October 2017 Moms

Ask a STM+ (aka the Stupid Questions Thread)

Judgement free ladies, so ask away!

*as judgement free as the Internet gets.
TTC #1 since May 2014
3 failed IUI cycles
Oct '15 - IVF 1 - 10R, 3M, 0F
Sept '16 - IVF - 12R, 11M, 5F and 3 perfect day 5 blasts - MMC 7w5d
Jan '17 - FET 1 - BFP, EDD 10/14

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Re: Ask a STM+ (aka the Stupid Questions Thread)

  • CytheCythe member
    And as a bonus, I'll even start.

    When I was making my next appt, I wasn't really listening. Now I can't remember if they will do an u/s - I'll be 10w2d and I last saw or heard baby on 7w2d. My question is, even if they don't scan me, will they at least find the heartbeat with a doppler?
    TTC #1 since May 2014
    3 failed IUI cycles
    Oct '15 - IVF 1 - 10R, 3M, 0F
    Sept '16 - IVF - 12R, 11M, 5F and 3 perfect day 5 blasts - MMC 7w5d
    Jan '17 - FET 1 - BFP, EDD 10/14

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
  • @Cythe, most OB's I believe will say they can't find the HB until closer to 12 weeks with a Doppler. That being said, they might still try. But don't panic if they can't find it. I had my 12 week appointment with DS closer to 11 weeks and my OB said it was very common for them not to be able to find it at that point. 
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  • @Cythe all OBs are different.  My first apt isn't until 12w when they do the first U/S.  Every appt after that my OB uses the Doppler to check on the heart rate.  That being said, I have no clue what your doctor does.   
  • mamabear148-2mamabear148-2 member
    edited March 2017
    @Cythe, my OB does a confirmation ultrasound around the 8 week mark and the NT scan between 11-13weeks. I won't get another scan after that til the anatomical scan close to the 20week mark and then I'll get another if belly is measuring big/small or if they suspect something else going on.
    Every practice (and insurance) is different tho... I'd call and ask! :)
  • Are there any books that STM's would recommend reading?  I am wary getting all of my information off of the internet.  Any that are worth the money/time?  
  • CytheCythe member
    edited March 2017
    mrs_fogue said:
    What To Expect is a popular book and is packed with info.  I think it did a nice job of presenting all your options. 


    **stuck in box

    Holy shit, ignore me. Reading is hard.
    TTC #1 since May 2014
    3 failed IUI cycles
    Oct '15 - IVF 1 - 10R, 3M, 0F
    Sept '16 - IVF - 12R, 11M, 5F and 3 perfect day 5 blasts - MMC 7w5d
    Jan '17 - FET 1 - BFP, EDD 10/14

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
  • Cythe said:
    mrs_fogue said:
    What To Expect is a popular book and is packed with info.  I think it did a nice job of presenting all your options. 
    I'm quite aware that we can look up the answers to our questions, but um thanks for your response? It was suggested during the FTM checkin to have a ask a STM thread, and newbie/dumb questions threads are hardly a new thing on TB.
    Did you see that another gal had asked if there were any books a STM would recommend? I took @mrs_fogue reply as an answer to that question...
  • Cythe said:
    mrs_fogue said:
    What To Expect is a popular book and is packed with info.  I think it did a nice job of presenting all your options. 
    I'm quite aware that we can look up the answers to our questions, but um thanks for your response? It was suggested during the FTM checkin to have a ask a STM thread, and newbie/dumb questions threads are hardly a new thing on TB.
    @Cythe Um????  I was replying to @JessDG question when she asked for a book worth her investment.  IMO What To Expect was a very helpful book during my first pregnancy.  
  • CytheCythe member
    mrs_fogue said:
    Cythe said:
    mrs_fogue said:
    What To Expect is a popular book and is packed with info.  I think it did a nice job of presenting all your options. 
    I'm quite aware that we can look up the answers to our questions, but um thanks for your response? It was suggested during the FTM checkin to have a ask a STM thread, and newbie/dumb questions threads are hardly a new thing on TB.
    @Cythe Um????  I was replying to @JessDG question when she asked for a book worth her investment.  IMO What To Expect was a very helpful book during my first pregnancy.  
    Yup, just saw that! I'm mobile and it only gave me notice of your response, I didn't see the question that was asked! I'm really sorry, I thought it was in response to me (considering I was the only one who had asked so far!)
    TTC #1 since May 2014
    3 failed IUI cycles
    Oct '15 - IVF 1 - 10R, 3M, 0F
    Sept '16 - IVF - 12R, 11M, 5F and 3 perfect day 5 blasts - MMC 7w5d
    Jan '17 - FET 1 - BFP, EDD 10/14

