Big Dumb Questions Thread - Page 12 — The Bump
July 2017 Moms

Big Dumb Questions Thread

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Re: Big Dumb Questions Thread

  • @RubyRedPirate Same, except I didn't really read about being pregnant either, other than this app! Is there a similar baby app??
    For example, I was just in Target, and in the baby care aisle, I thought hmm, I never hear anything about baby powder anymore? Do I need that? So I texted my sister if I need powder or vaseline, and she said definitely on the vaseline for his circumcision - Nobody told me that! I mean, I went to hippie prep classes, where I was the devil for circumcising, but still...
    Pregnancy Ticker

    Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin' 
    alcrimminskat0607RubyRedPirate
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  • @RubyRedPirate I definitely had an "Omg, I know nothing, " pseudo panic attack moment, Googling at 2am whether you are supposed to burp a baby after breastfeeding (some need it, a lot don't).
    WeddingNotes13RubyRedPirate
  • @RubyRedPirate I had a "holy crap I can't remember what it's like to have a newborn" realization recently and totally freaked myself out. I just have to remember, even more so that with pregnancy, every baby is different. What worked for DS might not work for this LO and I have to learn to go with the flow and find out what is best for her!

    With DS I did all the reading (because I like to feel like it had some control!). Eventually, you take some words from this book, some words from other moms advice, and mostly use what works when you are in survival mode. As long as you aren't hurting LO, you will be just fine! 
    BusyZeeljd2010RubyRedPirate
  • I never read a single book with either pregnancy or the first two years of dd's life. I literally go for the "wing it & pray" method. I always ask other parents with kids similar in age too. It's amazing how quickly you forget things. 
    BusyZeeWeddingNotes13kat0607RubyRedPirate
  • I can relate so much to those realizations. I panicked the first time, but like others have said, and much more laid back now even though I know that this baby will  different than the last. @GlitterFish circumcision was one of the topics that I got the least info about and found that hardest to get good info online. Hopefully, your sister can continue to give you good advice. If not, we are here. 

    Remember that you will still have internet, YouTube, and the bump as resources. It is hard to use them in the moment, by you can often wing it to get through a situation and then look up what you need for later/ the next time. 
  • Does anyone have to watch a movie in their hospital on shaken baby syndrome? I didn't with my first but the new hospital requires it. I'm a bit worried that it will be distressing. We have to sign a form saying we watched it in order to be released. Wondering if anyone has seen it and how bad it actually was.

    As for the book on what to do with a baby. It's so funny. I can distinctly remember saying and thinking "they just leave the baby with us?" As the nurse left the recovery room and it was just dh and I to care for and figure out this baby thing. We didn't read any books, I spent a ton of time in my bump fb group. Up at 3am wortied about something? Chances are 4 other mothers are also up! I read a ton online about breadfeeding but then read a ton about sleep habits later on, and then finally have a whole pinter estate board on how to encourage better behavior from a toddler. Maybe little Google in between for sickness, but that was about it. Try not to freak out too much, because if you try to read everything out there, it will make you crazy.
    alcrimminsWeddingNotes13RubyRedPirate
  • @JmUDuuuukes 07 We had to watch it last time with DD and we will have to again with DS. It sucks. We had to watch it right before we left and it made me cry. It was horribly graphic, just not something I was prepared to have to deal with. I understand why they show it, but I wish it wasn't required viewing because it can be really triggering. 
    JmUDuuuukes 07
  • Why can't they show it before ...?
    JmUDuuuukes 07
  • Back to the diaper cream question, I have Babyganics Vaseline-type cream that can be used with "every diaper change, especially at night" and then specific cream for diaper rash. Does the Vaseline-type of ointment really need to go on with every diaper change?? We are getting him circumscised so like you said @adabyron they might give us Vaseline at the hospital. But I bought these two different creams because I thought they were different...
  • Woah! The level of panic in this thread is unreal. The first newborn I ever held, diaper I ever changed, etc was with my son. I took no classes, read no books, and he's awesome!  At my hospital, I told the nurses I had no experience, and was nervous.  They showed me everything!  The showed me how to take care of the circumcision site, the belly button, the diapers and the bath.  The lactation consultant handled the feeding business.  It was nice.  They also sent us home with so much Vaseline that I just threw some out the other day.  

    Once I got home, I just started asking questions.  My mother and mother-in-law were great sources of advice, as were other moms I knew.  There were also "new mom" classes and support groups that I could have used if I wanted, but that's not my thing.  There's very little you'll "do wrong" (with the exception of shaking the baby) that you won't be able to say, "oops, that didn't work...let me try it a different way/ask someone."  Plus, most of it can be done multiple ways...you'll have to find what works for you and your baby.

    For example, regarding diaper cream.  Some moms (like mine) say Desitin and corn starch baby powder with every diaper, and they won't ever get a diaper rash.  I was more of an, "Aquaphor if he gets a diaper rash in the first place" kind of person.  Both work.

