Ask a STM+ (aka the Stupid Questions Thread)

mommac2017

@sophiakam, unfortunately that is a completely based on the individual question. I started getting MS at 5 weeks. I'm 10 weeks now and it's still going strong. But a lot of women don't experience it. A friend of mine is 24 weeks right now and she has not had ANY pregnancy symptoms. If she couldn't feel baby kicking, she'd be panicking. 

You will feel a lot more calm when baby's kicks are there for reassurance. But for now just enjoy it as much as you can. Because if MS does come, you'll long for the days you didn't have it!

jessafishy

@sofiakam between 8-10 weeks with DS it began to feel uncomfortable to lay on my belly even though I wasn't showing. It was all just... firmer... down there. That's when it started feeling real for me. 

Then, of course you start feeling movement. I'm really looking forward to that stage.

yenrec

@sophiakam sounds like you're lucky enough to have little symptoms so far, so definitely try to enjoy it although you may feel anxious to start feeling things! Most women feel flutters in the next few weeks here leading into the second trimester, and trust me when you feel a flutter, you'll be soooo excited and realize this is so real! :-) although I'm sure we will have a thread for what someone may think is their first feeling of a flutter vs what might just be stomach gas, you'll start to feel pregnant soon, I'm sure! Best wishes to you! 

beautyundefined

@mommac2017 @buttercream_frosting  thanks ladies, I think I'll wait until the second trimester. In the mean time I'll be saving 

joforyoga

soprano19 said:

Oooh I thought of one!

STMs+, did you labor at home vs. going to the hospital right away (once your water broke or you otherwise realized you were in labor)? If you labored at home for a while, at what point did you decide it was time to go to the hospital (or birthing center or whatever)?

I didn't labor at home at all because I was induced at one week late. Leading up to my due date the main thing that I kept waiting for was for my water to break but I didn't realize that many many women go into labour long before their water ever breaks and lots have their water broken at the hospital which is what happened with me. I was 7 cm dilated from induction and my water still hadn't broken so the OB goes in And breaks for you. They said it's super common and that everyone thinks they are going to go in labour like women do you want TV, at home with a big splash on the floor ha ha. I had midwives so they would've coached me over the phone and let me know when it was time to come into the hospital based on how close my contractions were together and if my water had broken. 

ForwardnBackward

soprano19 said:

Oooh I thought of one!

STMs+, did you labor at home vs. going to the hospital right away (once your water broke or you otherwise realized you were in labor)? If you labored at home for a while, at what point did you decide it was time to go to the hospital (or birthing center or whatever)?

I planned on laboring at home for a while to try and avoid early interventions (epidural, other pain meds, augmenting agents), but my water broke (with meconium) and they made me come in to confirm rupture and admitted me.  They let me try and get labor going for several hours before ultimately needing to be induced.

Several birthing classes recommend 4-1-1 or 3-1-1 as a threshold to head to the hospital. Contractions every 3 or 4 minutes, that last 1 minute in duration, and have been in that pattern for 1 hour.

kpinto

Thank you for all of your responses. I was having SUCH a tough day yesterday and I felt like I was a terrible person for feeling so miserable (when I know how happy I should be). I guess I ended up just needing a little pep talk, because today was much better...so thank you! Here's to looking forward to the second trimester!  

mandmplus1

Cythe said:

Should I be concerned that I'm not bursting at the seams of my bra? Everywhere I look, people are talking about how big their boobs are already, and I'm just like...meh. I've got boobs and they're very much like before I got pregnant.

My boobs actually got smaller and I had to buy a size down during pregnancy. 

PizzaMonster3

Such a great thread, thank you STM so much for sharing your experiences. 

My stupid question is: did any of you have to drive yourselves to the hospital? My biggest fear is that I start having contractions while DH is across town and it's rush hour. The hospital is only 15 minutes away but it took me 45 minutes the last time I went for an appointment at 4pm. 

Did you have a back up plan on getting to hospital? 

mommac2017

@vvilla3, of course every labour is different, but this never even crossed my mind. DH usually busses to work. So as we approached my due date, we made sure he took our car. I started having contractions at 6am and he still went to work. At 10, I called him and said he should come home. But first I got him to pick a few things up for me haha. He was home around 11 and we left for the hospital at 2:30. 

