I can relate so much to those realizations. I panicked the first time, but like others have said, and much more laid back now even though I know that this baby will different than the last. @GlitterFish circumcision was one of the topics that I got the least info about and found that hardest to get good info online. Hopefully, your sister can continue to give you good advice. If not, we are here.
Remember that you will still have internet, YouTube, and the bump as resources. It is hard to use them in the moment, by you can often wing it to get through a situation and then look up what you need for later/ the next time.
Does anyone have to watch a movie in their hospital on shaken baby syndrome? I didn't with my first but the new hospital requires it. I'm a bit worried that it will be distressing. We have to sign a form saying we watched it in order to be released. Wondering if anyone has seen it and how bad it actually was.
As for the book on what to do with a baby. It's so funny. I can distinctly remember saying and thinking "they just leave the baby with us?" As the nurse left the recovery room and it was just dh and I to care for and figure out this baby thing. We didn't read any books, I spent a ton of time in my bump fb group. Up at 3am wortied about something? Chances are 4 other mothers are also up! I read a ton online about breadfeeding but then read a ton about sleep habits later on, and then finally have a whole pinter estate board on how to encourage better behavior from a toddler. Maybe little Google in between for sickness, but that was about it. Try not to freak out too much, because if you try to read everything out there, it will make you crazy.
@JmUDuuuukes 07 We had to watch it last time with DD and we will have to again with DS. It sucks. We had to watch it right before we left and it made me cry. It was horribly graphic, just not something I was prepared to have to deal with. I understand why they show it, but I wish it wasn't required viewing because it can be really triggering.
Back to the diaper cream question, I have Babyganics Vaseline-type cream that can be used with "every diaper change, especially at night" and then specific cream for diaper rash. Does the Vaseline-type of ointment really need to go on with every diaper change?? We are getting him circumscised so like you said @adabyron they might give us Vaseline at the hospital. But I bought these two different creams because I thought they were different...
Woah! The level of panic in this thread is unreal. The first newborn I ever held, diaper I ever changed, etc was with my son. I took no classes, read no books, and he's awesome! At my hospital, I told the nurses I had no experience, and was nervous. They showed me everything! The showed me how to take care of the circumcision site, the belly button, the diapers and the bath. The lactation consultant handled the feeding business. It was nice. They also sent us home with so much Vaseline that I just threw some out the other day.
Once I got home, I just started asking questions. My mother and mother-in-law were great sources of advice, as were other moms I knew. There were also "new mom" classes and support groups that I could have used if I wanted, but that's not my thing. There's very little you'll "do wrong" (with the exception of shaking the baby) that you won't be able to say, "oops, that didn't work...let me try it a different way/ask someone." Plus, most of it can be done multiple ways...you'll have to find what works for you and your baby.
For example, regarding diaper cream. Some moms (like mine) say Desitin and corn starch baby powder with every diaper, and they won't ever get a diaper rash. I was more of an, "Aquaphor if he gets a diaper rash in the first place" kind of person. Both work.
As for the "shaken baby" video, we did have to watch it and sign a release. It was kind of something we had to order from our room like pay per view. Nobody watched us watch it, so I kind of let it play while half paying attention, in case it was too much. I don't remember it being that stressful, just the story of a girl who was shaken as a baby, and the disability she now has, and the way her life changed because of it.
I know my hospital offers a daily free newborn basics class during your stay so you can go home feeling comfortable.
Vaseline ointment will keep the skin moist and stop it from drying it, if that's not an issue then it's not necessary. Baby powder is a big no, they're now saying the baby ends up inhaling the powder and it contain carcinogens.
I agree with @chiquita928 .....don't panic, FTMs! It is scary for sure, especially if you weren't raised around many young babies/kids. I barely was, and I somehow survived DD's babyhood. There are so many resources online to read up, and to be honest if you read it now, you will forget probably 90% of it in the haze of new-mommy-zombie life. I'd read up on basics of newborn life and care and then read up on later stages as you move towards them.
Married 8 years - Aug 23/08 DD - 6 years old, March 17/11 #2 due July 19th! (It's a boy!)
I come from one of those families where Vaseline solves every problem (think: windex in My Big Fat Greek Wedding) so I will surely be applying Vaseline/aquaphor/etc as a preventative measure. Just because I feel like it's the duct tape of skin care
also I would rather google or ask things on the bump than go to my mother or MIL with a question. Not trying to open up that can of worms!