    As for the "shaken baby" video, we did have to watch it and sign a release.  It was kind of something we had to order from our room like pay per view.  Nobody watched us watch it, so I kind of let it play while half paying attention, in case it was too much.  I don't remember it being that stressful, just the story of a girl who was shaken as a baby, and the disability she now has, and the way her life changed because of it.
    kat0607
  • I know my hospital offers a daily free newborn basics class during your stay so you can go home feeling comfortable. 

    Vaseline ointment will keep the skin moist and stop it from drying it, if that's not an issue then it's not necessary. Baby powder is a big no, they're now saying the baby ends up inhaling the powder and it contain carcinogens. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I agree with @chiquita928 .....don't panic, FTMs! It is scary for sure, especially if you weren't raised around many young babies/kids. I barely was, and I somehow survived DD's babyhood. There are so many resources online to read up, and to be honest if you read it now, you will forget probably 90% of it in the haze of new-mommy-zombie life. I'd read up on basics of newborn life and care and then read up on later stages as you move towards them. 
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Married 8 years - Aug 23/08
    DD - 6 years old, March 17/11
    #2 due July 19th! (It's a boy!)
  • Like many others above, I had zero baby experience until my son, and I relied on a similar combo of the nurses, other moms, and some googling. You can ask the same question to ten different people and get ten different answers, though! Trust your gut, even if it feels like you don't have the Mom instinct yet. It's there! I also found that the book What to Expect During the First Year was helpful. There are month by month chapters with helpful tips and info, and a nice glossary at the end that I'd use. 
    chiquita928
  • I have no idea what I did with DD. Still don't. I think I'll figure it out. Also DD was a "trick baby" so I bet a monkey could've raised her. I'm sure this one will be different but again, I'll just fake it til I make it (until they are adults). 
    TTC: 1/2014 BFP: 9/24 EDD: 6/8/2015 Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
    alcrimmins
  • I echo what others have said.  You figure it out with a newborn and your instinct really does kick in.  Many times you will have to try a few things until you figure out what works for you and your baby.  It's a learning process for everyone but it really isn't that scary once you are in the thick of it.  Newborns are pretty simple creatures; feed them, love them, change them and they are good.  Toddlerhood is when shit gets real IMO.   
    hyperangel_8509ljd2010RubyRedPirate
  • I know this has been discussed, but I am quite a bit behind most of you, so please forgive me. I am 36 weeks tomorrow, and I just had my first cervical check yesterday. I know that that is not supposed to indicate anything as far as how soon labor is coming or whatnot, but the doctor seemed to think I was not where I should be. She said that I was a fingertip open and still hard. She told us that her prescription at this point is sex twice per day (ouch!) because the semen can help get things moving, and nipple stimulation to get contractions going.

    My question is: isn't all of that a little premature? I mean, I still have a month left, should I really be worried or concerned at this point? Maybe I was misreading the situation or her reaction, but it doesn't seem to me like I should be worried about not having any dilation yet.

    My husband interpreted it to mean that the doctor thinks I will go earlier than my EDD, and we need to be prepared in the next couple of weeks. I guess we shall see...
    cait32virginiaunicorn11
  • @NutellaToast - my dr said at 36w they expect most to be at a 1 and 50% effaced. My cervix was shut at 36 and 37 weeks (I go today for my 38w). My dr didn't seem too concerned and didn't tell me to try any ways to get it to progress. It's frustrating to know your body isn't doing anything but it has to start somewhere and at some point. I think 36w is too soon to worry about it, but maybe she just wants to see if it helps progress a little? I was disappointed at my last two that I wasn't progressed at all (even though it really means nothing), but I think today if I'm still closed I'll be way more frustrated. It's almost show time baby - come on!!! 
    BusyZee
  • @NutellaToast I was a fingertip (hate their various descriptions, btw. I was a "tight 1" at 38 weeks last pregnancy, ugh) dilated last week at 38 weeks, and my doctor wasn't concerned at all. I think I was 1 cm at 39 weeks last time, the doctor wasn't concerned, and my water broke 4 days later. I agree with you--36 weeks seems early to be worried or doing anything to jump start labor. 
  • I went to 41+6 with DS and never opened at all. No matter what I did! 
  • I just confirmed with my doc and hospital nurse, our hospital doesn't have any compulsory videos, they just give you a printed sheet about shaken baby syndrome.

    I'm glad to know! 
    @nktrodden826
    nktrodden826WeddingNotes13
  • I know this has been discussed, but I am quite a bit behind most of you, so please forgive me. I am 36 weeks tomorrow, and I just had my first cervical check yesterday. I know that that is not supposed to indicate anything as far as how soon labor is coming or whatnot, but the doctor seemed to think I was not where I should be. She said that I was a fingertip open and still hard. She told us that her prescription at this point is sex twice per day (ouch!) because the semen can help get things moving, and nipple stimulation to get contractions going.

    My question is: isn't all of that a little premature? I mean, I still have a month left, should I really be worried or concerned at this point? Maybe I was misreading the situation or her reaction, but it doesn't seem to me like I should be worried about not having any dilation yet.

