself thinking that, I wonder if I'm trying to protect her, or protect myself from having to deal with her if she feels hurt. I for sure thought twice about telling my kid because of that. But for me, I would have been protecting my feelings against her potential hurt, and not telling her out of fear of something going wrong. And that's valid! Sometimes we can't take on the emotional burden of anyone else - even kids - when were sad! (I don't know if I could do it at six, though, because she's already precocious as all get-out at three; I don't think I could get it by her.) Kids are resilient, though; I want them to stay kids as long as possible, but don't think it breaks their innocence the way we fear it might to know that life isn't always happy. And I think it's extremely valuable to be able to model how to work through disappointment, hurt, grief in an healthy way for our kids., and let them learn how to help when someone is going through that. How many more of us would be better off if our parents had modeled that well for us? Anyway, I have a lot of words, and I tend to work things out as I type, so sorry for the monologue. Whatever you decide is best for you and your family will be best. Talk to your husband, see what he thinks, and no matter what your decision is, I know you'll be making it from a place of love and care for your son. And that's the best thing you can do.
Hi everyone. Thank you for starting this thread. I'm so cautiously excited. I had a missed MC at the end of May at 10 weeks and a D&C on May 31. It was so unexpected, everything seemed so normal until we had the first US. Hoping that being on the boards will help distract me a bit. I want to celebrate, but it's definitely a weird feeling. Hopefully things will be much better this time!
@bdesterhouse That's so hard. And you are so sweet. Loss is hard on the whole family, not just moms. You know, I was on the fence hearing about his fears, but hearing you say you're leaning towards telling him, I would. If it would be a relief to you, I don't see the harm. Obviously, I'm on team Tell the Kid, because I told mine, but I know everyone's family is different. I would think that at six, though, it's a hard thing to hide. Kids are so perceptive, and even if he doesn't know, he probably knows something is up. I'm of the mind to include my daughter in as much as I can of our lives, in an age appropriate way of course, because I think it builds trust and honesty into our relationship. She doesn't need to know details, but if she can tell I'm upset and asks, I can tell her it's because money is tight, or mommy and daddy had a disagreement, etc. I don't always give her a full explanation, but I'm really careful not to tell her something untrue just for my own convenience. I know those are much smaller things, but I think it's good our relationship for her to be able to ask me things and know I'm going to be honest and not brush her off. For me it's setting up a model of communication, especially regarding feelings and fears.
When I hear fears about protecting their hearts, I completely get it. But sometimes when I catch myself thinking that, I wonder if I'm trying to protect her, or protect myself from having to deal with her if she feels hurt. I for sure thought twice about telling my kid because of that. But for me, I would have been protecting my feelings against her potential hurt, and not telling her out of fear of something going wrong. And that's valid! Sometimes we can't take on the emotional burden of anyone else - even kids - when were sad! (I don't know if I could do it at six, though, because she's already precocious as all get-out at three; I don't think I could get it by her.) Kids are resilient, though; I want them to stay kids as long as possible, but don't think it breaks their innocence the way we fear it might to know that life isn't always happy. And I think it's extremely valuable to be able to model how to work through disappointment, hurt, grief in an healthy way for our kids., and let them learn how to help when someone is going through that. How many more of us would be better off if our parents had modeled that well for us? Anyway, I have a lot of words, and I tend to work things out as I type, so sorry for the monologue. Whatever you decide is best for you and your family will be best. Talk to your husband, see what he thinks, and no matter what your decision is, I know you'll be making it from a place of love and care for your son. And that's the best thing you can do.
You’re amazing, thank you for your thoughts. I told my husband after my ultrasound, we are going to tell our son. That he has been wanting this for so long that it will be fun to tell him. Our last pregnancy we wanted to surprise him with a baby but he’s too perceptive and he’ll question why I’m getting even fatter than I already am.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
Regarding telling young children, I am lucky enough that mine is way too young to understand.