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
  • mrs_fogue said:
    What To Expect is a popular book and is packed with info.  I think it did a nice job of presenting all your options. 
    @JessDG This one was good and I also like the Mayo Clinic "Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy". 
     --------
    I heart theSkimm
    I heart YNAB
    ---------
    “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, 
    if one only remembers to turn on the light." 
    - Albus Dumbledore
  • @Cythe it's ok.  I should have tagged her but got to caught up in my response.
  • Thanks Ladies!  I'll check Amazon for some of those book recommendations. :)  I know that I'll figure things out as I go along, but it is not fun feeling like I have no idea what is going to happen from here on out.  
  • BellaMikasaaBellaMikasaa member
    edited March 2017
    Would STM recommend joining a mother's club like MOMS (Moms offering Moms support) before or after having the baby? Or recommend even joining one at all?
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @BellaMikasaa I wasn't a fan of my local MOMS group. I did however love my local le leche league group and a different moms group through the mommies network. ( .com).  

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"

  • @BellaMikasaa I found it more useful to join specific parenting groups. For example if you are into breastfeeding then join a breastfeeding support group. I joined a breastfeeding and baby wearing group during the start to help me with my velcro baby. I didn't post much but lurking and reading about people doing very similar things and getting through the tough stages helped my sanity.

    **June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**

    LO#2 EDD October 18th 


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Moms groups are absolute life savers for me! Highly recommend! 
  • Not sure if you're talking about in-person or online groups, but I found both really worthwhile. I went to a couple local new moms groups after I had DS. One was through the hospital where I delivered, and the other was at a doula's office that happened to be right in my neighborhood. (Anyone could go to their free support groups even if you didn't use the doula's services.) They were geared for moms with newborns to 6 months. Both were amazing and I highly recommend finding something similar! 

    As far as online groups, a core group from my BMB migrated to FB during our third trimester and that group has been invaluable to my parenting experience. We all talk daily to this day.

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @BellaMikasaa I wasn't a fan of my local MOMS group. I did however love my local le leche league group and a different moms group through the mommies network. ( .com).  
    I've heard of the le leche group, but not of the mommiesnetwork.com. I will check it out. Thanks! :)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @BellaMikasaa I found it more useful to join specific parenting groups. For example if you are into breastfeeding then join a breastfeeding support group. I joined a breastfeeding and baby wearing group during the start to help me with my velcro baby. I didn't post much but lurking and reading about people doing very similar things and getting through the tough stages helped my sanity.
    I want to at least try breastfeeding and using the wraps. I'm terrified I'm going to get frustrated and just give up. So it would be smart to be with other moms who have also walked the path or are currently doing the same things I am doing. 
    Thanks! :)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Moms groups are absolute life savers for me! Highly recommend! 
    Thanks! :)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @BellaMikasaa I learnt how to do the stretchy wraps from YouTube. Then I found a local group IRL and attended that to learn about how I was going to upgrade from a stretchy. Stretchy wraps are only good for smaller babies. I can definitely assist you along the way for stretchy and woven wraps. I wore DS for 12 months. There is a small learning curve but huge benefits. I would not have survived without baby wearing.

    **June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**

    LO#2 EDD October 18th 


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Not sure if you're talking about in-person or online groups, but I found both really worthwhile. I went to a couple local new moms groups after I had DS. One was through the hospital where I delivered, and the other was at a doula's office that happened to be right in my neighborhood. (Anyone could go to their free support groups even if you didn't use the doula's services.) They were geared for moms with newborns to 6 months. Both were amazing and I highly recommend finding something similar! 

    As far as online groups, a core group from my BMB migrated to FB during our third trimester and that group has been invaluable to my parenting experience. We all talk daily to this day.
    I was initially refering to in person groups because I'm a visual learner and think it would be beneficial to actually see how other mothers use the wraps, feed their babies etc. I can watch as many youtube videos as I please, but I feel that until I actually have my baby in my arms, nothing is really going to stick. If that makes sense? 
    Basically, I think having other mothers around me to say "oh no, that's a good/bad idea" or "This is what I did when my baby was fussy/gassy/sick etc" would be beneficial. However it seems joining online forums would also be just as helpful, if not more so. 
    Thanks for all the tips ladies!!! Appreciate you  <3
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @riverraine ty for the book recommendation - I started Expecting Better and although I don't necessarily "agree" with everything Oster says (I feel like some risks outweigh the "reward") - it's refreshing to see the reasearch laid out about some stuff because although my dr is great he is busy and I don't always remember to ask "why" whenever he says stuff.
    *TW* Angel J. Conceived 1/1/17 - nonviable 3/7/17
  • Did any of you get a Doppler first time around? Favorite type? 