I think in the majority of cases (especially if it's your first delivery) you'll have enough notice. But if for some reason you don't, my backup plan was going to be to call the paramedics. Because honestly, if I'm that worried about delivering immediately, I would want them there anyway. 

migdala

@vvilla3 I'm a FTM but I've thought about this andmy back up plan is Uber 

buttercream_frosting

@vvilla3 Most (not all!) labours give you plenty of warning before you actually need to go into the hospital. I suggest taking a birthing class closer to your EDD and they tell you about timing contractions etc. It's really interesting to attend. However, it's always a good idea to have a back up plan with family or a friend. If all else fails, do what PP said and catch an uber /taxi.

purplestarz

Just wanted to reiterate definitely go in as soon as your water breaks! For me, I wasn't sure if my water had broken (tmi, I had just gone pee then I thought I felt a "little more" come out when I was done and I wasn't sure what it was). I called and whoever I talked to said if it happens again to come in since I wasn't sure if it was my water or pee. It was like 8pm so I just watched TV and went to bed shortly after. I woke up at 7am and still nothing but we decided to go in (thank god). I ended up with a super high fever (103 or 104) by the time I delivered (technically over 24 hours had passed since my leaking incident) because I somehow got an infection from my water being broken for so dang long. I never had contractions until I got to the hospital. DD had to be rushed to NICU right after birth because they wanted to make sure she was ok (she was fine). I had to stay in the hospital and get IV antibiotics for a few days. All in all not worth it when I should have just gone in right away! I'm still mad at whoever I talked to on the phone lol

PizzaMonster3

@purplestars
oh. 
my. 
god. 

Sparklelily

nmingram said:

I have questions about pumping & breastfeeding. 
1) Do you start pumping before baby is born to get a stock? Can you & should you? I guess it depends on if your milk is in. (or how ever that works!)

2) How do you pick out a pump? I don't think they let you "try it out" and return it. What pumps do you recommend?

1) Also about building up stock, many women have trouble with over production the first few weeks. If this is the case pumping can make that worse. For me it took three weeks to regulate, but for some it takes longer. In a breastfeeding class I took they recommended waiting six weeks before you pump. This obviously isn't realistic for many working moms, so if you plan on going back to work I would talk to a few women who had success. 

2)Medella is what I and everyone and there dogs use. However, I got the fanciest pump they had and never really used it because I fell in love with the hand pumps. They were just so much more efficient for me and I always felt like half the school could hear my dang electic pump. 

natleilynn

soprano19 said:

Oooh I thought of one!

STMs+, did you labor at home vs. going to the hospital right away (once your water broke or you otherwise realized you were in labor)? If you labored at home for a while, at what point did you decide it was time to go to the hospital (or birthing center or whatever)?

My water broke at home right after I had come back from walking the dogs. It took about 30 minutes for the contractions to kick in and I told SO to get our stuff, we were gone. My "plan" was to go as long as possible without meds, but I'm not ashamed to say I walked into that hospital begging for the epidural. I'm glad I did, too, because it was a full house in the hospital that evening and they were doing them based on who asked first. I happened to be one of the first to ask and my labor progressed super quickly so if I hadn't asked then, I likely wouldn't have been able to have one. My water broke about 12:30pm and DD was born about 7pm. That includes the 30 minutes in between my water breaking and the pain starting, a 35 minute drive to the hospital, and a 30 minute stay in triage while they determined if it really was my water that broke or if I had peed myself. *spoiler alert* I hadn't peed myself.

roscoe1009

@yenrec , @mommac2017, @jessafishy :  Thank you for your thoughtful input!  Good luck to all you ladies out there, both FTM and those that are on #2,3,4,5....

natleilynn

vvilla3 said:

Such a great thread, thank you STM so much for sharing your experiences. 

My stupid question is: did any of you have to drive yourselves to the hospital? My biggest fear is that I start having contractions while DH is across town and it's rush hour. The hospital is only 15 minutes away but it took me 45 minutes the last time I went for an appointment at 4pm. 