I know she won't really get it until I start showing, if she even understands then, but I am waiting until then to start getting her hyped up. For older kids, it's much harder to hide, especially if you have morning sickness, etc
DH and I had been trying for about two years when we decided to stop trying. We conceived sometime around Thanksgiving 2015 (total surprise when I saw that BFP) and had a due date of August 2016. The pregnancy was going great, early blood work was perfect, no concerns at any of the OB-GYN appointments and there was no concerns with the 12 week u/s (baby was actually measuring big). Fast forward to the 20 week u/s, we unfortunately discovered that something was seriously wrong with the development of the long bones, thoracic cavity, and possibly the heart. We were referred to MFM and were told that most likely the baby had a fatal skeletal dysplasia and we had an amniocentesis that day. I had a D&E at the end of that week in early April 2016. Weeks later the amniocentesis results confirmed that it was Thanatophoric skeletal dysplasia, which is in fact a fatal form.
We started trying two months ago, so I was a little surprised that I had a BFP this month. I had my betas drawn on 11/8 it was a little low at 32.8. I had the beta redrawn on 11/10 and it went up to 77, so more than doubled in less than 48 hours. It's heading in the right direction so I am going to try to relax and pray for a sticky bean!
I'm crossing my fingers for a heathy rainbow baby and a normal, boring pregnancy.
I’ve been STRUGGLING with this pregnancy. Not physically, emotionally. I feel envious of all the pregnancy announcements and feel like mine is some big dirty secret. It sucks.
My first miscarriage I had at 5 weeks and 4 days from bleeding. The second one, I was 7 weeks and 1 day but was a MMC, the blighted ovum only measured 5 weeks with no fetal pole.
I feel like I hav no control and I’m in between freaking out to not caring if it ends bad, preparing for the worst. Ugh.
Re: Rainbow Babies... post may trigger some.
Hopefully get to see a baby today!!!
I was very reluctant to join the July 18 BMB. Even more reluctant to post because then that means I really did get a BFP.
My second pregnancy ended around 9 weeks and although my grandma, my mom, and Aunt all had MC, it still seems like it would never happen to us. I planned to get pregnant with my first in September 2014, and I did. I planned to get pregnant with my second in September 2015, and I did. Seemed perfect and we were beyond excited for our Irish twins. We told siblings and both parents at 8 weeks and asked that everyone keep it a secret for a while longer - though DHs family didn’t listen which is a whole other story. Anyways we went for the sono at 8 weeks and all looked good - baby measured 6.5 weeks instead of 8 which was the exact same thing with DS. I just assumed they were following in the exact same path. They had me come back at 9 weeks to do another sono to measure growth (same with DS) so we thought nothing of it. When we got the sono it looked like baby had stopped growing a few days before the this sono and I had a missed miscarriage. I had never even heard of a missed miscarriage, nor could I get over the fact that i still had all the symptoms of feeling pregnant for 2 more weeks before a d&c. It was a slap in the face to wake up in the morning still feeling pregnant and then remembering I really wasn’t. It was a complete shock and we were devastated.
We did have our rainbow baby on December ‘16
I didn’t get any reassurance trying to make an appointment either. I know it’s early but I need late appointments and to find a babysitter for my other two so I called yesterday for an appointment. I absolutely LOVE my dr. but his receptionist? Not so much. When I called she said oh you are way too early for an appointment you haven’t even missed a period yet and I said I was supposed to get it yesterday and she was like it’s still too early. So I was like I already got a couple positive tests and she said it could just be positive since it’s so close to your period and told me if I don’t get my period by next Monday to call back for an appointment. I hung up baffled. If I don’t get my period by next Monday?!?! I get that mc happen often in the beginning but how are you going to tell a pregnant woman there’s still a chance she will get her period. A little sensitivity might have been nice... something like we dont take appointments until your 5+ weeks along would have satisfied me!
Anyways, I’m a rambler and DH keeps telling me everything’s fine and not to worry. I just feel like I have a gut instinct about it and the waiting game sucks!
Stickie babies to all you ladies and lots of love!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I think you're in good rambler company here! Totally feel you on the waiting game. We're all holding hope for you.
P.S. I kind of want to kick that receptionist.