Like many others above, I had zero baby experience until my son, and I relied on a similar combo of the nurses, other moms, and some googling. You can ask the same question to ten different people and get ten different answers, though! Trust your gut, even if it feels like you don't have the Mom instinct yet. It's there! I also found that the book What to Expect During the First Year was helpful. There are month by month chapters with helpful tips and info, and a nice glossary at the end that I'd use.
I have no idea what I did with DD. Still don't. I think I'll figure it out. Also DD was a "trick baby" so I bet a monkey could've raised her. I'm sure this one will be different but again, I'll just fake it til I make it (until they are adults).
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
I echo what others have said. You figure it out with a newborn and your instinct really does kick in. Many times you will have to try a few things until you figure out what works for you and your baby. It's a learning process for everyone but it really isn't that scary once you are in the thick of it. Newborns are pretty simple creatures; feed them, love them, change them and they are good. Toddlerhood is when shit gets real IMO.
I know this has been discussed, but I am quite a bit behind most of you, so please forgive me. I am 36 weeks tomorrow, and I just had my first cervical check yesterday. I know that that is not supposed to indicate anything as far as how soon labor is coming or whatnot, but the doctor seemed to think I was not where I should be. She said that I was a fingertip open and still hard. She told us that her prescription at this point is sex twice per day (ouch!) because the semen can help get things moving, and nipple stimulation to get contractions going.
My question is: isn't all of that a little premature? I mean, I still have a month left, should I really be worried or concerned at this point? Maybe I was misreading the situation or her reaction, but it doesn't seem to me like I should be worried about not having any dilation yet.
My husband interpreted it to mean that the doctor thinks I will go earlier than my EDD, and we need to be prepared in the next couple of weeks. I guess we shall see...
@NutellaToast - my dr said at 36w they expect most to be at a 1 and 50% effaced. My cervix was shut at 36 and 37 weeks (I go today for my 38w). My dr didn't seem too concerned and didn't tell me to try any ways to get it to progress. It's frustrating to know your body isn't doing anything but it has to start somewhere and at some point. I think 36w is too soon to worry about it, but maybe she just wants to see if it helps progress a little? I was disappointed at my last two that I wasn't progressed at all (even though it really means nothing), but I think today if I'm still closed I'll be way more frustrated. It's almost show time baby - come on!!!
@NutellaToast I was a fingertip (hate their various descriptions, btw. I was a "tight 1" at 38 weeks last pregnancy, ugh) dilated last week at 38 weeks, and my doctor wasn't concerned at all. I think I was 1 cm at 39 weeks last time, the doctor wasn't concerned, and my water broke 4 days later. I agree with you--36 weeks seems early to be worried or doing anything to jump start labor.
I just confirmed with my doc and hospital nurse, our hospital doesn't have any compulsory videos, they just give you a printed sheet about shaken baby syndrome.
I know this has been discussed, but I am quite a bit behind most of you, so please forgive me. I am 36 weeks tomorrow, and I just had my first cervical check yesterday. I know that that is not supposed to indicate anything as far as how soon labor is coming or whatnot, but the doctor seemed to think I was not where I should be. She said that I was a fingertip open and still hard. She told us that her prescription at this point is sex twice per day (ouch!) because the semen can help get things moving, and nipple stimulation to get contractions going.
My question is: isn't all of that a little premature? I mean, I still have a month left, should I really be worried or concerned at this point? Maybe I was misreading the situation or her reaction, but it doesn't seem to me like I should be worried about not having any dilation yet.
My husband interpreted it to mean that the doctor thinks I will go earlier than my EDD, and we need to be prepared in the next couple of weeks. I guess we shall see...
It does sound weird, because I'm 36 + 5 and yesterday at the cerivcal exam they said I was still closed, and that that was normal. I had 3 contractions while on their monitor that they scoffed as braxton hicks, and I asked if I need to worry about being early and they said no. With my first, the last check up I had was at 39 weeks and I was totally closed. Gave birth a week later, did all the dilating in the same day. Does that help at all?
I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol?
I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol?
Yeap happened a bunch of time.
But since yesterday the turning inside my belly has been making me sick!
Thanks all! From everything I have read, I did not expect anything to start happening yet. When the doctor started making suggestions, though, I couldn't help but think something was wrong. I am a FTM, so I don't have anything to base this pregnancy on, but I have had what I consider to be a really easy time of it, very low risk. My mom went two weeks overdue with all of her kids, so I kind of assume that I will go at least to 40, but we will see!