Did you have a back up plan on getting to hospital? 

I didn't drive - if you go into full blown labor, I think it would be extremely hard for you to concentrate on driving.

Here's the thing. A few days before I had DD, I went to the hospital with contractions. They were within the time limits my doctor had said to look out for, but they weren't particularly painful, just uncomfortable. With those, I could have definitely driven. That day, the hospital told me I wasn't quite far enough along to admit and would need to come back. THEN the day came that my water broke and I got hit with the real contractions. I could barely focus on sitting in the car at that point, there's no way I could have driven a vehicle.

If I went into labor at work, I had a coworker who was going to take me to the hospital until my husband could meet me. Other than that, if my husband was at work, we just had someone "on call" for lack of a better word that could take me if for some reason he absolutely couldn't get there in time. 

I don't say this to scare you because honestly, my labor/delivery were actually fairly pleasant (we watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days in between pushes and discussed Kate Hudson's boobs in that yellow dress). I'm just saying it because if you end up in a situation when your full blown contractions are out, you definitely need to have a back up plan to get yourself to the hospital. Don't plan on driving yourself unless you have no other option. 

allslee

I had to go in if my water broke. I tested positive for Strep B, so for me it was imperative to get there in time to get my antibiotics. I ended up being induced and my water was broken by the doctor, so it wasn't much of a choice for me. 

shan24

I went to bed with mild, inconsistent, untimeable contractions and woke up 3 hours later at 3-1-1. So, I guess I labored at home?  I just didn't realize it!

ac1259

soprano19 said:

Oooh I thought of one!

STMs+, did you labor at home vs. going to the hospital right away (once your water broke or you otherwise realized you were in labor)? If you labored at home for a while, at what point did you decide it was time to go to the hospital (or birthing center or whatever)?

So with my first I was 36w4d and had preterm labor issues. My water broke in the middle of the night and the doctor told me to come right away. She delivered within 12 hours of my water breaking so I was told with my 2nd that if my water broke at home I shouldn't even call them until I was in the car. My water broke around 7 am and I had to wait for MIL to come stay with DD before we could leave but wound up going in right away that time (but that was also at 34w4d). I didn't really get a choice about how soon I went in because when it's before term they want you in the hospital quickly. I tend to have textbook labors with the water breaking and contractions coming on quickly and close together. This time around I'm praying I make it to the hospital, we only live 15 minutes away now but with my 2nd I went from 6 cm to complete in 30 minutes and she dropped so quickly she came out with a bruised head! So first sign of anything I'm getting my butt to the hospital!

baker1jm2

Yes def go in right away if your water actually breaks. Most drs give you 24 hours to deliver once it breaks (or starts leaking) before they start talking about c section due to risk of infection.  My water started leaking at 3am (i thought I was peeing myself bc it was such a small amount) but didn't burst until 11am. By the time I went in at 12 they considered me 9 hours post water breaking...i literally delivered at the 24 hour mark. If they could have started petosin sooner likely wouldn't have taken me as long.  As far as driving yourself...it's pretty rare (not unheard of though) for a ftm to start contractions and have it go 0 to 100 in the time it takes to get to the hospital.  I found the childbirth class at my hospital to be VERY beneficial for talking you through what to to in different situations. 

natleilynn

baker1jm2 said:

 As far as driving yourself...it's pretty rare (not unheard of though) for a ftm to start contractions and have it go 0 to 100 in the time it takes to get to the hospital.  I found the childbirth class at my hospital to be VERY beneficial for talking you through what to to in different situations. 

I was one of those mommas that definitely went from 0 to 100 in less time than it took to get to the hospital. Since nobody knows how they'll be, I think it's always a good idea to have some sort of back up plan in place. I didn't realize I was so rare, I just know one second everything was peachy and the next I was a crazy lady screaming at everyone on the road to get out of our way haha

dogperson11

natleilynn said:

baker1jm2 said:

 As far as driving yourself...it's pretty rare (not unheard of though) for a ftm to start contractions and have it go 0 to 100 in the time it takes to get to the hospital.  I found the childbirth class at my hospital to be VERY beneficial for talking you through what to to in different situations. 