I know what you mean by not being so attached, I joined the BMB trying to get a little more attached and stay positive.
FX for a sticky bean this time around!
Also, as a fellow rambler here, welcome!
And same ave with my husband he’s I said I’m nervous and don’t see it happening and he’s all like it’s fine it’s happening he’s telling our 10 month old she’s going to be a big sister. Taking about announcing at her birthday party and inside im trying to hold it together!!
It is HARD to stay positive, but please try and enjoy your pregnancy. My biggest regret while being pregnant with my first is how much of a nervous wreck I was that I never stopped to really appreciate or enjoy it.
Best of luck to all of you!
How are you mamas holding up so far?
I have my u/s in an hour! Currently freaking out, but I'm sooooo glad I got a morning apppintment.
DS 11.8.12
Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
Anyone else wish wish they would have waited to test? I’m only week 5 and already so impatient. I wish I was a cat. Their gestation is like six weeks. I’m ready for my rainbow baby. I’m ready for diapers, up all night, snuggles, late night feedings, did I say cuddles?? Most of all I am so ready to see my oldest be a big brother. He wants a sibling so bad.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
DS 11.8.12
Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
Here is my dilemma. My son knew I had to go get blood drawn and I've been open about us trying to have a baby to everyone that will listen, so I told my MIL that it was just some testing to help us conceive. When it was really my 3rd Beta test. My son asked me yesterday morning when we get to pick up our baby since I went to the doctor and had my blood drawn. It was seriously the sweetest and cutest question, and made me want to tell him so bad. I haven't talked with my husband yet about it because he doesn't want to tell anyone yet, the only ones to know are my best friend, our bosses, and the lady we use for daycare (her spots fill quick, so I had to snag it). If we tell our son about the baby he will tell everyone under the son... however he already tells people that he is going to have a baby sister, so I feel like now he won't look like he is lying if he truly knows he's having a sibling.
Would you tell your LO, or wait if you've seen the pain the previous loss caused your child? It was seriously heart breaking, and makes me so scared because as a mom you want to protect your little ones hearts as long as possible.
I'm leaning towards telling my son and convincing my husband that it's the right thing to do. Do you think I am right in this?
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
When I hear fears about protecting their hearts, I completely get it. But sometimes when I catch myself thinking that, I wonder if I'm trying to protect her, or protect myself from having to deal with her if she feels hurt. I for sure thought twice about telling my kid because of that. But for me, I would have been protecting my feelings against her potential hurt, and not telling her out of fear of something going wrong. And that's valid! Sometimes we can't take on the emotional burden of anyone else - even kids - when were sad! (I don't know if I could do it at six, though, because she's already precocious as all get-out at three; I don't think I could get it by her.) Kids are resilient, though; I want them to stay kids as long as possible, but don't think it breaks their innocence the way we fear it might to know that life isn't always happy. And I think it's extremely valuable to be able to model how to work through disappointment, hurt, grief in an healthy way for our kids., and let them learn how to help when someone is going through that. How many more of us would be better off if our parents had modeled that well for us? Anyway, I have a lot of words, and I tend to work things out as I type, so sorry for the monologue. Whatever you decide is best for you and your family will be best. Talk to your husband, see what he thinks, and no matter what your decision is, I know you'll be making it from a place of love and care for your son. And that's the best thing you can do.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I know she won't really get it until I start showing, if she even understands then, but I am waiting until then to start getting her hyped up. For older kids, it's much harder to hide, especially if you have morning sickness, etc
edited for spelling/wording
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
DS 11.8.12
Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
Warning: lot of negative attitude.
I’ve been STRUGGLING with this pregnancy. Not physically, emotionally. I feel envious of all the pregnancy announcements and feel like mine is some big dirty secret. It sucks.
My first miscarriage I had at 5 weeks and 4 days from bleeding. The second one, I was 7 weeks and 1 day but was a MMC, the blighted ovum only measured 5 weeks with no fetal pole.
I feel like I hav no control and I’m in between freaking out to not caring if it ends bad, preparing for the worst. Ugh.