I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol?
I get a wave of something through my body right before I have a contraction. Maybe it's that?
I have a weird question, do you guys ever get a rush or a high when the baby moves/kicks? Like a wave of oxytocin kind of? Sometime I sit and baby is moving, and all of a sudden my body kinda gets this weird high for a couple of seconds, similar to how I felt when I was breastfeeding. Is it only me lol?
I get a wave of something through my body right before I have a contraction. Maybe it's that?
Who knows, right? It's so personal and hard to describe, but what I'm talking about is like a goooood feeling. Sound the same?
@NutellaToast that is INSANE. Your cervix shouldn't "be" anywhere because you're not in labor. And are considered preterm. I was closed at 36 weeks, barely fingertip at 37 weeks and still had a baby at 39 weeks. Things like this make me so mad. You are not doing anything wrong. Your cervix is not doing anything wrong. You're a FTM who's cervix has never been open (STM cervix is more likely to be dilated earlier even when not in labor).
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
I just got done with my appointment and I'm 38+2 and still not dilated at all - my dr (well it was an NP today bc my dr is on vaca) wasn't concerned at all.
Thank you ladies for your reassuring words! I feel like my family situation is a little odd and I was worried about seeking advice from them. I was born 8 weeks premature and spent 3 months in the NICU and my mom didnt even get to touch me for a month so she didnt get to experience a lot of early bonding, breastfeeding, and motherly duties I guess is the best way to put it. My brother is special needs so he never breastfed, didnt talk for a long time, barely cried, and never made eye contact so he was also a different experience. A ton of my family are "organic, no vaccine, essential oil fixes everything" parents and I honestly dont know if I would trust everything they told me. Thankfully I have 2 friends, also in my profession that have children. One has a 1 year old, the other a 6 month old and 6w pregnant with her third so hopefully they come to my rescue.
I'm 150 pages into 'What to Expect the First Year" and I agree there is so much info its overwhelming. I've also learned quite a few things! @optbaby2017 I also had that question!? I was reading the book and realized it had never crossed my mind!
ME: 28 DH: 27
Started Dating: 10/20/2006
Married: 10/20/2013
MMC @ 8w 12/15 MC @ 5w 03/16 ALEXANDER JAMES DUE JULY 15th!
@BusyZee - 28 in each pack? Depending on how many packs you have you might be okay for a couple days but I have heard from family & friends with kids that the 1st week their babies were born they went through about 8 diapers each day (sometimes more).
Also, will your hospital provide diapers for you while there? Sometimes they will let you even take some home. I know I've heard the hospital DH & I are going through does that because the nurses "accidentally" leave the cart in the room as you're packing to go home.
Me:28 | DH: 28 Married: 07-2014 TTC #1: Since November 2015 Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016 due to previous issues. ***TW*** BFP: 11/4/2016 *TW*
Yeap 28 in each pack, I've heard the same, anywhere between 8-12! @SaphireSweetie88
I will take what I can from the hospital and plan to give away what I don't use and I'm bringing my own diapers to the hospital so there's that! I would get more but I'm confused about the sizes! Maybe I'm thinking too much into it, ...but I don't want to end up with three packs of size1 packs(newborn) and later find out they don't fit .. are diapers more forgiving unlike clothes ..?
The size 1 diapers I have say they're good up to 14 pounds so I think size 1 lasts for at least a couple months (maybe 2) or 3 months if they baby is closer to 7 or 8 pounds at birth @BuzyZee I currently have a 216 count pack of size 1 diapers. That will give me 21 days if it's 10 diapers / day (plus I have some from free sample boxes too)
Me:28 | DH: 28 Married: 07-2014 TTC #1: Since November 2015 Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016 due to previous issues. ***TW*** BFP: 11/4/2016 *TW*
I think that is probably OK to cover you for a few days, if you have someone else lined up to get more should you need them ASAP. Your numbers are right for most babies. DS#1 had tummy trouble and went through about 20 diapers a day for a while. That is certainly not the norm, but I would still have arrangements to make sure you are covered if LO goes through them quicker than what you are able to recover to get more yourself.
I would also anticipate that the newborn diapers should fit for minimum of two weeks, unless you have a very large baby. Most babies don't gain super quickly in the very beginning. Diapers are forgiving in size, but more prone to leaks once baby has started outgrowing that size.