I was one of those mommas that definitely went from 0 to 100 in less time than it took to get to the hospital. Since nobody knows how they'll be, I think it's always a good idea to have some sort of back up plan in place. I didn't realize I was so rare, I just know one second everything was peachy and the next I was a crazy lady screaming at everyone on the road to get out of our way haha

Same. Water broke and 4 hours later I was holding my daughter. Went from 3 cm to 10 in 2 hours. Definitely could not have driven myself.

baker1jm2

@natleilynn yikes hope you made it in time! They also told me at childbirth class that it's pretty rare for your water to spontaneously break..which is why I guess I didn't think that's what mine was.  Guess you have to be prepared for anything!!

natleilynn

@baker1jm2 I was one of the last of my friends to have kids and had so much advice thrown at me that ended up being totally opposite of my experience.  My water broke randomly at home, just as I sat down on the couch with a glass of water after walking the dogs. My mom never went into labor with my brother or I so I had no idea what to expect.  Really hoping this one goes as smoothly haha (I'm not saying it was easy, but pretty smooth!)

@dogperson11 yes! I was only about 4 or 5 when I got to the hospital.  SO left to grab some dinner for about an hour, when he got back it was go time.  Another hour later, DD was here.  It was crazy and completely not what I was expecting. 

dogperson11

natleilynn said:

@baker1jm2 I was one of the last of my friends to have kids and had so much advice thrown at me that ended up being totally opposite of my experience.  My water broke randomly at home, just as I sat down on the couch with a glass of water after walking the dogs. My mom never went into labor with my brother or I so I had no idea what to expect.  Really hoping this one goes as smoothly haha (I'm not saying it was easy, but pretty smooth!)

@dogperson11 yes! I was only about 4 or 5 when I got to the hospital.  SO left to grab some dinner for about an hour, when he got back it was go time.  Another hour later, DD was here.  It was crazy and completely not what I was expecting. 

Yup, we joke that we will camp out in the hospital parking lot the last week of pregnancy this time

flgirl20134

@soprano19 I was scheduled for a c section (don't remember exact timing) around 39 weeks. I had an appointment to get my hair and nails done two days before, but woke up at 38 weeks feeling like I needed to get it done asap. After work I went to the salon. I finished late and DH and I went out for Thai and then stuffed ourselves with ice cream. I was having what I thought were Braxton hicks. When we got home and I stepped out of the car my water broke everywhere, like out of a movie. I went in to shower, change, and grab my bag. DH was a mess and wanted to go straight to the hospital. My water continued to leak all the way there and while waiting to be admitted for 30 minutes. I felt embarrassed bc there was so much fluid everywhere. I was not dilated at all. I was told I could not have the c section for 8 hrs bc I had eaten. I was having terrible back contractions. About 10 hrs later I still was not dilated at all and went in for surgery. I was told as well that water rarely breaks, but mine did. I would suggest bring pads and towels for the ride to the hospital if your does. 

nhoover88

Genetic Testing.....Your opinion...yes have the testing or no don't. Also, will they be able to tell what the sex is either by the blood work they will do or at the U/S? I know its early for an U/S to pick it up. I will be right at 13 weeks. I'm not sure what all they do, but I am assuming more blood work and an U/S. I am nervous about this appointment because I don't know what they're going to do.

I thought I was going to run out of blood at my 1st appointment!  LOL

jessafishy

I opted not to do genetic testing for DS or this pregnancy. We don't have any family history of CF and a lot of things can be caught later at the anatomy scan. 

If I had any family history of genetic diseases I would do the extra testing in a heartbeat.

nhoover88

Thanks @jessafishy ! As a FTM you don't know what you should or shouldn't do. I don't have genetic diseases in my family either. I probably should've opted out, but I wasn't really sure if that was the right thing. I guess I could call and cancel the genetic testing....it's in 2 weeks. I assume it would save money if I didn't have it done....

jessafishy

@nmingram I don't think there is anything wrong with having all the information. Does your insurance cover the testing? That is a factor as well!

natleilynn

@nmingram  we didn't do any genetic testing for DD and most likely won't do it for this one, either. We don't have family history of anything and to be honest, it probably wouldn't make a difference in how we proceeded with the pregnancy. I've had several friends do the testing, "find" something inconclusive (which worried them for the remainder of their pregnancy), only to have the baby(ies) come out fine. Seriously. Not one of them with inconclusive testing results had any issues with their babies. On the other hand, I have several friends who did testing, found nothing, only to find out that there are issues when the baby was born. 