    My husband interpreted it to mean that the doctor thinks I will go earlier than my EDD, and we need to be prepared in the next couple of weeks. I guess we shall see...
    It does sound weird, because I'm 36 + 5 and yesterday at the cerivcal exam they said I was still closed, and that that was normal. I had 3 contractions while on their monitor that they scoffed as braxton hicks, and I asked if I need to worry about being early and they said no. With my first, the last check up I had was at 39 weeks and I was totally closed. Gave birth a week later, did all the dilating in the same day. Does that help at all?
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    cait32
  • cait32cait32 member
    @NutellaToast I'm a FTM so take this with a grain of salt, but I think that advice is crazytown at 36 weeks, lol. My midwives won't even do cervical checks unless I ask them to, and they like to do one at 41 weeks so they can see if a membrane sweep is possible. They said their practice of low-risk FTMs (all of their practice is low risk by nature of it being a birthing center) average 41+1 gestation. She said if I get to 41+3, they'll see if they can do a sweep, start nipple stimulation, castor oil, etc. She said sex can help and its fine if we want to start doing that, but I'm 38 weeks and she had zero advice about getting things moving. When baby is ready, she/he will come usually (not always as @nktrodden826) pointed out. But trying to get things moving at 36 weeks, unless you have some risk factor, seems crazy to me. Not medical advice, of course...just perspective based on everything I've read and all the convos I've had with my medical team.
    TW

    DSS: 03/2006
    DD: 07/2017
    DS: 1/30/19
    EDD #3: 11/10/20 - ended in CP 3/6/20
    DcwtadaWeddingNotes13MamaRN13
  • I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol? 
    Pregnancy Ticker


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    BusyZeemama-k-2
  • plumpous said:
    I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol? 
    Yeap happened a bunch of time. 

    But since yesterday the turning inside my belly has been making me sick! 
  • BusyZee oh no!!! Feel better!
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  • Thanks all! From everything I have read, I did not expect anything to start happening yet. When the doctor started making suggestions, though, I couldn't help but think something was wrong. I am a FTM, so I don't have anything to base this pregnancy on, but I have had what I consider to be a really easy time of it, very low risk. My mom went two weeks overdue with all of her kids, so I kind of assume that I will go at least to 40, but we will see!
    cait32
  • plumpous said:
    I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol? 
    I get a wave of something through my body right before I have a contraction. Maybe it's that? 
    BusyZee
  • plumpous said:
    I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol? 
    I get a wave of something through my body right before I have a contraction. Maybe it's that? 
    Who knows, right? It's so personal and hard to describe, but what I'm talking about is like a goooood feeling. Sound the same?
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  • cait32cait32 member
    yaaaaas @dancegurl1118

    TW

    DSS: 03/2006
    DD: 07/2017
    DS: 1/30/19
    EDD #3: 11/10/20 - ended in CP 3/6/20
  • I just got done with my appointment and I'm 38+2 and still not dilated at all - my dr (well it was an NP today bc my dr is on vaca) wasn't concerned at all.
  • Oh I'm fine thanks @plumpous I meant "nauseated"... 
    but it only lasts for a few seconds! 

    @ginger1228 won't forget that one ;) 
  • BusyZee said:
    Oh I'm fine thanks @plumpous I meant "nauseated"... 
    but it only lasts for a few seconds! 

    @ginger1228 won't forget that one ;) 
    Hahahahahaha I hope you know I wasn't calling you out specifically when I made that post!
    mamadcb
  • @ginger1228 hahah no no not at all!!!!
    ginger1228
  • RubyRedPirateRubyRedPirate member
    edited June 2017
    Thank you ladies for your reassuring words! I feel like my family situation is a little odd and I was worried about seeking advice from them. I was born 8 weeks premature and spent 3 months in the NICU and my mom didnt even get to touch me for a month so she didnt get to experience a lot of early bonding, breastfeeding, and motherly duties I guess is the best way to put it. My brother is special needs so he never breastfed, didnt talk for a long time, barely cried, and never made eye contact so he was also a different experience. A ton of my family are "organic, no vaccine, essential oil fixes everything" parents and I honestly dont know if I would trust everything they told me. Thankfully I have 2 friends, also in my profession that have children. One has a 1 year old, the other a 6 month old and 6w pregnant with her third so hopefully they come to my rescue.

    I'm 150 pages into 'What to Expect the First Year" and I agree there is so much info its overwhelming. I've also learned quite a few things! @optbaby2017 I also had that question!? I was reading the book and realized it had never crossed my mind!
    ME: 28 DH: 27
    Started Dating: 10/20/2006
     Married: 10/20/2013
    MMC @ 8w 12/15
    MC @ 5w 03/16
    ALEXANDER JAMES DUE JULY 15th!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    optbaby2017SaphireSweetie88
  • I'm getting approx three packs of size 1 diapers (bamboo nature) would that be enough for a few days after birth...? 
  • @BusyZee - How many diapers are the packs? 
    Me:28 | DH: 28
    Married: 07-2014
    TTC #1: Since November 2015
    Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
         due to previous issues.
    ***TW***
    BFP: 11/4/2016
    *TW*
     BabyFruit Ticker


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