I hated bamboo nature and honest company diapers. DS leaked out every single time no matter what. So I'd have a variety of diapers and sizes but leave them unopened so you can swap them at the store if needed!
@BusyZee That's enough for only a few days, but it's very likely you will need more size 1s, as most babies take a few weeks if not more to get up to that weight limit. They're adjustable at the waist, but not in the legs. That's why a poor size will start to leak. Most stores will allow you to exchange an unopened pack of one size for the comparable pack in the next size up, so even if you get too many, you should be ok to switch them when needed. DS was in newborns for about 3-4 weeks, and size 1s for maybe 6-7 weeks. (He was pretty small, though.) Sometimes I would put a larger size on him for overnight, and the normal size for during the day.
Re: Big Dumb Questions Thread
Remember that you will still have internet, YouTube, and the bump as resources. It is hard to use them in the moment, by you can often wing it to get through a situation and then look up what you need for later/ the next time.
As for the book on what to do with a baby. It's so funny. I can distinctly remember saying and thinking "they just leave the baby with us?" As the nurse left the recovery room and it was just dh and I to care for and figure out this baby thing. We didn't read any books, I spent a ton of time in my bump fb group. Up at 3am wortied about something? Chances are 4 other mothers are also up! I read a ton online about breadfeeding but then read a ton about sleep habits later on, and then finally have a whole pinter estate board on how to encourage better behavior from a toddler. Maybe little Google in between for sickness, but that was about it. Try not to freak out too much, because if you try to read everything out there, it will make you crazy.
Once I got home, I just started asking questions. My mother and mother-in-law were great sources of advice, as were other moms I knew. There were also "new mom" classes and support groups that I could have used if I wanted, but that's not my thing. There's very little you'll "do wrong" (with the exception of shaking the baby) that you won't be able to say, "oops, that didn't work...let me try it a different way/ask someone." Plus, most of it can be done multiple ways...you'll have to find what works for you and your baby.
For example, regarding diaper cream. Some moms (like mine) say Desitin and corn starch baby powder with every diaper, and they won't ever get a diaper rash. I was more of an, "Aquaphor if he gets a diaper rash in the first place" kind of person. Both work.
As for the "shaken baby" video, we did have to watch it and sign a release. It was kind of something we had to order from our room like pay per view. Nobody watched us watch it, so I kind of let it play while half paying attention, in case it was too much. I don't remember it being that stressful, just the story of a girl who was shaken as a baby, and the disability she now has, and the way her life changed because of it.
Vaseline ointment will keep the skin moist and stop it from drying it, if that's not an issue then it's not necessary. Baby powder is a big no, they're now saying the baby ends up inhaling the powder and it contain carcinogens.
Married 8 years - Aug 23/08
DD - 6 years old, March 17/11
#2 due July 19th! (It's a boy!)
also I would rather google or ask things on the bump than go to my mother or MIL with a question. Not trying to open up that can of worms!
My question is: isn't all of that a little premature? I mean, I still have a month left, should I really be worried or concerned at this point? Maybe I was misreading the situation or her reaction, but it doesn't seem to me like I should be worried about not having any dilation yet.
My husband interpreted it to mean that the doctor thinks I will go earlier than my EDD, and we need to be prepared in the next couple of weeks. I guess we shall see...
I'm glad to know!
@nktrodden826
But since yesterday the turning inside my belly has been making me sick!
but it only lasts for a few seconds!
@ginger1228 won't forget that one
I'm 150 pages into 'What to Expect the First Year" and I agree there is so much info its overwhelming. I've also learned quite a few things! @optbaby2017 I also had that question!? I was reading the book and realized it had never crossed my mind!
MC @ 5w 03/16
ALEXANDER JAMES DUE JULY 15th!
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Also, will your hospital provide diapers for you while there? Sometimes they will let you even take some home. I know I've heard the hospital DH & I are going through does that because the nurses "accidentally" leave the cart in the room as you're packing to go home.
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
I will take what I can from the hospital and plan to give away what I don't use and I'm bringing my own diapers to the hospital so there's that! I would get more but I'm confused about the sizes! Maybe I'm thinking too much into it, ...but I don't want to end up with three packs of size1 packs(newborn) and later find out they don't fit .. are diapers more forgiving unlike clothes ..?
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
I would also anticipate that the newborn diapers should fit for minimum of two weeks, unless you have a very large baby. Most babies don't gain super quickly in the very beginning. Diapers are forgiving in size, but more prone to leaks once baby has started outgrowing that size.