If we had any family history, we would probably opt in for it. But for me, I tend to worry enough throughout the pregnancy without adding an additional layer of stress. We'll deal with any tough decisions when we come to them, if we come to them. 

There's absolutely no right or wrong here. It's whatever you're comfortable with and, as someone mentioned above, if your insurance will cover it.

keiraanne

vvilla3 said:

Such a great thread, thank you STM so much for sharing your experiences. 

My stupid question is: did any of you have to drive yourselves to the hospital? My biggest fear is that I start having contractions while DH is across town and it's rush hour. The hospital is only 15 minutes away but it took me 45 minutes the last time I went for an appointment at 4pm. 

Did you have a back up plan on getting to hospital? 

I fear that too! My husband works out of town on a four on, four off schedule. I'm only at seven weeks, so we have a lot of time to plan logistics, but it's a four-hour drive (or 30 minute flight) for him to get back here if I start going into labour!

natleilynn

@keiraanne the odds are in your favor (if that's what you want to call it?) that your labor will last more than 4 hours, especially as a FTM. Mine was just under 7 hours from water breaking at home until baby in my arms and that was considered pretty freaky fast. So I'd have a game plan ready for how you get TO the hospital, but chances are, your husband would make it back in time for you to have the baby. And fingers crossed that  you have it on one of his 4 off schedules

ALSO - you may know it's coming and be able to plan somewhat. DD arrived on a Saturday but I started having mild contractions that Wednesday evening. Completely erratic, but enough to make me take notice. Thursday I was having contractions that were within the 5 minute or so time frame, but weren't painful at all. Friday I had painful contractions, but the timing was all over the place. So DH was kind of on alert for a few days prior that okay, something's up, something's changing. I had DD a week early from my due date.

ChocolateIsLife

Hello ladies, what are your thoughts on bringing your newborn around during the holidays? Our due date is a month before Thanksgiving, and to me it seems too soon to be around our big families(especially DHs because people are always sick). 

folamij

@ChocolateIsLife overall it's your call, but newborns immune system is low. If you  choose to go to others homes; I wouldn't allow many people hold baby.  IMO, if you know people are going to be sick, I personally wouldn't. Having a sick newborn is dangerous, and no amount of family guilt (it happens) changes that for me. 

ChocolateIsLife

@folamij I definitely agree, and plan to stay home. I was talking with an inlaw earlier and she seemed to not understand why I was concerned, then gave me the "when I was a kid, germs were a good thing" lecture. I am going with my gut instinct and will stay home, but it is reassuring to hear others on here reiterate that, so thank you! She made it seem like I was going to be a helicopter parent.

ETA I do feel that if people on DHs side didn't come to holiday functions while sick, then I might be more open to it. But they seriously don't care if they have strep or the flu and it's every year.

PizzaMonster3

Question - did anyone supplement their diets with protein powder/shakes once pregnant? I've lost some weight in the last month and food aversions are really taking a toll on my meat protein intake. 
Did any of you have a favorite powder/shake?

dogperson11

natleilynn said:

@baker1jm2 I was one of the last of my friends to have kids and had so much advice thrown at me that ended up being totally opposite of my experience.  My water broke randomly at home, just as I sat down on the couch with a glass of water after walking the dogs. My mom never went into labor with my brother or I so I had no idea what to expect.  Really hoping this one goes as smoothly haha (I'm not saying it was easy, but pretty smooth!)

@dogperson11 yes! I was only about 4 or 5 when I got to the hospital.  SO left to grab some dinner for about an hour, when he got back it was go time.  Another hour later, DD was here.  It was crazy and completely not what I was expecting. 

Yup, we joke that we will camp out in the hospital parking lot the last week of pregnancy this time