    DH said to just get a stethoscope (such the funny man that guy)
    **April Siggy Challenge**Baby Animals**

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  • @vvilla3 I bought a sonoline b with my last pregnancy. I'm happy with it
  • @vvilla3 we also have a sonoline b. I used it maybe a small handful of times during my last pregnancy. I haven't dug it out yet. I definitely don't think it's a "must have" but it was fun to play around with. Also if you think it would unnecessarily stress you out if you're unable to find the heartbeat then you might want to consider not getting one. If you do get one, look up you tube videos for tips. All this being said, I can't believe I spent $40 bucks on the thing. I'm much more frugal now I guess lol

    *O17 June Siggy Challenge - You had 1 job!*
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  • @purplestars that's pretty much how I'm feeling about it - can't really justify spending the $$ on it. 
    **April Siggy Challenge**Baby Animals**

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I was given a Doppler from my cousin who had just had a baby last time.  I used it maybe twice.  It's not something I would purchase.  My OB used the Doppler during visits and that was really enough for me to ease my mind. 

    I got it out the other day and now DD wants to talk to the baby all the time.  So looks like I'll be using it more this go around than last.  But it's more of a cute bonding moment and getting DD involved than for me.

  • I didn't get a doppler (and I was PGAL, so trust me, my nerves were shot most of the 9 months), BUT I also had a super awesome doctor's office who were pretty good about squeezing me in anytime I had a concern. DD was (luckily) pretty active, so once I got to that point, it reassured me more than a doppler would have. My luck, I wouldn't have found a heartbeat and freaked out :smile:
    BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
    BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13.
    BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!

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  • CytheCythe member
    Should I be concerned that I'm not bursting at the seams of my bra? Everywhere I look, people are talking about how big their boobs are already, and I'm just like...meh. I've got boobs and they're very much like before I got pregnant.
    TTC #1 since May 2014
    3 failed IUI cycles
    Oct '15 - IVF 1 - 10R, 3M, 0F
    Sept '16 - IVF - 12R, 11M, 5F and 3 perfect day 5 blasts - MMC 7w5d
    Jan '17 - FET 1 - BFP, EDD 10/14

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
  • Cythe said:
    Should I be concerned that I'm not bursting at the seams of my bra? Everywhere I look, people are talking about how big their boobs are already, and I'm just like...meh. I've got boobs and they're very much like before I got pregnant.
    Same. They are definitely sore and more veiny, and my areolas are a bit bigger, but not my boobs themselves.
  • My boobs never grew. With either of my kids. I am notoriously small chested. Looks like things are the same this time around. Definitely sore but no growth!
  • My boobs didn't change with DS. I don't know if it's a side effect of being post nursing or just because they aren't as big as they were at the beginning last time but they are definitely at least "fuller" this time. Not huge but I can see a difference.
     --------
    I heart theSkimm
    I heart YNAB
    ---------
    “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, 
    if one only remembers to turn on the light." 
    - Albus Dumbledore
  • I feel like this is a superficial fear in perspective of things, but I am terrified of pooping during birth. Is it as common as they say it is, and how is it dealt with? I generally have the opposite of constipation, so I'm pretty scared that its going to literally be a shitstorm.  :# 
    Me: 31 DH:35
    TTC #1: March 2011 
    Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
    dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 
    2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
    6 rounds of clomid
    5 rounds of iui
    IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
    ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
    4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
    FET 1/10/2017  
    Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
    FET 2/2
    BFP 2/7/17 <3 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!!
    Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @dogperson11 that in itself makes me feel so much better. Thank you!
    Me: 31 DH:35
    TTC #1: March 2011 
    Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
    dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 
    2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
    6 rounds of clomid
    5 rounds of iui
    IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
    ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
    4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
    FET 1/10/2017  
    Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
    FET 2/2
    BFP 2/7/17 <3 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!!
    Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
    Pregnancy Ticker
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